


The Kitty Ranch

by Diana_Flynn



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-11
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2017-11-28 23:41:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 169,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/680195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diana_Flynn/pseuds/Diana_Flynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss Everdeen is not one to look back at the choices she makes, especially if it means providing for the only person she loves - her sister Prim. This includes being a prostitute at the Kitty Ranch in Nevada. Her secret life and world are shaken when the rich media darling Peeta Mellark comes walking into her life. Modern day AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Let Me Entertain You

Work is never easy when you haven’t had enough sleep, which I haven’t. It is hard to keep the enthusiasm going when you want to just curl up in a corner and take a nap. Unfortunately naps won’t pay the bills for my sister’s schooling and my mother’s oxycontin habit so I try to stifle my yawn with a loud moan as my customer pumps me from behind with a lot of energy if not a lot of skill. 

“You like it like that huh, I knew you couldn’t get enough of me” he grunts as he increases his thrusts and slaps my ass again. “Oh yeah, Mr. Crane. Right there.” Insert louder fake moan by me. God I wish he would finish already, I think my knees are getting rug burn and my ass is a nice shade of red. I decide it’s time to fake my orgasm "Oh god Mr. Crane I'm coming." I scream as I clench around his unimpressive member. I think that was an oscar winning performance and he finally grips my hips with one more final hard push and he collapses on me. Damnit I'm pretty sure I do have rug burn. 

He pulls out and slaps me on the ass one more time for good measure before tossing away the condom. “That was amazing Diana, you are the best fuck in Nevada. Can I see you next week?”

Finally I can get up and curl into the silk sheets of my bed. I slide in without hesitation and give a real moan of relief as I snuggle in the bed not bothering to put any clothes on. 

“Of course sweetie, I would love you to hit it to me like you did today. You are my favorite customer.” Like I would say no when he pays me $3,000 for one visit. 

Seneca Crane with his ridiculous sculpted beard puts back his well pressed Armani suite, straightens his tie, gives himself a look in the mirror like he’d like to make love to himself and is ready to go. One more tongue thrust in my mouth and he is gone without looking back. That’s fine with me, I hate when they give awkward goodbyes of affection to make themselves feel better about paying for sex, or worse, puppy dog eyes of love. Finally I can take that nap. 

My name is Katniss Everdeen, I go by Diana Flynn, I work at the Kitty Ranch, Nowhere Nevada, and I sell my body for money.


	2. All Hands on Deck

“Fuck you bitch! You know he came in here for me!” 

“Well I don’t know that and he sure didn’t act like it when he was moaning my name a few minutes ago.” 

"I can't even go to the bathroom in this damn place without you stealing a customer."

I pry my heavy eyes open and I see that the sun has just set. I wish I could get sleep outside of my daytime naps but at least it’s something. It has to be around 7:30pm. Like clockwork my human alarm clock Delly & Joanna are at it again. Every evening they find something to fight about, usually the subject being men. Delly’s sunny personality and Joanna’s caustic nature are like oil and vinegar. I don’t know why Haymitch schedules them at the same time. I think it’s because he’s bored and uses their fights as entertainment. 

Well I might as well get up and get something to eat. Looking in my closet I decide to go with the comfort of a tank and silk shorts instead of a sexy but not very comfortable lace ensemble. I skip any underwear because there is no point. I made my money this afternoon so I don’t have to worry about looking sexy to impress anyone right now. I am taking the night off, eating some greasy food and watching some bad reality TV. I think The Bachelor might be on tonight.

“Damnit Joanna and Delly why don’t you just sleep with each other and get it over with?” I say as I enter the hallway rubbing my eyes. 

They stare at me stunned for a moment mid fight. That certainly shut them up. Joanna lifts her eyebrow and turns to Delly and says, “Well do you want to take me for a spin? I’ll give you a discount”. 

Delly throws up her hands, sputters something about living with crazy people and stomps to her room, blond hair and big boobs swish almost in the same hypnotic rhythm. 

I hear a snort and look over to see Haymitch leaning against his office door “Hey sweetheart. You look like a rat slept on your head. That’s the way to bring the guys in.” 

“Fuck you Haymitch, I was with that rich fool Crane so I’m done for the day. I’m starving, do we have any food in this pit?” I answer back.

He barks a laugh and then takes out his flask, “You only show up for food or fucking. And as you’ve done the fuck part I figured you’d just come out for the food part. There is a layout in the VIP room, looks like we’re having a party tonight, so you’d better get your food before they decide you are the main course too.” With that he takes a swig of whatever god awful swill he has in that flask and goes back into his office. 

Joanna saunters over to me in her usual uniform of thong lace panties and nothing else. She oozes confidence with her long legs and shapely body. Besides me, she is the most sought after woman at the Kitten Ranch, it doesn’t matter that she has a pixie haircut and wears little makeup compared to most of the girls that layer it on. I honestly don’t know what men see in me as I have half the body she does and I don’t wear that much makeup either. I can only say my boobs don’t sag because they aren’t large enough too, but Effie always has me booked up with the richest clients and I'm always assigned to the VIP room instead of the main floor. Haymitch saw something in me from day one and damnit if he wasn't right. Maybe men just like the challenge of a surly attitude. 

“How was ol’ Seneca today. The usual thrust and slap?” she says as she bumps my shoulder. 

I can feel my face flush as I just look down and shake my head and blow a breath out. “Really brainless? You’re so damn pure, you can’t even talk about your customers without blushing?”

“Damnit Joanna, just because I don’t lay out every sexual detail like you do, doesn’t mean I’m pure. I’m just as much a whore as you are.”

“Not believin’ it until I see you talk about your exploits without turning red,” she says as she tugs my arm. 

“Come on. I’m starving too, let’s go get something to eat and you can try and tell me about your slappin’ adventures without blushing. We can make it into a drinking game,” she continues. I follow her shaking my head. There is no use answering back, I know she'll get her way anyway. 

We enter the main area and Haymitch was not kidding when he talked about a spread. An entire side of the big room is taken up by of food from carved meats, heavy appetizers and dessert. There is also a catering staff to serve it all. What am I missing here? This must be some special group coming in if that miser Snow is footing the bill for this spread. We might have a rich clientele here but he rarely puts out for anything extra fancy. 

I turn to Joanna to see her reaction and she has a look of a sumo wrestler at a Vegas buffet and I'm sure my expression isn't much different. We grab plates and just as we are about to grab some food I hear the purposeful click of that damn Effie Trinket’s heels. I turn to see what’s up and good lord she looks like if Rainbow Bright grew up and decided to run a brothel tonight. The dress is so bright with it’s various colors it’s giving me a hangover before I even have a drink. Where did she find that awful thing?

"Now girls. Manners! We shouldn't eat before our guests are here. Put those plates down now. And Katniss why aren't you wearing something sexy?" 

"Aww come on Effie. We're starving. All I've had was dick for lunch today. Give some whores a break." Joanna groans. I know it's useless to argue with Effie and I head straight to the bar to get a drink. 

"Don't be crude Joanna. You may work at a brothel but we pride ourselves in being ladies first. And ladies wait for the gentlemen." I can't help but snort. 

"Gentlemen my ass" I grumble. Effie gives me a hard stare and then turns to the servers and warns them not to feed any of the girls before the men come. 

“So what’s up with the spread anyway Effie? And I’m not working tonight.” I state as I slide onto a bar seat. 

She gives a look of frustration as she crosses her arms “I don’t know. Mr. Snow just told me to set up the VIP room, and have the best girls and best food out tonight. So that means that you will need to get dressed Katniss. Now I want the both of you back here at 8:30 pm sharp. And Katniss, Snow expressly asked that you be here so no excuses.” And without further ado she’s out of the room, probably to terrorize Haymitch or some of the other girls about manners & etiquette. 

“Well there goes my night off.” I tell Joanna as she sits next to me. 

“What’s the point of bad if lucrative sex with Seneca Crane if I can’t take the night off?” I say putting my head on the bar. 

Joanna laughs appreciatively and we order gin and tonics from the bartender Thresh. He throws us a couple of bags of chips and candy bars with a wink. 

“Something to tide you over” he rumbles. 

“What would we do without you Thresh?” And I truly mean it. Not only is he the bartender extraordinaire here, but his dark, impressive frame keeps the men in check and he has the heart of a teddy bear to boot. 

“No worries” he replies before going to stock some glasses. Okay, maybe he’s not much of a talker. 

“Well Joanna I better go back to my room and get dressed. I gather that the lace thong panties you’re currently wearing is as dressed up you’ll be tonight?”

“You know it” she replies. 

I leave her sipping her drink at the bar and head back to my room while drinking my own. I hope the alcohol will get me out of the bad mood I’m starting to feel. I look in my wardrobe and find a black lace teddy that plunges past my belly button and matching garter & stockings. I figure the black will be my silent rebellion for working tonight. I put on a short silk green robe over it and slip on my five inch black stilettos. Now that’s all figured out I scarf my junk food, brush my long brown hair and put some makeup on and head back out. 

I enter the room and see that all the other girls invited to the VIP party have already made it into the VIP room and are lounging around various couches chatting. Little Rue, Bristel and Annie are chatting in one corner. Rue is tiny, dark with big innocent eyes. She is an expert with the virgins and shy ones. Her sweetness and chatty free nature reminds me of my sister Prim and I find myself watching after her over all the rest. Annie is our waif with her long black hair, pale skin and green eyes. She has the most trouble with men falling in love with her to her great frustration. Bristel is our firecracker red head who is temperamental but knows how to always get the party going. 

At another corner is my least favorite people Glimmer & Clove who are already glowering at me. On outwards appearance they look like complete opposite as Glimmer is a tan barbie doll who looks like she has taken advantage of too much plastic surgery for her young age and Clove is pale, petite with straight black hair to her shoulders. What they do have in common is their matching evil petty souls and their need to make my life miserable. They hate Joanna and I because they think we are robbing them of the best clientele. It is not worth my time to argue with them so I mostly try to avoid any contact.

Lastly, at the bar is Joanna, Delly and Madge laughing about something. Although both blonde Madge & Delly are very different. Delly is curvey, gets along with everyone (except for Joanna), very loud and opinionated. Madge looks like an English rose with her beautiful hazel eyes, subdued nature and cornsilk hair. I am happy to see that Joanna and Delly are getting along at the moment. In fact they look pretty cozy with each other right now as Delly's hand is on Joanna's knee. I swear maybe they should just relieve their sexual tension. All the girls stare longingly at the food every so often. We all know that with men here we won’t be able to go to town on the food like we want too. Instead it will be small servings and delicate bites. My stomach grumbles at the thought. 

Haymitch and Effie enter the room and everyone stops their conversations to see what's up. Haymitch looks more miserable than usual but maybe it’s because he’s not drunk enough yet. He rubs his eyes, lank blond hair falling over his face as Effie prattles on about time and efficiency. She finally turns her attention to us and claps her hands to get our attention even though we are already waiting.

“Now girls attention please, the group of men are here. They asked for an all nighter party so don’t expect to get any time off until they leave tomorrow morning. Line up so they can get a good look at you and remember to give them a warm greeting.” They all shuffle in line except for Joanna and I, as I go sit at the bar next to her. Effie hates that we don’t make the effort but she can’t argue with our results. 

As she glares at the two of us Haymitch speaks up “Now don’t fuck this one up. These people are too important and you don’t want Snow on your ass if anything happens. I’ll be in my office so don’t bother me unless it’s an emergency”. He stares directly at me knowing full well I am in a surly mood and would be the only one to cause him trouble. He leaves without waiting for Effie and I know I won’t see him for the rest of the night. 

“Ladies, I’ll stay for the greetings but then I’ll be in my office waiting for those lovely credit cards!” She trills. 

As she finishes we hear the loud sounds of uncoordinated feet and booming laughs come from the side entrance and we know it’s time to start. As they tumble into the room, obviously a few drinks in already, I look them over to see what is so important they deserve the extra VIP treatment. 

Fuck me, it’s Senator Mellark from California and his golden boy sons. He just won his second election term and is obviously in the mood to celebrate. He won by a landslide charming everyone with his warm easy going nature. His youngest son was implemental in the win, running his campaign and giving captivating interviews that changed the minds of any doubters. As they all finally enter, there he is, on everyone’s #1 Bachelor lists, all blue eyes and California good looks - Peeta Mellark - scowling at me without his usual TV ready boyish charm.


	3. Let's Get the Party Started

“Welcome to the Kitty Ranch Senator Mellark!” Effie steps forward in greeting as she quickly figures out who our mysterious guest is. 

Along with the Senator and his three sons three more young men pile into the room after them. Even if you didn’t know who the Mellark men were, it would be easy to point them out from the rest as being related with their matching curly blonde hair and blue eyes. Senator Evan Mellark just has the laugh lines, and Peeta’s is shorter but broader in the chest then the rest. 

In their drunken state the men become virtually silent, eyes roving around at all the tits and ass in the room, the exception being Senator Mellark and Peeta. The Senator is the only one politely listening to Effie as she chatters away and Peeta is too busy staring at me with that angry look he’s had since he got here. Does he remember me? How could he?

“These are my girls Clove, Glimmer, Bristel, Annie, Madge, Ruby, Delta, Jo, and Diane. Just mingle amongst the girls, have some drinks and food and enjoy yourselves.” Effie pointing to all of us with pride. Her voice breaks me away from Peeta’s stare and gets his attention as well. 

“Once you pick a girl you would like to be with they’ll take you back to their room where there is a menu of services. The girls will have their own conditions and I ask that you respect that. Once you pick what you like just give your credit card to your lady and she will bring it me to be charged. No extra tips are necessary. Now have a good time gentlemen.” With that Effie trots out of the room and leaves us to it. 

The girls immediately descend on the Senator and his boys, each giving coy glances and soft touches. Bristel starts the festivities by exclaiming loudly that everyone needs to do shots which all the men cheer too. Thresh pulls a bottle of Patron and starts pouring out tequila shots for everyone. 

“It’s time to claim the prime cut beef in here” Joanna says as she picks up two shots and heads straight for the Senator who is flanked on either side by Glimmer & Clove. 

She stares directly at the Senator, not giving the girls one glance as she hands him his shot and orders them to hand out the other shots out. The Senator is obviously hypnotized by Joanna and the other girls are completely forgotten. I can’t help but give a small smirk. Never underestimate the sexual power of Joanna. Glimmer and Clove leave with a huff but do as she says anyway and pass out the shots. The Senator follows Joanna to one of the leather couches where she promptly sits on his lap claiming him as her own. 

While everyone is mingling I stay perched at the bar. Snow be damned, I’m not into playing the sex kitten right now and I don’t feel comfortable doing anything but sipping my shot while Peeta is still staring at me from across the room. The other girls try to solicit him, but he barely acknowledges them as he fidgets with the drink in his hand while sitting on a large ottoman next to his his friend Marvel. 

Always the master of ceremonies, Bristel declares that introductions need to be made all around and she wants to know what the special occasion is. Senator Mellark is completely hypnotized by Joanna as she softly grinds into his lap and he already has one of her tits in his mouth so he is out for the introductions. One of the other Mellark boys who is standing next to Bristel and Delly announces himself as Mitch and proclaims it is a celebration of Senator Mellarks reelection. 

“Let’s drink to dad having six more years in office and to future Senator Peeta Mellark for an excellent job running the campaign!” Mitch says.

Peeta just grimaces and takes a big gulp of his drink while everyone cheers and more alcohol is liberally poured. His friends are either too drunk to care or are used to this attitude as they ignore the fact that Peeta looks miserable. Introductions commence and the second brother Rye introduces himself, followed by their alarmingly handsome friend Finnick who has bronze hair and green eyes, then there is the Senator’s assistant Thom who reminds me of my friend Gale with his height and dark hair, and lastly self proclaimed playboy Marvel who is average height, dirty blonde and looks like this isn’t his first rodeo in a brothel. 

Soon after introductions everyone breaks up into small groups and it gets heated pretty fast. Rye is obviously not a shy one as his dick is already out as Madge is giving him a hand job. Clove & Glimmer are both topless now as they are poll dancing together in front of Marvel and Peeta; occasionally making out for the mens’ benefit. Mitch is the first to leave with Delly and Bristel under each arm. He looks like he’s one able to handle two at once. The Senator follows soon after with Joanna. I don’t think he said a word to anyone else after he met her. I try to stay social by chatting with Finnick, Annie, Rue and Thom but I’m not being aggressive about claiming anyone. Finnick is charming and handsome enough but he only has eyes for Annie, the same for Thom with Rue. The benefit is if I don’t end up with someone tonight I will still get the rest of my evening off and can say I participated. 

I’m feeling uncomfortable with every move I make as Peeta’s eyes always go to me even when Glimmer makes a move to sit on his lap. I don’t like being reminded of my past and he is a living breathing reminder of one of the worst times of my life. I can’t help but look in his direction again and see his intense blue eyes glare at me as he grips Glimmer’s hips while she is giving him a lap dance. God I really hope he doesn't remember me, just thinks I’m unattractive and shouldn’t be in the VIP room. The sooner he leaves with Glimmer, the better. 

I go to the bar with Rue to get a few more drinks and she uses the opportunity to ask me what’s bothering me. She can read me better than anyone besides Haymitch, but unlike him she actually cares. 

“I’ll tell you tomorrow Rue. You should go back to Thom, I think he wants some soulful brown eyes to look at tonight.” I answer.

“Well you aren’t getting out of telling me tomorrow. You know I won’t forget so let’s eat the leftovers from this party for breakfast and talk about it.” 

“Yes little sister.” I say with a sigh. 

Thom comes from behind and wraps his arms around Rue. The room is quickly emptying now as Rye and Madge leave the room together as well as Clove with Marvel. 

“Are you ready to get out of here?” Thom asks as he kisses her neck. 

“Yes Mr. Anderson.” Rue replies while giving me a small smile. 

Finnick is about to leave with Annie but turns around to Peeta and hollers “Are you actually going have some fun for once Peeta? I know you didn’t want to come here, but this party is for you too so get that stick out of your ass and release some tension.” He says this with an obvious wink. I guess this surly attitude Peeta’s been sporting is his usual personality. 

Peeta rises from his seat, extricating himself from Glimmers clutches and comes over to the bar. “I think I will” he says while only looking at me. He offers me his hand.

“Katniss, are you ready to come with me?” Well damn, he does remember me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might notice when Effie introduces the girls, some names where slightly changed. All the girls have fake names in some way or another but Katniss refers to them as they would want her.


	4. Yes Sir, May I Have Another?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure everyone is dying for some explanations about how she met Peeta but I think that everyone one can agree to wait 2 more chapters to get on to some smut!

“Katniss, are you ready to come with me?” 

I seem to have lost the ability to speak so I only nod yes as I take the warm large hand that he offers me. I feel a current of electricity run up my arm and down my spine as I hold his hand and I have the sudden urge to pull away. He grips my hand tightly like he knows that I am ready to run. I look up into his eyes and I see that they dilate with lust. This gives me the courage to go with him since it’s at least an improvement from the angry glares he has given me all night. 

“Let me show you my room,” I finally manage to say as I pull him out the door behind Thom and Rue. 

 

I can’t help but look over and see Glimmers flushed angry face as I walk out with Peeta. She’s the only one not with someone tonight so that means she’ll have to go to the main room to find another client who will most likely pay less money. I’m not looking forward to seeing her tomorrow morning as Delly and Joanna’s recent argument runs through my head.

We walk down the hallway in silence. He hasn’t said anything since that one and only command he gave me. I can’t even look at him right now and I can feel my face blushing. Joanna would have a field day if she saw me right now acting like a novice. As we pass the other rooms you can hear the various screams and moans coming through the doors. I seriously consider telling Haymitch that they should sound proof this place better as I hear the crack of a whip and “Yes Mistress!” coming from Cloves room. 

We finally get to my room, which is the last door on the right, and I open the door to let him in. Snow let me have one of the best rooms on the Ranch because of my rich clientele. In the center is a large King size bed with new black and green silk sheets replacing the ones from this afternoon. There is also a tantra chair underneath the tinted window to the left and a tiny stage with a poll to the right next to my swing and a wall of sex toys. Almost everything is here to fill a man’s fantasy. Peeta shows no real reaction as he enters, he just immediately sits on a black leather chair in front of the bed and looks up at me with authority. 

“What is your price.” I hand him a long card that is sitting on my dresser with the list of what I do and how much. “Just look it over and let me know what you would like and what questions you have. Once you sign the form and give me your credit card I will take it to the front for payment and be back immediately. The only things I don’t do is anal or receive oral.” 

He quirks up his eyebrow at this statement and throws back the card at me. “I didn’t ask what different services you offer, I asked what your total price was for whatever I want. Including oral on you.” 

I swallow hard with apprehension. He doesn’t even like me, what does he expect me to do tonight? “Well, it’s $5,000 for everything for the entire night, and as I said before I don’t receive oral.” 

“Well I will do oral on you, but I will make it $10,000 for the entire night.” 

I am speechless for a good minute. It has been a policy of mine for the last two years not to receive oral from my clients mostly because the men I’ve been with act like they are dogs lapping at water and I just got tired of it. I find my resolve crumbling as I realize that my take of what he is paying would finally put me over the top for Prim’s college savings. 

“Fine. It’s a deal. Just sign the amount you are giving me right here and hand me your credit card,” I finally say.

I can’t help but scowl still at Peeta getting his way and Effie would kick me for how rude I just sounded right then. My answer doesn’t phase him though and he complies with what I say. Trying to check my anger and be polite, I tell him I’ll be right back and to make himself comfortable.

I walk down to the office quickly and hand Effie my form and his credit card. Her eyes pop out as she sees the amount. 

“Oh Katniss! How lovely. I’m glad you finally decided to turn on the charm tonight. Snow will be so pleased with you when I tell him,” she says.

I don’t bother to answer her as I don’t care if Snow is happy with me or not. She efficiently rings the amount up wishes me "Happy Sex Games!" and I am back at my bedroom door in no time. 

When I reenter Peeta is still sitting in the same leather chair with all his clothes on. The exception is that his dick is out and he is stroking it. I can’t help but clench my thighs together as I take in it’s very impressive girth and length as he looks at me with dark animalistic eyes. The way he looks at me makes me feel like an amateur all over again waiting for a lesson. Heat is coursing through my body in a way I haven’t felt in a long time, if ever. 

He notices my reaction and gives me a grin as he states “You look ready Katniss.” 

“Yes Mr. Mellark,” I say respectfully. “Come here and kneel in front of me. I need you so show me what you can do with our mouth.”

“I thought you wanted to go down on me?” I can’t help but retort. 

“Patience my little Kat. I want to see what you can do first.” He says this while never stopping languidly stroking his half stiff cock. I hate that he is giving me sweet terms of endearment with my real name, but I’m not ready to acknowledge that he recognizes me from outside the brothel. 

I walk towards him slowly and kneel down in front of him while gripping his knees, my eyes never leaving his. I remove his hand and pull his pants further down to give me more room. I start by licking his cock slowly from under the base to the tip, swirling my tongue at the top and tasting his pre-cum. As I put my mouth over the tip I can feel him fully stiffening in my mouth and I hear him start to groan and pant softly. 

“Look at me,” he commands. 

He takes my long dark brown hair in his hand and strokes his fingers through it gently. I look up into the dark pool of his eyes, the blue irises barely visible. I feel like I am going to get lost in their depths, but I break eye contact and I continue my ministrations, licking and sucking at various intervals. I use one hand to grip his base while I suck the top with my mouth and my other hand is across his hips to hold him down. I take a deep breath and then take him all the way in my mouth and down my throat and start bobbing vigorously. 

I can feel his whole body stiffen as he tries not too jerk too much. He stops stroking my hair and both hands grip my head. I take my hand that was previously gripping his cock and start playing with his ball. I feel his cock stiffen even more as he shudders and comes down my throat with a deep grunt reverberating through him. Finally I release him, wipe whatever trickled out of my mouth with the back of my hand and try to catch my breath as I sit back on my heels. 

Peeta looks down at me with a satiated grin and I can’t help but be happy that he is pleased. 

“That was perfect little Kat,” he says running his fingers through my hair again. Damn it, there’s that name again and I hate that my belly is clenching when he says it. 

“Now take off your lingerie slowly for me,” he orders.

I rise up and do as he says, taking my time pulling off my heels, bending over in front of him as I roll down my thigh-highs and finally slipping off my teddy until I’m completely naked. 

"Come forward and stand still." 

I comply and he starts stroking my thigh. He moves from the outside up slowly until his hand moves into my inner thigh and touches my lips. His fingers glance over my clit and runs through my folds. I can feel my legs start to shake when he pulls it away suddenly leaving me throbbing. 

"I see that you eager little Kat,” he says as he licks his fingers, tasting my wetness. 

His hand suddenly plunges back in between my thighs and he inserts two fingers up my pussy, starting to pump me vigorously. 

I moan loudly and he stops, "No noise Katniss or you won't find your completion. And hold your hands behind your back." 

I nod my assertion and he continues to pump me as he leans back in his chair. His fingers start to curl inside me while he presses my clit with his thumb and pleasure shoots through my legs. I can hardly stand anymore but I start grinding my hips into his hand. I take a sharp intake of breath trying to suppress my moans and then I finally find my release while his hand keeps moving until its completely over. 

"Very good," he says while I’m breathing hard, knees leaning against his chair and eyes barely open. 

He rises from his chair stroking his hand up my leg at the same time finally landing on my nipple which he gently tweaks. I can't help but clench my thighs again and feeling my wetness increase. 

“Now little Kat, take off all my clothes.” 

I start to unbutton his shirt and can’t help but blush and look down for some reason as I do so. He takes his hand to my chin and lifts it up. 

“Don’t break eye contact,” he says. 

I do what he says and pull off his shirt and feel his rock hard muscles as I rub my hands up and down his chest and torso, fingers curling through his soft chest hair. I bend down and untie his shoes and take them off for him. I rise slowly and then push his pants and underwear down at the same time. He steps out of them and I take all his clothes and lay them down neatly over the leather chair and wait for his further instructions. 

My heart starts to pound as I take in his beautiful form without the constriction of clothes. Peeta has not one ounce of fat on his body and he looks like he can lift someone double my weight. I want to feel all of him but mostly I want to run my hands through his light blonde curly hair and get it out of its current neat shape. 

“Now lie down on the bed. I'm not quite done with you yet."

I do what he says, lying in the middle of the bed. He follows after me and takes a hold of my ankles and pushes them up until I am open wide to him. He moves up between my legs and takes a nipple in my mouth. He sucks and he licks while tweaking my other nipple. he bites down and tugs making me squirm before switching sides and does the same thing to my other nipple. 

I start grinding into his body, and he moves down not giving me the satisfaction of feeling him. He kisses and licks my torso until he is back at my center. By this time my arousal is not only risen again it is double the first time. I can feel the hot pants of his breath brushing on my skin and I wait for his next move. He takes his time and I start to shake, gripping the sheets. 

Then I suddenly feel his tongue licking me vigorously. He uses it along with his fingers and then sucks my clit strongly in his mouth. Oh my god it feels good. It takes all my willpower not to make a noise and my body is jerking wildly off the bed. I clutch his hair to do something with my hands as I feel my body coils tight as a snake ready to strike. I look down and see he is rubbing himself off as he is going down on me. 

Suddenly I feel my body break in a million pieces as I come hard. I moan out "Peeta!" loudly and fall back on the bed boneless as he follows soon after arching up and shooting his load onto my stomach. As I come to my senses I look over at him with fear as I disobeyed an order by making noise and using his first name without permission. He cleans me up then rests his head on my stomach and he laughs, a pleasant low sound I wish I heard from him all the time.

"That last moan is what I wanted from you. Something real, not that fake shit you were doing before." 

I look down at him and start playing with his curls. I can’t figure out this quiet and intense man. He is so different from any man I met before and has changed so much from that time I met him.

"Well what would you like to do next Mr. Mellark?" I ask.

He moves his body next to me and pulls us under the covers. He wraps his strong arms around me and finally replies, "To sleep." 

Wait. What? “But you paid me to do anything?" I asked confused.

"Yes I did and I am paying you to go to sleep with me." 

With that he closes his eyes and says nothing further. I reach over and turn off the light switch before laying back in his arms. Great. I am going to be awake all night in this mans arms with only the moans of other people having sex to keep me company. I'm sure that my arm tucked underneath my body is the only part of me which will fall asleep. But as my head finds a comfortable nook between his chest and shoulder I find myself surprisingly comfortable and my eyes shut as I drift off into a dreamless sleep.


	5. Let's Wash Away That Frustration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey kittens! More smut coming your way and I am sure this chapter will make you just as frustrated as Katniss in more ways than one, but all good things come to those that wait. The next chapter is already written and will be posted tomorrow. You can look forward to some girlfights and answers.

I wake up with a start disorientated for a moment wondering if Prim, mom or dad is the one knocking at my door. I feel someone’s arm over me and realize that I am not home, dad is dead and I am at the Kitty Ranch. 

My heart clenches and a wave of sadness sweeps over me for a moment like it does everytime I think of my father. I hate that I will never see his sweet smile again. I hate how senseless that warehouse fire was that took his life. What I hate more than anything is what it did to my family, how it made my mother want to get lost in pills. 

I wipe away a tear that has escaped and I look over to see Peeta still asleep next to me, our legs intertwined, blanket down to his hips and his hand stretched over my breast. He looks so angelic in his sleep, the harsh expression from last night smoothed away from his face, looking more like the man I met more than six years ago. I feel the anger and sadness leave as I take in his sleeping form as comfort settles back in. This is the first time I have been able to have a full night sleep since my father’s death. I can’t believe the warmth and safety I found in the arms of a man who wasn’t able to say one nice word to me yesterday.

I’m about to reach out and touch his face but pull back last minute, I don’t want to think why he made me feel so safe. He’s just another customer and the sooner he leaves the better. I slip out of bed carefully to see who had knocked at the door, walking quietly over I see a small envelope lying on the ground. 

“Is everything okay Katniss?” Peeta asks groggily as he starts to wake up. 

“Everything’s fine Mr. Mellark I am just picking up a note left for us.” I slip back into the bed and he immediately pulls me close. 

“Good morning,” he says giving me the first smile I’ve seen from him this entire time, and it lights up his face so much it makes my heart stutter. 

I can’t help but smile back and he strokes my cheek with his thumb. I subconsciously lick my chapped lips and his hand moves to the back of my head and he pulls me in and gives me a gentle kiss on the lips. This is another first for us and my lips tingle at the contact with his soft lips. We stare at one another for a moment before I see the scar on his temple. I ghost my fingers over it and he puts his hand over mine, closing his eyes and pressing my hand to his head. I move towards him and go for another kiss, one that expresses what I feel but cannot say. It soon because heated as every part of our bodies become pressed together, my mouth opens to the touch of his tongue and he dips deeply exploring every part of my mouth. 

I can’t seem to get enough, I feel like a person dying of thirst getting water for the first time. I feel his hardness growing against my leg and the feeling is making all the blood rush south. I reach down and grab his cock in my hand and I start stroking it. He moans into my mouth before breaking away to look in my eyes. We are both panting heavily and his hips are still bucking against my body. There is something different about him this morning. He looks more relaxed, the look of anger completely gone. It has been replaced with a warmer expression but he is also looks like he’s trying to figure me out.

“So what’s in the note?” He finally asks pulling away from me and lying on his back. I had completely forgotten about it and it is crumpled next to my pillow. I sit up and open it. 

“It invites us to have breakfast in the VIP room in an hour with everyone else before you have to leave. Since you have some time would you like to use my bathroom and take a shower?” 

“I think that would be great, but Katniss I’m going to need you to take care of me first,” he says as he looks down and I see the effect my hand had in making him rock hard. 

“What would you like me to do Mr. Mellark?” I ask.

“Same thing as you did last night will be great and please call me Peeta.” 

“Yes Peeta, whatever you wish,” I say, kind of disappointed because by this point I am so worked up I really wanted to know how he would feel on me and pushing inside of me. 

“That’s a dangerous statement Katniss,” He says with a grin. I’m not quite sure what he means so I push him down, sit up, lick my hand start to stroking his cock again and before long his hips start to move. 

“Use your mouth Kat,” he growls so I move my head down and start licking and sucking on him. 

Peeta starts to groan and he clutches my head a little harder than he did last night. Every sound he makes shoots straight down to my groin, it turns me on so much hearing the noises he makes. I deep throat him again and this time I give some payback by tweaking his nipple. Soon he finds his release, gripping my head down as he bucks up so I take him deeper than I did before and I swallow everything he has to offer. 

After he recovers he moves off the bed to take a shower. “Come with me Katniss, I think we both can use a cleaning and I want to reward you again for such great service. 

He pulls me up and we head to the bathroom. It is quite large with a sunk in tub and a separate large waterfall shower. It’s my favorite place at the Ranch, sometimes I find myself taking long showers in here forgetting the outside world. He pulls me into the shower and he turns it on. He take some soap and lathers himself up and then gently lathers me up as well taking his time around my inner thighs and around my breasts but not quite touching them. He is a damn tease. 

“Put your hands against the wall Katniss and bend your ass towards me.” he says.

I do what he says and he slides his cock behind me on top of my ass rubbing it up and down slowly between my cheeks. With one hand he starts to tweak my left nipple and the other hand is circling my clit with increasing pressure. All three of these sensations combined with the water and the soap is a pleasure I’ve never experienced. I find myself reaching my end quickly and I’m soon pushing back into him, rotating my hips and moaning his name over and over again until my orgasm finally hits me hard and I’m shuttering, my hands slip off the wall and the only way I do not fall is because Peeta has wrapped his arms tightly around me.

I am in a cloudy haze as he turns off the shower pulls me out and he wraps me in a big towel before wrapping one around his hips. I finally come back to myself and he pulls me close and give me a long deep kiss. 

“Let’s get ready Katniss. I want you to put something on comfortable, what you would normally wear in the morning.” I won’t argue with that so I put on my white tank and silk shorts. Peeta puts his clothes back on and I brush my hair and put it in a braid. 

“I like this look better on you. You look beautiful.” Peeta says looking me over.

“Thank you Peeta,” I reply looking down and blushing. I really hate compliments. 

“It makes me want to stay all day with you.” I couldn’t agree more. That man knows all the right buttons to push. 

“Can I ask you something?” I say looking back up at him. “If you bought the total package, why didn’t you want to have sex with me last night? Are you mad at me for finding me here?” 

I see a rush of different emotions pass through his eyes, too quick to catch just one and I look back down again. I wanted to ask him more but that is all the courage I have to say at the moment. 

He walks towards me and cups my face with his hands making me look at him again. “At first I was angry, but I just found you again and I want to take my time with you my little Kat” He says kissing my cheek. 

Does this mean he wants to see me again? “I’ve known you were something special since the day I saw you sing,” he moves to my other cheek. “How I was feeling last night I would have just fucked you, and I don’t want to just fuck you.” He moves down to the corner of my lip, “But I did want to feel you and taste you.” 

Before kissing me full on the mouth, our bodies soon pressed tight together again as I wrap my arms around him, his hands grabbing my ass. 

We finally pull away and turn to exit the bedroom without saying another word. I don’t know what to say. I was right that he was mad at me but did he really think I was special? Our meeting was so short, I thought he just felt sorry for me. I almost don’t want to leave because of the way he made me feel this morning, sexy but at the same time cherished. But this scares me as well and I want to pull away before I get attached to this beautiful intense man. It was easier last night when I was giving a blow job to a man I thought hated me.

When we enter the VIP room mostly everybody is already there talking and getting there breakfast. All the men are in various disheveled state with Mitch and Rye looking the most worse for wear. Senator Mellark looks as neat as ever like he is ready to take the stage and give a speech, even if his eyes are still a little dazed. Joanna will do that to you, he probably won’t know himself until tonight. 

Clove and Marvel enter the room after us and I notice he has a leather collar around his neck. The boys start laughing at him and he turns red and makes a move to remove it. One look from Clove and he puts his hands down and turns to get some food without answering back the jibes. 

Peeta puts his arm around my waist and I look up to see a big smile on his face as he is chatting with Thom and Finnick. It practically lights up the room and I feel robbed by not seeing that sunny smile this entire time. 

“Congratulations for lightening up Peeta.” Finnick says clapping him on the back. “It looks like you had a good time last night by that look on your face. Diana, what did you do to him? It’s only been rumored that he could have a genuine smile, we thought it was myth. Care to demonstrate what you did to bring it?” 

“Shut the fuck up Finnick” Peeta says in a tone that makes me suddenly alarmed as I feel his arm clench on my waist. His previously happy look gone and as he glares at Finnick. 

“Ok! I’m sorry man. I was just kidding.” His hand goes up in mock surrender as he backs away. “Anyway the only one I want to be testing out again is that Annie. She’s amazing,” he says as he walks away passing her and slapping her hard on the ass. She looks over at him trying to look angry but she is also suppressing her grin of amusement. 

“Let’s go get something to eat, I’m starving,” I say rubbing his shoulder. His body starts to relax again and he follows me to the food. 

I really could shoot, skin and grill a horse right now I’m so hungry I forget Effie’s etiquette talk and pile the food on my plate. Peeta raises an eyebrow at me with an amused look on his face and I shrug my shoulders as if to say “What?” I have his money already, who cares if he thinks I’m a pig. 

We sit down across from Joanna and his father and Peeta immediately puts his hand on my knee and he starts to stroke it softly even as he is talking to his father casually. I feel my arousal growing by the minute. I want him to move his hand up, hell I want to put my hands back on him as well. I try to distract myself by shovelling the food in my mouth. 

I look up and Joanna has a look of glee on her face as she watches us. I feel my ears turn red as I look down at my food and I hear her chortle. She knows the closeness I have with Peeta after a session is not my usual M.O. so I am sure she will confront me about it later. 

As we finish up Senator Mellark throws his napkin on his plate and pulls Joanna to him. “Well l believe it is time to go. Joanna, it has been a pleasure meeting you,” he says before giving her a deep kiss and playing with her nipple one last time. She is still only in panties but they are boy shorts so I guess that's modest for her. 

The Senator seems so nice and upstanding in front of the cameras I wonder if anybody would guess the passionate person underneath who feels no guilt in visiting a brothel.

“Boys we have lunch with your mother back at Caesars Palace so we better get going. Peeta, she called me today and wanted to discuss your political future now that my election is taken care of.” says after he is one with Joanna.

His mothers in perfect well tailored clothes with an ugly look of hate immediately pops into my head. Peeta takes his hand off my knee and immediately rises to leave “Yes father,” he says without looking at me. 

I can tell that the warm man I experienced this morning is gone. My heart drops as the cold veneer settles back over him. I don’t know why I care, he’s just another good paying client I try and tell myself.

All the men get up and say their goodbyes to us girls, most involving last minute gropes and kisses. Peeta barely looks at me and doesn't touch me anymore. Effie must have been listening at the door because she immediately enters to thank Senator Mellark for visiting the Kitty Ranch, wishing him a safe trip home and to come visit us again. 

I still haven't caught Peeta’s eye as the men start heading out the door. He finally turns around, walks back, takes my hand in his and kisses it before whispering, “It was a pleasure my Little Kat and I’m sorry.” 

His eyes are wet with unshed tears and I know he is apologizing to me more than just about his current attitude. He then turns away, puts his sunglasses on and doesn’t look back. Even though I am completely confused by his hot and cold moods, this time I don't mind the term of endearment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm walking the grey line of prostitution in this story. The character Katniss may have may faults but what you can say about her is that she is a truly self sacrificing person, doesn't look for handouts and doesn't feel sorry for herself. Shake this all up and add a heavy tablespoon of being emotional stunted and I could see her working at a brothel and not being a victim about it. So I'm not going to write her as one. And isn't it more fun this way instead of getting all depressed about her situation? We've got other sad stories for that.


	6. Headaches and Bouffonts

"I don't know about you girls but I'm going to get me some more of this food," Bristel declares loudly over the chatter that descends after the men leave. 

"I second that Bristel," Joanna replies. "I'm starving. That Senator looked like a harmless thing but he sure was exercising some demons out last night. I was in more positions than I could count. I hope Mellark puts as much energy in politics as he does with sex." 

Everybody starts laughing and the girls pile the food on their plates as they begin swapping stories. We find out that Mitch Mellark can definitely handle two girls at once, Rye gave Madge an out of body experience, Marvel was also wearing a cock ring this morning besides his neck collar and Finnick demonstrated how he could tie a very good knot with some rope play. Now that I look closer, Annie has some distinct red marks on her wrists and collar bone but she can't stop smiling.

As everyone starts to sit down again there are calls from Delly and Madge for some celebratory mimosas. All the girls readily agree and the mood is light. “I’m not sure girls...” Effie starts to say tentatively. 

“Oh common Effie, loosen up that girdle of yours” Haymitch says as he enters in the room. “These girls more than earned it after what they made last night. Snow can’t complain with how they performed.” 

At the talk of money Effie’s face brightens up. “That’s very true. Darius, poor mimosas for the girls and whatever cheap swill is in the back for Haymitch.” She says turning to our day bartender. Haymitch’s reaction is to just sneer at her. 

“Everyone one brought in the maximum amount last night. And I’m so proud of Katniss. She brought in the double her maximum amount. $10,000 with one customer. A best here at the ranch!” she says putting her arm around my shoulder and shaking it.

At that announcement all eyes turn on me like a record has just been scratched. Damnit, I was hoping that by remaining quiet I wouldn’t have any questions coming my way. My conflicted emotions after what I experience with Peeta is too much to think about right now, let alone talk about. 

“Well look at you Sweetheart, turned that frown upside down last night did we?” Haymitch says while getting some food. 

Everyone is waiting for an answer but I just shrug my shoulders and rub the back of my hand that Peeta kissed minutes ago. “Well you know how those rich boys are. Put a few drinks in them and they like to throw money around,” I finally answer lamely. 

Unfortunately Joanna isn't having any of it. "Yeah right Katniss. You two looked like lovebirds this morning I could have barfed. Followed by the kiss on the hand before he left. Who does that? And he had maybe one drink last night. He was the only one cold stone sober." 

“We’ll I don’t know!” I say running my hands through my hair, messing up my braid. “He just wanted to give and receive oral and that was it. End of story.” 

“Well you must have some magic twat there Katniss. Care to parlay to the other girls how we can get one too?” Joanna says before grabbing a Mimosa from Darius. Everyone starts laughing and I can feel my ears start to burn. At least they are satisfied with my answer and they start chatting in groups again. 

Haymitch comes up to me and tells me he wants to see me in his office in 10 minutes before leaving the room with his food and whatever “swill” Darius poured for him. I can’t read his face so I don’t know if I’m in trouble or not. 

I take the opportunity to leave since the girls are distracted and I don’t want anymore questions coming my way. Walking down the empty hallway the chatter from the VIP room becomes a soft murmur, allowing me to hear another sound, the harsh thump of heavy heels moving fast behind me. I am about to turn around to see who it is and then find myself on my hands and knees as two hands shove me roughly from behind. 

“You fucking bitch. I am going to kick your ass for last night.” I turn around to see Glimmer towering above me, her face looks like an evil clown as her layers of makeup can’t hide her features distorted with anger. 

She slaps me hard and I fall back before I have the chance to get up. I swiftly kick at the bottom of her foot and manage to knock her down. Thank god she is wearing those crappy acrylic stilettos. She spits at me so my automatic reaction is to punch her in the face, causing her a bloody nose. Before I know it her knee is on my back and she is grabbing my hair tightly and yanking the back my head. 

“I am going to enjoy every minute of kicking the shit out of you,” she says grinding her knee harder into my back.

Rue comes from behind and tries to pull her off me but she has an iron grip on my hair. “Let her go Glimmer!” she yells. 

Clove then enters the fray and pulls Rue off Glimmer and holds her back. “Are you sure you want to do this princess? You’re going to get in trouble for beating up Diana.” 

“Don’t worry about me, I’m covered. Anyway I’ve been dreaming about this for along time,” she says pulling my hair tight. All I can do is claw at her hand in vain. 

“Well you better get to it before Haymitch gets here.” Clove replies.

“You’re fucking crazy Glimmer,” is all I manage to spit out before she punches me twice in the the back of my head, leaving me momentarily stunned. 

All of a sudden her weight is off me and I manage to turn around to see Joanna has a chokehold on Glimmer and Delly has pulled Clove away from Rue. The other girls are rushing into the hallway as well. 

“What the fuck is your problem Glimmer,” she yells at her while keeping a firm grip around her neck. It’s a pretty impressive sight as she is balancing on five inch heels.

“That bitch stole my client last night. That should have been my $10,000. Instead I had to settle on blowing two cheap ass frat boys.” 

“He never was going to take you last night and you know it.” Rue cuts in as she helps me up. I want to answer back too but my head is spinning and I can’t seem to focus. 

Rue’s reply just enrages her further and she almost breaks free from Joanna. Clove isn’t putting much of a fight and Delly just holds her back lightly. I can hear Effie’s fruitless calls of “Girls stop it this instantly!” in the background. 

“What the hell is going on!” Haymitch bellows as he walks into the fray. All the girls are instantly quiet and turn to him but then they all start explaining at once what is going on. I just lean into Rue’s firm hold on me as my head slowly starts to clear. 

“Everyone shut up. You...” as he points to Clove “Explain this instantly.” 

“Glimmer is pissed at Katniss for stealing Peeta Mellark at last nights VIP party and is looking for reparations,” she says without any sign of emotion. 

“And she punched Katniss in the back of the head!” Madge yells from the back. 

“Glimmer, this is your last warning. Sucking Snow’s dick will protect you from being fired for so long before he gets tired of you. Another incident like this and I will get you kicked out of here. Effie, take her to her room now and make sure she stays there. Then I want you to clear her calendar for two weeks. I want to see if you have cooled off by then.” 

He walks over to me and puts an arm gently around my waist and starts escorting me to my room. “Rue, go get some ice for Katniss. And the next person who starts a fight, verbal or physical will be fired on the spot. Let the other girls know that too. Now get back to your rooms, I’m sure there is sleep you all have to catch up on.” 

“What about my mimosa?” Delly whines before being pushed to her room by Madge. “Feeling the love Delly!” I answer back as Haymitch leads me away.

“Well shoot, I didn’t think you cared Haymitch.” I tell him as he helps me into bed and puts the covers over me. 

“Well don’t start any rumors or anything. I don’t want to get a reputation”. He says with a little glimmer in his eyes. “Get some rest and I’ll talk to you later.” 

“Thanks boss” I reply weakly as he exits my room muttering to himself, “I need another damn drink already and it’s only 10 am. Girls are going to kill my liver.” 

Shortly after Rue enters with the pack of ice and just in time because the hazy feeling has quickly been replaced by a throbbing headache. Damn Glimmer, I’m not one for fighting but I’m seriously reconsidering my position on it right now. 

“Here is the ice Katniss, advil for your head and a muscle relaxant to feel good,” she says giving me some water and pills than crawling into the bed behind me. She snuggles in like a little cat and holds the ice pack to the back of my head. 

Her actions remind me so much of Prim right now it makes me miss home. Thank god I will be going back in a few days. “Thanks Rue, that feels so good.” 

“That plastic barbie doll is missing a few screws, she should have been fired for punching you. I can’t believe Snow likes her mouth so much he keeps her around.” She replies, pressing the ice firmer and rubbing my back. 

“The funny thing is that I was all for Mr. Mellark picking Glimmer. I don't like to fool around with people who know my real name." I say, feeling the effects of the muscle relaxant take hold.

"How do you know him anyway? There was something going on between you two since he entered the room. I know you’ve recognized a couple of your other clients before but this one rattled you. So what’s the story?"

"It's no big deal really. I don't really know him. I met him once when I was almost 16, a year after my father died. Mom was already addicted to her prescription meds and had stopped working so the settlement money from dad’s death was gone. We were starving and I couldn’t get a job that would pay enough because I was too young. 

We were even close to being evicted from our apartment so I started singing around LA to get some money. I was performing at Farmers Market when he came by. He stopped and stared at me the entire time I sang. When I took a break he asked my name and we started a conversation. He was sweet and looked really interested in my music. I wasn’t very comfortable talking so he encouraged me to start singing again. 

Eventually his mother came by with her bodyguard and told them they were late for their lunch reservations. He followed her but ran back, threw some money in my guitar case, kissed my hand like you saw this morning and left. When I picked up the collection it ended up being over $2000. I tried to find him to give it back...” I can’t continue for a moment as I break out into a sob, trying in vain to control the tears. 

“You don’t have to continue if you don’t want to,” Rue says as I try to compose myself. 

“No, I’m okay.” I guess a concussion combined with a muscle relaxant equals confession time for me. I didn’t mean to reveal so much. Nobody really knows my past, hell all the girls never really talk much about where they came from either, but it felt good telling Rue. 

I take a shaky breath and start again, “I found him sitting at an outdoor cafe with his mother. I walked up to the low gate surrounding the patio and tried to get his attention. His mother turned around, looked at me and said ‘See Peeta, this is what you get for being nice to the street trash. Now she’s here for some more freebies.’ 

He started to protest as I stood there stunned by her words but she screamed ‘Enough!’ She crashed her wine glass against the table she was so livid. It hit another glass and they shattered, sending glass flying everywhere. One hit Peeta on the temple and caused him to bleed. A waiter immediately rushed up to help him out.

This did not stop her though, ‘I don’t want to hear it anymore. She’s probably looking for drug money. She is a loser and will always be one. Cray, get her out of my site before I lose my appetite.’ People were stopping and staring at the scene we were making. The maitre d’ started apologizing to her profusely and her bodyguard made a move to grab my arm so I just ran for it.” 

My hand grips the pillow tightly at the thought. “I was so humiliated. He must have thought I was completely pathetic to give me that amount of money to me and then to be treated like that by his awful mother. I never told anyone what happened that day before you.”

“Girl, if anyone understands I do. I have been pushed down a lot in my life, if it was from my stepdad or the people who looked down on me when I was hooking on the street. People stop seeing us as humans with feelings you know? I don’t get it. We’re just trying to survive like everyone else.” 

“I don’t know either Rue. I guess Mr. Mellark saw me as human even if it was a pathetic one, so that’s something,” I say trying unsuccessfully to be positive.

“Well maybe he gave you that money because he just liked your music?” she replies. I just scoff at the notion. She takes the ice pack off and sets it aside to continue rubbing my back. 

“I don’t know why he gave me so much but he saved me. He saved us. I was able to pay rent and buy food. A few weeks later I turned 16 and I dropped out of school and took double waitressing shifts, one at Aunt Sae's diner. Then Effie & Haymitch reaped me at one of my shifts when I was 18. Haymitch had caught me giving a blow job to a customer during my break behind the diner one day, critiqued my technique and then offered this wonderful opportunity,” I say with a humorless chuckle. 

“I’ve been here at the Kitty Ranch ever since. 4 years and counting. I’m grateful for what Mr. Mellark did but I've tried to push the memory of that boy who saved me away. I hate that I was never able to repay him and the feeling of that humiliation by his mother is just too much."

I’m overwhelmed by the past and I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” “So how was he last night?” she asks, can’t helping her curiousity. I just shrug not wanting to admit how much I enjoyed myself. 

“I don’t know. The oral he gave was incredible but he was sort of intense. Commanding. Different from the boy I met. He had an easy smile as he talked and kind eyes back then, not the “Mr Charming” you see on TV now and not the angry man I met last night. I wonder what happened to him.”

“Well Kat you did him a bit of good by what I saw of him this morning. Or as Joanna would put it, you must have a ‘magic twat’.” she says giving a little giggle.

“I think it’s Joanna with the magic twat. Did you see the Senator this morning? It looked like she did some voodoo on him and he was her zombie slave.” We both start to laugh and then I cringe as my head throbs again. 

“Well I’ll leave you to rest Kat,” she says as she stops massaging my shoulders and starts to get up. 

“Rue, can you stay here a little longer? It reminds me of being with Prim when we were kids.” I say, turning around to face her.

“Sure, I miss my brothers and sisters too,” she replies, a small smile on her face as she snuggles back into the bed. Soon I am out, no nightmares of fires, Prim starving or girlfights but dreams of Peeta’s strong arms encasing me.  
\----------------------

“Shit. What time is it?” Rue jumps up suddenly looking around for a clock. 

“I don’t know,” I say, my voice muffled in a pillow since I don’t bother to pick up my head. “I think it’s oneish? Twoish?” 

“Mr. Everett is coming at 2:30 to have a threesome with me and Delly. I need to get ready.” Rue says her voice rising in alarm.

“Well you better hop to it, you don’t want to leave Mr. Everett with a twosome. That would be just traumatic for him,” I say laughing at the concern in her voice. 

“This sleepover has been fun Katniss. We should do it again, next time with bad movies and popcorn and less ice bags against punched heads.” 

“Ha ha ha Rue. Well go and make yourself presentable for your little vanilla chocolate swirl you’ll be doing this afternoon.” I say wiggling my fingers at her. She waves me goodbye and is out the door. 

I turn over and stare at the ceiling for a while trying to figure out what I should do with myself. I don’t know why I’m looking up. The ceiling is completely covered by a mirror, gold flecks running through it. It’s so tacky. I just don’t get why men have to look at themselves while having sex. Most of the time they get distracted looking at themselves and then it’s just bad. Right now all I see when I look up is a woman who is too skinny, hair needs to be rebraided and hasn’t had enough sleep. 

I feel the back of my head and it’s a little sore but feeling much better so I decide I might as well get up and see if I have anybody booked for tonight. I tenderly raise out my bed, put on a robe and go to Effie’s office on slightly wobbly legs. 

Her desk is in the front of the building with an open counter facing the main door giving customers and staff an easy access for questions and transactions. She’s not at her desk so I swing to Haymitch’s office to find her. Not bothering to knock I swing his door open just to quickly shut it again. It was only two seconds but I distinctly saw Effie on her knees, her perfect blonde bouffant distorted by Haymitch’s hands grabbing her head as she was bobbing up and down between his legs. I should have knocked. God I should have knocked.

I rub my eyes, trying to will the image away and hear a groan, shit!, tiny cough and rustle of clothes before deciding to knock again. “Come in Sweetheart, I know it was you who barged in my office and disturbed our meeting. Next time you’ll learn to knock.” 

There is an exchange of red faces and embarrassed looks between Effie and I as she rushes by me. “Wait, Effie I was going to ask you something,” I call to her, but she is already around the corner. 

“Close the door Katniss I need to talk to you.” Right, between the food, punch to the head and nap I forgot Haymitch wanted to talk to me today. 

“What’s up Haymitch?” I ask closing the door behind me.

“Snow’s good for nothing nephew is coming tomorrow.” Shit. 

“I didn’t know we had some new girls the self proclaimed ‘Whore Tamer’ needed to break?” I reply trying my best to look unphased. 

“No we don’t Katniss. He’s coming here for you. What the hell happened last time he was here? He is out to fuck you.” he says crossing his arms, staring me down as he leans against his desk.

“I sorta kinda said that he’s lucky he gets us for free because no girl would sleep with him even if he paid.” I say looking down biting my fingernails. “And I kinda sorta said he was the worse lay I’ve ever had and he made this job easier because there was no place to go but up after him.” 

I wasn’t lying when I said it too. Stupid Cato, spoiled nephew of the Kitty Ranch owner. Snow lets him be the the trial by fire every girl has to go through in order to get the job. He never pays for the girls “privilege” of his testing them. He left me sore and degraded on my first day on the job and no client since then has been as bad as him. 

“Now you’ve been lucky that you’re so in demand that Snow won’t let him have another go with you during his visits, but he is really out for you this time. He wants to even pay for your time.” 

“But Haymitch...” He waves me off and grabs his flask. 

“No buts Katniss. He’s not getting you if I can help it. I told him that you were out of town and wouldn’t be back so you got off this time. I assigned Clove to whip him into shape so hopefully he’ll be calmer the next time he comes around. I need you to be out on your break by tomorrow morning. Effie is canceling your appointments for the rest of this week. I’ll see you in 11 days okay?” 

Haymitch My Liver is Almost Dead Abernathy has saved my butt twice today. Maybe he actually does care. “Thanks so much Haymitch, I appreciate it.” I finally answer when I get over the shock.

“No thank yous. Cato cockblocked and sore from a session with Clove is good enough for me.” Haymitch hates that bastard more than anybody. “Say hi to Sae for me and tell her I want some of that lasagna she makes. Now get out of here and see Effie on the details about your appointment for tonight.” As I run out the door he yells out “And no more talking back to Cato. This is the last time I save your sorry ass!” 

I find Effie back at her desk chipper and acting like she didn’t just have Haymitch’s dick in her mouth. Is that why she is so chipper all the time? Okay, I don’t need to go there. She informs me I have an eight p.m. appointment that will last two hours with a Mr. Hamilton. Crane recommended me as “the best lay west of the Mississippi.” He wants to meet me at the bar and I need to wear a slinky black dress. 

In my four years of experience I can categorize men in five categories: First, rich men who know they can buy anybody, so the do; second, men looking for a quick fuck who want to get down to business right away; third, cheap twentysomething men coming or going from Vegas looking for the “experience”; fourth, men with suppressed sexual fantasies of every variety; and lastly, men like Hamilton who want to pretend you are an easy date they meet at a bar. It makes them feel better, makes them feel like they are wooing you, not paying for you. It means I have to be nice and act like I’m on a date, like he is the most wonderful man in the world. I like the second option the best. 

It’s nine o’clock and I find myself back in my bed, on my back as Mr. Hamilton moves over me. I did my job at the bar, I acted shy and sweet, touching his thigh and laughing at his jokes and now he is gripping my face while thrusting into me. His movements become frantic and I clutch shoulders that are smaller than those I clutched this morning. I say his name like I want him. He likes my loud moans and he tries to kiss me with passion, a passion I do not feel. He comes calling out “Diana” and collapses on me, head nuzzling and kissing my shoulder. I run my hands through his greying straight brown hair thinking of how fine curly blonde hair feels beneath my fingers. He gives me a dazed happy smile and I smile back thinking of a smile that is more beautiful than the sun. He kisses me one more time and gets up to leave thanking me for a wonderful time. 

I know I did my job and he is happy, that is enough for now. Tomorrow I go home and I can forget that I work at a brothel. Hopefully I can forget those deep blue eyes too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope this chapter starts answering a lot of questions you may have. Peeta won't show up for another chapter but you will see Katniss' home life. This story is become more detailed then when I started it so I will start using a Beta. I do have an outline and an endgame. Thank you again for your comments!
> 
> p.s. The link to the real Farmer's Market in L.A.: http://www.farmersmarketla.com/
> 
> It is an amazing place everyone should visit when there are in Los Angeles


	7. Homecoming

“Hey Brainless, word on the street is you’re out of here today.” I hear Joanna say as I finish up packing, not bothering to turn around.

“Yup,” I say with a pop as I stuff my bra in my duffle bag and zip it up. “I’m leaving in a few minutes. Do you need anything before I leave?” I turn around to see Joanna leaning against my door. She actually has a black tight hoody to match her thong panties today. She must be cold. 

“No, just a fucking reason why you would be such an idiot as to get Cato pissed at you.” Joanna says walking into my room. 

“Look,” I say quickly swinging my bag over my shoulder. “He had the new girl Brittney in tears after her ‘trial’. She came crying to me and then he sauntered in like he was the biggest shit all laughing at her performance. I just lost it ok?” 

“Well keep your mouth shut next time. We like your pretty face too much to see it messed up. I’m glad Haymitch was able to save your ass on this one. Now bring it in, I'm going to miss my crazy comadre,” she says opening her arms wide.

“Well jeez Joanna I’m only gone for around 10 days,” I reply, slowly walking towards her, head down like a scolded child, She gives me a big bear hug, lifting me bag and all. 

“Alright, alright, enough of that. I know you want me but you can’t have me.” I say with a wink. “I’ll see you soon.” 

“Sure thing. Say hi to the runt for me and bring back some lasagna from Sae," she says. 

You think her lasagna was crack how much the Kitty Ranch crew loves that dish. I assure her I will bring some back and rush out the door. It’s can be up to five hours to drive to the house in L.A. and I want to be back before Prim gets out of school. 

The morning is crisp and clear and I feel lighter the closer I get to my dad’s old Jeep Cherokee. I can't help but break out in a smile when I think that I will see Prim soon. It’s her last year of highschool and I've missed so much. At least I know Sae takes good care of her while I’m at the ranch. I throw my bag in the back seat, hop in and soon I’m on the road back to the house. 

Time flies by as I’m driving. It’s feels good to be on the road by myself. I can leave all the worries and frustrations behind a bit as I just drive and sing along to my music. In no time I am entering the little L.A. suburb Eagle Rock and I’m pulling up to Aunt Sae’s Diner, an old place opened in the 70's and it still has practically the same decor. The place may be old but the food is fresh and delicious.

Sae’s diner was my first full time job when I turned sixteen. She has looked after my sister and I since I started working for her. She considers all her staff her kids, as she has none herself, and she took especially to me. When she discovered me crying over another eviction notice in the back freezer, she welcomed us to her home. Even my lump of a mother who spent all day sleeping or visiting her “doctor” for more of her prescription meds was welcome. I insisted that Prim and I would repay her by doing all the chores in the house and helping with the bills.

The bell tingles as I open the door and Sae looks up from behind the counter filling some ketchup bottles. “Baby girl! You’re home early. Come hear and give old Sae a hug," she says in that warm gruff voice of hers. 

Before I can take two steps she has come around the counter and I am enveloped in her warm embrace and ample bosom. She has to be in her 70’s now but she always has a young gleam in her eye and she hasn’t slowed down one bit since the day I’ve met her.

“What happened to your cheek?” She says turning my face to take a better look. “Was it one of your men?” she whispers as she looks around to see if anybody heard her. 

“No Sae. Just one of the crazy girls I work with. So how’s business going?” I say trying to steer away from the subject. 

“Real good, I had to take on new staff. It'd be much better if you were serving. My kids don’t have the work ethic you did. But all those youngsters in their crazy get-ups moving to the neighborhood are coming in for the food now so I have no complaints," she replies.

For a long time she has struggled to keep her diner open, only the old ladies and men coming in for their noontime lunch and gossip, but the recent influx of hipsters to the neighborhood appreciating the kitsche of the diner means that it's thriving.

“Is that little Katniss?” a customer turns around to look up at me. 

“Hey Mr. Beetee, it’s been a long time since I’ve been here. How’s Wiress doing?” as I move down to give him a hug too. 

“Oh you know, it’s going okay. Wiress is doing okay. Sometimes she knows me and sometimes she doesn’t but as long as she has something to fix she’s happy," Mr. Beetee says with a shrug.

“Well let her know I say hello.” 

“I certainly will Kat, and don't be a stranger around here. We all miss you.” he says with a warm smile on his face.

“Who’s this Sae, I need an introduction.” A huge serious looking military looking man with salt and peppered close cropped hair and a stealy gaze comes out of the kitchen.

“Oh Boggs this is my baby girl Katniss. She used to work here around 4 years ago when she was just a little thing. I take care of her sister now, little Prim, looked after her too before she moved on. Kat, this is Boggs," she says proudly patting him on the shoulder "He just started working here two weeks ago and practically running the kitchen now. Runs a tight ship too, he’s keepin’ all those kids in line back there.” she says pulling his arm towards me.

I shake his hand and he gives a warm smile that totally breaks apart the intimidating look he had before. “It's nice to meet. Sae takes good care of you does she?” he asks.

“Yes she does,” I say with a big smile, putting my arm around her. “She’s been there for some rough times and showed me what good people look like. And now I won’t ever let her go.” I say giving her a big kiss on the cheek.

“I won’t let you go either child," she says patting my cheek. "Okay everyone I’m taking the rest of the day off. Don’t let this place burn down while I’m gone.” 

“Yes ma’am” Boggs replies with a salute before heading back into the kitchen. 

“Let’s take the jeep,” I tell Sae when we leave the diner. 

“You still have that clunker? When are you going to get a new one? Especially with all the driving you do back and forth to Nevada. You can afford it now," she says looking at my poor beat up Jeep. I can’t help but roll my eyes. 

“I’m staying with Ol' Faithful to the end," I say patting the hood. "Why waste money? I'll take it to Gale's shop to get it checked while I'm here if you're worried. And like you’re one to talk Sae. Are you still driving that boat of yours, the Oldsmobile? Should you even still be driving?” I say knowing this will rile her up.

She gives me that mama look that stops me in my tracks. “I drive just fine and I’m not letting Prim touch my car, she still got a lot of learning to do poor child can't even pass a drivers test. So never mind me. You are the one that needs to be safe," she says opening the door and heaving herself up into the seat.

“Yes Sae,” I say backing down. There is no use ever arguing with her, she will always win. 

“Alright let’s go surprise Prim. She should be getting out soon right?” I ask as I start my car and head towards the high school. 

“Yes she is and she’s got a surprise for you too that she’s been dying to tell you in person.” I turn and raise an eyebrow only to get her shaking her head at me. 

“Now I won’t let the cat out of the bag. She can’t wait to tell you herself."

Sae loves to tease me with clues of things to come because she knows how impatient I am. By the time I get to the school I am tapping the wheel roughly and honking the horn at every slow car in front of me. Sae just looks over with an innocent smile on her face. 

I pull into the front of the school, get out the car and look around at all the teeming students until I see her bright blonde head a little taller than the rest weaving through the crowd as she holds Rory Hawthorne's hand. She finally sees me and breaks away from Rory running for me at full tilt. 

"Katniss!" I try to brace myself when she hits me with her patented hard hugs. "Your home early. I'm so happy to see you, I have so much to tell you," she says barely drawing a breath. 

"I'm happy to see you too Little Duck" I say smoothing her hair down. "Let’s head home and grab some pizza and catch up on all your gossip when I was gone. Rory do you need a ride?" I ask her boyfriend who has just caught up to us. 

I love Rory because he balances Prim out. He is the calm to her bubbly energy and he cares for her deeply. It helps that he has all the best qualities of his brother Gale, my best friend, including the dark haired good looks and the unwavering loyalty. He does not have the fire of Gale though, the complete opposite actually. Rory is quiet, cool and patient. I've never seen him move faster than a stroll unless he is on the football field and then he is as quick as lightning. 

"Thanks Katniss that would be great. I hope it's not any trouble." He replies taking back Prim's hand. 

"No, it's not. I want to say hi to the rest of your clan anyway."

We all pile back in the SUV with Prim & Rory in the back. "Guess what Kat, we have such great news!" We? Please let it not be a pregnancy. Please let it not be an engagement. 

"We've been nominated for the Homecoming court!" she says before I can even guess. I need to stop jumping to crazy conclusions, she’s a good girl unlike me. 

"Now I knew Rory was going to make it since he is a football player but I'm just the school president. Katniss I have to find something to wear, I'm going to be in front of everybody,” she continues leaning forward grabbing the back of my seat. “Will you go shopping with me?" 

“That such good news Prim. Of course I would love to shop with you and I know just the place to go. I'll make an appointment for next Saturday at my friend's boutique. He won’t have anything availability this weekend since it’s such short notice." Prim squeals at my offer. "So when is homecoming?” I ask, Sae and I exchange smiles at her response, feeling Prim's infectious happiness.

“It’s the third Friday of next month. Will you be able to go?” My smile gets wider when she tells me. I work the first 3 weeks of the month with the last one coming home so I will be able to attend if I clear the day with Effie and leave early. 

“Most definitely Little Duck and I will be cheering the both of you from the sidelines during the game.” 

In no time we are at the Hawthorne's house. It is a tiny one story off-white stucco'd home. Hazelle has managed to not only fit all her kids there but it is always neat, warm and welcoming. When Rory opens the door Hazelle's youngest, 10 year old Posy is there and gives me a big hug before yelling "Mom! Katniss is back!"

"Katniss, well this is a pleasant surprise" Hazelle says entering from the kitchen. "Gale will be so happy to see you. He's coming over for dinner so he should be here soon. Vick's with him too, been helping Gale at the mechanic's shop." 

I met Gale when I started working for Sae where he worked as one of the short order cooks. We had an instant bond over having to support our families. His dad had abandoned Hazelle with four kids to take care of and Gale had to pick up the pieces. By the time I turned eighteen Gale and I were so close we practically spent every day with each other. He wanted to date me and we fooled around a lot but once I started working at the brothel I pushed all thoughts of having a boyfriend aside. We could have some massive fights over any time he didn't agree with choices I made so I knew he would never understand if he found out I'm a prostitute. I told him I didn't have time to have a boyfriend and he's tried to accept that but I know it's hard for him. 

Sae and I catch up with Hazelle and Posy while Prim goes to study in the dining room with Rory. Soon I hear a truck door slam signalling that Gale and Vick are home. I run outside and my friend's face goes from tired to happy the moment he sees me. I am swept in a big hug which we both communicate how much we missed each other. We didn't see each other the last time I was in town and visits never seem complete without him there.

There is a general consensus to have dinner together so Sae and Hazelle start cooking while Gale and I go to the market for extra ingredients and catch up time. 

“So Catnip, how’s life as pharma girl treating you?” he says as we jump into his truck. 

“Excuse me, I’m a Pharmaceutical Excecutive. And it is going just fine thank you very much. Same ol’ selling my goods for money around the country.” He smirks and puts his hand on my leg as he drives with one hand. 

“Well pardon me Miss Everdeen. Can’t be that good with that faint bruise I see on your cheek. What happened? Steal one of your coworkers accounts and she slapped you?” I can’t help but laugh out loud at the unintended accuracy of his statement. 

I cross my legs to the right, shifting them so they are a little too far for him to touch, “Spot on Hawthorne. I can’t help that I’m better at my job than some of the other girls. How about you? How’s life as a business owner?”

Gale just shrugs cooly, “Pretty good actually. Business has been increasing and I should be able pay the rest I owe you by the end of this year. I was thinking of taking the guys out to celebrate, maybe even spring for Vegas. You should come too.” 

“That’s wonderful Gale! Not me getting money part, but the business succeeding part obviously.” I say touching his arm. 

Gale has worked so hard, taking a shift at Sae’s and at Kearney’s Mechanic Shop. Two years ago the owner decided to sell and Gale grabbed the opportunity. He took out loans from the bank but was still a little short so I loaned him the rest, although I had to strong arm him into taking the money. It makes everything I've done worth it when I see the people I care about succeed. 

We pull into the parking lot and Gale hops out quickly and is at my door before I even have a chance to get out my purse. He opens the door but does not make a move to clear a space for me as I step out. 

“So anyone in your life Katniss?” he says trapping me between his arms. 

“Gale...” I reply leaning back against the truck, not knowing what to say past that. 

“I know you are to busy and you are barely in town anymore but I wanted to see when that window will open again.” He says leaning closer to me. 

I put my hand on his chest pushing him back slightly, “You know I care about you Gale. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.” 

He puts his hand over the one still pressed against his chest and then leans close again and kisses me on the forehead. 

“Yeah, I know Katniss. We just fit together, it feels right with you.” He says, pulling back and rubbing his temple, then looking up. “Just think about it okay?” 

I just nod my head in assent, not knowing which words would be safe. He's right, we do fit together but I don't know if I want us to. “Now I think it’s been too long since I’ve pushed you in one of these carts," he says ready to let go and knowing my nod is the best he'll get.

Gale swoops me over his shoulder, slams the car door with his foot and makes a sprint to the nearest cart and dumps me inside. I’m laughing so hard I can barely breath. He runs and spins the cart until we get to the market and I jump out once we get a look from one of the market staff. 

The rest of the night was spent pleasantly if not eventfully. Hazelle and Sae put together a massive spread including roast beef, salad, grilled asparagus and an apple pie for dessert. Soon enough Prim, Sae and I were waddling back to our car to head back home. 

When we make the short trip back to Sae's house we find all the lights are off but that is no guarantee that my mom was not home. I put my things in the bedroom I share with Prim before deciding to see if she is here. When I knock I am answered with a weak “Come in.” Oh joy.

“Hi Mom, I’m back from work and I’ll be in town for ten days.” I say turning on the light.

"Oh Katniss. Come in, but turn off that light, I have a headache.” she says in her light feathery voice. She's lying in her bed and doesn't get up. 

Despite my mom's drug habit and depression she still looks so beautiful with her milk white skin and blonde hair just like Prim's. Sometimes I wish she were uglier, that she didn't remind me of the mother who is no longer there. 

“So how are you mom, keeping busy?” I ask waking into the room and ignoring the request. I'll be damned if I talk to her in the dark.

“Oh yes, I putter around the house and help out Sae. Can you give me a glass of water?" I can tell I don't have her attention today. The sooner I end this conversation the better.

I leave the room to go get her a glass. When I return she takes my hand that is holding it. "I wanted you to know I meet someone." Her eyes look up at me unfocused but dreamy.

I pull away, plopping the glass down hard. I cross my arms, unhappy to hear of this new development, “Mom, I don’t trust the choices you make in the men you date. Tell me you’re not bringing him to the house when Prim is home.” 

Unfortunately men recognize my mom's beauty and there has been a lot of yelling and bruises in the past. Only Sae's interference keeps them from coming around too much. 

“Dont tell me what to do, I'm the mother not you. And he is a great one. He makes lots of money and wants to provide for all of us. He is our answer. He wants to meet you girls too.” 

Now I'm really pissed, “Mom I provide for all of us. You don’t need a man for that.” 

She just waves me off. “You’ll see Katniss, he’s going to change our lives. Now I’m going to take some of my pills and take a nap. I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you Katniss. Don't forget to turn off the light," she says already grabbing at her bottles. 

I leave promptly not answering her back, knowing nothing has changed. She hasn’t bothered to ask how Prim and I are doing and I’m sure she is bringing an element of bad into our lives again with this new man of hers. 

After the first day the rest of my time in LA just flies by. I take a morning shift at Sae’s because I am uncomfortable not being busy or helping out in some way. I get to know Boggs and I quickly find out that he is a good man. Since he started at the diner he escorts Sae to her car every evening to make sure she is safe. It’s reassuring someone is looking out for her. 

Every night Prim is home to hang out with me. I don’t have to ask her if she misses me because she never skips one evening with me on the weeks I am home, no matter what her friends are doing. Fridays are our movie night. We snuggle underneath a blanket on the couch, Prim’s head on my shoulder and we eat pizza and junkfood, staying up to three am watching our guilty pleasures. Sae goes to her room early to give us our sister time. Mom is out all evening usually and goes directly too her room when she comes in only giving us a passing hello. 

“Katniss, sweetie, it is so good to see you. Is this your sister you’ve talked about so much?” is the warm greeting I get as we enter in the door of Designs by Cinna. 

It is my last day in LA and I am spending it dress shopping for Prim's homecoming, an act my mother finds too taxing. Prim gave her bravest smile when our mom said she wasn't going to make it and Sae was there with the hug and assurance that a momma would be representing when Prim couldn't hold the tears.

Cinna is an up and coming designer who owns a boutique in Melrose with his wife Portia who handles the business end for him. He always calls me his "muse" and he would be offended if I went to anyone else for Prim's dress.

Cinna strides towards me wearing a simple dark blue shirt, perfectly fitting dark blue jeans and brown leather shoes. His hair a perfectly close trimmed afro. The only adornments are his gold eyeliner, a gold hoop in his ear and gold rings in his fingers. 

"Hi Cinna,” I say giving him a hug. “Yes, this is my sister, the soon to be Homecoming queen we hope and my Aunt Sae.” 

"Well it’s good to meet you both,” giving each a hug.

“Where’s Portia?” I say running my fingers through a beautiful silver dress. 

"She’s in Vegas right now setting up a show for some potential funders. I’ll be up there next week.”

"That’s wonderful Cinna. You’ll have to call me and tell me how it goes.” I answer not quite looking up at him as I pick another dress to look at.

“Well Prim, it’s time to find you your gowns. I inserted a plural there because I think you need one dress for the game and one for the dance. So even if you lose, girls will still be envious. And I will only charge for one dress.” Cinna says turning to me. 

“No arguments Katniss.” he says as I try to protest. Prim is so ecstatic I can’t say no.

Sae and I soon settle in two lounge chairs while Cinna takes her back with a pile of dresses in his hand. Sae takes the opportunity to ask me how I really am doing before I go back. “Baby girl, I am worried about you. You seem preoccupied this trip. Are those men treating you alright? You can tell me.” 

“No I’m okay Sae, don’t worry about me,” I say taking her weathered hand in my own. 

“Anyway, you have to worry more about the women than the men,” I add rubbing the back of my still slightly tender head. 

"Maybe it’s time you got out of this business, while you’re still young.” I look away, it’s hard to see the concern in her eyes. 

“I am just not good at much Sae and I guess I’m good at this. It gives me more than triple what I’d normally make without having a high school education." 

I turn my head back to her and I can't help but plead. "Prim wants to go to Stanford in the fall, she wants to become a doctor. How would I pay for all that otherwise? It’s not easy but I would do this all over again in a heartbeat to give her what she wants. Someone in our family deserves to be happy and provided for,” I say looking down again. 

“And thank you Sae for being there for her when I’m not. I don’t know what we would do without you.” 

“You’re welcome child." She cups my face gently in her hand turning my head towards her. "I love you and I support you whatever your decision is. Lord knows I can’t judge the hard decisions you’ve had to make to keep your family going. But don't think you don’t deserve to be happy too. And I know the best will come for you after all you've sacrificed for that sweet girl.” She says as she kisses me on the forehead, tears slipping from both our eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” Prim asks as she comes out in a sweet little pink A-line dress. 

“Oh it’s nothing,” I say wiping my eyes. “You are just growing up so fast. I can’t believe you are graduating this year.” 

“Ahh mom! No tears!” She says joking but this sentiment only starts me off in another fit of tears and she comes to give me a big hug. Sae wraps her arms around both us and we stay there for a minute before we all start to laugh. 

Prim starts twirling in her dress to show it off when my phone rings and I see that it’s Effie. Then it hits me, I will be back in Nevada tomorrow and I don’t know if I’m ready. I step out of the boutique when Prim goes back in the dressing so that I can call Effie back. She lets me know I have a full schedule for the week and not to be late. 

“Oh and that lovely young man Mr. Mellark is coming back on Friday. You must have left an impression for him to be back so soon. So lovely,” before she continues to prattle off the names of my other clients. I have stopped listening. My world feels like it has turned on it's axis and the only way to get it straight back again is to go back to the Kitty Ranch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter Peeta will make his appearance again and should be involved here on out in the story.


	8. The Origin of Love

I would be relieved that I’m off the road and back at The Kitty Ranch if the door wasn’t posing such a problem right now in allowing me entrance to my final destination. I try in vain to pull it open when they buzz me in but it keeps swinging shut. This may possibly be caused by own stubbornness but I chose to blame the door instead and kick and curse at it mocks.

Usually I have no problem with the door, I'm not a weak person even if I'm petite, but currently I have two very heavy trays of lasagna plus my bag preventing me from getting the right leverage. Damn my impatience for not making two trips. The door swings open suddenly almost knocking the trays out of my hand and Darius comes out laughing at me. 

“The girls saw you through the window. They were taking bets on how long it would take you to open the door but then they realized they were hungry and you wouldn’t be getting in anytime soon.” he says holding my arm before I fall over. 

“Bitches can make there own lasagna from now on if they are just going to use me as entertainment.” I say as I plop the heavy trays into Darius’ outstretched hands. Delly is watching me from Effie's desk and gives me a little wave, acting all innocent. Madge, Joanna, Rue, Bristel and Annie are all crammed at the front lounge doorway laughing their asses off. 

I chose to ignore them and walk to my room. I hear Joanna yelling, "It's about time you got back with my lasagna!"

“So do I get any special thanks for helping you?” Darius says wiggling his red eyebrows, keeping in step with me.

"One kiss and that's it,” I reply as I stop, go on my tippy toes and give him a quick peck on the lips.

"Now go put that lasagna in the oven at 375° for 45 minutes." I say continuing to walk down the hall.

“It was worth it!” I hear him yell as I enter my room. 

Once I've settled in I head to Haymitch's office to let him know I'm here. I have learned my lesson and I am about to knock when I hear Effie and Haymitch arguing.

"Snow can blow me! He has to fucking stay out our business." he says as I hear the bang of his fist against his desk. 

"Haymitch, calm down. This is his business, and this is what he wants." I hear her reply.

"Well you can blow me too for all I care if you side with him. Oh wait, you already did." With that I am almost knocked over by a second door in a span of 15 minutes as Effie pushes past me. She looks up last minute with startled red eyes, before she looks down and continues without saying anything.

"What the hell was that about," I ask Haymitch as I enter. Haymitch is leaning against his desk, taking big gulps of whatever is in his flask. "And I was going to knock."

Haymitch finally puts his flask down and slumps his shoulders in defeat. "Great, like I don't have enough to deal with, now you’re back to be a pain in my ass. What do you want sweetheart."

"Well I was coming just to check in with you but now I want to know what that fight was about." I say crossing my arms. "And don't say it's none of my business because if the two of you are fighting about Snow, then it has do with me too."

"Snow wants to set ridiculously high quotas on you girls to fund his dwindling piggy bank," he says rubbing his knuckle like he wants to hit something again. 

"So basically different day, same problems." I say. He snorts and lifts his shoulders a bit. 

"Pretty much. Leave me to deal with him, I'm done with his shit. Just do your normal thing and I'll figure out the rest." 

"Sure thing boss. Oh and I brought Sae’s lasagna. I'll save you a piece if you apologize to Effie." I say and a flash of guilt passes over his face.

"Yeah yeah, I'll apologize. Now get out of here. I need to get stuff done and you’re taking up space." With that I am pushed out the door and it is slammed behind me.

Well this week is starting off splendid. I make my way to the back kitchen and private lounge where my girls have recovered from laughing at me and are waiting anxiously for the food. They all give a warm welcome and Rue hops towards me asking when it will be ready. 

"Soon enough. You think they didn't feed you at all when I was away." I say grinning at them. Besides bringing the lasagna, I coordinate and cook a lot of the food that the girls eat. I like to tease them that it's because it's easier to make everyone food then to have them steal from me.

"Well you know you burn a lot of calories in this business." Rue replies very seriously. The other girls start laughing and agreeing with her. Once the food is ready with some sides thrown together we settle to our meal, catching up on the goings on and gossiping about any interesting clients. 

The happiness I feel being with my friends doesn't last with Madge's next bit of news. "So Glimmer got out of being kicked out for two weeks," she says glumly. 

"I thought I would have at least one week of peace without seeing her," I say putting down my fork as I've lost my appetite. 

"Yeah, Snow came with Cato after you had left. She stayed with that mummy his entire visit and she convinced him she was too much of an ‘asset’ to kick out." Joanna answers, her voice filled with loathing. 

As if she was waiting for us to start talking about her, Glimmer walks into the kitchen, still in those damn acrylic heels, looking like she smelled something bad. "Ewww, it smells like something shit in here." she says. "Oh wait, it's only Diana's white trash food stinking up the place." How I did not miss that whore. 

"Glimmer, leave this kitchen if you can't get along with the girls. I'm done with your attitude and I’ll make sure you are booked with the cheapest clients if you keep it up.” Effie says crossly as she comes in. “Your client is here anyway, so scoot." 

Wow, I've never heard her talk like that before, I like it. What I feel is an act of revenge, Glimmer takes a huge slice of my "white trash" food mumbles something about “teachers pet” as she glares at me and walks out the door. I hope she chokes on it.

"Katniss, it's so good to see you," Effie says her tone switching back to chipper. Her eyes are still a little red, but besides that you wouldn't think she was just fighting with Haymitch.

"Now I know you haven't paid attention when I talked to you over the phone so I wanted to go over your appointments so far this week. I printed a list of who you will be seeing and any requirements. Come to me if you have any questions,” she says handing me a paper. "Now ladies the front room looks mighty empty so please finish your meal and get out there again," she says turning to the rest. There are groans from the girls and the sound of pushing chairs as well all start to get up and make our way out. 

I look down at her print out and I see I have a very diverse group of clients. Today's has me doing a double take, Wednesday’'s makes me smile, and Friday's makes the butterflies in my stomach go overtime. Peeta Mellark has booked me all day, and is paying $15,000 this time so that I am his on Saturday as well. It is going to drive me crazy trying to predicted what this unpredictable man wants. All it says in his notes is that I will know what he wants me to wear. This is going to be a long week.

I look up at the clock and realize that it's time to get ready for my Sunday appointment. I find my outfit neatly pressed on my bed and when I walk into the lounge in my costume Joanna bursts laughing. My client has a nun fetish. I am wearing a "sexy" nun's habit cut off at my crotch line and he requested no panties. I even have to wear the head covering. When my client comes Rue, Delly and Madge all leave the room to compose themselves as my client took the term "Bishop in a Turtleneck" literally and came in sans pants. He takes me on the swing that evening, screaming “Fuck! Oh God forgive me” when he comes. After he is done he goes to Clover for some flagellation for forgiveness. I will lose all respect for Peeta if he wants to do roleplay, especially if it's at the expense of someone's faith.

Monday I am getting the ol’ bump and slap with Crane again. His beard is even more ridiculous with it’s swirls and dips that I want to ask him if gets him any real action outside of a brothel. He decides that he wants to add a blow job in the front lounge while everyone is mixing and mingling. Why he would want to show anybody his unimpressive package is beyond me, but I do as he requests. God, I hope Peeta wants more than a blow job when he comes and to take me in the privacy of my room.

Tuesday finds me in a three way with Madge. The customer mostly wants to watch us kiss and go down on each other while he watches. When he finally joins in he pounds into Madge while she is licking me off. He only last two minutes while her tongue has been much more successful on me. Is that why Peeta didn’t want to have sex? Is he a two minute man? Peeta better not want to share. Especially if it’s Glimmer, there is no way I’m getting near her. 

Wednesday I am riding one of my favorite customers who just won’t shut the hell up. “So they got my order wrong and everything had to be sent back to India. There is no way I can have what I need in time now.” 

“Mmm hmm,” I say using his chest as leverage to move up and down his impressive shaft. 

“So Katniss I’m afraid that I will have to improvise Prim’s second dress.” Right there I stop. 

“Cinna, you know you are one of my favorite people and I love hearing about your business but do you have to discuss it while we are having sex? Especially when talking about my sister?” 

If you couldn’t guess already, I met Cinna and Portia through the brothel. They are an open couple and are very experimental. They first came a year ago and had so much fun they’ve been visiting ever since. Right now Portia is relieving some of her Vegas fashion show stress with Joanna. 

“Sorry Katniss, you’re right.” He says rubbing his hands up my body and starts to play with my nipples. 

“You know you are my muse don’t you? Every dress I’ve made since I’ve met you has been because I thought what it would look like on you. Next time I come I want to spend some time sketching you in dresses for my next line. I’m thinking a fire theme.” I arch into his hands and wiggle my butt a little bit to get him focused on the task at hand. 

“Yes, Cinna. That sounds nice, but in the meantime.” I pull one of his hands up and start sucking on his fingers.”Can we get down to it?” 

His focus is finally in the right place and he just nods so I continue moving up and down on him. I hope Peeta doesn’t decide all of a sudden that he is a talker in bed or I’m gagging him. Maybe I should gag him anyway?

Thursday Delta, Joanna, Glimmer and I hosting a party for a group of Japanese businessmen in the VIP room. They are pounding the drinks liberally and I don’t think any of them will last long enough for us to take them to our rooms. 

I’m requested to do a poll dance, with Glimmer of all people and damnit I had to kiss her after chants encouraging us start to rise. She used that opportunity to claw the back of my head with her fuchsia acrylic nails where she punched me. One of the businessmen manages to rise to the occasion with me in a spectacularly terrible fashion and once he is done and I’m alone I gurgle with mouthwash possibly five times. I still feel like I can’t get her off me, that sticky lip gloss and hot whisky breath of Glimmer still lingers. Maybe a shower will help? Peeta better not want me to fucking kiss Glimmer. 

Friday is finally here and I couldn’t stop fidgeting all day. I even managed to annoy Rue who told me to do something about it before she had to tie me down. I ended up taking a two hour jog and took a long shower, which helped somewhat. Now I am sitting at the bar sipping a margarita and wearing what I guess he wanted which are my white tank top and pink silk shorts, the ones I wore the morning he left. 

I start doubting if this is what he wants me to wear when Glimmer comes in for her favorite extracurricular activity, which is pissing me off. "So are you meeting a trucker tonight? What's with the trash outfit you are wearing?" she says with a sneer.

"Mr. Mellark requested I wear this." I say stone faced. I am not letting her see any doubts.

To my satisfaction, with the word Mellark, she turns three colors at once. "Well I guess he wants to see what it's like to slum it. Once he's used you up, I'll be there to show him what an upgrade looks like." she says laughing as she walking out the door. Although I really hate that woman, I am more angry at myself for not having a comeback. I’m sure the perfect on will much later when it will be of no use.

Glimmer's words keep repeating over and over so much that I don't hear when Peeta has finally come in. Suddenly I feel soft lips that can only be his on my neck as warm arms surround me. 

"Katniss, I've been dreaming of you just like this since the day I left you," he says to my neck as one hand move down cupping me firmly. "Have you been thinking about me?" he says rubbing me up and down.

I stutter a "yes" before he slips a hand down into my shorts, a finger dipping into my ready folds. He's only been here for five minutes and I can feel my entire body on fire, burning for him. Hell, I haven't even looked at him yet.

"I'm happy to see you're so wet for me already," he says hotly in my ear, causing me to blush in the truth. 

Peeta turns my stool around suddenly and cups my face in both hands turning it up so that I look at him. I catch my breath as I look into his bright blue eyes. They are alight with a deep passion I've never seen in anyone before. It makes me feel like he doesn't want just my body but he wants to consume my soul. I put a shaky hand on his, overwhelmed at the thought, and he move in to give me a kiss that conveys everything I've just seen in his eyes. I find my hands moving down to his hips pulling him closer as he licks my bottom lip, my mouth parts and our tongues dance around each other. I feel his hardness pressing against me and I wrap my legs around him to feel him more. He finally pulls away slightly, taking my bottom lip in his mouth as he bites down. He lets it go and we both try and catch our breath. 

I am ready for whatever he wants to do, I don't care anymore.

"I think it's time we go to my room Mr. Mellark." I say hopping off the stool, taking his hand in mine. 

With his other hand he tugs my braid gently, a stern look in his eyes. "It's Peeta. Never call me Mr. Mellark again." he says. It has been ingrained in us since we start at the Kitty Ranch to alway show respect to our clients by calling them by their surname. It's a habit I'm willing to break to keep Peeta happy.

"Yes, Peeta. I'm sorry." I reply, a little fearful that I have upset him. 

"No apologies needed my little Kat" he says. "Just don't forget", tugging my braid again but with a more playful look in his eyes. 

I pull him out of the front room and we both quickly walk to my room. His hand finding his way around my hip and down my shorts as we walk. Once inside I turn to him and ask what he would like to do tonight. 

Peeta grabs my hips and pulls, me close not answering. He kisses me on the lips softly before pulling my shorts down. "Lie on the bed, arms over your head," He finally says. 

I comply with his wish and watches as he takes off his well tailored suit. I can't help but wiggle my hips as I see the flex of his muscle as he pulls off his shirt, and the bounce of his erect cock as he pulls his boxers down. He finally gets on the bed and is on top of me, one arm holding himself up so his full weight is not on me. 

I keep my arms up as he ordered and he pulls my tank top up uncovering my breasts. "I love your breasts," he says as he starts to lick my breast and pinching them until they are both taught pebbles. 

He moves down licking my stomach and belly button. "I love your smooth skin." he says continuing down until he gets to my core. I feel his hot breath on me before I hear him say, "I love your small strip of hair and how you are always ready for me." and he gently pulls my clit in his mouth before he suddenly stops. 

He moves up to the top of my body and pulls my tank off, but I look up in confusion as I see him wind it around my wrist. He deftly loops it into the bars of my bed stand and brings it over and wraps it around my other wrist. I suddenly realize that he has firmly tied me to the bed with my own top. 

There is a wicked grin playing on Peeta's face and I expect him to start touching me again but he doesn't. He just reaches over to the lube on the bed stand, holds himself over me and starts to pump himself. Occasionally he touches my folds with his tip but just enough to make me anxious. My core is aching so much with need it almost hurts as I realize that he might not let me reach an orgasm. 

"Peeta, what are you doing?" I manage to ask. 

"Tell me what you want Katniss," he says while still pumping himself and teasing me. 

"I want you Peeta." The look he gives me tells me that's not the right answer. 

"Tell me what you want Katniss," he repeats.

"I... I want you inside of me Peeta," I answer. 

"You don't sound like you mean it." He says, never stopping his movement, never giving me anymore but the view of his firm cock in his hand and the flicker of touch. 

I realize that he wants me to beg for it. To beg for him. To want him as he wants me. Fuck him, I want to take control, but I can't stand it anymore. At this point if he wants me to beg I'll beg. 

"Please Peeta, I need to feel you inside me. I can't stand it anymore." I say the real need obvious in my voice. I'm grinding my hips trying to get any friction I can.

At this he reaches over the counter again, gets a condom and rolls it on himself. I lick my lips in anticipation as he swiftly pushes my legs wide open with his hands, pulling them around his waist and he plunges into me hard. We both moan at the contact as he starts moving in me at a steady pace. His arms are holding him up on either side of my body, there is no other contact besides where we are connected. 

I try to concentrate on this one feeling. The hard pounding of his cock thrusting into me, it feels so good feeling him inside of but I want more. I look up at him with pleading eyes. "Peeta..." I moan "Please touch me." I am so lost in my want for him I give him entire control of the situation, of me. 

He does exactly the opposite of what I want and he stops completely, pulling out of me. I almost sob in frustration at the loss of contact. My one comfort is that his erection looks as ready and angry as I feel at the moment. He reaches over me and unties me from the bed and pulls me off of it. My legs feel so weak I don't want to get up, but I follow. 

Peeta pulls me to the tantra chair and he sits on it, back leaning against the tall end. He leads me to sit on top of him, I grab his cock and plunge down on it before he can stop me, feeling a sense of relief at the connection again. Before I can start moving he grabs my legs, pulling them over his shoulders, causing me to fall back so that I have to hold myself up with the back of the seat. We both start moving at once, in sync, lost in the feeling of the motion, our moans rising together.

"Look up Katniss," Peeta growls at me. I do what he says and I see his eyes staring intently at me through the mirror. "Look at us Katniss."

As I do what he says I finally understand what he wants me to see. I see the tightness of his stomach muscles as they contract. I see the flex of his hips, one hand tightly gripping my hip while the other one circles my clit. I see him moving in and out of me. I see my own muscles tighten with every movement we make and I feel each push and pull more acutely because I see the adjoining action. All my feelings emotional and physical become more intense as I look up at us. For the first time I feel alive, I feel passion, an all consuming fire that I want to rage on.

I look in his eyes again and he knows I get it. We are connected, we are one and we are better together. We both burst at the same time, our cries ringing out, never looking away as we memorize each others face at that moment. 

I collapse back completely exhausted. Peeta gets up leaving me on the chair to go to the bathroom to clean himself. He comes back and lifts me up, taking me to the bathroom and propping me on the counter so he can clean me too. I feel like his marionette puppet at this moment, all loose jangly limps, letting him do all the work.. 

When he is done he lifts me again and carries me into the bed. He lies on top of me and I wrap my legs and arms around him. His weight makes me feel secure, it brings me down from where I have been floating. He covers my face in sweet kisses from my forehead, to my nose, and my cheeks. 

"What are you doing to me Katniss? I can't shake you. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since the first day I meet you." I look up and his eyes are filled with frustration, a frustration I understand.

I take his face in my hand, stroking his strong jaw. "I know Peeta. You don't make my life any easier." I say trying to smile. 

"I'm happy that I found you," He said, pressing my hand that is holding his cheek. "But I hate that I found you here."

"This is who I am Peeta. I'm a prostitute, something you’ve benefited from." I say crossing my arms under my still naked breasts and looking to the side, at my pillow. 

"Look, I'm not asking you to change what you do." There is anger in his voice but he starts stroking my collarbone until I look at him and relax my arms. He takes a deep breath before continuing, "I can't love you Katniss. But I don't think I can stay away either."

My heart hurts at the truth, but he is right. Our worlds are too different. All I would ever do is hurt him. I see the scar on his temple and I am reminded that I already have.

I look him directly in the eye so he knows I am being honest. "I can't love you either Peeta, and I don't want you to stay away. I need to see you again." 

Peeta gives me a sad smile that mirrors my own. "Strictly business then?" he asks.

"Strictly business." I confirm with a nod. I have slept with countless men, this is my job. He is just another client, or so I try to tell myself.

We seal it with a kiss. One that tells me that we are both in trouble of keeping our end of the deal. He flips over on his back and pulls me to lie my head on his shoulder like the last time, knowing there is nothing else to say. Peeta smells of musk, cinnamon and me. I must smell like him too is the last thought I have before falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title Origin of Love came from the song of the same name from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. When I started writing the last scene I was reminded of it. 
> 
> Video:  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zU3U7E1Odc
> 
> This comes from Plato's Symposium. It is Aristophanes speech of why when people find the one that they truly love they never want to be seperated. I've always like this story.


	9. Mile High Therapy

"What are you doing Peeta?" I ask as he pulls out my hair from its long braid and then starts inserting some daisies that he'd plucked from the grass surrounding us. 

"I'm crowning you my queen," he says as he continues putting them in my hair.

I am lying in a lush meadow enjoying the sunshine and fresh cool air. Peeta and I are gloriously naked and intertwined with each other in the same position we were last night during our talk. The sun is wonderful and the daisies are flowering all around us. Even though I never have been here before it feels like I've known it all my life and I love this beautiful haven which only the two of us share.

"Oh really? And what does being your queen entail?" I ask as he starts laying daisies down my stomach and breasts, then circling my erect nipple slowly. 

"It means you have rule over my heart. Take care of it Katniss, and be patient with it, because it's still learning how to beat properly," he replies, laying a kiss down over where my own heart beats.

"I promise I will Peeta." I say, taking some of the flowers off my chest and putting them in his curly hair. "But you have to protect my heart too." 

Before he can answer everything blurs as the feeling of his insistent hands in my hair intensifies. I open my eyes, the meadow disappears leaving me in my own dark bedroom and realize I was just dreaming. Sighing, I turn to see Peeta is on his side, looking at me with warm eyes, his hands playing with my hair. 

He is pulling out the rubber band in my hair and working out the braid so I ask "What are you doing Peeta?"

"Well my little Kat, your braid got rather messy last night from our energetic activities so I am just untangling it for you," he says grinning down at me. His face is relaxed once again like the other morning we spent together. As he smiles, I see the boy in him I met so long ago more now than ever.

"Really? Well it's nice to know you are here to watch after me." I say laughing. It turns into a breathless chuckle when his fingers spread my hair over my chest and then run them lightly over the outside of my nipples.

"I'll always be there to watch after you Katniss," he says, his voice dropping a little lower. 

"Well I guess I will have to watch after you too Peeta," I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him completely on top of me. Oh yeah, we are totally keeping it business. "So, as you have employed my service for today as well, what would you like to do with me?" I ask moving my hands down to the back of his broad shoulders, loving the feel of his muscles as they move under my fingertips.

"I can't stay all day Katniss," he says, his voice full of regret. "I have priorities back in Los Angeles, but I just wanted to buy your time today so that you had at least one night off after I left." 

I know he just paid me to have sex with him, that this is my job, but as I realize our time is almost over, a flash of guilt hits. Soon I would be providing services to other men in my bed and he wanted one night, just one more night where I was still his even if he wasn’t physically here.

"So how much time do you have?" I ask trying to keep it light, hiding any traces of guilt or sadness. 

"I only have until noon so I would rather not waste any more time talking Miss Everdeen. So to answer your first question, what I'm going to do is fuck you right now until you come..." He says sucking on my earlobe while parting my thighs with his hand. 

"Then I am going to taste how wet you are for me and work your pussy until you come again." He kisses my collarbone before reaching over, grabbing a condom and handing it to me to roll it on him. 

"And afterwards I am going to take you again in the shower,” He says inserting two fingers to see if I am ready for him.

“Then I will make sure my dirty Kat is nice and clean," he finishes as he aligns his cock at my entrance before roughly plunging into me while he swallows the “Peeta” I whimper from the sensation of him filling me again.

Peeta does everything he promises and although he took his time working me fully, too soon it is time for him to get ready to leave. We stand in the middle of the room both damp from our shower just holding on to each other for a few minutes, my head on his shoulder. I breathe him in, trying to memorize his smell. The touch of our hands moving softly against any exposed skin silently whispers words that convey feelings that we would never be able to say out loud. 

We finally part and he puts on his suit again while I get dressed in a simple black tank and a tight pair of jeans. He takes my hand so we can leave the room together and he gives me a small grin as he tugs on my newly made braid.

"So what is with the hair pulling, may I ask?" I say rocking our conjoined hands. 

"Oh it reminds me of a certain girl with the most beautiful voice I ever heard, is all. She had a braid the very day I met her," he replies.

"Well she couldn't have been that good." I say rolling my eyes. 

He holds my hand tighter lifting it up to kiss it softly. "It was so beautiful the birds stopped their singing to hear her voice, and the boy knew he saw something very special that day." he replies, eyes a little moist.

I don't know what to say, but I can feel my face blushing, so I just squeeze his hand back and turn to head to the front entrance. When we pass the front lounge I look in and see that Joanna, Delly, Bristel and Rue are lounging, waiting for customers. Keeping them company is Finnick, nestled in between them, arms drapped over Joanna and Delly.

"Well it looks like Katniss Therapy has worked again. When is the next session? Please tell me it is soon," Finnick says in greeting when he sees us enter.

"Finnick? You're here too? When did that happen?" I ask, surprised to see him here too. In answer he just gives me that very familiar cocky grin. 

Everyone including Peeta bursts out laughing and I can't help the frown that screws my face because I know the joke is at my expense. I want to stay mad but that is the first big laugh that I have ever heard come out of Peeta and I love it. I am trying really hard to keep the scowl on my face but his laugh is so rich and infectious it makes me feel lighter, and I feel my mouth tick up in a small smile.

Peeta looks over at me and sobers himself up enough to finally tell me what they were laughing about. "Finnick came in with me. You didn't even notice him when we left together. He even said, 'Nice tits tonight' to you."

I think back to last night and once Peeta came in I ceased to notice anything else. Oh my god, Peeta groped me in public, at the bar, in front of Finnick and Thresh and I didn't even think about it. I usually try to keep that type of action in the privacy of my bedroom unless requested. My semi-prudishness is part of my appeal with customers. How the hell does he have such an effect on me? 

As if reading my thoughts Joanna yells out. "You should have seen your face last night. He's like your drug and a massively handsome drug at that. Care to share?"

"So I take it you were playing tie me up tie me down with Annie again?" I ask Finnick instead of answering, choosing to ignore her. At this point I think my whole body must be red. 

"Most definitely. She is a very willing participant and she’s resting right now after our long night of activities.” Giving me a cheesy wink. “Your Annie is something else, I've never met anyone like her." His cocky attitude is suddenly gone and his eyes have a far-off dreamy look. He then takes out a small rope and begins to tie and untie it with intricate knots unconsciously. 

"Well, we aim to please here at the Kitty Ranch," I say slightly sarcastically. 

"You certainly do in more ways than one. Care to take a spin on the magic Finn ride?" he replies ogling me while squeezing each of Joanna & Delly’s boobs making them laugh.

"Magic Finn Ride? Really? Sounds like it may be broke down.” 

“Alright, enough of that Finnick. You can't have this one," Peeta says. He is not angry like he was the last time which is a relief. "We better go, the jet is waiting."

I quirk up my eyebrow at this. "Jet? I didn't know Senators sons got those sort of perks?" Delly asks.

"Oh didn't you know?" Finnick says getting up and putting his arm over Peeta's shoulders. "Golden boy’s father is not only a senator but is old money. Loaded darling." Making his point with an affected accent. "Mummy wasn't satisfied with just being rich, she wanted to be important too."

I look over at Peeta and I see him visibly tense. I don't know if it's because of the extra information about himself or the mention of his mother. Probably both. "That's enough Finnick." he says, shrugging him off.

"Oh but didn't you tell her?" Finnick says completely ignoring his friends change in attitude. "Mummy wants a legacy, the next Kennedy Dynasty, and since his brothers fucked up with their various indiscretions it means Peeta has been nominated as the heir to the Mellark throne."

"Finnick, I'm warning you for the last time." Peeta answers. His body is so tense it looks like it's made of granite. The only way you tell he is a human being is by the heavy breathing moving his chest and the clenching and unclenching of his fists. 

This does not phase Finnick one bit. By the wicked look on his face you can tell he is enjoying riling Peeta up. "I should actually be honored to be in your presence Peeta. I am only allowed to be around him because the current uptick in my fame gives him more time in front of the cameras when he's seen with me, because I’m positive mummy dearest hates me," he tells us. 

Peeta finally has had enough and he grabs Finnick roughly by the neck. "You're my friend Finnick but I swear to god if you say one more thing I am going to dump you in the middle of the desert and you can make your way back to L.A. on foot."

"All right all right, I'm done!" Finnick chokes out. Peeta doesn't let go of his grip though and just stands there staring him down. 

I exchange looks with the girls and they look as shocked as I do at the sudden change of mood. One of us really should have stopped them before it got out of hand but we were all caught up with the drama playing out. Also, I am gaining some valuable information about Peeta so I wasn’t really ready to step in. I finally decide enough is enough, especially as it's ruining what was a happy morning and Finnick looks like he might have a little trouble breathing. I know words won't be effective so I slip between the two of them, and kiss Peeta on the arm that is firmly holding Finnick and then catch his eye in a steady gaze so he can focus on me instead. Peeta let's him go, his eyes wide in surprise at his actions and he finally sits down heavily on one of the couches. 

"It's dangerous being your friend man." Finnick says rubbing his neck. Peeta looks up at him shaking his head, "Well you've always been a man who's liked living on the edge." 

"Come on, let's get back before they send out the cavalry," Finnick replies and like that the tension has been broken as he pulls Peeta up from the couch.

"Men are fucking idiots," Joanna mumbles to me, taking the words right out of my mouth. Finnick obviously knew it was pissing Peeta off. What the hell was that about and why did Finnick decide to keep pushing him? 

Peeta turns to me and pulls me too him, his arms wrapping around my waist. His hands sneak down under the edge of my pants and slowly caresses the spot right above my ass, sending tingles all the way up my spine. "Bye my little Kat. I will be back next Friday. I don't think I can stand being away any longer than that." He kisses me on his temple and squeezes me closer.

"I look forward to next week," I mumble into his neck. What have I gotten myself into? Our time felt so short and now I have another week to count down before I see him again. It was such a bad decision letting him in, but it's too late. He lets me go and they both wave to the other girls before heading out the door. 

When they are gone the girls turn to me and stare at me with curiosity, making me squirm in discomfort. “Can you tell me what the hell that was about Kat? Don’t get me wrong, that was interesting, but I think Finnick was trying less to just rile Peeta up for shits-and-giggles and more make some sorta point.”, Joanna has a point, and my thoughts were going in the same direction but geez, like I have the answers. 

“I don’t know Jo. What does it matter anyway? He’s just a high paying customer and we don’t get involved in their personal business,” I answer. I look at Rue for support and the look on her face says she doesn’t believe me either. Frustrated, I leave the room without another word before they can say anything else. 

I get back to my room and stop in the doorway, just looking at my messy rumbled bed. I know the maid will be here any moment to completely change the bedding and soon it will be like no man ever slept here. I don't want to be in my room anymore and I certainly don't want to be in the brothel either so I decide to use the gift of time I got from Peeta and leave for the day. 

I don't know where I am going, or what I’m doing so I just drive up highway 15, letting my mind go blank. After a while, I pull over and realize that I was on automatic pilot since I ended up in the one place that reminds me of my father the most, the Valley of Fire at Lake Mead. Peace fills me as I gaze on one of the most gorgeous places in Nevada; harsh in it's beauty, intricate rock formations built through more than a millennium of rough conditions. I haven't been here since my last camping trip with my dad when I was 14. When I was little I would complain about my smelly stupid sister taking up all his time so he promised me that one day out of the year it would be just the two of us, and this is where he would take me. We would lie under the stars, pointing out the constellations, eating marshmallows and then he would sing all the folk songs he knew on the seven-string guitar he inherited from his own dad. 

I step out of the car and look at the vista with new eyes. I always appreciated it but I never realized how amazing it was, all I had were eyes for my father when I was young. I climb over the rocks feeling the rough curves and swirls as I go. I take a deep breath of cool air, feeling free and light. I know I should be sad being in a place where I used to be with my dad, but I am strangely comforted, like he is not gone. He is still here reminding me that he loves me and is watching over me. I walk back to the car and take out some food, water and an old sarape. I lie on top of a rock watching the sun set and the stars rise. I count all the constellations we used to look at together and stay there for the rest of the night, not going back to the brothel until it’s absolutely necessary.

__________________________________________________________

 

"Sae, I'm almost there but I'm heading straight to the football field. Call me when you get this."

Shit. What is the point of getting Sae to call me back, she can barely understand how to use the cell that I got her let alone listen to her messages. This day has just not been going my way at all. I was supposed to be in LA hours ago, helping Prim get ready for the Homecoming game but now I am extremely behind schedule, and can’t help but bang the wheel in frustration. I am driving at a speed that will probably get me pulled over, barely look presentable and I certainly don't feel close to presentable. I blame this all on Peeta Fuckin' Mellark. 

Peeta kept to his word and made an appointment with me for the next Friday. When he came he was in a very frisky mood, ready to play and play hard we did. His stamina was incredible and he put me in more positions than I can remember. The only reason he stopped was because he could only stay a few hours and not for the full night like last time. In the middle of the night I found myself awake hugging my pillow as I took in his scent on it, pretending he was next to me. 

Unfortunately, the major error I made was not telling Peeta that day I was leaving early from my stay at the Kitty Ranch and wouldn't be able to see him for the next two Fridays. Unhappy wouldn't even come close to covering it when he had he called the Kitty Ranch. Effie came to see me pale and anxious after the earful she got from him. What she hates more than anything is not being able to keep our customers satisfied, especially one that pays as well as he does. He convinced Effie to book an appointment with me for the Friday afternoon I was supposed to leave and he would personally take me on his private jet back to L.A. – with the greatest discretion of course. She made it very clear I had to comply.

Haymitch on the other hand left it up to my decision to keep the appointment, to her great chagrin. I said yes because I would never hear the end of it from Effie and I also couldn’t stand the thought of not seeing him for more than two weeks anyway. I would later regret that decision. 

I should have known something was up when he called before he arrived to request I wear my hair down, a sheer red slip and crotchless panties instead of my usual tank top and shorts. When he finally arrived, his pupils were so dilated with need you could barely see the blue. Gone was the playful lover of last week and in his place was a man on a mission. 

Peeta immediately pulled me to my room barely looking at me and not saying a word. He didn't even bother to take off his clothes, just swiftly bent me over the back of the leather chair, unzipped his pants, put on a condom and pushed into me without ceremony not giving me any time to prepare. His hands were so tight on my hips I knew bruises in the shape of his fingertips would soon blossom. My breast swung with the fast harsh pace he kept as he grunted softly in time with his movements. When I came he pulled out only long enough to flip me around and lift me on the dresser to continue. He wouldn’t let up until I came again, circling my clit roughly and biting my neck. Despite how rough he was, soon enough I could feel my core tightening again and when he growled “Come for me little whore” I found my body complying and he followed me soon after.

When I finally came down to earth I tried to catch his gaze but his eyes were so vacant, something still missing. He looked defeated and empty. I don't think he even really saw me. His phone started to ring and he quickly took it and shut himself in the bathroom. I just sat there, on the dresser for a good 10 minutes in a daze wondering what the hell just happened. 

When he finally came out of the bathroom he slammed the door, more angry than ever. He ordered me to get dressed in in a tight pencil skirt, a white blouse with no bra and to keep my crotchless panties on. He grabbed my pre-packed bag and pulled me out to the limo. He sat on the opposite side of the car the entire trip to the airport, ignoring me like I didn’t even exist. He was texting or on his phone, sunglasses on, not once glancing in my direction. By the time we were on the airplane – after I was escorted separately so he wouldn’t be seen with me, I was not only perplexed my anger had grown to an unmanageable proportion. At that point, he ceased to be Peeta and became Mr. Mellark, just another client paying. It was the only way I could deal.

It took a third round of sex with Peeta to finally get him to relax. I actually initiated it this time because it was either that or totally lose it on him, and I was not ready yet to get into it. So while he was on the airplane phone, I asked the attendant to leave us, and I unbuttoned my blouse and took it off. He didn’t even notice. Desperate times call for desperate measures, I got on my knees and released his cock before he knew what was happening. The look on his face as he tried to continue his conversation while I put a condom on him using my mouth felt like my small piece of revenge. My expert ministrations worked and the phone was hung up without him even saying goodbye. I got up and took a firm hold of him as I sunk down on his ready member. I used the arms of the seat to lift myself up and down on him as he grabbed and groped my ass. I opened his shirt and felt his chest for the first time that visit, feeling his rapid heartbeat under my hands as he started to control our movements. He panted my name as he came and pushed me all the way down on him, sending me over the edge too. 

We just stayed there for a few minutes catching our breaths, Peeta still inside me, our foreheads touching when I felt him rub his hand up and down my back. I looked into his eyes and saw that he was finally here with me. 

“What would I do without you my little Kat,” he said, hands pulling me in closer and he rested his chin on my head. 

I didn't know what to say to him after that entire experience. I didn't even know what to think. All I knew is that for some reason he was using my body to get away from something and I stopped being a person to him. I couldn’t help but be frightened and worried for the first time he wasn’t really there. 

Peeta and I finally separated but he pulled me to sit on his lap, throwing a blanket over us to cover my naked torso. For the short remainder of the flight I slept sitting on his lap, head on his shoulder, his right hand resting between my thighs. I was content to be close to him and he didn’t pick up the phone once. When we arrived he left the plane before me, gently kissing my hand before doing so. This was again done to make sure we wouldn’t be seen together, but he gave me his private number just in case I needed anything. 

Now I’m speeding on the freeway in a rental car, late because I said yes to Peeta when I should have just said no. I don't know if I could ever say no to him. I'm wearing the same slutty secretary outfit I did on the plane because there was no time to change and I hope to god nobody finds out what I'm wearing or rather not wearing underneath. 

I see the floodlights ahead and look down at my phone and breathe a sigh of relief when I realize I’ve actually made it before kickoff. I also find a message from Gale saying that he is waiting for me out by the main entrance. As I step out of the car the Santa Ana winds whip around me, so I rifle around my bag until I see my favorite soft grey hoodie and quickly zip into it and wrap my arms around myself to keep out the chill. I quickly find Gale right where he promised. He is leaning on a fence playing with his cell while he waits, so I tiptoe behind him and tickle his ear with the string of my hoodie. His yelp turns into a happy “hey” when he sees it's me.

“Well look who the cat finally dragged in.” He says giving me a warm full contact hug. “I thought we’d have to hire some prostitute off the street to represent you in the bleachers. If she had dark hair like you, Prim wouldn’t be able to tell the difference if we sat high enough.”

“Ha ha Gale. I got here as soon as I could. How is she? Have you seen her?” I say zipping the hoodie a little higher. 

“Oh she is acting exactly how we’d expect a teenager like her at this momentous occasion of high school life. She is a ball of excited nervous energy. She hasn’t stopped talking for the last week, barely taking a moment to actually breathe.” I can’t help but laugh at Gale's annoyed face because he hates talkers. I can only imagine what it took him to be patient with her. 

“I wish I could have been here for all of this.” I say, bottom lip pouting out. 

“Well they still have that damn dance tomorrow so you’ll have plenty more ‘moments’ with her Catnip,” he says.

I nod my head and I can’t help the shiver as the wind cuts through my thin clothing. “Hey are you cold? Why are you wearing a skirt anyway,” he asks as he wraps his arms around me. He feels so warm so I snuggle in deeper. 

Gale rubs his hands up and down my back to warm me up and then stops suddenly, holding me by the arms and pushing back to look at me. 

“What is it Gale?” I ask as he looks at me like he just figured something out.

“Are you wearing a bra?” I immediately turn red and look away from him. But he doesn’t stop there, it’s Gale, once he sees one thing he sees it all. 

“What the hell are you wearing anyway Katniss? You are at a fucking football game in a tight skirt and ridiculously high heels. I’ve never even seen you wear heels the entire time I’ve known you. And where’s your standard braid? Your hair is a complete mess,” his voice is stern and wary. Damnit I forgot about the heels.

“Gale, stop it. I came from work that’s all.” I say trying to deflect him. 

“And what sort of work would that be if you aren’t wearing a bra?” he says unzipping my hoodie to make his point. "And what the hell is that mark on your neck?"

“Leave me alone Gale.” Pushing him away and walking towards the entrance, zipping it back up. I don’t get far before he pulls me back by my arm. 

“Who is he?” he asks, his tone getting increasingly angry. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" Avoiding answering him, getting angry and alarmed. Why are the men in my life deciding to make my life hell right now? Emotions went from 0 to 90 in a span of a few minutes with Gale.

Gale pulls me in close, still gripping my arm. "Who the hell is the man you’re fucking?" He asks slowly to make sure I understand every single word. "You look like you've been used and you smell like it too." 

"Fuck you! What a thing to say to me Gale!" Finally yanking my arm away. "I'm not some hydrant for you to piss on as your property. I can be with whoever I want and I don't have to explain myself to you!"

"Shit Katniss, I just don't want you to fuck up your life. You’re gone all the time and now you are late to your own sisters homecoming because you’re blowing some guy? Get your act together."

"I don't want to hear it anymore Gale. You've insulted me in every way possible. Don't talk to me until you’re giving me an apology." I walk away as fast as I can and push my way past some people buying tickets so he can't get close to me. I’m so angry my chest hurts and I can feel the tears building in the back of my eyes. The worst part is he is right in so many ways. But this is my life and I made my choices for our survival and on top of that, it’s not his to dictate what I do anyway.

I see Sae talking to Hazelle in the bleachers and go up to them as fast as I can. Sae gets up when she sees me and I hug her tightly, just trying to take in all the love she has to give. "What's a matter child?" she asks knowing immediately something is wrong. 

"It's Gale" I whisper to her, trying to hold back my tears. "We had a huge fight in the parking lot. He was telling me I was fucking up my life." With my arms wrapped around her waist still, I lean my head on her shoulder and let myself be taken care of by somebody else, even if it’s just for one moment.

"Oh that boy, he knows how to stick his mouth in it. He’s been wound up all week. Never you mind him. He's a stubborn man but he'll come around. Besides that, he doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about," she says, rubbing my back soothingly. Gale soon comes up and he doesn't look at me as he sits between his mother and Vick. With both her and Sae between us I at least have a buffer to hide from the others the fact that we aren't particularly happy with each other right now. 

"Now look down there at our Prim. Doesn't she look beautiful?" Sae says trying to distract me.

I look down to see her with the other nominees standing on the side of the field in one of the dresses Cinna made her. She looks gorgeous, my little sister looks like a woman. She is wearing a light pink ankle length dress with spaghetti straps, and a heart shaped neckline that shimmers in the outdoor lights. Her golden hair is piled up on her hair with a gold circlet in the front. Lastly she has a magenta pashmina draped over her shoulders to keep her warm. It matches her coloring perfectly and she shines above all the rest of the girls. Prim spots me in the stands and waves enthusiastically as I wave back just as much, reminding myself why I’m here.

"Is that our mother?" I ask Sae as I see her down there with Prim. "How did you convince her to come out?

"Oh I didn't have to convince her at all. She wanted to come so she could introduce you girls to her boyfriend. He's kind of a silly man, all pomp and fancy clothes. He's not into drugs and your mother has perked up being with him so I guess that's something. Not sure I trust him yet though."

"So he's here now?" I ask trying to look for him.

"See down there, he's next to your mom talking to one of the other parents." I follow her finger to a well dressed man on the field. 

I try to make out what he looks like but his back is facing me. When I finally get a better look, the suite he is wearing and his slicked back hair makes my heart drop down to my stomach. Oh please god, not him, I plead in vain. He turns around and I see that ridiculous beard and one of my greatest fears is realized. My mothers boyfriend is Seneca Crane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Valley of Fire is a real place. I've never been there but it is on my bucket list.


	10. Hell is Other People

I must not have woken up this morning because that is the only reasonable explanation for this complete nightmare. There is no possible way one of my worst clients is my mother’s boyfriend. I had been looking forward to today too. Being able to spend time with Peeta and and my sister in the same day was supposed to be a good thing. Now I realize I should have just stayed in bed.

I just sit there staring down at them, not responding to Sae's chatter and praying the man next to my mother is a figment of my imagination. How the hell did my mother meet him, anyway? There are literally millions of people in Los Angeles, the fates must really hate me. I watch as Seneca puts his arm around my mother’s waist and they both laugh about something. Oh my god he just squeezed her butt. Suddenly images of him behind me and inside me pop into my head and I know exactly what my moms sex life looks like. God, I need to throw up.

“....don’t you think that beard is ridiculous?”

“What?” I ask Sae coming back to my senses.

“I said, don’t you think that man’s beard is ridiculous? How your mother finds him attractive is beyond me,” I just nod my head at Sae, trying to figure out where the nearest exit is.

Just as I'm about to get up to go to the bathroom to clear my head, they turn around and start walking up to the bleachers. My mother sees me and waves, a huge smile on her face. I give a weak wave back to her, doing my best to avoid looking at the man at her side. I guess staying up here is as good a place as any to be “introduced” to him since I'm at least surrounded by other people.

One of the most useful skills a gal gets working at a brothel is the ability to “act” when the situation arises, no pun intended. And this is certainly the time to use that particular skill. I may be screaming on the inside, equal parts anger and panic, but outside, my face is schooled in a mask of curiosity and slight indifference.

When they finally make their way up to us everybody stands up to say hello and make introductions. Sae wasn’t lying when she said he perked my mother up. She actually looks healthy; almost like any normal sane parent who actually cares about her children. My mother even goes as far as giving me a warm hug. Color me shocked.

“Oh Katniss you made it! I am so happy you are here,” she says like she wasn't the one who hasn't been checked out for 6 fucking years. I try not to stiffen up at the foreign feeling of her arms around me but I fail miserably. “Katniss I want you to meet my gorgeous boyfriend, Seneca Crane.” She says, turning to him with a smile of pride lighting up her face. "Seneca is District Attorney of Los Angeles County."

This is definitely news to me. I never once asked Crane what he did for a living, especially since most clients would rather not have us know their personal lives, and frankly I don't really care anyway. It’s not a complete surprise though since his pompous attitude and expensive clothes always spoke louder than words about how important he felt he was. And a whole lot of rich influential people come through the Kitty Ranch's doors because Snow was known for offering the best, most discreet pleasures that money can offer. Finding out he's one of the most powerful lawyers in LA is just the cherry on top of this oh so wonderful situation. 

Crane offers his hand to me and I do my best not to cringe when I take it. “Lovely to finally meet you Katniss. You’re mother talks so much about you.” He smiles benignly, not a hint of our past flickering in his eyes.

“It’s very nice to meet you too Mr. Crane. My mother has barely mentioned you.” I say smiling as sweetly as I can considering the circumstances.

He just chuckles at this. “Well I guess we’ll just have to get to know each other better than. I look forward to all of us being very close. I am in the long haul with your beautiful mother here.” He squeezes my mom’s waist, pulling her tight against him. She looks at him like a moony love-struck teenager and nausea takes over me again. 

“And Claire you showed me pictures of your daughters but I still can’t believe you would have such an adult daughter. You are way too young for that.” He says to her. Oh this man is a master of subtle hints; nobody would get his subtle underlying meaning except for me.

The conversation finally turns away from me when my mom introduces him to Sae and the Hawthornes. I look over to Gale and I can tell he's really trying to keep a straight face but Seneca’s intricate beard is way too much for him to handle. Usually we would exchange knowing glances about something like this, but he doesn’t even look over at me once, making me feel more alone. I look at Sae and she gives me a comforting smile, so I tell myself I can get through this hellish turn of events.

The game is about to start so everybody takes their seats. To my great horror Crane sits down between my mother and I so he can chat with me. He takes advantage of the crowded seats to keep his legs wide open, pressing his thigh against mine, even though he does not look at me unless he politely asks me questions like “what do I do” and “where have you travelled for your job.” The lies I have told my family have been set for so long, I rattle off facts automatically, glad I have been super cautious in my research. I don’t think he is trying to catch me in a lie in front of my family, but I do feel like I am a mouse to his cat at the moment.

This has got to be the longest football game in the history of sports. I keep looking hopelessly at the clock watching the agonizing minutes pass by slowly. I look over at Gale to see if he has loosened up at all and not only does his temper still look like it’s in the red zone, he is now staring intently at a group of people one row below and to the left of us. I look over to see why they've caught his attention and realize it's because of me. I had crossed my legs away from Seneca in an attempt to move my body as far away as possible, but apparently my exposed legs, tight skirt, high heels and loose hair have caught a major amount of attention from the male population. So of course Gale is staring down a group of men in anger who keep looking over at me and nudging each other. I look up at Gale again and I wish I hadn’t because his eyes say “see this is the type of bad attention you are bringing right now.” I decide this is as good a time as any to leave the game to finally change my clothes and take a break from this mess. I walk down the bleacher stairs conscious of the many eyes following me all the way down.

I didn't realize how claustrophobic the stadium felt until I am finally by myself in the parking lot away from the noise, the eyes, and the conversations. It feels so good to be away from the game and the hell that is other people. Just as I'm bending over to rifle through my duffle bag, I hear steps approach me slowly from behind. I turn around quickly to see Crane a few feet away. I cross my arms and lean against the car, ready to have the confrontation I knew was bound to happen eventually.

“Hi Katniss, or is it Diana, I am really confused right now?” he says walking up to me until he is only inches away. Of course, he has not let go of the fake smile plastered on his face all night. 

“What the hell is going on Crane?” I say, finally relieved to get the words out that have been bouncing in my head since I first saw him.

"My, my, my. Now is that a way to talk to a paying customer? And call me Seneca, we are almost family after all," he says trapping me between his arms. What is with men pinning me to cars?

"Well you aren’t paying me right now so I don't have to pretend I like you Crane. Now, tell me what one of my clients is doing around my family." I say, not about to back down, arms tightly crossed and head defiantly raised high.

"Look, I'm not exactly thrilled either that my my whore is my girlfriend's daughter," he says, his voice quickly becoming threatening, his icy eyes glittering down at me. "Do you know what it would do to my reputation if it came out? I can't have you mess this up for me Diana. If you even breathe one word about what you do, or implicate me in anyway, you don't want to deal with the consequences." He grabs my face harshly with one hand. I let him because I know he'll say more than he means to if he thinks he has power over me.

"You're mother is a nice piece of ass Diana, I see where you get it from," he continues, still holding my face while his left hand grabs my ass tightly. "But she has benefits beyond those assets. I'm sure you didn't know this, but your grandparents are well connected in Los Angeles and they like me so they're helping fund my campaign to run for Attorney General."

"My grandparents? I don’t have any..."

"Let me finish." he says harshly, his hand moving down to grab my inner thigh. "They threw her out when she married that loser of a husband."

"Don’t you dare call my father... " I say, so angry I can't help but yank my head away from his grip, despite the information he's revealing. It's just not worth it.

"Well do you want to this hear or not?" he says grabbing my face again.

"They've been keeping track of her for years and noticed how well your mother is doing now, ironically mostly thanks to you. And your sister is such a shining star, how could they not want to be involved in that? They are ready to welcome her back with open arms and give me a hefty donation to my campaign to help her look presentable. I’m afraid you look too much like your father and with that lack of a high school diploma, they aren't that interested in you. To be honest, you're definitely a liability."

"You are the biggest piece of..." I manage to say before he squeezes my cheeks harder.

"Hey, manners girl. I don’t want you to blow me with that dirty mouth." he says. 

"Crane I am never touching you again. If you get anywhere near the ranch I am getting your ass kicked out."

"Don’t worry I am not getting near your precious ranch anymore. It's too much of a liability now that my campaign is gearing up." He then moves his hand up my thigh and grabs me firmly from underneath the skirt.

"It feels like you're ready for one more go dirty Diana," he says discovering my crotchless panties, "what do you say we do it right here for old time sake? I’m really going to miss that mouth of yours. As well as other juicy parts."

I've had enough of this fool so I pick up my foot and slam my very sharp heel down on his foot hard, and twist it for good measure. He let's me go and grabs his foot cursing loud enough for the entire city to hear.

“Aww, it’s against the rules to make deals with current clients outside of the Ranch. Damn.” I say relishing the look of pain on his face.

I can see the anger flush his face as he grabs me by the arms and pushes me hard against the car. "You fucking bitch. You’re lucky I don't get one of my men to mess up that pretty face of yours right now. But I wouldn't want to call attention to what a whore you are, at least not yet." To make sure he doesn't try anything I press the panic button on the keys I've had hidden in my hand the entire time. Crane let's me go startled, looking to see who is around.

"Just keep Diana Flynn in Nevada and the less you're seen in L.A. the better. Got it." he says walking away with a slight limp as he straightens his jacket and slicks back his hair.

I turn off the alarm and sag against the car in relief but fear still courses through me. A security guard runs over to check if I need assistance and I tell him I thought there was someone lurking around the parking lot. He asks if I need an escort back to the stadium and I take it just in case Crane is good on his threat about his men. I put on my flats as well as grab my jeans and a bra before the guard walks me back to the lights and crowd of the school. I warmly thank him before going into the women's bathroom, grateful that at least one man was a gentleman tonight.

I finally get dressed but just sit on top of the toilet trying to stop the shaking that had started once the confrontation ended. I can't help but feel so vulnerable and exposed; everything feels like it's falling apart around me. It’s just a matter of time before my house of cards tumble. I don’t want to make a deal with him, but I have something bigger at stake to lose than his precious career. I hear the blare of the horn signal half time and I get the courage to leave the sanctuary of the bathroom stall. I braid my hair and feel that my armor is back in place so I finally walk back to the field.

I look up and all I see is more torture ahead of me if I walk back up the bleachers to sit with my "family" so I decide to just stay at the bottom near the fence to watch the coronation ceremony. Right now I'm struggling to keep it together and I'd rather have a few more moments to gather myself. All I want to do is to just get back in the car and drive back to Nevada. Prim is the only thing that's keeping me here.

"Hey Katniss! Katniss!" I hear someone yell my name.

I turn to the right and I see Mr. Beetee in the first row of the bleachers along with his wife Wiress. He's waving his arm wildly at me, not paying attention how he's annoying the people around him. This brings the first natural smile to my face I've had all evening so I walk over to say hello. 

"Hi Mr. Beetee, I didn't know you were going to the game." I say giving him a hug. "Hi Mrs. Beetee, how are you doing?"

"Hi Katniss" she says giving me a tremulous smile. "I'm afraid it's working all wrong, he hasn't figured out how to make it work correctly. But he'll figure it out. The timing is all wrong, that's all. He might have to break the gears to start all over again." she rambles, taking my hand. I squeeze it back knowing this is the best she can do with communication. Mr. Beetee smiles at me, then at Wiress, his eyes full of love for his wife.

"Can I sit with you for a bit?" I ask them both.

"Of course Katniss. We usually don't get that much company when we do get out." he says patting the seat next to him.

"Well I am glad you are out tonight and I would love to keep you company." I say nudging his shoulder. 

While we wait for the coronation ceremony to start Mr. Beetee and I chat pleasantly. Wiress smiles at us and then occasionally says something nonsensical we both agree too. Sae eventually comes down when she sees Beetee and Wiress and joins us and with this happy little group I start to relax and pretend everything is normal with the three of them.

Our attention turns to the field as trumpets blare and grand music starts to play over the speakers. The homecoming court comes out in pairs of two in cheaply made chariots and they form a semicircle on the field. Prim and Rory are together almost at the center and they haven't stopped holding hands the entire time. After the principle gives a long boring speech about school and community pride he pulls out the paper to announce the Homecoming Queen and King. Sae and I go crazy as Prim and Rory are announced the winners. We are jumping up and down and hugging each other and everyone around us. Prim looks absolutely stunned as they hand her flowers and put the crown on her head.

I'm proud of her in so many ways but to see that others see how special she is makes everything worth it and my heart fills with so much joy it feels like it's bursting. As the ceremony comes to an end, they pull all the chariots are away except for Prim & Rory's who make one last circle around the field to wave at the crowd. The moment she is free she runs directly to the bleachers and jumps into my arms.

"Oh Katniss I can't believe they voted for me!" She looks at me with her eyes shining with tears. "I was hoping I would win so I could give you these," she says handing me the roses they gave her. "I love you so much and I couldn't ask for a better sister. Even though you were never able to complete school, I know they would have crowned you every possible title if you had." 

I am speechless with this declaration so I just hug her tight for a few minutes. Everyone wants to talk to her and congratulate her but she ignores them all just so we can have this moment. When we finally release each other we see that our mom, Crane and the Hawthornes all have come down to congratulate Rory and Prim. I look over at Gale beaming and clapping Rory on the shoulder. He looks at me and gives me the first genuine smile since I first got here. I'm still mad at him and we'll have to talk before I let it go because I still need to know where his head is. I give him a small smile back and turn back to my mother who is walking towards me without Crane. 

I can tell that being social has taken it's toll on our mom because she is already starting to check out again, her eyes unfocused and glazed. Mom congratulates Prim and gives her a weak hug. She then tells us that they will be going because Seneca hurt his foot on some old equipment laying out. He is already started for the car but mom says he would like to take us out to dinner next week in celebration. I'm already trying to think of a few creative excuses why I can’t go. Prim gives her a tight smile before turning to talk to the others. It hurts me to see Prim disappointed once again by our mother. She has tried so hard to make her better but now she is starting to disconnect too. I wish I could change our mother just for her but I lost hope long ago.

The rest of the game is about to continue so Prim goes back to sit with the other members of the court but gives my hand one last squeeze. I decide to remain at the front bleachers with Beetee, Wiress and Sae feeling so much more comfortable with them. With Prim's win and Crane gone I feel more free to be myself and enjoy everything, Gale's pissy mood be damned. At least that is something I have dealt with before and now he finally looks to be softening up. 

While sitting there, trying to keep engaged I feel a buzz in my purse and look down to see there is a text message from Gale.

 _“Hey we need to talk,”_ he writes.

 _“Now’s not the time Gale.”_ I write back.

_”I know. I overreacted but I need to explain myself.”_

_“I work at Sae’s until 3pm tomorrow. Meet me for coffee and we can talk.”_ I type back after a few minutes, letting him sweat.

 _“Thanks Katniss. Can you pretend you like me now?”_ I can’t help but scowl at this. I was not the one who started this but it’s a good thing we are talking tomorrow. I turn around and give him a nod anyway and he gives a cautious smile back too.

The game finally ends with a win on our side and the crowd starts to leave the school, everyone in high spirits except for me. I am definitely ready for this day to be over but unfortunately I’m still not done yet because Sae invites everyone to come to the diner to celebrate all our victories. Prim nods her head enthusiastically yes and looks at Rory with a plea to join. He would never say no to her, so the rest of the Hawthornes agree that food sounds like a great idea too.

Mr. Beetee politely declines considering it has been a long night for both his wife and himself. I hug both of them goodbye, glad for the reprieve they gave me. Wiress takes my hand and says "Don't worry, he'll break it," before being escorted by her husband. I can't help the sigh that escapes me as I see them walk away; I so envy their ability to go home and to bed, that sounds so marvelous right now.

I want to be there for Prim but I am drained mentally not mention I'm physically sore from my hard session with Peeta this morning; bruises are already blooming on my hips. The rest of the night feels like a blur as I try to keep up an appearance of being happiness for Prim's sake. I try to laugh jokes at the right time, I answer questions when asked but I feel disconnected and hollow, like an actor playing a part. My mind starts wandering to Peeta and what it must be like for him to be constantly smiling in front of the cameras and keeping up his charming act. I can barely handle doing it in front of a small group of people that I love. The only people who notice are Sae and Gale, their eyes both full of concern for me. When Sae finally asks, I whisper to her that I’ll talk to her later. Gale doesn’t ask but he probably thinks that it’s only his actions making me act strangely.

I am relieved when the long day is over only to pull into our driveway and see an unfamiliar black Sedan in the driveway. It must be Crane’s, reminding me that he won’t be going away anytime soon. 

“Does mom’s boyfriend stay over a lot?” I ask Prim and Sae as we walk to the house.

“Oh they are always together. Either he’s here or she’s over there.” Prim says giving a face. That is just great. Why he'd want to stay at our little house is beyond me.

The house is quiet when we enter and my mom’s room dark so I assume they must be asleep. I get ready for bed and when I enter the room Prim and I share I see that she is already sound asleep, snoring slightly. I climb into my old but comfortable twin bed. The sheets may not be made of silk and are are old, but it feels so good to be in my blankets, by myself, knowing I have nobody to please for the next week. As I start drifting off to sleep I hear a sudden thumping against my wall, followed by moans and a distinctive slap. I plead to all that is good to make the thumping and slaps go away. I look over at Prim and see she is still dead asleep. I've seen her sleep through an entire earthquake so I am at least relieved that she won't be awoken by their loud guttural sounds. 

There is no way I can stay in this room now so I reluctantly get out of bed, grab my pillows and blankets and make myself comfortable on the lumpy couch in the den then turn on some mindless television. As luck would have it I end up on a cable news show recapping a big political benefit in Los Angeles. The reporter pulls over Peeta Mellark to ask him about his fathers win and his own plans for the future. His smile is as almost heart stopping beautiful as the leggy redhead that's on his arm. I turn off the television and toss the remote across the room.

I get up and pull my phone and a business card from my purse and type before thinking, “I think we should end our Friday appointments.” I then turn off my phone and toss it across the room next to the remote before curling up on the couch. Perfect end to a fucking perfect day.


	11. Ties and Trenchcoats

_“I can’t stop thinking about our time on the plane together. I need you on my lap again with my hand caressing you between your thighs._ ”

I hear the bell ring for the door to the diner and I look up to see Gale walking in for our agreed to talk. I stuff my phone in my pocket and hope the blush heating my face is not apparent on my cheeks. I definitely should not have texted Peeta last night considering that answer is all I got in reply to my text that we should end it. 

But I need to stop thinking of the blue eyed devil and focus on the man in front of me. “Thanks for meeting me Catnip.” Gale says as I point to a booth for him to sit in.

“I only let my best friend call me that name and at the moment you are barely teetering in the friend category.” I reply, pouring him a cup of coffee.

His head hangs low, shoulders slumping forward as he twirls the cup. This is always a good sign of a regretful apologetic Gale. I will be surprised if he says the words “I’m sorry" though. He has too much damn pride for that.

“Ok Katniss, I deserved that. I may have overreacted last night.” he says looking up at me.

“Although I appreciate you admitting that you may be in the wrong, I hear a big 'but' coming on, so please let it out now. And try to say it with the least amount of insults as possible since you are treading on extremely thin ice.” I say sitting across from him and clasp my hands together on the table.

Gale looks sheepish and can't look me in the eyes because he knows I'm right. “Katniss you... there's...” he stumbles trying to figure out what to say. I try to remain patient with him. The reason I asked him to meet at the diner was so we could keep it civilized in the first place.

He runs his hands hands through his hair and starts again. "Katniss, I've known you for six years and I've waited almost that long for you to make a decision about us." I give him a knowing look and he sighs in exasperation before continuing.

"Ok, so I've fucked around with girls here and there but it doesn't mean I wouldn't drop them if you finally agreed to be mine.”

"What is your point Gale?" I say, getting impatient.

"The point is that there's something different about you these past few visits. I don't think I've ever seen you look this alive, or so sexy." Of course Gale says this while mostly staring at the good amount of cleavage peeping through my the part in my blouse. Stupid push up bra. 

I'm about to protest but he puts his hands over mine. "The point is that I was hoping I was the person who affected you this way, but last night I realized that there is someone else, someone who makes you glow and I guess I lost it." His voice is not at the point of anger like it was last night, but I can tell how unhappy he still is with me and I don't know how to fix it or if I even want to. 

"Katniss is this just a fling or is this more serious?" he asks.

"It's nothing, it won't go anywhere." I stumble over the words, shaking my head, trying to convince myself as well as him.

Gale opens my clenched fists and curls his hands around mind. "Well then you need to give us a chance." he looks at me with pleading grey eyes, a color so close to my own.

I can’t look at him anymore so I focus on his large hands clasped over my small ones. His arms flex impatiently but he doesn’t push me for the answer I'm not sure I can give him because at the moment I feel like an open wound because of Peeta. I know it can't go anywhere with him but until yesterday, I felt like I meant more to him than just a hired prostitute. It really hit home yesterday the truth of our words to each other that we couldn't ever fall in love. When Prim is in college and I finally can leave the brothel, Peeta won't be there waiting for me, he can never be there for me, but Gale might still be if I don’t push him away. The question is do I want anyone there? Love only seems to bring pain and suffering to those who try for it.

"Gale I'm not ready to be in a relationship yet and I won't be until after Prim is in college,” I say, finally making a decision. I take a big breath, look him in the eyes and squeeze his large hands in mine.

“But saying that, let's try dating when I’m here. But only dating Gale, not the friends with benefits sex thing like we had before. I would like to see if we can make this into something, but I don't want to lose you as a friend if this doesn't work out." I hope I convey with my eyes that it would really hurt if I lost our friendship if this didn’t work out.

"You won't lose me as a friend, no matter what." he says breaking into a big smile. "Now, can I call you Catnip again?"

I smile back as best as I can. I don't know if this is exactly the right decision but he deserves for me to try. "Yes, yes you can call me Catnip again."

Gale jumps out of his seat and grabs my face to plant a hard kiss on my lips. "Okay I have to get back to the garage, but would you like to go the the movies tonight after we send Rory and Prim to the homecoming dance?"

"Yes, that sounds good, but I don’t want to watch any romantic shit." I reply.

"No romantic shit," he agrees, kissing me again before he leaves the diner. I sit back and try to push away the memory of soft lips attached to a man with the deepest blue eyes.

I sit there for a while fidgeting with the cup that Gale left behind getting lost in my thoughts when my phone buzzes again. _“I need to feel your soft breasts in my mouth.”_

I stare at the message, reminding myself that I shouldn’t answer back. I came up with many scenarios in my head about his reaction to my text, but I was definitely not expecting this. He knows how to play dirty, the bastard. Sae sits next to me and puts her arm around me tearing me from the phone I’m clutching with white knuckles.

“Hey baby girl.” She says pushing a slice of her pumpkin pie in front of me. It's my absolute favorite, always creamy and perfect so I can't help the moan as I take a big bite. “Are you going to tell ol’ Sae what’s going on?”

“So is this bribery?” I say smiling a little bit at her directness.

“Maybe. You carry the world on your shoulders girl, and it’s looking a little bit heavier right now. You know you can tell me anything. Now what’s going on?”

I put my head on her shoulder and I just let everything spill from my mouth, from meeting Peeta again to Seneca Crane being one of my clients and finally finishing with agreeing to date Gale. It all just spills out and she patiently rubs my shoulder, never interrupting while I softly confess. She's definitely better than any priest, and definitely less judgemental.

“So what should I do Sae?” I ask when I’m finally done, lifting my head to look at her. To my surprise she barks out in laughter.

“Which pickle are you referring to? Seems like there’s a lot of men causing you a heap of trouble right now.” She wipes the tears of laughter from her eyes with her apron. Her reaction is exactly what I would expect from Joanna so I start to scowl.

“Look, I don’t have any answers Kat,” she continues. “I can tell you that Crane is going to be trouble. We can wait and hope to see if he is a flash in the pan like your momma's other boyfriends, but that's a fools errand, especially if that's woman's parents are involved. But I do have some friends in the District's office. I'll contact them and find out what I can about him. And of course you know I'll watch after Prim and make sure she's safe.”

“I’d appreciate that Sae. I don’t want any more surprises concerning him. So in your expert opinion, what do you think about Peeta and Gale?”

“Well, as for your two young men, only you can decide what you’re going to do. Be careful either way. Peeta's a client, and a powerful one at that, so don't open your heart unless you know he's going to give his back to you. As for Gale, I think it might be good for you to date him. It's about time you two make a decisions on things. But if you don't want to be with him let him know sooner than later Katniss. Don't be with him just to forget someone else."

I only nod and breathe out a heavy sigh. Nothing has really changed but telling Sae has taken off at least a little bit of the burden.

"Now child, I only get you for a little bit so I want to see you happy when you’re here. Finish up your pie and let's go and get Prim ready for her dance. It's almost 4pm now so I think she should be done shopping with her friends now,” she says.

“Thanks for taking care of us Sae.” I say trying to smile.

“We take care of each other.” She smiles back at me and the warmth of her hand on my cheek means everything.

She gets up from the booth just as my phone buzzes again. _“I need to run my fingers through your long hair as you look down at me with those beautiful grey eyes.”_ I shovel the rest of the pie in my mouth and it goes down hard before I get up to follow her.

When we get home, Prim is indeed already home sitting on the living room floor with a pile of shopping bags surrounding her as she sorts through everything meticulously. I love my sister but her sense of fashion is definitely better than mine and more expensive. She knows not to ask me for money for frivolous things so we compromised that she would work at Sae’s on the weekends to earn the extra money for what she wanted. In fact, it is her shift I was taking over so she could shop with her friends.

“Oh Katniss! Oh my god, you're finally home! You took forever.” She exclaims turning to me with a distressed look on her face. “I need your help figuring out what to wear and what to do with my hair! It's stupid and just laying there.”

“Hi Little Duck.” I sit down next to her and start to rummage through the massive spoils of mall shopping. “Well I figured we could both use some girly time together and since I am absolutely useless with hairdos I made an appointment for at the salon and for us to get mani pedi’s together in 20 minutes so you will have to abandon your accessories for now.”

“Oh my god Katniss. Thank you!” She says throwing herself so hard at me we both drop flat to the floor. The cruel sister I am, I go directly for her tickle spot which of course sets her laughing hysterically which then sets Sae and I off too. Prim is definitely the bright light in both our lives and we'd do anything to keep her happy.

“All right let’s go before we're late.” I say pulling her up.

In no time we arrive at the salon and she is chatting away about everything and anything that has been going on while I was away. I mostly do more listening than talking, but that’s fine with me. The stylist managed to take Prim’s pin straight hair and put loose curls throughout. They also expertly apply makeup which is not only appropriate for her age but also perfect for a dance.

When we get back to the house it’s a whirlwind of activity including putting on the dress and finding the right jewelry to match it. Cinna’s second dress for Prim is more stunning than the one she wore for homecoming. It is a champagne color organza dress embedded with rhinestones. The A line skirt falls just above her knees and a halter top with a sweetheart neckline complete the look. It floats softly around her whenever she spins. She no longer looks like the sweet little girl I always feel she is but instead a beautiful young woman. I realize it’s time to have a serious sit-down conversation with her. I'm still not ready to tell her what I really do for a living but I need to talk to her about some of the other things that she should know.

“Prim I need to tell you something.” I say as she is adjusting herself in the mirror.

She looks at me through the mirror with a question in her eye. “What is it Katniss?”

“You know that I’ve been saving for your school right?” She nods at me.

“Well I have saved enough so that you can go to Stanford if you make it. Which of course I know you will.”

She turns around beaming at the news. “Oh Katniss really! This has been my dream. Thank you so much.” she says hugging me tightly.

I take her hands and pull back so she can see my face and know how serious I am. “Prim, the money is in a trust for you. Only you can get it and only when you turn 18. I want to make sure you don’t tell anybody about it. Especially mom. I don’t trust her or her new boyfriend. This money is just for you to use and I don’t want you to taking anybody else’s money for college, got it?”

She nods her head assent knowing I’m absolutely serious. “Who’s other money would I use Kat?”

“Your grandparents.” I say knowing she will eventually hear from them.

“Grandparents? We have grandparents? I didn’t know we had any?” she says looking confused.

“That’s how your mom met Seneca, through them. I found out yesterday at the game. Prim I know it may be exciting to meet new family but don't trust them. When we needed them most, they did not lift one finger to help us or their own daughter and that's not what love is about." Prim nods, her face suddenly stern in remembrance.

"I understand. I can't say I'm not curious about them, but Sae, you and I are family and that's what matters," she says giving me her sweet smile. "And Katniss it has been hard for me having you gone, but I know you always make sure I’m okay so in a way it does feel like you are here with me, watching me. Thank you for taking care of me and I love you so much.”

I enfold her in my arms and whisper “We take care of each other,” mirroring what Sae just told me earlier.

__________________________________ 

For the first time in the four years since I've started working at the Kitty Ranch, I miss being there more than home in L.A. This week ends up being it’s own special kind of torture.

Gale and I see each other almost every day of that week. We went to the movies, dinner, and just hung out at the house when I was with Prim. On one hand it is easy being with him. I forgot how much fun it is to be around him; our conversation just flows so easily and we are always joking. Gale is right, our shared interest and comfort with each other make us an easy fit because we are best friends. I wish this translated romantically for me but it hasn’t so far. There are so many moments where I desperately search for something more. We walk down the street and he holds my hand and I feel nothing. He hugs me from behind, taking me by surprise and I have to suppress the urge to pull away. He kisses me goodnight before he leaves the house and I try my hardest to kiss him back, to feel that spark but there is none there to find.

On Tuesday night we get home after everyone is asleep. I could tell that Gale was already getting impatient with his promise to take it slow. He kisses me deeply on the porch, pressing my body against the door and his hips push insistently on mine. I feel his hardness on my stomach and I firmly shove him back before it goes too far and wish him a good night.

I try to tell myself I don’t feel anything because I’ve worked at the brothel too long. I promise myself that once I leave the brothel by this summer, the freedom from the constant guilt will help me feel passion that has been evading me with Gale. 

_“I need to run my tongue on your clit.”_ My phone mocks me with another message from Peeta. My abdomen clenches and now I need to change my panties before I go to bed, my body betraying that I actually have felt passion recently. I hate Peeta Mellark.

Seneca Crane is the other torture I've had to endure all week. I know Crane must have a fancy house in the Hollywood Hills somewhere but he is always at our house. I know it’s for my benefit; he wants to make sure I get the point that he is here to stay and I better get used to it. When I get home from the diner, he is always there sitting on the couch with my mother. He stays over every night and I constantly hear thumping against my wall, my moms sounds mingling with his. I sleep a lot on the couch that week.

He also makes it known that I’m still his to buy if he wants. When no one is looking he touches my ass, or sits next to me and grabs my thigh. He plays a dangerous game, always doing it when someone is in the next room so that I can’t make a big reaction, I can only slip out of arm’s length as quick as possible. He never acknowledges what he is doing, but his message is clear - he paid for me, so he has rights to me. The bastard.

On Wednesday he takes us all to an expensive restaurant, including Sae and Gale, so he can get to know us better. He is a great actor, looking pleased to see me as the daughter of his girlfriend and I hope I'm just as good an actress. While we wait for dessert Crane and mom get our attention to announce they are getting married. There is a moment of silence as Prim, Sae and I exchange glances confirming what we all thought we heard, then we plaster smiles of happiness and congratulate them. I swear to myself I will use my stilettos on his sensitive body parts if he tries to touch me again, especially after their ‘special’ announcement.

I excuse myself to use the bathroom and my phone buzzes again. _“I need to hear your whimpers as I move inside of you my Little Kat.” _That’s it, I can’t stand it anymore.__

 _“I need to feel you inside of me, with your weight on top of me.”_ I type back. I surrender Peeta, you win.

I go into one of the bathroom stalls and I pull my skirt up and insert my hand in my panties. I’m lost in a moment of need thinking about his arms, his chest, his eyes as I circle my clit, biting my lip to keep myself from making a noise as women enter and leave the bathroom. A small moan escapes as I come and I feel a moment of euphoria. I clean myself up, throw my panties in the trash and make my way to back to the table. When Gale puts his hand on my thigh I take a big glup of my wine and start eating my dessert without looking at anyone. My phone buzzes and I sneak a look at his reply, afraid to take my phone out of my purse.

 _“Come back with me on Friday.”_ I don’t answer back.

Thursday comes around and I can’t stop fidgeting. I wish the diner was more busy so that I could just keep moving. Peeta hasn’t written anything back, but he’s waiting for me to make the next move and I’m not ready yet. Sae gives me a dirty look as I drop my third tray of dirty dishes today. I tell her I’m taking a break and I go to the car to try and lie back and relax a little bit. The sun filters through the window, making it nice and warm on this chilly day. I start to doze off when my phone buzzes. I jump for it, but I see it’s just Prim calling.

“Hey what’s up Prim.”

“I don’t have time because I’m in between classes but mom called and said she’s picking me up from school today so she can take me to meet our grandparents. She said you couldn’t make it?” I can hear the confusion in her voice.

“What? I haven’t heard from her all day.” I say getting angry.

“That’s what I thought. Why would she say that?”

“Maybe it’s just a mistake or she is assuming I’ll be with Gale. Don’t worry about it. Just report back on what you find out about them.” I say, lying to her. Seneca told me I wasn’t welcome by my grandparents, and this is definitely a message that they want me to stay far away.

“Ok Kat, I’ll do that but I wish you were coming with me. I gotta go, love you.” Prim replies, sounding a bit sad.

“Love you too. Now get to class!” I hang up and lean my head back trying to keep my anger under control with this surprise new development.

My phone buzzes again and I look down to see a text from Gale. _“Hey I can’t make it over tonight but why don’t you come over to my place tomorrow night. We’ll spend time just the two of us.”_

It only takes a second for me to make my decision. _“Sorry Gale they called me back to work. An account is falling apart. I’ll see you in 3 weeks.”_

 _“Ok Catnip. But no getting out of it when you come down next time ok?”_

_“Ok. Promise.”_ I type back.

I promptly text my answer to Peeta. _“Ok. I can leave after 2.”_ It’s time I took control of at least one situation and my brain is starting to swirl with how I’m going to approach Peeta. As I leave the diner I realize it’s pretty simple and a grin spreads on my face as I realize I know just what to do. You haven’t won yet Peeta. 

That night I tell Sae and Prim I'm leaving but I don't even bother to tell my mom, it's not like she'd care anyway. To make up for not having our girls night, we have sundaes when Prim comes back from meeting our grandparents. The only thing she says about them is that they were rich and intimidating. She doesn't look excited to talk about it and I don't really want to know about them anyway. We end up staying awake until to 2 am watching television and I end up letting her have the day off from school on Friday so we could have a brunch together before I go.

Soon enough it is time to go and I try to stuff away my guilt for leaving a couple days earlier. The closer I get to the airport the harder my heart is beating. I shouldn't be doing this, I don't even know where Peeta's head is, but something feels right for the first time this week.

________________________________________________

“It’s a good thing that I didn’t have to go through TSA Mr. Mellark because I don’t think they would have approved my current state of dress.”

I have just entered the jet to find Peeta on a luxurious couch texting on his phone. Yes, his jet has a couch. I was too busy being pissed at Peeta last time to realize how pimped out his dad’s jet is. How rich are they anyway?

"What state of dress would they not approve of?" A big smile spreads on his face as he gets off the couch. "And I told you to call me Peeta.” he says starting to unbutton my coat to see for himself.

I walk passed him re-buttoning the top of my coat, and sit on the spot he previously occupied, crossing my bare legs and spreading my arms wide caressing the soft leather of the couch beneath my fingertips. The only thing he can see is my black A line trench coat and shiny knee high black leather boots with a 4” heel with a red sole at the bottom.

“I'm waiting to find out if right now you see me as an actual person or just your fuck toy like last week. Once I know, I'll let you see what I’m wearing and I'll call you Peeta." I say, my face showing how completely serious I am.

I may be in a good mood just seeing him, but that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to be punished for his bad behavior. Peeta at least has the good sense to look a little sheepish. He sits down next to me, getting only close enough to take my hand. He looks down at it and gently rubs circles with his thumb for a minute before finally looking up.

"I missed your hands," he says kissing the one he's holding. "I miss every part of you,” he continues kissing my cheek.

“I feel empty every moment I'm not with you." He looks up and his eyes are warm and sincere. I am looking at Peeta, not Mr. Mellark.

"Then why was I just a thing to you last week? Peeta am I just a whore to you?" I know it's sort of hypocritical to ask this question considering he does pay for me, but I thought I meant more to him. At the very least more than just an empty vessel to be filled.

He looks down again, still rubbing circles on my hand before saying, "There are some things I'm battling. I wanted to just get lost in you and I let too much of the world in with me. I'm sorry Katniss."

I use my other hand to lift his head so he looks at me, and I see his apology is real. I am actually surprised I got this much out of him. We haven't exactly been forthcoming with each other.

"Well don't do it again or I won't let you touch me, not one finger tip and any other parts." I say slapping his hand still holding mine, like a parent would a child. I feel compelled to give him anything he wants but I know this is one limit I need to keep if I don’t want to get swallowed up in his darkness.

I lean forward and kiss him on the lips relishing the feel and the taste of them. Peeta lays back and pulls me on top of him, intertwining his right leg with my left. We stay there, just kissing softly, our real way of saying hello and I missed you. Our touches are innocent, my hands in his hair and his hands gripping my waist, giving each other soft pecks on the lips, face, and neck. We stay this way until the stewardess comes in and lets us know we are departing and that we should buckle up.

"So, now can I find out what's under that coat?" He asks after we are in the air and he has dismissed the flight attendant for the rest of the flight. My head is on his shoulder and my left hand has been intertwined with his right ever since we took off.

"Why don't you find out?" I say leaning into him. He releases my hand and deftly opens the buttons. When he pushes the coat off he takes a deep intake of breath when he discovers I'm completely naked underneath. The only thing I am wearing are my knee high boots. Peeta’s eyes pop as he starts to read my body like braille. He uses his hands to touch every part of me, from my shoulders, to my back, my ass and my legs.

I loosen Peeta’s tie as he goes in for a deep kiss and I pull it over his head and put it over mine. There is a look of confusion on his face as I get up from the couch and sit in a chair across from him, crossing my legs and twirling the tie. He gets up to follow me and when he reaches down to kiss me again I plant my heel squarely on his chest so he can’t come any closer.

"I think it should be ladies choice today. It's only fair play after last week, don’t you agree?" I say pushing him back.

He sits back on the couch and swallows hard. “Ok my little Kat. What do you want?” His voice is rough from need, and I love to see him struggle to contain it. I smirk at him and open my legs, lifting one over the chair seat. This is going to be fun.

“I want you to sit there and watch. Don’t touch yourself. Don’t even move.” I order.

I proceed to slide my right hand slowly down my body until I reach my opening. I am already wet from the little bit Peeta touched me and I am sure he can tell. I look him directly in the eye and start to rub my clit slowly. I move my left hand to my breast and start to rub and pinch it.

“Oh God Kat.” Peeta manages to say.

He stares intently at my movements, his hands tightly fisted at his at his sides, as he tries not to move. I can’t help but smirk as I see him in this tortured state. I start rubbing faster as I pinch my nipple and my hips start rotating to the feeling rushing to my abdomen and legs. Peeta licks his lips and I imagine what it would feel like to have him run his tongue up my slit and my whole body clenches as an orgasm rips through me. I throw my head back and moan, and I hear Peeta mumble “Fuck!”

When I recover I get up and walk over to Peeta. His eyes are shining with lust and I can tell he wants to touch me so badly, but I haven’t given him permission yet. I bend slowly in front him him, letting my breasts swing in front of his face as I reach over for my coat and put it back on.

“Kat what are you trying to do to me?” he says, his face in agony as I sit on his lap. I can feel how hard he is right now, but I think I’ll just leave him that way.

“I’m trying to teach you a lesson Peeta. You’ll remember next time to be a good boy.” He just nods his head, a look of astonishment in his eyes as I kiss his nose.

“Now didn’t you text me that you wanted me on your lap with your hand between my thighs?” I ask, making myself comfortable on him.

“Yes, Kat I did.” He mumbles. He wants so much more than that right now, but that's all he's going to get.

“I’ll allow it.” I say putting my head on his shoulder. His warm hand snakes between my legs and moves close to my center but stops just before reaching it. I sigh with contentment at the feeling of being so close to him and we stay that way until it’s time for landing.

Poor Peeta stays visibly hard all the way back to the Ranch. I make sure to touch and kiss him enough to keep him aroused but not more than that. He is very complying and allows it, never once pushing for more. He knows I need this, that I need to be in control for once.

By the time we get to the Ranch, I have turned myself on just as much with my actions. I don’t bother to say hello to anybody as I walk swiftly past them, pulling Peeta behind me, going straight to my room. I need him inside me now.

“So what does the lady request now?” he ask as I wrap my arms around his neck and his hands pull me tight into his body so I can feel his hardness against my stomach.

"Peeta, please fulfill my text request. I need to feel your weight." I say before I kiss him insistently, my tongue thrusting into his mouth.

Peeta and my hands fumble around each others as we work to get off my coat again. He then lifts me in his arms and tosses me on the bed, making me laugh.

“Let’s keep those boots on shall we?” he says stroking my leg.

He quickly pulls off his shirt and sighs in relief as he releases his beautiful hard cock from his pants. Peeta walks next to the bed and I reach out and take his cock in my hand, feeling it's weight. Every damn night all I could think of was this. Finally having him claim me as his again.

"Peeta I need you in me now," I plead.

He takes out a condom and rolls it on quickly. He crawls over and slowly puts all his weight on me, pressing me in the bed. It feels so good, I don't want to be anywhere else. I wrap my legs around his torso and I reach between us to grab him and line it up with my entrance. He thrusts in quickly and I cry out in pleasure at the fullness of him inside me.

"Oh God Katniss," he says as his head lays next to my shoulder. "You feel so damn good. Fuck you for doing that to me."

“Fuck you too.” I say grinning at my success. His face holds an expression of admiration at my statement. 

With that he starts to thrust at a steady hard pace that I match. The close contact of our bodies create a friction that has both of us sweating quickly. I feel his chest moving over my breasts creating a wonderful sensation, that I can't get enough of. I grab his ass to urge him deeper, feeling drugged by Peeta surrounding me with his weight, smell and sounds. 

My whole body sparks with the feeling of him pushing in and out of me, and I’m going to come harder than I ever have before. I know today that we are on the same page sexually. We both want to get lost in each other, but please the other as well. This makes our the sex more intense, more passionate than it's ever has been before since we can't get enough of each other.

"Peeta I'm going to come!" I can't help but pant and he picks up the pace even more. We are completely slick with our sweat now and he licks the moisture collecting on my clavicle. This sets me off and I clench around him, screaming his name. Peeta follows soon after, accidentally pinching my nipple really hard as he calls out my name too.

We look at each other and suddenly we're both laughing. Part of it is the euphoria of what we just did and another big part is relief that we are with each other. He rolls to his side and pulls me with him so we can still stay connected. I never want this feeling to end. I feel whole when he’s here with me. 

Peeta only stays for a few more hours. We rotate dozing, touching, then fucking two more times. He leaves me naked in bed except for his tie still around my neck. He kisses me on the forehead promising to come back next week. I pull his face down to kiss me hard on the lips as our tongues dance one more time before he gets dressed and leaves the room.

I snuggle into my bed wrapped in a haze of contentment from the warmth of being with Peeta. I can feel dark clouds intruding on the edges of my mind about what I'm going to do with Gale, guilt over leaving Prim early, and Seneca marrying my mom but I push that all away as all I can think of the past few hours. I am on the edge of sleep when my brain pops awake with the realization that Peeta never really answered my question about if he thought I was just a whore. I groan and just bury my head deeper in the pillows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter ended up being pretty long. I think from here on out I will only be able to give an update once a week as the plot gets more complicated and to give my beta time to review. But I will do my best to have it be no more than a week.


	12. Things to Be Grateful For

"Brainless, I need your help with the turkey! Is it ready yet?" Joanna yells at me from down the hallway. 

"I'm on the phone with Prim. I'll be with you in a minute." I fiercely whisper as I cover the phone so Prim doesn't hear.

"Well get your ass over here ASAP because it'll be your fault if the dead bird is ruined." And with that, she dives back into the kitchen.

"Who are you talking too?" Prim asks when I return to the phone.

"Oh it's Joanna. We're having Thanksgiving together since we are stuck with each other." I reply trying to sound casual.

"Katniss I wish you were here. It's not the same without you. When will you be down again?" I can hear the distress and sadness fill her voice, and guilt hits me hard in the gut because I have to constantly lie to her about why I'm not there. I’m not used to hearing my baby sister sound so unhappy and I hate being the cause of it. 

"I'm sorry Prim, my boss is on my ass to get a contract done by this weekend, but I will be back by Sunday evening. So what is Sae and Hazelle cooking this time?" I ask trying to steer it to something positive. I wait for Prim to answer but there is only silence on the other line. 

"Prim?" I finally ask, trying to prompt the usually talkative girl to respond.

"We aren't doing dinner with Sae and the Hawthornes this year," she finally answers back quietly.

"Wait, what? I'm confused, Prim, what aren't you telling me?" I ask, a sinking feeling settling at the pit of my belly.

"Mom is making me go with her and that creepo Seneca to our grandparents house. Sae wasn't invited to come because it was an exclusive dinner with some important people. So Sae is still going to have dinner with the Hawthornes. I just found out this morning and I'm trying to be okay about it, but..." she breaks off, clearly upset before continuing. "Oh Katniss I feel horrible. I don't want to go. I don't even like our grandparents, they're always telling me what I'm doing wrong and what I should be doing different, even though, they're basically strangers." Prim finishes with a tiny sob that breaks my heart. 

I want to rush home right then and give Prim a hug, but I have a feeling even if I were home I'd somehow find myself mysteriously off the invitation list. Not that I can leave the Kitty Ranch anyway. Even if I didn't have my standing appointment with Peeta, Cato would definitely make sure I didn't go home early and I'd probably have to sleep with three times the men to satisfy his quota, or worse I'd have to sleep with him. 

"Prim, please don't cry. You know you’re awesome right, don’t listen to those people. We'll just have our own little podunk Thanksgiving on Sunday when I get there. This is just a stupid fancy dinner you’re going to, nothing more. We'll invite the Hawthornes too and make it a big fun thing. Who needs to do it on Thursday anyway?"

"Ok" Prim says shakily. "I gotta go, mom's calling me. I miss you Kat. Come home soon"

"I miss you too Little Duck. I'll see you in a few days. And tell Sae to call me when she gets home okay? I love you." I say trying to sound positive, but I'm not sure about my acting skills at the moment. 

"Love you too." With that Prim hangs up the phone and I'm left trying to calm my anger. I could deal with Seneca if he just kept with my mother, but now he's making Prim unhappy. And I don't even know about these so-called grandparents. How dare they just barge into our lives and make judgement calls. More, than anything right now, I really really hate my mother, after all she's put us through, and now this. We would have been well rid of her a lot time ago. After I feel my emotions are somewhat under control I leave to check on the meal so Joanna gets off my back. 

I am so exhausted right now and I’m trying to keep upbeat for the girls but it's so hard when I feel like I’m being run ragged. Well actually I'm being fucked ragged. Thanksgiving is usually a skeleton crew at the Kitty ranch since Haymitch and Effie like to give time off to as many girls as possible so they can visit their families. But thanks to our not so beneficient owner, this year is the exact opposite considering we have a full house of very unhappy women. 

Despite Haymitch's best efforts to protect the girls, Snow is determine to squeeze as much money out of the ranch as possible. The greedy bastard wants every girl to sleep with at least 3 men or make up to $2,000 a day. To ensure this happens, he hired his asshole nephew Cato to be a recruiter and supervisor at the ranch. Now it's his job to go to Vegas and bring back men to the Ranch and he has his little poodle Glimmer to help him do it. When Cato is gone recruiting it's great, peaceful and relaxed because it's business as usual, but when he's here, it’s just a total disaster. Cato doesn’t bring the high rollers like he should, that would at least be something. No, instead he had the 'brilliant' idea to start “The Kitty Bus”. He rolls in with a huge bus of low class drunk party boys from Vegas looking for a cheap time. Any girl who isn’t currently fucking someone has to be in the lineup no matter what, not that Joanna and I ever listen. 

The new girls have it the worst because they usually don’t have anybody booked so they find themselves trying to entertain 2 or 3 guys in the bar at a time when the Kitty Ranch is overloaded. And it's most of the time, it's impossible to get them to actually use our "services" anyway, it's like we're a cheesy tourist stop where they gawk, point, and try to grope all while being as cheap as possible. So what's the point of bringing these losers over anyway if they bring no real money and just drink all the booze. 

The worst part is that Cato is now the one who controls if a girl can come or go from the Ranch. He never gives extra time off unless he gets a sexual favor from the girl, and I'm too stubborn to give him the satisfaction which is why I couldn't get off early for Thanksgiving. I dread getting anywhere near him, every time I see him, the look of scorn he gives me is enough to set me on edge. He hates me more now than ever because he can't anywhere with me and push me around like the other girls. Besides that, my time is almost always reserved so he burns with frustration that he usually can’t get me on the party bus lineup. 

Working at a brothel is not ideal, but at least we made a little dysfunctional family. Now, with this whole frustrating situation, it has been demoralizing for everyone. All the girls are tired, grumpy with ridiculous arguments breaking out all the time. Effie, bless her, tries so hard to keep a sunny face on despite the fact that she has completely lost control of the girls. As for Haymitch, he's practically disappered, I can't but feel like he has abandoned us since he's holed himself in his office with only whiskey as a friend.

To everyone's relief, Cato would be leaving shortly and gone until tomorrow so now we are trying to make the best of it by having a big Thanksgiving lunch together as a family. When I get to the kitchen, dinner is completely under control because of the adept hands of Rue, Annie and Delly so I don’t know why Joanna was bitching for me to get in there. All I need to do is baste the turkey one more time and check how the other sides dishes are going, but otherwise we are pretty much ready to go. 

“Thanks ladies for helping with lunch.” I say, so proud of my friends teamwork. “Joanna can you get the girls, Thresh & Darius and hustle them into the VIP room to sit down for our fabulous meal? I'll go grab Effie and Haymitch.”

“Sure thing Jefe.” Joanna says with a salute. I just shake my head at her weirdly cheerful mood today, very atypical of our surly Jo. She has no real family, so maybe it’s because we're all together for Thanksgiving?

As I walk down the hall towards Effie I hear Glimmer’s high pitched voice complaining so I slow down to do a little eavesdropping. 

“....it’s only right I get it Effie. Why are you treating her so special.” I hear Glimmer whine. 

“You cannot have her room Glimmer. She is the best girl in the house. She is seeing the Senator’s son tomorrow and she just saw that media tycoon this week. The two of them easily clear what you bring in a week, maybe two. I won’t have those men get treated to anything but the best.”

“But I’m bringing in all those men with Cato. It’s not fair Effie...”

"You are bringing in a bunch of degenerates that bring down the value of the house. You give them half of our services for free before they even get here." Effie says, her voice dead serious, completely void of her usual twitter.

"Cato tell this painted clown I should get Katniss' room" Glimmer's voice reaches a pitch so high, it's a wonder ears aren't bleeding. I can't believe she just called Effie that. My nails painfully bite into my palms I'm so mad.

"Glimmer has been very useful in our promotion Effie. Dump the bitch in the basement for all I care, she doesn't do me any good." I hear him rumble. 

"No Cato, my decision is final," Effie is surprisingly not backing down. She can be a lot to take but under all that makeup and fluff she does really care and always watches after us. "Call Snow if you want, but he will agree with me on this one because money is his bottom line. I don't want to hear it from either of you." A feeling of glee bubbles up hearing her firm words. 

I hear the slam of a door then the clomp of heavy heels and big feet coming my way as Glimmer and Cato turn the corner and see me standing there. Glimmer sends me a look that could turn me into stone if I wasn't so amused by her shut down right now. She purposely bumps my arm as she passes me in the hallway grumbling, "Move out of my way you piece of trash."

I'm about to retort but then Cato is up in my face, using his whole body to intimidate me.

"Well Diana, if it isn't the pet whore of the Kitty Ranch. What is so magical about that snatch of yours that you are so protected here?" he says, his mouth practically spititng with disgust.

"You're not worth my time Cato, don't you have some losers to blow in Vegas?" I retort pushing past him. 

His face turns red and he clenches his fists. I know I have to stop antagonizing him but I don’t have the patience to deal with his shit right now. I have too many other things pressing in on my life to worry about one more thing so I refuse to let him intimidate me. Haymitch would be furious with my stubborness, but I don't care right now.

"You've avoided it so far, but I think you need to some retraining by me Diana. You need a real man to tame that wild cat out of you."

"Please Cato, you wouldn't know what a real man was if you had his dick down your throat."

"You fucking..."

"Cato, let's go. I want to get out of this stupid place." Glimmer says slinking behind Cato and wrapping her arms around his waist, inadvertently distracting him.

"Yes Cato, you don't want to keep your men waiting," I say giving him a wink and then walking to Effie's office without giving him another glance. I can feel his eyes on the back of my head before I hear the front door slam. Yes, Haymitch would definitely be mad at me today.

I take a deep breath of relief that those two wastebags are finally gone before walking to Effie's open reception window and leaning through it so I can get her attention. I find Effie slumped in her chair rubbing her temples. She looks like a sad deflated bag of skittles. Her usual effervescent self was nowhere to be seen. "Hey Effie, lunch is almost all set, are you ready to come?"

"Oh Katniss, how lovely that you arranged all of this for us. I really appreciate all you do for the Ranch," she says with a tremulous smile.

"Is everything ok Effie?" I ask. I go around to the door and enter the office, bending down so I can look into her eyes. The hard attitude she had with Glimmer and Cato is completely gone and her eyes are now shining with tears and her lips are trembling.

"Oh Katniss, why did Snow send that horrible nephew of his to the ranch? Haven't I been doing a good job? Those terrible men he brings will give the house such an unseemly reputation and my girls are so all overworked," she sniffles and brings out a bright pink lacy handerchief to blow her nose. I didn't even know people still used handkerchiefs anymore. 

I pat Effie's on the arm awkwardly and I try to console her as best I can. I'm not really used to a down Effie, she's always so perky, so I don't even know how to begin to comfort her. "It'll be alright Effie. You know Snow goes through these phases and then he'll forget about all of us again. And Haymitch says he's working on a solution." I say in a soothing tone.

"Oh Haymitch." Effie sniffs harder. "He's so mad at me he won't even let me service him anymore. I feel like I’m going to shrivel up down there. I miss his penis so much..." she cries harder and throws her arms around me. I pat her back, wishing pretty hard that I was imagining things and she didn't just confess that to me. 

I hear a man clearing his throat behind me and I turn around to find Haymitch standing there, eyes narrowed as usual but there is also a small smirk on his face. I turn back around to see Effie with her eyes popping out in embarrassment that he overheard her confession. Haymitch strides into the room as we both stand up and he just looks directly at Effie while saying, "Katniss, don’t wait for us to start lunch." 

I walk out quickly to get out of their way but not before seeing Haymitch grab Effie fully on the ass, pulling her close and kissing her strongly on the lips. I can't help but chuckle a little bit at this whole thing. Although I don't want to think about what they do, it's like seeing fighting parents make up, and I can't help but feel reflief that at least something is going back to normal. 

"Where's Effie and Haymitch?" Rue asks as I enter the VIP where I find everyone still waiting. 

"Umm, they are working on business stuff. They said to just eat without them." I answer trying not to give away what I just witnessed. 

"Well that business better be fucking Effie because Haymitch has been a pain in the ass since he shut her out." Joanna yells out making everyone laugh. 

"Can we get to eating now?" Delly whines, so we all settle down at the table and begin passing around the large amount of delicious smelling food.

The meal passes pleasantly since we all finally have a chance to relax and have fun hanging out with each other. I notice that Rue and Thresh are sitting awfully close to each other at the end of one of the tables quietly talking to each other like they are the only two in the room. Everywhere else wine is being liberally poured and the conversation gets louder and cruder as the meal goes on. Joanna throws her arm around Delly while taking a shot, blatantly grabbing her boob, which Delly doesn’t seem to mind at all. Bristel and Darius look like siblings with their matching red hair and smiles while laughing about something random. Surprisingly Clove is actually participating and might actually be enjoying herself just a little. She doesn’t exactly look happy, but I don’t think her sour face is capable of that expression. Rumor has it that she had a falling out with Glimmer over Cato, although it is beyond me why they would be fighting over him. As for my part, I’m trying to pay attention to Madge telling me about her current favorite client of the month but my mind keeps cycling between what Prim is doing and seeing Peeta tomorrow. 

Haymitch and Effie finally come in just as we are ready to serve dessert. Haymitch has a smug look on his face which is better than his usual scowl, not to mention his pant zipper is undone. Effie on the other hand can’t seem to walk in a straight line, her skirt appears to be backwards and she has the tell tale sign of a woman who's been completely undone, evidenced by the dents in her usually perfectly coiffed hair. They get whoops and hollers when they come in which makes Effie blush as she completely ignores us and goes directly to making herself a plate. Haymitch's only reaction is to go and pour himself a drink at the bar.

After a few minutes he booms out, "Effie and I have an announcement," startling everyone into silence as they stops their conversations to listen. 

"Since we all seem to be free today from that jackass Cato, anyone who doesn't have a current appointment and wants to take the night off can. Just be back by 2 pm tomorrow."

The girls squeal at the unexpected freedom making Haymitch cringe and take a deep swig of his drink. I have never seen a room clear faster. After the dust clears, Annie, Joanna, Delly, Rue and Madge are the only girls who are left behind since all of them, except for Rue, are like me and have appointments tonight. There's no real point for any of us to leave but we're all still gratful for the peace and quiet of an empty Ranch. I'm also super grateful they didn't abandon me to cleaning up the Thanksgiving carnage since they help wash dishes and put the extra food away while Thresh and Darius breakdown the VIP room. 

Once the kitchen is clean we settle in our little living area with the last of the wine and squish up on the couches to rest before our clients arrive. I’m pleasantly stuffed and tired, zoning out when Madge asks me, “So who are you seeing today Katniss?” 

“I’m seeing Cinna. He doesn't believe in a holiday celebrating, to quote 'the destruction of a noble race who were kind enough to give food'. So he decided to come up and ‘take advantage of his muse’. Whatever that means." I reply.

"It's too bad we couldn't take advantage of the day off like the other girls." Madge says sadly.

"Cinna is more like a friend so I don't mind. I'm just grateful Cato is gone today and the house is going to be quiet." I say yawning before putting my head on Rue's shoulder. 

"Hey, we never talked about what we're thankful for. We should go around," Delly pipes in. She twirls her wine class with a flourish spilling it on her boobs causing her to curse under breath, but before she has the chance to reach for a napkin, Joanna takes the opportunity to lick the red droplets off her chest with her long tongue causing Delly to giggle before she pushes her off. 

"Annie you go first." She continues after she catches her breath. 

Annie fiddles with the lace on her slip before quietly replying "I'm grateful that I get to see Finnick tomorrow." 

"You really like this one don't you?" Rue asks. She just blushes and nods her head not quite looking at us. 

"Okay your turn Kat," Delly says.

I just shrug my shoulders not bothering to lift my head up. "Like I said, I'm grateful Cato is not here. And that he hasn't gotten me to fuck him yet." All the girls heartedly agree to this as each continues to stubbornly avoid him as well.

"How about you Jo?" Rue asks.

"I'm grateful that my client is not going to be my future stepfather." Joanna says reaching over and slapping me on the shoulder. 

"What the fuck Mason. Why are you bringing up that now?" I say lifting my head and scowling at her. I internally curse myself for even telling my friends in the first place about my fucked up situation. 

"Because you dropped it like a shit bomb on us over a week ago and then didn't give us any details. So I want to know what's the what," she says with her serious face on and I know I can't get out of not telling her anything this time. I look around and the other girls have my full attention, waiting expectantly for me to give them the dish. 

"It's my business Jo. I don't have to tell you anything." I answer feeling defensive. "There isn't anything to tell anyway. He's got my mom wrapped around his greasy finger and of course my suddenly appearing grandparents adore him. Not to mention, now they want Prim to be their own special doll. And I'm here, not knowing what to tell my family about my life and forced to have this dick permanently in my life now." I collapse back on the couch after spilling everything out. I guess I actually have been keeping it in.

"Wasn't Sae trying to find out more details about him from one of her people? Did she find anything?" Rue asks.

"She hasn't found much, and what she has found out isn't good. Her friends in the justice system says he's corrupt as they come. Seneca has his fingers in a lot of dirty business but he's good at erasing his trail and looking honest in public. Not much I can do about that." I cross my arms as I shrink further back on the couch and let out a long breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Well keep looking Kat. You never know when finding something dirty on him will help you out." Madge pitches in. I have to agree with her, I can't let him hold all the cards and I'm determined to get rid of the creep. 

"Ok somebody else talk about what they're thankful for and stop talking about me." I say trying to turn the conversation into a different direction. The less I think about Crane the better. 

Rue is about to speak up when Thresh comes in asking if she's is ready to head out. She nods her head blushing and we all look at her with inquiring eyes.That girl has definitely been holding out on us and inquiring minds want to know. She gives us a wave and pops up and out quickly before we have a chance to ask. Effie enters the room right after Rue leaves looking like her old self, all chipper and bossy, it's good to see her back in bitchy form.

"Well ladies the afternoon is fading. You better get ready for your appointments. I don't want any haggard looking faces tonight." 

"My guy has a haggard face fetish." Joanna says not moving. 

Effie just gives her a frustrated look but I take that as my cue to get up and have a little siesta for a bit. The only thing Cinna requested I wear was a plain pair of black silk panties so as the time gets closer to our appointment, I wonder what he has in mind. Usually, I'd be resentful that I couldn't take off like the other girls, but I'm so happy it's my friend coming and can't wait to see him as he is for sure my favorite client. Well 2nd favorite client, after Peeta. 

___________________________________

 

"This is all you want me to do Cinna?"

"Yes, I told you I needed to take advantage of my beautiful Muse and today is the perfect chance to do it." He says as his hand takes long strokes on the paper not missing a beat. 

What Cinna had failed to tell me when he made his appointment was that he had no intention of sleeping with me. He literally wanted me to be his muse by sketching me in new dress ideas. He told me he finds his creativity is the most productive when I’m pole dancing for him in just the black panties he requested. While I turn, twist and swing my legs over my head, Cinna is sitting on my bed in a simple tight t-shirt and dark jeans, barefoot, with a sketchpad on his knee as as his hand moves swift assuredness while watching me. Apparently I’m the inspiration for his new Fire collection and he sees me as the flame of his creations as I twirl for him. 

I actually like pole dancing and I was surprised to discover when I started working at the Ranch that I’m pretty darn good at it. Everything is a sweet beautiful blur as I twirl on the pole, making my worries disappear. Now I'm happy to discover, it's even better when the man looking at me is doing it with an artistic eye rather than a lusty one. 

"I'm glad I decided to come today because love is looking so good on you. It's makes drawing for the flame theme even easier." Cinna says casually.

"What are you talking about?" I say stumbing slightly mid twirl.

"It's written all over you Katniss, in every move you make. You're practically glowing with it," he says his pencil never ceasing it's scratching movements on the paper. 

"I'm not in... do I really glow to you?" What is Cinna seeing that I'm missing? I'm not in love with Peeta. It’s impossible to be in love with him. It’s just the mind blowing sex that adds that extra bit of glow he probably sees. Every interlude we have seems better than the last. For the past few weeks to my great relief, Peeta has kept the darkness in check. Some days are better than others, but he still hasn’t acted out like that shitty day but instead has been a very considerate lover. But I still don't understand how Peeta can have such an effect on me that I'm now god damn glowing?

"Yes you are Katniss. And I like it, it helps me with my design ideas. I'm happy to see you shining this way. You’ve been sacrificing pieces of yourself far too long and you deserve something to keep for yourself."

"Well don't be." I grumble. He gives me a questioning look and pats the space next to him on the bed. He doesn’t push me to explain myself as I lie down on my stomach with my chin resting on the back of my hands lost in thought for a moment. 

“He’s a client Cinna,” I finally say. “Not only that, he has a high public profile. Being found with someone like me would be a career killer for him. There is no way it could work and he pretty much told me that.” I turn my head towards him, lying my cheek on my hand to see his reaction. Cinna gently puts down his pencil and moves to pull my loose hair away from my face.

“Have you asked him what he's feeling Katniss? Have you talked to him about any of it? You’re not one to let yourself feel anything, so if you are, there has to be a reason for it,” He says gently, staring me directly in the eye. 

I am mesmerized by his warm hazel eyes staring kindly down at me. He always knows how to open me up, make feel comfortable. His eyes say I can trust him with anything. 

“We don’t talk Cinna, not really. I think it’s easier for both of us if we don’t. I know so little about him but I can’t seem to shake the connection I have with him. I don’t want to feel this way about him. It’s like a scary dark road where I know I’ll end up hurt at the end.” My heart is so full saying this I feel like it’s going to burst from the pain. We haven’t even reached the end of the road and it's so painful thinking how I'll eventually lose him like I've lost everything in my life. I take a shaky breath trying to push all my dark thoughts away. 

Cinna moves his hand to my lower back and starts rubbing it in soothing circles. I can feel my body start to relax as I let the fear of the unknown go and my eyes drop closed as silence fills the room for a little bit. 

“Katniss you need to talk to him.” He says after awhile. “You can get hurt just as much in ignorance as you can in knowledge. But knowing always helps you be prepared. And you might be surprised at the solutions you find together.” 

“Thank you Cinna,” I say as I nod my head. He is right, I need to talk to Peeta and find out more about him as well as us; if I even fit in his life at all beyond this bedroom. 

“Well you aren’t paying me to hear my problems.” I say, pushing myself off the bed and returning to the pole. I'm apprehenive but I also already feel lighter knowing that I'll have the chance to have a discussion with Peeta tomorrow and see where he stands. I just hope I'm not being being a stupid idealistic whore. As I twirl on the pole again, my mind starts to clear of all the buzzing nonsense and I realize that not once did I associate the word “love” with Gale. That will be a much tougher conversation to have.

__________________________________________

Friday is finally here and I am bursting with excitement waiting for Peeta. He told me last week that he would spend the night so fortunately, we will be having much more time with each other than we usually do. Thinking on Cinna's words I know this is the perfect time to do more than just have sex. I realize that I really want to know all I can about him, and him about me. I haven’t shared with someone in a long time, but Peeta’s the first person that I want to. 

He'll be here at noon and I have an hour to go so I’m chatting with the Rue in the front lounge in the tiny tank and silk shorts he loves to see me in when a delivery man comes to the door. You can tell he is new to this route because his eyes are wide as saucers as he gets a glimpse inside the brothel with all the skimpily clad girls wandering around. Once Effie signs for the package she trots into the room full of excitement and hands the huge box to me. The girls in the room are of course curious so they instantly start crowding around the couch I’m sitting on. When I open it I find a smaller pink box tied with a black ribbon from an expensive lingerie store in Vegas. I just stare at it, afraid of the contents of both the letter and box might hold. 

“Well, are you going to open it?” Delly says impatiently to me. I just hand her the envelope without looking at her and she tears it open. 

“Wear this today with your hair out. There's no signature.” 

I hand the box to Delly as well as she will get more pleasure out of opening it then I ever will. She excitedly fumbles with the ribbon and pulls from the tissue paper a beautiful corset. The girls all giggle as they take in the blood orange corset with delicate gold flowers woven throughout the bodice and with a gold back ribbon to tie me in. The corset just hits below my breasts the shape scooping below them gently. Rue finds in the box a sheer red thong that matches the corset, a gold garter belt and nude thigh high stockings with a back seam. Being in the business of sex we all pretty much have a corset in our closet so we are well acquainted with the pricing. This one was obviously custom made and must have cost a fortune. 

Bristel jumps next to Delly to see what else is in the box and takes out a shoe box. I nod my head in permission to open it and she pulls out 6 inch Christian Louboutin gold shoes. This really sets the girls off twittering like little birds as they pass all the pieces around chatting how sexy and beautiful everything is as I just sit there in stunned silence. Unlike everyone else, I know this is not something to be happy about. This means I will not be getting Peeta today, I will be getting the esteemed Mr. Mellark. And Mr. Mellark never wants to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the plot is taking longer to write than I intended so the story will be two chapters longer. Please forgive!
> 
> 3/25 To all my faithful readers I will be concentrating on the Prompts in Panem challenges so the next chapter will be up a little later than usual. I look forward to when I can post it!


	13. The Binds That Tie Us

I feel like a complete and absolute idiot right now. While Effie and the girls chatter excitedly around me about Mr. Mellark and how they wish a rich and handsome man like him would be their regular client all I want to do is scream. What was I thinking? Oh yeah, talk to him, get to know him, hah! How totally naive can I be? I should know better by now considering what life has shown me. I was being a moony teenager trying to live out a fantasy instead of accepting the reality of being a fucking prostitute. Peeta Mellark does not want to know me, he never has and he didn’t even lie to me about that. His sweetness probably has been spurts of pity and sentimentality from knowing me when I was younger. What he sent me today makes it perfectly clear what he really thinks about me. It’s funny what you can get from some scraps of satin and lace.

“Katniss do you want me to help you put this on?”

“What?” I ask feeling dazed and lost. 

“Katniss, Mr. Mellark should be coming soon. Do you want me to help you put this on?” asks Rue putting her hand gently on my shoulder, a look of concern on her face. 

“Yes, that would be great Rue.” I answer trying to focus on her face, and not the dizzying thoughts swirling around in my head. 

We get up and she gathers the scattered items from the girls then walk back to my room in complete silence. Rue occasionally steals quick glances at me, trying to gauge my emotions and ultimately knowing it's not a good moment to chat. She knows me better than anyone, even perhaps Sae, and that’s why I know she was the only one who lost excitement over the box once she saw my reaction. 

When we get into my room I immediately strip out of my clothes, stuff them in a drawer and swiftly pull my hair out of it’s braid. I turn around and stare at my naked body in the mirror trying to see it’s appeal. Rue walks up behind me and hugs me tightly around my arms, putting her head on my shoulder. I silently squeeze one of her hands, grateful for her unfailing support and she squeezes me a little tighter before letting me go.

“Are you ready to put this on?” she asks waving the corset by it’s strings. 

I nod, and she loosens the laces in the back, and then puts it around me. I turn around so we both can start latching the front until it's completely closed. I then turn back around and take a tight hold of the dresser while she aggressively tugs the strings taught. I take a sharp intake of breath as I feel it pull my ribcage in and grip the dresser edges tighter so I don't lose my balance. 

“Katniss can I ask you something?” Rue asks as she finishes up by tying the ribbon into a perfect bow. I look up at her through the mirror and just nod my head yes.

“What's going on with you and Mr. Mellark? I’ve never seen you look more happy than when he’s coming for a visit. But today was totally different, especially after you opened that box. Those gifts mean something don’t they? Something you don’t like.”

I walk away from her and slide on the red thong and pull up the garter belt. I then sit on the bed and start rolling on the thigh highs. 

“Peeta can be one of the most thoughtful kindest people I know. When I look into his eyes, he shows so much care for me, like I’m someone to be cherished.” I finally answer. It would be too hard to look her in the eye while I confess so instead I concentrate on snapping the stockings into the garter. 

“But then he has these dark moments where I cease to exist as a person. The sex is rough and intense and I am reminded of what I am, a prostitute, to be used and nothing more. When Mr. Mellark sent me all this,” I angrily gesture at what I’m wearing, “I know that I am just his fuck toy. It makes me feel worse than being with a stranger who comes in just to use me for sex. Just when he makes me feel good I come crashing back to reality. I feel like I have been given something precious just to have it snatched away.”

I finish dressing by sliding on my very expensive new heels and rotate my ankles, admiring how pretty they look. It hurts so much to have these worries swimming around my head, let alone voicing them out loud. Rue sits next to me and slides her small arm around me and gives me a side hug.

“You really care about him don’t you?” she asks.

“More than I should Rue. Please don't hold it against me." I say with a humorlous laugh. "But if there is one thing I’m good at, it’s closing my heart so don't worry about me.” And what I say is true, I can feel myself emotionally shutting down as I speak, I am ready to write him off. Mr. Mellark is just another rich client I start to repeat to myself over and over again. 

“I should finish getting ready,” I say getting up, making it clear that I am done talking about it.

“Be careful ok?” I look at her and try hard to smile. “Ok. And thanks for listening.” I reply. 

She closes my door and I head to the bathroom to add red lipstick and dark eye shadow to my face so I have more of a sexy vixen look. I shake my hair out and add some hairspray. I am satisfied to find someone who doesn't look like me when I look into the mirror. The woman I see in the mirror has a corset that fits her to a tee, enhancing her small but perky breasts and gives her an hourglass shape with hips jutting out just so. With the smokey eyes and red lips she looks sexy, a woman who knows what she is doing, knows what she is good at. The most important part is that it’s a face devoid of any emotion except for lust. I walk out of the bathroom, put on a short black silk kimono to hide my breasts and walk back to the main room. Tonight, Mr. Mellark will be getting Diana.

__________________________________________

Later in the evening, when I enter the room the girls descend upon me to take in the whole sexy ensemble. I plaster a fake smile as I slip off my robe and turn around slowly for them with my arms out wide, for once not shy about putting myself on display. 

“Look at your waist it’s so tiny. And I would kill for that butt. Diana can I be you?” Little Brittany says with a sigh. Ever since I took on Cato because of how he was treating her she has practically idolized everything I've done to my great discomfort. 

"Well look at you, I think I'm seeing myself in a mirror." Joanna says with a smirk as she enters the room. She saunters over to me, looks me up and down before smacking me hard on the ass. "You better let me borrow that corset when your done with it. It make those puppies look almost as good as mine." 

"Of course Joanna," I say sliding my kimono back on. She gives me a quizzical look since I'm not my usual snappy self. She's about to say something, when Delly comes in and announces that Mr. Mellark and Mr. Odair have arrived. 

As my heart pounds loudly in my chest I hear the front door open, Effie's effusive greetings, some rumbles in reply and then they enter the room. Annie rushes past me and flings her arms around Finnick in joyful excitement since she hasn't seen him in several weeks. A huge smile spreads on his face as he lifts her off the ground and squeezes her hard back. The connection between the two of them is so apparent that I can't help but be envious of the enjoyment they will have with each other tonight. 

I'm afraid to look over at my client and when I do all I have feared is immediately confirmed. Mr. Mellark has the bearance of a important man who is not to be trifled with. His suit is meticulous, his hair perfectly jelled and he has that patent charming Mellark smile, but his eyes are cold and devoid of any emotion. He walks up to me and unties the knot of my robe and slides it off. I have the urge to cover my breasts but I know it's not a good idea to be apparent about it in front of everyone, especially considering I put myself on display earlier. 

Mr. Mellark palms one of my breasts in his hand, leans forward, kisses my neck and heavily breathes in my ear, "You're a beautiful seductress, exactly what I expected to find." The authoritive tone of his voice sends a chill down my spine as I read the unpleasant underlying meaning behind his words. I hear some sighs from the girls as they watch our scene unfold. I glance behind him and find a look of apology on Finnick's face, so I turn away not needing or wanting anyone to feel sorry for me. 

"Let's go Mr. Mellark," I say, taking his hand and leading him out. He is so cut off from his emotions he doesn't even realize I called him Mr. Mellark instead of Peeta. 

We barely make it halfway down the hallway when he pushes me firmly against the wall. I gasp as the air leaves my body at the sudden impact. He presses his whole body into me, grabbing my waist and bends to suck at the juncture where my neck meets my shoulder. As he aggressively thrusts his crotch between the juncture of my legs, he is licks and sucks my neck so hard I know he will leave a mark there that will last a few days. He suddenly turns me around, taking my hands and pressing them against the wall above my head. 

I can feel his heated breath coming harder as he growls in my ear, “Leave them up.” He then moves his hands down my body. He starts by pinching a nipple with one hand then reaches down and inserts a finger into my opening making me squeak at the sudden sensation. As he pumps his finger in me his pelvis thrusts against the swell of my ass, making me feel how hard he is for me.

“I love how you are always so wet for me,” he says inserting another finger inside before curling them, searching for my spot while he also presses his thumb firmly to my clit, causing me rotate my hips. 

I hate that he is right. My body betrays me as I can feel the pleasure throbbing through me, causing my my center to feel like liquid heat. I almost draw blood as I bite my lip hard trying not make any sounds. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of hearing proof of how good his fingers are working me. Right in the hallway, where anyone can see us, I am caught in a haze of lust which I can’t break away from. It’s only when I hear Finnick and Annie laughing as they walk to her room that I finally become aware of myself again. I push him away from me, and grab his hand, pulling him towards my room, not looking anywhere but straight ahead.

When we enter my room, he slams the door and pulls me against him and my back smacks against his hard chest. He slides his hand down my front, sneaks under my thong and grabs me possesively. His tongue slides across my jaw and under my ear as I try to control his effect on me.

"On your hands and knees now," he orders and I comply quickly, positioning myself on the rug in front of my bed.

"Look straight ahead, don't turn around and don't speak until I give permission," he continues. I nod my head and look forward. I am caught in a cycle of desire and humiliation as my body aches for him and every bit of me blushes with anticipation. 

I hear him walk around me and I'm pretty sure he is assessing me. The soft sounds of this clothing hitting the floor as he undresses are the only sounds that fill the room.

Finally I feel him kneel behind me and my arms start to shake. He slides his hands up and down my back before I feel my thong being moved aside then finally his tip teases my entrance. 

"Say you want it whore."

"I... I want it," I say, not being able to stop the shake of hesitance in my voice.

"Say you are my whore," he commands, his voice stone cold. When I don't reply he grips my upper thighs. "Say it Katniss," His grip tightens and I know I'll probably have more bruises. He leans forward giving a long swipe on my back with his tongue.

"I... I am your whore." The stutter betraying the breaking of my heart. 

With that he pushes roughly in to me and starts thrusting at an unforgiving place. I groan at the pain and the pleasure of it all and just wait for him to have his end. I have dreamed of him being inside of me all week, and I hate myself for the overwhelming pleasure I feel from the fullness, and I hate him more for the way he makes me feel so cheap. He grabs my hair tightly and leans forward to bite my shoulder as he groans. 

All of a sudden he slaps me hard on the ass and says, “You like it like that my whore, I knew you couldn’t get enough of me," echoing the words I have heard from Crane so many times.

And suddenly everything becomes achingly clear; with those words the one feeling I should have had this entire time finally comes rushing through, great white hot anger. What I don’t need in my life is another Seneca Crane. I turn around pushing him with all my fury and he falls hard to the ground. 

“What the fuck Kantiss!” He yells with an intense ferocity as we both stand up. I am almost relieved to see him angry, at least this is an emotion I can deal with; it's better than the void he was displaying before. This I can work with, something I can answer back to. 

“Don’t you fucking call me your whore!” I yell so hard my throat hurts.

“Well that’s what you are Katniss. You are a fucking whore! You fuck men don’t you? Every day of the god damn week. Don't you like being called what you are? Don’t you like the money you are being paid to do what I want?” He yells back with an equal intensity. I slap him hard on the face with as much power as my small body will allow.

“Well I’m not your fucking whore anymore.” I say unlatching the corset and throwing it at him then kicking off the heels as well. I take everything off until I’m completely naked and free from his entrapments. 

“I want you to leave.” I say my voice shaking from trying to control the anger that can no longer be contained. I open the door and step to the side so he can go. 

“I don't need this shit.” he says grabbing his clothes. "I fucking hate that she was right," he mumbles to himself.

“Leave now and don’t come back ever again. I don’t need this shit either. I don’t need you to treat me this way. I don’t need you to hurt me the only way you know how. Leave now!” I can feel the angry tears pooling in my eyes and I just want him far out of my life so that I can crawl back into my bed.

He throws on his clothes, not bothering to button his shirt before he pulls on his jacket and his face is red from the anger he's trying to hold back when his phone rings. He looks at it and yells "Fuck!" before throwing it as hard as he can across the room where it smashes against the wall. He turns around and sees himself in the dresser mirror and fiercely punches it, breaking it and tearing his skin as well. 

I just stand there stunned at the quick turn of events as he grabs his fist in pain. He walks directly into the bathroom, slams the door before I hear the sound of glass glass shattering, mostly likely the mirror and probably from his fist again. After a moment of silence, eventually I hear the splash of water from the shower hitting the ceramic tub. I close my bedroom door and approach the bathroom cautiously. I open the door slowly and find Peeta sitting under the shower, his clothes still on, hugging his knees as the cold water hits him. He is staring at the wall listlessly and I can see blood flowing into the drain. I jump in the air, when an urgent knock at the door breaks the silence and I go to it quickly, not bothering to put on any clothes.

As I open the door I see that it’s Thresh, puffing slighting from running. "Rue was worried about you so she had me check you on the security monitor and I saw what happened. Are you okay? Do you want me to throw him out?"

"No Thresh, I can handle it. Keep an eye out still, but I don't want to throw him out yet. Also, can you please grab me a first aid kit? Just leave it on my bed." I whisper so Peeta doesn't hear us. Thresh gives me a silent nod and walks away swiftly.

It only takes me a moment to consider what I need to do. Seeing Thresh there puts me in protective mode and I know that this is a critical juncture for Peeta. Whatever he is going through, if I kick him out now he might be lost forever. Somebody needs to help him and I want to be that person that helps him through this. He helped me once long ago and this is my chance to return the favor. Even if he doesn't care for me, I care for him.

I walk silently into the bathroom not wanting to startle him. I see him sitting under the streaming water hugging his knees tightly still staring at nothing.

"Peeta?" I ask gently and tentative in my approach. He just shakes his head and tucks it down so I can't see his face. 

I put my hand under the water and it feels ice cold. His body is shaking uncontrollably and I don't know if it's from the water or his emotions. I move the tap to add hot water so that I can warm up his body. I gently reach behind him and grip his shoulders.

"Peeta, please get up. We need to talk about this," I say as gently as I can. I pull at his shoulders and thankfully he stands up. I slip off his jacket, heavy with water and pull off his shirt. His pants are still unzipped so I push them down and he steps out of them and I kick them to the side. He hadn't bothered to put his boxers back on so he is completely naked again. He doesn't want to look at me so I wrap my arms tightly around him from behind and rest my cheek on his back. 

He still hasn't responded, his hands limp at his sides so I slide my hands up and down his stomach and chest trying to soothe him. When I move my hands down I discover that he is still hard, so I gently take him in my right hand and start to stroke him. He takes his left hand and covers my hand still holding his stomach and his right hand wraps around my hand holding his cock. Together we jerk him off until he takes a shuddered breath and comes. He then pulls my arms to wrap tighter around his waist, and covers mine hands with his own. 

I never realized he was so broken, that he has stuffed his emotions down so much. I'm afraid of saying anything, afraid I might say something to make things worse.

"I'm so sorry Katniss." He finally says. "I shouldn't have said those things to you. I shouldn't have treated you that way." He turns around, and pulls away still not looking at me.

"I just don't know what's real anymore. I don't know if you are real or if you are just what I want you to be. I was trying to prove to myself that you don't care for me. That you are just like the rest of them." He cups my face with his hands and finally looks into my eyes. 

"Are you real Katniss? Do you care about me or are you just another whore who just says and does what I want to hear because of what I have to offer?" he asks searching for the truth in my eyes.

He doesn't say the word in anger and he doesn't mean for that word to hurt me more, he just honestly wants to know if I am lying to him. How many people have lied to him that he can't trust anything?

"I'm real Peeta." I say covering his hands on my face with my own. "I'm real and I may be a prostitute but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. I care about you more than I should. I would never lie to you."

"Promise? Promise you won't lie to me?" His voice sounds so vulnerable, so much like a frightened child that it makes me want to cry. 

"I promise Peeta. I am real and I meant what I said, I would never lie to you," I answer hoping he believes me.

He hugs me tight around the waist and I wrap my arms around his neck. He puts his head on my shoulder and starts to cry. His chest heaves in wracking sobs conveying a pain I know he has held onto for a long time. Tears seep out of my eyes too as I wish I could take his anguish away. Earlier I was cursing Cinna for suggesting that I have a conversation with him but this is evidence of how right he was. We have done so much damage to each other by not discussing what this is that we have between us. We have let our fears and our ghosts cause us to harm each other and ourselves. As I hold him, I realize that I need to get Peeta to open up to me and I need to do the same with him. 

His tears finally dry up and I pull him out of the shower, rub a towel over his body to dry him off and then wrap another one around his waist before seating him on the toilet. I turn the shower off, wrap myself in a towel and go to the bedroom where I find the first aid kit lying on my bed which Thresh had left for me. 

When I walk back into the bathroom I find him still staring at the floor with his right hand hanging over his knee dripping blood on the floor. His shoulders are slumped in defeat and my chest tightens at the sight of him. I kneel before him and take his hand and start to attend to the wound. I put antiseptic on it and wrap a bandage firmly around it. He just stares at my quick confident motions, not saying a word. When I'm done he examines my work and then looks up at me.

"Thank you Katniss." he says softly. I look into his eyes and I see a small glimmer of light finally coming back to them. 

"You're welcome," I say rubbing his knee and smiling up at him.

"How did you learn to do that? It looks professional." He asks turning his hand over.

I give a small chuckle." Actually, my mom taught me. She was a nurse before she got lost inside her drugs and she tried to teach me what she knew. I never could stand the sight of human blood but I guess I still learnt something from her." I answer, taking his good hand and pulling him up. 

He gives a look of pain when he hears the word "drugs"even though I stated it with no emotion at all.

"I know so little about you Katniss. Can you tell me more about yourself?" he asks interlacing our fingers.

"Yes Peeta I can. But you have to tell me more about yourself too." I say rocking our hands between us before leading him back into the bedroom. 

I sit him on the bed and sit next to him, never letting go of his hand. "If it's all right with you Peeta, would it be okay if we don't have sex anymore today? I think we should just get to know each other. Maybe we can start asking each other questions?"

He doesn't look at me when I ask him this and he only stares down at our hands, his eybrows creased in concentration for a long moment. When the silence continues for longer than is comfortable I start to chew on my lip worried I said the wrong thing. 

He finally looks up at me and breaks into an unsure sweet smile. "I would like that Katniss. I would like that very much," he answers. "So how should we start? The basics like what's your favorite color?"

"I think that sounds good, we can get to the heavier stuff later. Mine is green. And you?"

His face twists up in an adorable way and then he looks at me puzzled. "You know, I don't think I have a favorite color," he says. 

I can't help but laugh at this. "How do you not have a favorite color? I thought everyone did." 

"I guess I never thought about it." he says rubbing the back of his neck and blushing a little. I get transfixed with how his bicep flexes and I forget for a moment that we are supposed to be getting to know each other on a more emotional level. 

"Well I guess we'll have to find that out. But first we should find you some clothes to put on." I am not going to last long in this new deal to not have sex if he stays in just a towel and unfortunately his clothes are too wet to put back on. 

"What, is all this too much for you to take?" He says jestering at himself with a mischievous grin on his face. 

I can't help but blush and laugh at the truth of this statement. "Maybe so." He gives a short chuckle and I can feel the heavy cloud that has been over our heads start to disappear. 

"Just wait here looking all sexy and I'll get you some clothes." I say getting up. I pull my hand away and it feels cold without his large one enterwined with it.

"You have extra mens clothes here?" 

"Peeta, we are a brothel. 'It serves to the greater good to be prepared for any and all incidences' as Effie would say." 

"I guess I could be put under that category", he says looking embarrassed but he still has an amused look on his face. 

I take off my towel and grab a robe from my wardrobe. "Just hold on and I'll be right back." I say kissing his forehead. He nods his head and kisses my hand.

I go to the basement and open the cabinet holding some neatly folded clothes that Effie put in there. I pull out a plain light green t-shirt, a hoodie, some jeans and a pair of vans that I think are Peeta's size. As I am about to leave I see my equipment and start smiling as an idea comes to me. I lug it out of the basement and leave it next to the main door. 

"Is everything okay Katniss? Thresh told Haymitch and I what was going on," she says from her office window as she sees me pass by. 

"It will be Effie. Mr. Mellark and I will be out until tomorrow morning. Please arrange to have his suit dry cleaned and have one of the guys throw this in my car." I answer.

"Is that wise Katniss? Should you be alone with him after what happened? And Cato isn't here to give you permission to leave the brothel."

I scowl at his name being said. "I don't care what Cato thinks Effie, and I will be fine with him. I promise." I say, quickly going back to my room before she can say anything else.

When I get back to my room I'm surprised when the door opens before I can turn the knob. Haymitch walks out of my room, his face deep in concentration.

"What are you doing here Haymitch?" I ask. 

"What do you think sweetheart. I needed to have a little talk with Mr. Mellark. I don't want any of my girls hurt, no matter how much money he may give to the Ranch." he answers looking down at me like an angry dad.

"There is more to this than you know Haymitch. I'll be okay, you just need to trust me on this."

He just scoffs at this statement. "I'm not blind Katniss. I know how you feel about this boy. But you're thinking with your other parts."

"Give me more credit than that Haymitch," I say getting frustrated. "Look, I'm going to take him away from here for the night. I need to do this for me. Please, let me do this." I plead, hoping he understands.

He looks at me for a moment, not saying anything before finally nodding. "Fine but don't come to me if this doesn't work out," he says stomping away without another look. I think I hear him mutter something like "damn foolish girl in love".

When I finally walk back into the room, Peeta crumples something in his hand before he looks up at me defeated so I decide it’s better not to satisfy my curiosity about his "talk" with Haymitch. I am happy to see his expression brighten with my next words as his face lights up with curiousity and happiness. 

"Peeta we are leaving the brothel for the night. You wanted to get to know me so we are doing just that." I say handing him the clothes.

"Where are we going?" he asks, just looking up at me with the clothes in his hands, not moving to get up.

"Okay, so we're going camping at Lake Mead. Now come on, we have so much daylight left and I want to take you somewhere first." I say pulling him up. I go to my dresser and pull out my jeans, a shirt and my converse. We both get dressed in silence and then when I turn around I can't help but give a chuckle.

"What?" he asks.

I step forward and play with his curls which have become unruly from the shower. "You look like a California surfer boy instead of the future Senator of California. I like it."

He grins at me and takes my hand that is playing with his curls. "Well you look like a hot chick who'd date a California surfer boy."

I just roll my eyes. "Alright let's get out of here." I answer.

I have him follow me to the kitchen and thankfully there is nobody there to question what we are doing. I hand him a bag to hold open so I can stuff it with some Thanksgiving leftovers and a couple of bottles of waters. When we are finally on the road, the food and my camping gear in the back of my jeep, I can't help but feel relief that we're leaving the brothel behind us for awhile.

Peeta has been very compliant with this whim of mine, but I'm worried that he has been too silent. I hope this idea of mine works.

"So why are we going to Lake Mead?" he finally asks when we've been on the road for awhile. 

"Well you want to get to know me right?" I look over and see him nod. "Well this is where I'm most me. I used to come here with my father when I was little. It is where I'm the happiest in Nevada and I like to visit there when possible to remind myself that life can be good."

"I'd like that sort of reminder," he says softly. 

I reach over and intertwine my hand with his. "Well let's try then." I say. "So now I think I need to ask you a very important question?"

He quirks up his eyebrow. "And what would that be?"

"What is your favorite type of food?"

He laughs and shakes his head at me. "That would definitely be Mexican food? And yours?"

"Why look at that, we have something in common. My favorite is Mexican too." With that we start exchanging innocent questions with each other all the way there. I find out that he doesn't like sweet drinks, where I'm a hot chocolate addict. He did wrestling in college but his favorite sport is soccer while I tell him mine is ice hockey. I also learn he dabbles in painting and baking and I tell him I discovered I like to cook when I learned from Sae. I also admit I really don't have any hobbies but that I still work at a diner when I'm in L.A. My favorite is when I ask what his weird sleeping habits are and he tells me he likes to sleep with the window open. I tell him I like to sleep in bed naked except with knee high socks and I had to pull over because I was laughing so hard at his dazzed expression. 

When we get to the Valley of Fire I know he has fallen in love with it as much as I have when I look over and see the expression on his face. The rest of the afternoon we just wander around holding hands and stopping at the most beautiful spots to take it all in. 

I've never been good with talking to men besides Gale and the benefit of working at brothel is that you don't really need to. Peeta was no exception to this. Even with the intense physical and emotional connection we have with each other there had been no need for us to talk before and I realized how little I did know about him. Now that we are actually trying to get to know each other I find how easy conversation flows between us. Beneath the layers of disconnected darkness is a man with a kind heart who has learned to cut off his feelings because he has been hurt and disappointed too long. I guess I can relate.

Our conversations become deeper when he tells me how he has always tried to be what his mother wanted just to get some sort of approval from her even though it is a fruitless endeavour. He also tells me his father is a good man, that he admires him and that is why he’s wanted to follow in his footsteps, but feels his father is too disconnected to really love him back. The only love he has ever felt was from his nanny Mags and from Finnick. I tell him about my love for my sister Prim, my closeness to Sae, my father's death and how I resent my drug addicted mother. Through our conversations I see the boy I briefly met so long ago slowly coming more and more out. 

While the sun is still high enough I take him to a camp site I regularly visit. We get firewood from the ranger station and set up my small two man tent near the lake and start a fire. As the day comes to a close, I find myself sitting facing the sunset leaning my back against his chest and his arms are wrapped tightly around my waist. He tucks his chin on my shoulder and despite the chill wind, we are warm from the fire and from our shared body warmth. We watch in silence as the sun hits the horizon, the sky and the fluffy clouds turn such a bright orange that it takes my breath away and makes me feel like I'm in a haven with just Peeta; all our worries just pushed away. 

"I think sunset orange is my favorite color now," he says before kissing me on the neck. "Thank you for sharing this with me. I never want this moment to end."

I pull his hands tighter around me trying to convey that I agree with him as I find it's difficult to say anything at the moment. I don't want this moment to end either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for continuing on the rollercoaster. I know this chapter is long but I wanted to start getting to the good parts of Peeta's personality so I had to over all the rough stuff first.


	14. Doing a 180

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some violence at the end of this so be warned.

It’s funny how things can change so quickly. Yesterday I was waiting anxiously for Peeta, wearing a gold corset, ready to write him off permanently as a lost cause. I would have laughed at anybody who told me I would be waking up next to him in a cold tent, under a flimsy sleeping bag after having the best day, night and sleep of my life. The irony doesn't escape me that after being an insomniac for years, I have only recently found sleep with a screwed-up enigmatic man who pays me for sex. 

After rubbing my heavy eyes the first thing I see is the sunlights' weak rays filtering through the tent flap that Peeta insisted we keep a partially open so the air would flow through. Dust motes are floating in the air over Peeta's sleeping form and I carefully lift myself up on my elbow to get a better view of him. I never realized that a man could look so beautiful. The morning light makes the freckles on his chest more pronounced on his pale chest and sun is glinting off his eyelashes causing them to have an ethereal glow. Also, I have never seen his hair look more bright and unruly than I do now. Suddenly I am fully awake and my heart is beating fast. I almost don't want to wake him up since I enjoy seeing him in such a peaceful state, but when my eyes scan down his body I notice the sleeping bag low on his hips, I can’t help changing my mind. 

When Peeta came into the tent last night after banking the fire he found me laying on my belly on top of the two sleeping bags I had laid opened to sleep between. He stayed at the entrance dumbstruck for a long moment when he saw that I was naked with only my knee high socks to keep me warm and this time he wasn't laughing. Peeta shed all his clothes before we slid under the sleeping bag and wrapped our arms around each other. The need to be in as close physical contact as possible quickly overwhelmed us both last night. Peeta stroked my back as I lay my head on his shoulder, our legs intertwined with my fingers curled on his chest. We somehow managed to just go to sleep and not actually have sex but in this peaceful morning light my body hums with the need for more.

I slowly slide my hand down his chest feeling every ripple in his muscles before carefully pulling the sleeping bag the rest of the way down. I briefly hesitate before taking hold of his partially firm cock. I start to softly stroke it and he mumbles in his sleep and shifts a little. I keep my eyes trained on his slack face as I move my head down to take him in my mouth, watching for any signs that he’s waking up. I relish the feeling of him becoming firmer as I lick the base and just as my eyes start to close I see his eyes pop open.

"Katniss, what are you doing?" he asks, the mixture of sleepiness and strain causing his voice to be rougher than usual.

I lift up my head and let my hand continue the work. "What does it look like?"

"Not that I should argue, but what happened to no sex?" he says as he starts to run his fingers through my loose hair.

"That was last night. This is today," I make him groan as I lick his tip over and over with the bottom of my tongue. I'm about to take him completely in my mouth again when he gently pushes my shoulder.

I look up in confusion as to why he stopped me. "Wait Katniss. I would love you to take this farther, but before we do I have to know...”

"Stop Peeta, don't ask it,” I say pulling away and lying on my side, my back facing him, knowing where this is going.

"Please Katniss. It's been killing me since I’ve met you again. Before we do anything else, before I hurt you again, I need to know. Why did you become a prostitute?" He gently wraps his arms around me and spoons me so all are parts are touching and he starts to gently stroke my arm.

"Please Katniss," He whispers in my ear with a soft plea I can’t resist.

I promised I would share myself with him so I can’t deny him this no matter how much I want to. I take a deep calming breath and reach up to link our fingers. His strong hand and warm presence gives me the courage to start. 

"It was almost two years after I met you. I was working at Sae’s diner like I told you and by this time she offered my mother, Prim and I to move in with her. Money was tight but I thought things were going well until I started seeing the notices that Sae tried to hide from me. I knew the restaurant was slow but I didn’t know it was that bad. She even put a second mortgage on the house. I told her to take rent from us but she refused. She is a stubborn women that Sae. Then one day I got home early and I found my mom going through Sae’s things and taking money for her drugs. I thought her problem was under control but I was so wrong. I confronted her and found out she’d been doing it for months. She was even selling some of Sae's things. All this time when Sae had been helping us out even as she struggled my mom had been stealing from her. I never felt so hurt and betrayed.” I start to shake in anger at the memory and Peeta holds me tighter.

“I know most people wouldn't understand, but despite everything I couldn’t leave my mom so I tried to convince Sae that we needed to leave, but she wouldn’t have it. I became desperate to save Sae’s restaurant and house because I felt responsible for her money problems; but no amount of waiting tables and singing on the streets would help and I couldn’t get a better paying job being a high school dropout. Well Sae had a regular who would always hit on me, and I would just push him away. One day he pleaded with me that he was so desperate for me to touch him and that he would pay me $100 to do it. By that time I was desperate for his money and I couldn't find it in me to say no. On my break I took him out back and gave him what he wanted, not once stopping to think about it. Then I did it again, and then word got around and soon I had a few regular customers. I've never stopped once to ask myself what I was doing, I couldn't. The money was too good and the need too great.

Sae eventually found out but she couldn’t stop me. I can be just as stubborn as her. Then a few months later Haymitch and Effie were in town recruiting for the ranch and he ‘discovered’ me when he drunkenly tried to find the bathroom and stepped into the alley instead. He gave me an offer I couldn't refuse and that’s how I ended up with this wonderful opportunity. It’s not the most ideal thing to do in life, but I don’t look back, I had to make decisions for our survival. It doesn’t matter what happens to me as long as I can take care of the people I love.”

Silence pervades the tent so I just lie there picking the string of the sleeping bag, curling deeper into a ball and pulling my hand away from his. I’m too afraid to look at him and see the judgement in his eyes telling me the words he said yesterday were right. At the same time I've never shared so much about myself ever, even with Sae, and I feel a weight lifting from sharing this part of me with him. 

Peeta slides out of the sleeping bags and climbs over me until he is lying on his side facing me. He wraps his leg firmly over my thigh so I can’t move. I gather my courage to look up and see that his eyes hold no judgement, but instead are bright with an emotion I’m afraid to name.

“It matters to me what happens to you Katniss,” he finally says, his warm hand encasing my neck. “And words cannot express how sorry I am with the way I’ve been treating you. I'm the one who is..." he stops to consider his words and I look at him with questioning eyes.

"I'm ashamed to say I’ve been no better than anybody else in judging you for what you do," he continues. "To be honest, I’ve been so mad at you for not being this trumped up dream in my head that I didn’t see the real woman in front of me. You are so much braver, so much more giving, so much better than I could have imagined for the decisions you had to make. You are beautiful in ways I couldn't imagine Katniss." 

I try to contain my emotions but the tears stream out because of his beautiful words. In the last couple months since I've met him I've cried more than I've ever had my entire life. I cry at the sweet words I've longed to hear but don't quite believe. I cry because I can see the beautiful heart that Peeta has kept hidden from those around him for so long. And finally I have the cry I should have had four years ago back in that alley to mourn the innocence that I lost. 

Peeta starts by kissing my cheeks where the tears flow. It feels so soft and sweet that I want to feel that sensation on my lips and I move my face up so that our lips can connect. Our kisses are salty with my tears but they are as sweet as I imagined and soon they become deeper when I lick his bottom lip asking for entrance. We lose all sense of time as we lay there just getting wrapped up in each other. As the sun gets brighter and our bodies heat up in the small tent, I don't just want to get lost in him, after all we've been through in the last 18 hours, I want to be connected to him. I want to feel like I did that first night we had sex with each other. 

"Please Peeta, I need you." I moan as he sucks on the dip in my neck the way that I love.

"What do you need Katniss?" He asks lifting up and giving me a wicked grin.

"I need you to make me feel good. I need you to fuck me Peeta." I say taking his face in my hands so he can see how serious I am. How much this moment means to me.

"I'm not going to fuck you today Katniss," and I turn my head away in frustration.

With that Peeta lifts off me and slides under the sleeping bag again, pushing me on my back with his body and he nestles his hips between my legs. His darkened eyes look deep into mine making his intentions clear and I hiss at the contact of his pelvis hitting mine. I feel my heart beating through my whole body as Peeta takes hold of himself at my entrance and he kisses me softly as he slides into me, making us both groan each others names as our lips still touch. Peeta takes his time thrusting in strong slow movements while his eyes never leave mine. His thumb brushes my lip and I take it in my mouth and suck on it as I wrap my legs around him giving him deeper access. With the support of his hand on my lower back, the change in position hits my g-spot and I can’t stop the loud moans escaping my mouth at the slow but unrelenting contact of his cock. His eyes fill with adoration and silently tell me that he is seeing me Katniss, not the prostitute. His kisses on my temple say that this moment means something to him. Our movements eventually become faster and more intense and not once do we break eye contact.

"I want to see you touch yourself Katniss," he pants out. I reach down and I press down on my clit, and my fingers touch his cock sliding in and out of me. This sensation makes us both grunt as our movements become erratic and both our heads snap back. I feel my toes curling as my orgasm washes over me, making me clench and I grab his ass with my other hand, driving him as deep inside me as possible. I fall back limp and Peeta pulls out of me and flips me on my stomach while I am useless to the world, still feeling pleasure pulsing through my body. 

"I'm not done with you yet Katniss. I don't think I'll ever be done with you," he says rubbing his hands up and my back. I am his puppet as he pulls my hands over my head and he enters me again in a swift motion, pressing his body against mine as his arms cover my own. He continues to pound into me until I feel my body start to coil again and I'm soon crying out Peeta's name as my walls contract around him. With my second orgasm Peeta finally comes and I feel the heat of him flooding me before he collapses next to me. After we catch our breaths he lifts himself up enough to push my sweaty hair aside and pepper my face with kisses. He gives me a crooked goofy grin like he can't believe I'm there and I can't help but return the smile myself.

Far too soon we are driving back to the brothel, heading fast to the reality that awaits us both. I hold his hand the entire way while I drive and sing along to the songs on the radio which makes him smile as he leans his head back and closes his eyes. When we get to the parking lot we just sit there for a moment looking at the brothel doors, seeing men come in and out, knowing that this peaceful moment we found with each other is now over. 

“You don’t have to go back in there, I can support you. Help you.” His eyes look at me pleading with a hopeless desperation.

“No Peeta, like I’ve said before, this is the life I’ve chosen for myself. This is how I’ve decided to support my family. I can’t owe another person so much and we'll always be on unequal footing.” I try to be as firm but gentle as possible with him. His shoulders slump in defeat and he doesn’t look at me but I have to remain strong. Now more than ever he means too much to me for his life to be ruined for helping me out. 

“Peeta look at me.” I say taking both of his hands in my own. I pull them up and kiss both his knuckles and rest my cheek on them. “I couldn’t live with myself if I destroyed your career and reputation when it came out who I was. And that is exactly what would happen. Don’t leave that on my shoulders.” 

Peeta finally nods his assent and rests his forehead on mine and gives a deep sigh. He knows I’m right. “Promise me one thing Katniss. Let’s always be there for each other no matter what. I don’t have many people I can rely on and I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t somehow in my life. And if not for me, try to get out for yourself.”

He sounds so different now from the cold indifferent man I met a few months ago. I lift my head and kiss him on his temple. “I promise Peeta. We’ll be there for each other. No matter where life takes us.”

We pull apart and enter the brothel, arms around each others waists. Finnick is in the front room sitting with Annie, holding her hand. His knee is bouncing and he is chewing on his lip as we enter, obviously anxious that we were gone for so long. He is off the couch in a flash when he sees us and clasps Peeta on the shoulder.

"Hey man how are you doing? Have a good time?" He says this casually but there is a tension underlying his voice.

Peeta looks at me and breaks out into a large easy smile that I’ve only seen when we were camping. "Good. I'm doing real good."

Finnick's tension visibly lifts and he gives back his huge patented charming smile. "Well Katniss Therapy works again! Although nobody beats my Annie." He says patting her on the ass, making her shake her head.

Peeta is about to say something when Effie trots in with Peeta's suite hanging in a plastic dry cleaning bag. "Oh Mr. Mellark, I hope you had a good time with Diana. We had your suit dry cleaned and it's all ready to go." She hands him the suit and he looks at it for a moment like it's going to bite him.

"Thank you very much Ms. Trinket, and I hope it's okay I keep these clothes." She twitters her assent, pleased at his manners.

"Well we better go. I got a text that the pilot is ready." Peeta says turning to me.

"Katniss I... I'll see you next week okay?"

"I'll be home so it will be two weeks," I answer sadly tucking my head in his shoulder as we embrace one last time.

"Bye my little Kat. Thank you for not giving up on me," he whispers in my ear. 

"You’re welcome. I'm happy I was here for you. But no Mr. Mellark ok? I like seeing this Peeta. Promise?" I whisper back.

"I promise." 

"Doesn't mean I don't like a little domination," I add and I am successful in making him laugh.

"Of course my little Kat," he rumbles in a sexy whisper that makes me want to pull him in my bedroom right now. Unfortunately the opposite happens as we pull away from each other.

Finnick is also hugging Annie goodbye and I see him wipe a tear from her eye. They exit and I feel more empty than ever knowing I won't see him for two weeks, especially after what we've just been through. Annie and I are about to head to our rooms when the door buzzes and Finnick bursts back in.

To my surprise he goes straight to me and takes my hands, "Thank you for bringing back my friend." His eyes are full of sincerity and he then kisses me on the cheek before bouncing to Annie and kissing her hard on the lips one more time before leaving again quickly, leaving us both a little stunned.

“Okay girls, no dawdling in the front. Katniss, Cato said you need to make up for taking off without his permission so you have a noon appointment with someone on your waiting list before you take your time off. Annie you have an appointment at noon too so both of you need to get ready.” I’m surprised, for Cato that’s a pretty mild punishment.

“Yes Effie,” We reply in unison. With that she goes back into her office and we turn to go back to our rooms.

"Does it hurt as much for you Katniss?" Annie asks quietly looking dejected as we walk down the hall.

"Yes. It hurts too much," I answer. I don't have to ask her what hurts because I know we both feel the loss of the men we can't have.

_________________________________________

"What are you doing with Gale?"

"Oh Prim, do you have to ask me that now? I can barely move." I tell Prim as I’m spread out on the couch, legs lying on top of hers. We just had our Sunday Thanksgiving with the Hawthorne’s and now it’s just the two of us in the living room since the Hawthorne’s have left, Sae went to bed, and mom is thankfully not here because she is gone for the week with Seneca on a trip.

“Well when else am I going to catch you alone, too bloated to run from my questions?” she says pushing my leg. I groan and roll my eyes. “And don’t think I didn’t notice how tense the two of you were over dinner. For friends who are supposedly dating you sure don’t look comfortable with him.”

I just roll my head into the couch cushion blocking her out. “I don’t want to talk about it.” I say, my voice muffled by a pillow.

“Come on Katniss, you don’t talk to anyone. You just bottle everything up and try to protect me. I’m not a little kid anymore. I’m not even a virgin anymore. I can help, you know. Or would you rather I talk about my sex life.” She says putting her hand on my shoulder and pushing it slightly. I just groan, she sure knows how to get to me.

Okay, I have asked myself what I’m doing with Gale over and over again since I’ve been back but I wasn’t expecting my baby sister to notice anything. “Fine, what do you want to know Miss Grand Inquistor? But please let’s not talk about your sex life, our safe sex conversation last year was enough for me,” I answer, turning my head towards her, still slumped over in the couch.

“Why are you dating Gale?” she asks almost sounding accusatory.

“Well isn’t it obvious? We’ve known each other for years, we are best friends, and he really wants to be with me. I thought you liked Gale?”

Prim lets out a frustrated puff of air obviously not happy with my answer. “Of course I like Gale, but I think it’s more obvious to me than to you why you are dating him. It’s that martyr thing you always do.”

“What the hell are you talking about Prim? What ‘martyr’ thing do I do?” I say sitting up more. I’m starting to get frustrated and defensive over my little sisters questions. But I know her, she won’t let up until I give her a satisfactory answer so I’m stuck.

“Oh Kat, I love you, but you can be rather obtuse.” I lift up an eyebrow and cross my arms at her use of the big word, but she just waves me off and continues. “You do things for the people you love even if you don’t like it, because they want it so you’d rather let go of what you want to please that person with what they want. Not that I haven’t benefitted from this...”

“Wow, slow down Prim. That’s a lot of words at once.” I say pinching my nose trying to process all of this. Thankfully she knows me enough to remain silent for a bit to let me think.

After my experience with Peeta in the Valley of Fire, I feel farther from Gale than ever. All dinner he tried to be affectionate and I really wanted to as well but I ended up just going through the motions, trying to convince myself to keep working it out with him.

"But I love Gale. Shouldn't I try be with him?" I answer trying to convince myself as well as her.

"Just because you love Gale, it doesn't mean you're in love with him. Two totally different things." She says waving her arms in that patented Prim way. "I am head over heals in love with Rory. There isn't a moment I'm not thinking about him. At dinner you had this far off dreamy look like you were thinking of someone else but Gale kept dragging you back to earth."

Prim knowing me to be the emotionally stunted person I am again patiently waits for me to process this information. And damn it if she isn't right. That is how I felt during dinner, always being dragged back to reality by Gale. She can see the answer in my eyes without me saying anything and nods her head.

"Katniss, you have to break up with him," she tells me gently.

"Oh god, I do don't I? I don't want to hurt him." I say rolling my head in the pillows again.

She moves to lie between me and the couch and hugs me. "It's going to suck Katniss, but better now since you know, then later when it's going to hurt more."

I nod my head and sigh. "How did you get to be so smart and grown-up?"

"I have this awesome big sister who's always helped me with my drama." She says hugging me.

"So are you going to tell me about this other guy you’re on cloud 9 about?" she asks after a few moments of silence.

"Definitely not." I answer poking her in the ribs and making her giggle.

"Ahh come on Katniss. Please?" Prim begs with puppy dog eyes.

"Nope you had enough from me today," I answer.

"Well I guess I'll just have to get you stuffed again so you can't move and are forced to answer all my questions," she says poking me back.

_________________________________________

"Look Gale, I've been over this with you, it's just not going to work between us. We're better as friends. It's better we end it now."

"But you barely gave us a try Catnip, you refused to sleep with me and then you dump me before you leave again? How could you know it's not going to work? You never gave us a chance," Gale says, his voice obviously impatient over the phone.

I'm so glad that there is no one in the main reception room as I watch the bar for Thresh while he buys supplies with Effie, because I was stupid enough to answer Gale's call and anyone can hear my drama unfold.

"Gale I care about you so much but I just don't feel the passion we need for a relationship and I don't think you really do either." I say trying remain calm and reason with him.

"Don't tell me what to think Katniss. I love you and you're being a fucking bitch." His voice has past the point of pleading and has gone straight to yelling.

"Fuck Gale, you said at the beginning of this you'd honor my decision. That we'd remain friends if this didn't work out." I say starting to yell in turn. Rue steps in at this moment and sits at the bar giving me a pained look.

"How can I remain friends with a liar? It's that other guy you were fucking around with isn't it? You're still hung up on him. Well he's going to eventually dump you and you'll know how it feels to get your heart torn out," he says before slamming the phone not letting me answer back.

I slam my poor abused phone down on the counter and lean back to rub my eyes, trying to lower the anger level.

"So was that Gale again?" Rue says making me jump. She's so quiet I forgot she was there.

"Yup. Still angry with me. I should have known better than to think that his first sane reaction was all I was going to get," I reply as I start to wipe the counter to give myself something to do.

I tried to make it work for the rest of the week I was home to see if there was anything with him before initiating the break up. My decision was made when I stayed at his house for pizza and a movie at the end of the week. First he started kissing me on the couch then unbuttoned my jeans before he moved his hand under my panties to rub me. It just didn't feel right for me, or fair to him if I let him continue with where he wanted to go so I pulled away and I finally told him it wasn't working. He just looked shocked before nodding his head then going into his room and slamming the door. I went home and texted him I was sorry but he didn't return my calls and he never answered back. I was hoping he just needed time to process this. I never did get the chance to see him again before I went to the ranch. Now that he has had time process it, he has converted it straight into anger. 

"It's only been like two weeks since you broke up with him right?" Rue asks and I just nod my head rubbing the same spot on the counter over and over.

"Well give him some time Katniss. Hearing someone doesn't want to be with you isn't an easy thing. But if he truly cares about you, he'll understand eventually," she says, taking my hand and stopping its repetitive motion.

"I hope you're right Rue. I hate that he's hurting. I keep hoping every time he calls I'll make him understand, but I just keep adding fuel to the fire."

"Well leave him be for a bit. Christmas is coming soon, maybe you'll get a holiday miracle," she says hopefully.

I can't help but laugh. "I hope you're right Rue because I sure need one. Now let's talk about you. I'm not so preoccupied that I didn't notice that red dress you are wearing tonight. Are you going out?"

Rue blushes prettily and lowers her eyes. "Yes. Thresh wants to take me to a fancy restaurant in Vegas since it's my time off. We're spending the night there but he says he'll be a perfect gentleman."

"That's wonderful Rue." She is such a sweet person and she deserves some happiness coming her way after her hard life. I see she looks unhappy despite what she just told me. "What's worrying you?" I ask.

"The thing is I'm not the perfect lady. I'm far from it," she says, looking up with tears swimming in her eyes. "I don't know why he wants me. Do you think we are capable of ever have a normal relationship after what we do?"

I can't help but give a humorless laugh. "I don't know if I'm the right person to ask that question, especially after my Gale fiasco. And after seeing how love destroyed my mother I don't know if I want it either."

She slumps her shoulders in defeat and I feel guilty that I'm not exactly comforting. I cover her hands with mine and squeeze them. "You're not me Rue. Thresh would be lucky to have you. You are one of the best people I know and he knows that too."

She gives me a tiny smile which makes some of the tears slip from her eyes. "Katniss, Thresh says he loves me and I think that I'm in love with him too. He wants me to stop what I'm doing and move away with him. I'm scared Katniss. The way he looks at me, loves me. What if he stops and just sees me as the girl who gave her body for money?"

“Oh sweetie Thresh is a good man and an honest one. He would never hurt you. You go be with him. Just because I’m emotionally stunted doesn’t mean you have to be. You found one of the good ones.” I know I've said the right thing because her smile is so large it takes over her entire face.

“Thank you for your support Katniss," she says turning her hands over so she can squeeze them back. "And don’t be afraid to love someone either. You are much stronger than your mother. You not only look after your sister but you look after all of us here at the ranch too. You deserve so much more than you let yourself have,” she finishes, her beautiful brown eyes full of sincerity.

I don't want to think of what I deserve. Honestly my own future is murky and I just want to survive the now. I also don't ever see myself finding love so I just give her the best smile I can and squeeze her hands again before letting go.

"Ok, let's get you a drink to warm you up for your date. Sea breeze right?"

"Yup!" Rue replies, the worried look gone replaced by excitement instead. I make her drink and one for myself as well and for a moment we are both silent, lost in our own thoughts.

I can’t help wondering what a normal life would be with Peeta if we were in different circumstances. Sharing a home, cooking dinner, asking each other about our days. I’ve been so good at not letting anyone in or imagining a bright future for myself because it never served any use in the present. Now I realize how he has destroyed so many of my walls and now I’m afraid of the life I want but cannot have. I want him to put his arms around me and tell me everything is going to be ok. I want him to tell me that we can work something out. But I can’t have him give up the his bright future for a lost cause like me. All of a sudden I can’t breathe, I want to see him but forget he ever existed at the same time. I need to control these desires before I see him tonight. I have helped him out, and opened my heart at the same time but I can't let him in any further.

"Well look at the skank behind the bar. Why aren't you doing your real job and blowing someone? Or are you waiting for me?" A very unwelcome voice breaking me out of my reverie.

Shit it's Cato. And even though it's only 4 pm he is clearly very drunk. Rue and I exchange looks of annoyance and panic before turning to see what he wants.

"I'm covering for Thresh since he's out helping Effie until Darius gets here." I say in a flat voice trying to make it clear he won't get a rise out of me.

He sidles up to the bar, and sits as close as he can to Rue invading her space. "Well it's time you get your whore retraining Katniss." he says hissing my name out like a snake, his ice blue eyes narrowed on me. "I need to punish some of that high and mighty out of you. Effie says your free until 6 pm so now it's the perfect time."

"Aren't you supposed to be in Vegas doing some recruiting for tonight?" I ask crossing my arms. This just causes him to lick his lips as he stares at my boobs in my leather bikini, so I drop my arms again.

"I forced Haymitch to do it tonight. Man is getting on my nerves. So I got plenty of time on my hands." He falls over slightly and uses Rue to stabilize himself.

"Fuck girl, I haven't noticed you before. You look sexy in that dress but you'll look even better out of it," he says sliding his hand all the way up her thigh. She closes them and turns her stool slightly so he can't reach his destination.

"I'm off duty to tonight Cato and I'll be leaving the Ranch soon," she tries to say in a brave voice.

In his inebriated state his anger turns on like a light switch and he grabs her tightly by the hair making her cry out and I yell out "Get off her!"

Cato just ignores me and drags her off the stool. "Don't tell me what you can fucking do. I tell you when you can come and go. And right now you are coming to my room so I can show you who owns you." He uses the other hand not holding her hair to roughly rub her crotch and she pleads for him to let her go.

All I see is red as I see Cato’s treatment of Rue and any reason I had left is all but gone. I swiftly walk around the bar and throw a punch at his face with all the strength I have. He lets go of her hair at the sudden impact yelling "Fuck!" as his nose spurts blood and I yell the same word since my hand is in pain from the impact. I pull Rue behind me so I can protect her with my entire body while he wipes his nose with his arm. Before I can make a move he backhands me so hard it sends me flying backwards onto the floor. I feel like the world has tilted upside down and I can't get my legs under me when I see Rue lunge for him and he punches her, knocking her out immediately.

"Well I guess you nominated yourself to be the first in line," he says straddling me on the floor just when I'm about to get up, using all his weight to pin me down, and trapping my arms with his own.

I try my hardest to get him off me, but he is just too strong. Unable to move I do the one thing I can to show how much I hate him, I spit in his face. "Fuck you Cato, you only hit girls because your tiny dick can't make any impact on it's own."

"You are going to pay for that you fucking bitch," Cato says as he grabs me by the neck and starts to squeeze with one hand while reaching down with the other to unzip his pants.

I try to claw his hand as hard as I can but he barely notices. The world becomes hazy as my limbs stop cooperating and he plunges his tongue in my mouth while never letting go of his relentless grip. The last thing I taste is the whisky from his tongue and the blood from his broken nose. The last thing I hear are feet pounding into the room, the last thing I feel is his fingers squeezing harder, the last thing I see is Rue's crumpled form and then everything goes black.


	15. Waking is Up is Hard to Do

The first thing I become aware of is being submerged in total darkness. My eyelids feel just too heavy to deal with even attempting to open. When the edges of darkness finally begins to lift, the next thing I am aware of is a mouth pressed firmly onto mine before I’m slammed with a searing pain in my throat and the great need to suck in air. As I take in a breath of sweet air, the pain in my throat causes me to cough at the same time so I keep my eyes shut and the world out as I concentrate on controlling my erratic breathing.

"Come on Katniss, that's it," A familiar but unexpected voice says. "Now open up your damn eyes."

I pry my eyes open once the coughing finally slows down to see a very pissed off Clove hovering above me. "That's good Katniss, don't try to speak, Effie is getting the doctor right now. Thresh pulled Cato off you just as you blacked out, but he didn’t get any further than choking you out," she says while a look of relief flits over her face as she starts gently pressing on my throat to examine it. Words cannot express the flood of relief I feel knowing that the asshole didn’t get any further; bruises on my neck I can handle.

"Damnit Clove, we should be taking her to the hospital, not waiting for the doctor to come." It's Joanna I hear yelling and from the the corner of my eye I see her pacing frantically back and forth. I feel like I'm underwater and the frenetic movement all around me is not quite real. There is only one word on the edge of my lips and I'm having a hard time voicing it.

"You know Snow would flay us all alive if word of any of this got out. She doesn't have airway constriction, just massive bruising so the doctor should be able to manage her medical needs here." Clove answers curtly while taking my pulse.

"If anything happens to her..." she starts to say before I finally have the energy to speak.

"Rue..." I whisper sending my throat into flames and I wince in the pain.

"I'm right here Katniss." I hear her say to my great relief. I slowly turn my head to see her on her hands and knees crawling towards me, Thresh's is on the floor next to her, hand on her back. I reach my hand out to her and she takes it. I hate to see that there is already a shiner forming over her eye and it's already half closed, tomorrow it will probably be nice and purple.

"Are you ok?" I manage to whisper.

Rue gives a half chuckle half sob. "Are you kidding Kat? You weren't breathing, Clove had to give you CPR. You’re the one we're worried about and the first thing you do is ask for me?" She starts to cry and puts her head on my shoulder so I lift my other hand to pat her head to comfort her. Rue eventually pulls herself together after a bit and lifts her head again and starts to brush the hair out of my face.

Joanna on the other hand completely loses it. I turn my head in time to see her kicking an unconscious Cato, his dick still hanging out. “Don’t.. you.. ever... fucking... hurt.. one... of... my friends... again...” Each word is punctuated by another kick into his ribs. Madge and Annie are the first ones to finally pull her back, albeit reluctantly, and only when she threatens to get her axe from her room.

"So what are we going to do with this asshole," I hear Delly ask.

"Take him to my room and chain him to the wall. I'll deal with him, and don't worry, there won't be any safe words involved," Clove answers. Thresh gets up from next to Rue, walks over to Cato and throws the 6' man over his shoulder like he weighs nothing. Without saying a word he leaves the room with Delly following behind with a determined look on her face, making a path through the girls who are hovering at the door but haven't dared to come in.

"Can you stick a dildo up his ass for me please?" Joanna begs and I try my best not to let the chuckle bubbling in my throat out since it's still throbbing with pain. All Clove does is give a terse nod to Joanna.

I don't know how much time passes by, it could be 5 minutes, it could be 30 as I lay there on the floor waiting for the doctor. Clove sporadically takes my pulse, Rue holds my other hand and Joanna continues her back and forth pacing while the time continues to pass. I try to stay awake, but I feel so tired and my eyes start to droop when I finally hear Effie's shrill but authoritative voice coming closer.

"Girls, move out of the way. What are you doing standing around like simpletons? All of you who are working go to the VIP lounge now. Delly watch the front and lead any clients through the VIP entrance. The rest of you go to your rooms." She says, scattering the girls like pigeons. "I have Dr. Richardson with me, how is she doing?"

Clove proceeds to get up to talk to the doctor and Effie about my condition. He comes forward to examine me, pushing Rue aside who is still clinging to me. She explains to the doctor in medical jargon what she has observed and I vaguely wonder why she knows so much and how she ended up here. He says its safe to move me to my room to complete the examination so Thresh comes over and gently picks me up. 

The doctor is about to follow when I stop him. "No, check Rue first," I croak out. The doctor looks like he is about to protest but Thresh growls "Do what she says." I see a flash of genuine fear cross the doctor's face before he goes to attend to her.

As Thresh carries me down the hall I can hear Effie declaring, "Alright girls, back to business." before she follows behind.

Once in my room, Thresh settles me into my bed and Effie helps me change into a loose shirt. The doctor soon follows and finishes his examination. At one point he even brings in a portable x-ray. You have to love Nevada on-call doctors, I'm sure they've seen everything. He confirms Clove's assessment that it is just bruising while Effie attentatively listens as he prescribes anti-inflammatories and pain medication for me. He also says it may take up to a week for me to fully recover my voice and it's okay for me to sleep to start the recovery process. Thankfully he injects me with a powerful sedative to allow me to sleep through the pain searing my throat. 

I feel reality slipping away from me when I hear a man yelling down the hallway and quick heavy footsteps pounding towards my room. Effie leaves to check who it is and then I hear her stern protestations before an angry voice follows. 

"You can't stop me from seeing her," I hear before the door bursts open. The man rushes to my bedside and my eyes widen in fear that it’s Cato when all I see is blonde hair.

"Please no." I whisper trying to shuffle away from the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry Katniss, Effie wouldn't let me see you and wouldn't tell me why." It's Peeta and tears start to slip from my eyes in relief that it's him. "I'll let you rest now," he says briefly touching my hand before turning away. I realize he thinks I'm afraid of him and I manage to capture his hand in mine before he's too far away.

"Please stay with me," I whisper and a look of relief spreads across his face. He takes off his shoes and jacket before climbing into my bed and taking my hand while Effie softly closes the door. He kisses me on my forehead and whispers something that I do not catch as consciousness slips away, feeling secure with his hand holding mine.

___________________________________

Morning light filters through my eyes bringing me back to awareness. I blindly reach for Peeta and only come up with air and blankets so my eyes pop open to see that he is gone and curled up on the far side of the bed is a sleeping Rue. I wonder briefly if he was only a figment of my imagination before I realize that he probably already took off. Disappointment hits me like a punch in the gut knowing that he probably already went home because he was supposed to stay only a few hours for his appointment yesterday.

I bring my attention to Rue and a sad smile comes to my face when I see her in her favorite eggs and bacon pajamas with the bright bruise apparent on her eye and cheek. She looks so innocent in her sleep, no older than Prim. I hope that Thresh takes her out of this; she deserves to enjoy her youth instead of being stuck here at the Ranch. Like me she took a fast pass to adulthood at a young age when her parents died and she was left to take care of her four siblings. Just like me, she was saved from hooking on the street when Haymitch recruited her to the Ranch. We bonded over our shared histories and I'm closer to her than anybody else at the Ranch. Unlike me she has been able to maintain a Prim-like innocence with the ability to still hope and I would take a beating again from Cato in a half-second to protect that in her.

Rue slowly opens her eyes while I am looking at her then she yawns and stretches like a kitten. "You're awake!" She exclaims bouncing up. "How are you feeling Katniss?"

"Much better." I reply, my voice still rough. My throat is vaguely throbbing but it does not feel like it's on fire unlike yesterday. "How are you doing Rue? I'm sorry you missed your date with Thresh." As she hovers over me I take her chin in my hand so I can turn her face and examine the bruise on her face. It is purple but not raised and puffy like it was last night, but it's still ugly enough that she'll have to take an unexpected break from work.

"Girl are you kidding? You saved me. Thank you so much for being there for me Kat. And don’t worry about me and Thresh, he’s taking me out tonight instead. Anyway, he didn't want to leave you either until we knew you were okay. I was in here the moment Peeta came out to talk to Haymitch."

"Peeta's still here? What is he doing with Haymitch?" I can't believe it. I feel a smile spread on my face at the thought that he stayed for me.

"Yup. He's still here," she says with a twinkle in her eye. "I think they're dealing with Cato. We could hear him yelling all night in Clove's room and saying 'please forgive me Mistress.' He deserves it the bastard," she says with a giggle. I can't help but give a soft chuckle too. He has been so horrible, nobody except for Glimmer probably feels sorry for him now. Is it too much to hope that Snow finally gives him the boot?

Rue begins to tell me the new plans Thresh has planned for today when my door opens and I hear Haymitch saying, "Blondie, I hope we have an understanding..." I hear a rumble of assent and they both enter the room. Only Haymitch would have the nerve to call Peeta "Blondie." Peeta is immediately at my side when he sees me struggling to sit up in bed, a question in his eyes if I'm okay. I nod to him yes and give him a small smile which he returns in relief.

"Well I guess I'll be going and get ready for my date." Rue says hoping off the bed with a wink and a knowing smile sent my way.

"Take care of my sister ya hear or else," she tells him only half kidding.

"I certainly will," Peeta answers so seriously it gets an actual giggle out of me. She gives me a nod of assent, and with that she is out the door. Peeta then turns to me and softly touches my throat and the bruise on my cheek as we just stare at each other in the silence that is left. I hear a throat clear and I blush in embarrassment because I totally forgot that Haymitch was still there.

"How are you doing sweetheart?" He asks and to my utter amazement there is all sincerity and no sarcasm in his voice.

"On the mend Haymitch," I say in my scratchy voice which makes Peeta wince.

"Well that's good because I don't need the hassle yet of finding another girl to replace your bony ass." Ah yes, there it is, the real Haymitch. I just give him a scowl and cross my arms. "I want you out of here in an hour sweetheart."

"What the fuck Haymitch? Why do I have to pay for Cato's actions?" I croak out as I can feel my anger rising. Why do I have to be punished for that asshole? To my surprise both Peeta and Haymitch start to laugh which makes me frown even deeper. When did these two all of a sudden become so chummy?

Peeta sees my unhappy face and decides to finally clue me in. "Haymitch and I had a 'talk' with Snow and there was a not so veiled threat that there would be a loss of reputation and business if he didn't get rid of Cato. We also insisted that Rue and you get a week off but as a compromise I will be paying for your loss of revenue and I'll be taking you home."

“What’s going to happen to Cato?” I ask. I want to sing 'Ding Dong the dick is dead' but I know there has to be a catch.

“Snow does not want the authorities involved and from what I know of him he has every crooked cop on his payroll so it wouldn’t be any use trying. He is having one of his men pick up Cato as we speak and he isn’t happy with him messing up his “merchandise” so at least he won’t be getting off easy.” 

I look over at Haymitch and he nods his head in agreement that what he said was true. This just pisses me off more than ever. If there is one thing I hate more than anything is when others feel they need to step in and handle things for me. I get out of my bed and move away from Peeta and I can see confusion in the lines of his face.

"Damn it Peeta I'm not your charity case and I don't need your pity. I can take care of myself and I especially don't need to go home and have my family see me in this condition." That is all I manage to say as my throat starts to burn a little more. The last thing I want is Peeta to pity me; I would rather him see me as just his play thing before that. 

Haymitch rubs his eyes tiredly and mutters "Damn stubborn" and Peeta presses his lips together in frustration.

"First Katniss, you are an employee of the Kitty Ranch and I bought your time so you are mine to do with as I wish, no arguments. Second this isn't just about you, it's about the safety of all the girls," he says in an authoritative voice that sends a thrill up my body, as he turns me around to look at him. "And third, you are going to my home, not yours."

He then circles his arms around my waist pulling me close as I still have my arms stubbornly crossed tightly in front of me. God I forgot how good he smells. "Lastly, it is my turn to show you a place where I'm the most me," he whispers in my ear.

"Oh," is the only thing I manage to say as I look down and bite my lip. He is right, if he bought me, I am under his time. But more than that I can't believe I will actually be witness to his private life.

"Well she's yours now, and it looks like you can handle her because she actually stopped arguing for once," and with that he leaves without a backwards glance and no goodbye.

“I’ll never stop arguing.” I manage to whisper to Haymitch’s back, but I’m not sure if he actually heard me.

I give Peeta a shy smile and he loses the stern look on his face as he kisses me on the forehead. "Let's get you packed."

Once it was made clear that I had a reprieve from the Ranch, with Peeta no less, I couldn't leave fast enough. It only took a few minutes for Peeta to help me pack since most of my practical clothes are already at home. He did find it necessary to add some of my sexier clothing and lingerie as well to take advantage of our time together. I try to slip out of the Ranch without notice but the girls would have none of it. Practically everyone besides Haymitch, Glimmer and Cato were at the front area waiting for me. I ended up getting mascara on my shoulder from a weepy if relieved Effie, hugs from all the girls and a hard ass squeeze from Joanna before I got out the door. With that I was finally going back to L.A. sooner than I expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next two chapters is more of a two parter getting into some of the inside world of Peeta and it's definitely going to be The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Until next time!


	16. Knowing Peeta Part I: The Good

"Why are we exiting here?" I ask in confusion after waking up from a comfortable doze when the Jeep started to slow down. I look at the signs and figure out we are actually only a few miles south of my neighborhood, as he enters the congestion of the Mexican American neighborhood of East L.A.

I was expecting to fly on Peeta's fancy jet, but he said he wanted to take my Jeep since he knows I will need it when I'm down there anyway. He insisted on driving and usually I would never trust anybody with my dad's Jeep, but the look on his face said there would be no arguments. To my surprise it wasn’t that hard giving up the control, especially as I had the view of Peeta’s strong arms working the steering wheel and the clutch the entire way down. 

“We are going to my home, and this is the exit,” he states just giving me a smirk.

“Don’t you live somewhere fancy schmancy like Brentwood, Malibu, the Hollywood hills, etc and so forth?” My voice is teasing, but this is definitely a curious development.

“My parents have the ‘fancy schmancy’ as you so eloquently put it, house in Brentwood. I on the other hand like to live away from all that when I can. I hope you won’t mind not seeing my mother this trip.” A little smirk plays on his lips, knowing full well how I feel about that subject. 

“Oh Peeta, I am so disappointed. I am going to curl up in the fetal position and cry right now because I won’t get the opportunity to meet her again,” I say putting my arm on my forehead in the most dramatic fashion. His laugh rings out in the car pulling me along with him and the lovely sound fills me with indescribable joy.

 

Once off the freeway he goes down Whittier Blvd., a street crammed with small mom and pop shops. Finally, he turns down an alley and parks in a small parking lot behind the businesses lining the street under an awning behind an old sign that says "Rosa's Pandaria."

“You live here?” I say pointing to the back entrance of the bakery.

“No, I live there,” he says pointing at a door one level up above the bakery. “But there is someone at the bakery I’d like you to meet before we go up.”

I can’t help but let out a huff of frustration at Peeta’s masterful ability to be evasive. Then something else occurs to me that I should have thought of before we even left the ranch. I put my hand on Peeta, stopping him before he opens the door, “Peeta, will it be okay to be seen with me?”

“You don’t have to worry about it here. My family doesn’t know about this place and the people you are going to meet don’t care much about my wealth or the circles I run in. You can trust them, they won’t spread anything around.”

“Oh good,” I reply, getting the answer I want but feeling vaguely disappointed. I guess I wanted him to say “Oh I don’t care about being seen with you,” but I push away that completely silly notion, reminding myself I’m a prostitute who literally got bitch slapped yesterday.

“Is everything okay Katniss? Are you in pain?” he asks seeing the small frown that has developed on my face. 

“Everything is fine Peeta. Let’s go in” I answer coupling it with a reassuring squeeze on his arm. When we get out of the warm car the clear cold December air hits me, making me shiver and I pull my arms tight around me for protection. 

"Hold on a minute," I tell Peeta and I reach into the back to rifle through my bag until I find a scarf, which I carefully wrap around my neck to hide the bruising. Luckily the bruise on the cheek wasn't so bad so I was able to use cover-up for that.

Just as we are getting close to the back door he gets a phone call and a look of amused frustration passes over his face, “I’m here, don’t get your panties in a twist. Yes she’s with me. I’ll see you in a sec,” before he hangs up his phone. Now I’m really curious.

We enter the back of the bakery to find several people buzzing around creating all sorts of beautiful Mexican sweet bread or rather pan dulce. I’m surrounded by such delicious smells I feel like I’ve walked into bakery heaven.

A chorus of “Hola Peeta!” greets him as he enters the big kitchen and Peeta addresses everyone by name, a warm smile spreading across his face in a way I’ve only seen him give Finnick or myself. Suddenly on the left side a door to a tiny office crammed with papers bursts open and a little old woman with fluffy white hair walks briskly towards us.

“Mijo! Come está?” she says to Peeta while pulling him down so she can kiss him on both cheeks.

“Bien tia, y tu?” Peeta answers, the smile on his face getting even wider. She starts talking rapidly in Spanish obviously recounting something to him and he laughs and answers back easily. I just stand there amazed by a side of him I never expected. As he slumps on a stool next to her, I find it surprising that Peeta’s usual formal posture is now so relaxed. Equally surprising is how easily he slips into perfect Spanish while catching up with her. I on the other hand couldn’t even get past the first class in high school, well when I actually went to high school.

“Que linda,” she says turning to me. “Es tu novia?” she asks Peeta.

“Espero que sí pero todavia no” he replies. Damn it I should have paid more attention to my Spanish class. “Tia, this is Katniss. She is a good friend of mine and will be staying with me for the week. Kat, this is Magdalena Ramirez. She was my nanny from when I was a baby until I turned fourteen. She’s always looked after me, even after my mother let her go.” At this Mags mumbles “puta” which makes me grin; I for sure know what that word means. Peeta just shakes his head at her. I put out my hand for her to shake, but she surprises me by pulling me into a warm tight hug that I can’t help but return.

“It’s very nice to meet you Katniss and please call me Tia Mags, everyone does,” she says in a thick Mexican accent. “Peeta never brings girls around so you must be something special, especially with that smile you put back on his face.” I can feel myself flush and I’m pretty sure I’m beet red.

“Is the travieso here?” he asks, catching her attention back.

“He’s out front. Probably has five numbers by now and sold no pan,” she answers. "Come on, Katniss looks too skinny, we need to give her something to eat." 

We follow her to the front where the surprises keep on coming when I see Finnick behind the counter, leaning heavily on it as he's flirting with a busty Latina girl. She is completely besides herself talking to ‘thee’ Finnick Odair as she gets him to sign an autograph.

"Are you done inflating your ego?" Peeta says loudly, voicing exactly what I was just thinking.

“Peeta! And the Peeta tamer! It's about time you got here." He abandons the girl to her great disappointment and bounds over to us. "I see you've met my crazy little abuelita,” he says putting his arm around Tia Mags and kissing her on the forehead. She in turn playfully slaps him on the chest.

"Grandmother? I didn't know you were Mexican?" I blurt out. Oh, that was real smooth.

Finnick slightly grimaces at the sound of my rough voice but they all just laugh at my verbal diarrhea. Finnick runs his hands through his hair and gives one of his sly smiles as he explains. "Yeah, on my mothers side, O'dair is the Irish part. Ironically the bronze hair comes from Mag’s side." He points to a picture on the wall of Tia Mags when she was younger and she has hair exactly like Finnick only with grey streaks through it. I quickly get distracted from their conversation while I look at all the wonderful pictures on the wall showing the family through the generations. Among the crowd of pictures there is even one of Peeta and Finnick as rambunctious boys with aprons on displaying their flour covered hands to the camera. I’m so taken by all the pictures the conversation moves on without me until I’m startled by Tia Mags appearing at my side.

“Those boys have been the best of friends since they were pequeños... excuse me, since they were 2 years old," Tia Mags says putting her arm around my shoulders. "Finnick’s mother and father were never around so I used to take care of him too when I watched over Peeta. They would get into so much trouble with each other, mostly because of my little traveiso Finnick,” she says laughing to herself.

“They were adorable. Did they always help out at the bakery?”

“Mostly Peeta. Mi tia owned the bakery at the time and I would bring him over when his mother and father weren’t around, which was a lot. He was always such a good boy. All he wanted to do was please people, he was so affectionate and pobrecito never got enough approval at home. He learned all our family recipes and can still do them without looking at the recipe book. He even decorated our cakes. Finnick on the other hand has always been a troublemaker. He couldn’t make a simple bolio if I asked him to. That boy gave me half my gray hairs, but at least I had Peeta to be a good balance for him.”

I smile looking closer at the picture. Peeta looked like a cherub with his bright blonde hair and baby fat cheeks making it hard to see the sculpted man he ended up becoming. Finnick’s lanky form towers over him and Peeta looks happier than I’ve ever seen him. I wish I knew Peeta back then, what he was like without the dark cloud that always hovers, threatening to overtake him. I bend closer to look at another picture of the boys with Mags at the park and then I feel a wave of dizziness sweep over me and I put my hands on the wall to catch myself. It’s been a long day and I guess I’m still recovering from Cato’s attack.

“Mija, are you okay?” Mags asks noticing my quick spell. Peeta is immediately by my side at those words with a look of concern on his face and I just wave them all off saying that I’m fine, but Tia Mags isn’t falling for it. “Eat this Katniss." She says handing me some pan dulce with chocolate sugar swirls on top of it. Finnick, go take her up to Peeta’s apartment. Peeta, you make her something special to eat.” Her voice conveys that there is no room for argument so the boys just nod their heads respectfully as we all head to the back.

“We’re going to have a bbq at at the park tomorrow and I want to see both of you there. Now get some rest,” she says giving me a hug. Peeta looks like he wants to go up with me too, but Mags pulls him to a shelf full of ingredients to start working. If Tia Mags is anything like Sae, I'm sure she’s not just making him bake but using the opportunity to get some details about me as well. 

Finnick pulls keys off of a hook next to the door before escorting me to the car to get my bag and then up the stairs to Peeta’s apartment. He is charming and talkative as usual but there is a superficial gaiety to him right now that is bothering me. I’ve been around him enough now to know when he is being real or not and I thought he was past that with me. His eyes flicker down to my neck and cheek and then I realize that Peeta must have told him what happened and he is trying his best avoid asking about it. God I hope he doesn’t ask about it. Recounting Cato’s ability to smack me around and choke me into unconsciousness is not something that I am ready to do, ever.

While he fumbles with the keys to open the door, he casually asks how Annie is doing and I know his real underlying questions - Is she okay? Does this happen to her too? Is this what life is like in a brothel? The answer is sadly, of course it does. No matter how upscale the Kitty Ranch is or how they try to protect us from harm, we are not impervious to the violent tendencies of some of the men. Sure they are banned from coming again, but that doesn't mean the harm wasn't done. We've all had to deal with it. But I don’t tell him this, I tell him that she misses him and can’t wait to see him again and I leave it at that.

"Well here we are!" Finnick says a little too chipper. I'm almost humming in curiosity as we finally enter into Peeta's loft and Finnick is good enough to actually shut up for a minute to allow me a chance take it all in. I have to admit, my jaw drops a little. Peeta's place is a gorgeous loft apartment that spreads the entire floor above the modest bakery. The loft is distinctly him, warm and handsome but with sleek elements. The place is a mix of warm dark wood, exposed brick and cold burnished steel. The living space on the left hand side looks comfortable with an old brown leather couch, deep blue cushy chairs, and the brick wall next to it is lined with books. On the other hand the kitchen area to the right is completely modern with a smooth cement countertop and the type of double-wide deluxe oven you only see on display at Williams & Sonoma. Behind the living area, next to the ceiling high windows in the back is his king size bed with an easel set up to the left of it where the window curves. Paintings are scattered everywhere - stacked against walls, on the small modern dining table and mounted. I can only assume that they are his, and I see that he considerably downplayed his wondrous talent. One glaring omission in his flat are any pictures of his family. There are plenty of the Ramirez but absolutely none of the Mellarks. 

"So how do you like it?" Finnick asks nudging me on my side to get my attention back his way.

"Like I can definitely live here for a week," pops into my head and when Finnick laughs I realize I said it too.

"Well that's good, because Peeta is not going to let you go while he can have you," he says this with one of his patented winks but I know he is being completely serious too. He looks like he wants to say something else but he just ends up saying he'll leave me to get settled in and makes sure I know he really wants me to make it to the barbeque then with a salute saunters out the door.

Once he is gone I plop my bag on the bed and take advantage of the solitude by snooping through Peeta's things in private. Going through his paintings I discover Peeta was being modest about his talent. There are some paintings that look so real you feel like they are a photograph. Others he has broken down in broad flat brush strokes that make it look abstract up close but from afar creates realistic images. His portraits of people are almost unnerving how he seems to almost paint their very soul.

I discover around 30 paintings peeping out from underneath a tarp in a closet when I go looking for the bathroom. My curiosity gets the better of me and when I pull it off I see that each and every one of them is of a naked woman. I squat down to take a closer look and the more I look at them, the more they bother me. If you couldn't tell these women were important by the opulence of the background, or the expensive jewelry dripping over their exposed breasts, then you could certainly tell by their arrogant faces. Each woman looks cold, mean, like they had as much feelings as the jewelry they displayed. And somehow I could tell that each of them just had been thoroughly fucked before being painted, they just oozed it. There is also a sketchbook filled with more women, all with the same disdainful faces. I throw the canvas over them, not wanting to think about it and close the door.

After I finally find the bathroom, I wander back to the living space to settle into the couch when I notice a guitar lying on the floor next to the bookshelf. I pick it up and I realize it's a double string guitar just like my father had. Mom pawned it when I wasn't looking even though it had brought in more money when I was using it to sing on the street. This one looks almost as old as his was and as I draw my finger softly across it's strings, it's almost as if I can feel it's very soul.

I pick it up and sit on the couch, crossing my legs. I start to strum it and find it’s in tune so I start playing an old Carole King song my dad used to play for me when I was little. My voice is still too rough too sing yet so I hum along with the tune I'm playing. I'm so lost in what I’m doing that I don't hear Peeta coming up until he is leaning against the doorway. He gets my attention by clearing his throat and I'm drawn to his eyes which are an intense dark blue that reminds me of the sky during a heatwave and I can't help but swallow hard. Playing the guitar, legs crossed, I know we are both thinking of the day we met.

"How are you feeling Katniss?" he finally asks, walking in and putting a covered plate of food on the coffee table in front of me.

"Much better, thanks Peeta, for all of his. So what did Mags force you to make?" He pushes me forward so he can sit down behind me, his legs on the outside of mine and he kisses me on the neck before pulling the cloth from the plate. He may try to hide it but I am quickly figuring out he is rattled over the Cato thing and wants me as close to him as possible while he can have me.

"Well you have a pork tamale, some more pan dulce, flan, and my own childhood experiment of a cheese bun."

"Well I'll have to eat the childhood experiment first," I say looking over my shoulder and kissing him on the cheek. I pull the bun, steaming in my fingers and pull it in half. A soft cheese stained red with chili starts to ooze out of it and I scoop it in my mouth before it goes everywhere, licking my mouth and fingers. What goes down my chin, Peeta is kind enough to lick up himself.

"Oh my god Peeta, this is amazing! What's in it?" I haven’t been hungry all day but one bite and my stomach grumbles for more.

"It's just queso fresco mixed with chorizo. Those two along with bread were my three favorite things to eat when I was younger so I had to put them together."

"Well you obviously had great taste." I say reaching behind me so I can pop a big piece in his mouth.

"Mmm hmm," he hums before swallowing the food. His hands come to rest on my thighs as he proceeds to give me more soft kisses on the neck. "Some things I definitely have good taste in."

I pull the plate on my lap so I can lean against him while I carefully choose what to feed to myself and what pieces to give to him. After the food is all gone we just sit there in companionable silence. I start to fall asleep while I feel the rise and fall of his chest, my head tucked under his, as he gently strokes my thighs with his fingertips.

After an indeterminable amount of time I wake up and realize that the room is almost completely dark now. "So am I keeping you from anything tonight?" I ask, hoping Peeta is still awake.

"Nope," He replies. "My only duty is to make sure you feel better."

"Well Mr. Mellark, you are doing a fine job of it." I turn around so I am in a position where he is cradling me and I lean my head against his shoulder. He takes the hint and undoes my braid and starts running his fingers through my hair, while the other hand still continues to stroke my leg softly.

"So you don't mind going to the family barbeque tomorrow? Together they all can be kind of loud and rowdy. And you don’t have to worry about the bruises on your neck. I told Tia Mags that you were attacked in a robbery so that gossip will spread like fire to the rest of the family. I hope you don't mind." I look up curiously at him, the usually eloquent Peeta Mellark is actually awkwardly bumbling through his words. For the first time since I’ve known him Peeta looks nervous.

"There is nothing I would like to do more," I say rubbing his chest and giving him a peck on the lips. He gives me a relieved smile. Then I realize he is hoping I approve of the Ramirez family. They are who he considers as his family, not his mother and father, and he wants me to like them. I'm actually meeting his family tomorrow, and a nervous thrill goes through me. I put my head on his chest, the smile won't leave my face as I doze off again.

 

_________________________

 

Staying with Peeta is going to kill me, and it won't be pretty. Right now I am lying spread out flat on Peeta's bed waiting for him to come home willing my body to digest all the food I have consumed. I blame this on Tia Mags. She is on a mission to make me less skinny and at the rate she has been stuffing me with food I have a feeling she is succeeding. I guess death by gluttony is not the worst way to go.

It's already Wednesday and I don't want this week to end. I was beyond nervous when I went to the Ramirez family barbeque at Grant Rey Park on Saturday, but the family is just like Tia Mags - warm, welcoming and funny. She has such a big family I don't know how she remembers all their names, but every single one of them welcomed me like I was part of the family. 

Peeta stayed at my side the entire time, making sure to introduce me to everyone while Finnick was there whispering in my ear all the family gossip. Besides everyone being so friendly, I can see why Peeta likes to be around Tia Mags’ family. Years of growing up around them meant he is given no special treatment from anyone else for his wealth or status. He is just Peeta to them. In fact Peeta turned a very cute shade of tomato red when Finnick’s cousin Beto started calling him Ángel. They let me in on the fact that Finnick and Peeta were known as El Travieso y El Ángel for Finnick’s ability to get into trouble and Peeta’s ability to stay out of it.

“Although I started all the scrapes we got into, Peeta would be the one who continued it. But that bastard could sweet talk his way out of anything,” Finnick told me good naturedly.

The best part of the whole day is I could actually relax around all of them. When Peeta was tending the grill Tia Mags confided in me that Peeta was considered part of the family and people like his mother weren’t to be trusted, so what he did around them was none of that “puta’s” business. Also looking around the park at all the Latino families, none of them seemed to take notice of one white man wearing a t-shirt and jeans. This truly allowed us to be normal around each other, away from the circumstances that labeled us. It made me feel closer to Peeta at this party, with his arm always wrapped around me, more than I ever did having sex with him in the brothel. With all the joking, dancing and eating I don't think I've had so much fun since my father was alive.

Staying in Peeta's loft also makes me feel like I'm on a break for the first time in years. It's so nice to be away from my own reality since for once I don't have to take care of anyone and I'm not waiting for the next john to pay for sex. While Peeta is away I have spent my days either helping out Tia Mags in the bakery or wandering the neighborhood. I have never spent any amount of time in the East L.A. area and I am enjoying exploring all the tiny shops and cheap eats options.

Peeta has been so gentle with me, not once has he made me sleep with him. He insists that I rest and now that I feel better, I am definitely done with the resting part. In fact today I have spent most of the day in the bakery to distract myself from waiting for Peeta to come home. That is how I find myself in my current state of fullness having eaten the tamales and pan dulce I helped make.

I look at the time and see that is around 4 pm, two hours before Peeta usually comes home, so I decide taking a nap seems like a lovely idea. The sun filtering on the bed feels so good on my skin and I am on the edge of sleep when my phone buzzes. 

_'I have some business to attend to for my mother so I won't be in back until really late,'_ Peeta texts. I can't help but feel the wave of disappointment and unease that hits me. The last time he was working late for his father, he gave me a call to warn me, but something about the mention of his mother doesn't sit right with me. I have to remind myself that he just hired me to stay with him and he is responsible for his own time and she is his family, no matter how much I think she is a raving bitch. I try to convince myself that my unease comes from getting too used to being around him everyday and that I just need to detach my emotions a little more. 

By the time 9 pm comes around, my emotions are still very much attached to Peeta, no matter how hard I try to distance myself and I am pacing the loft, unable to settle down. He never told me what what time he was coming back but I know it's too early. A sudden knock at the door makes me jump and when I open the door I find Finnick is standing on the landing with a bottle of wine in his outstretched hand, flashing one of his 500 watt smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a little bit more explanation this time around. I know a lot of people were expecting her to see his family, but Katniss is recuperating and why would he want to put her through that sort of torture? :) I wanted Katniss to have some good to come out of what she experienced with Cato. And the good is Peeta letting her into what he hold dear. 
> 
> I also wanted Peeta to have good people in his life to explain why he was happier in the past and to give him some grounding. I actually grew up in the Latino Community of Montebello and the neighboring city of East L.A. From my own experience, it can have an insulated small town feel where people are protective of their own. For being so close to L.A., Hollywood and anything trendy might as well be in Timbuktoo. So it is not outside the realm of possibility for a person like Peeta who was practically raised by Tia Mags to not only be welcomed by her family but protected from potentially prying outsiders. 
> 
> Lastly, I had a couple of fair cousins with freckles and reddish/bronze hair and one who looks like Justin Timberlake so I thought it would be fun to actually have Finnick be half Latino. 
> 
> If you couldn't tell by Finnick's visit, next week will continue more into the background of Peeta. Until next time!
> 
> I appreciate your comments and kudos if you like!


	17. Knowing Peeta Part II: The Bad & the Ugly

"Finnick, what are you doing here?" I ask sounding a little too accusatory as he slides past me towards the kitchen, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek first.

"Good to see you to Katniss. Peet told me that he would be out tonight so I thought I would take advantage of having your company alone tonight," He answers suggestively wiggling his eyebrows, as he takes out a bottle opener for the wine. Something is up, he has that damn actor charisma facade fully on tonight but his nervous hands are fumbling with the bottle like he's never opened one before.

"Ok, cut the crap, what's going on Finnick?" I say crossing my arms, deciding it's best to just get straight to the point. Finnick feigns shock at my remark before seeing that I'm completely serious and not having it so he let's go of the facade completely. 

"Alright Katniss, I wanted to talk to you about Peeta, but can we at least warm up with some wine first? I like to go into these things less than sober." He pops open the cork and reaches for some glasses. 

I sit at a barstool across the counter from him watching him move comfortably around Peeta’s kitchen. I decide I might as well give him a chance. Now that he's actually being real with me and he let’s the mask fall, I can see a look of deep concern on his face. "Is he okay Finnick? What's going on with him?" As Peeta’s best friend hopefully Finnick has the key to what he’s holding back from me.

He slides the overly full wine glass across the counter to me and takes a big gulp from his own glass. "He's...he's okay right now." He says twirling his glass, looking at me intently with his sea green eyes. "I know you’re just a prostitute Katniss, but how do you feel about Peeta?"

I can't help but wince at the words "just a prostitute" so I take a big gulp of my own wine before being too hasty with my words. I know Finnick is just trying to feel me out before he reveals anything, I can understand that he really has no reason to trust me.

"I care about him," I say not knowing where to start. "Do you know about our history Finnick?" 

He nods his head. "More than you think Kat." I suppress a groan of frustration, the bastard is just dangling the carrot of information right in front of me now. I polish off my glass and push it in front of him for a refill, giving myself time to think about what I'm going to say.

"He saved my family and I with his generous act. We wouldn’t have survived much longer without his gift, but it was more than just the money I received that day. There was something in his eyes that said it was okay to hope, that things can be good again. Most of the time it can be so hard to believe, but it's always still something I've held on to." I stare down at my glass lost in the memory of that day, just letting the words flow out. "The day he came to the Kitty Ranch I was scared to see him again, partially because he knew me, but mostly because he was so different. I couldn’t find that look inside his eyes anymore, it was gone. He no longer has that ability to hope and it hurts me more than I can say.

I finally look up at him and I can see he understands what I'm talking about. "So yeah, I care about him. Probably too much for my own good. I know what we're doing can't last, that he has to move on, but I want to help him as much as I can while he lets me. I want to see him happy, I want to see him have hope again and that'll be enough for me when he's gone." 

My heart is too full to go on and I blush with shame for saying so much. Too my surprise Finnick walks around the counter and gathers me in his arms and holds me tight. "Thank you for caring about him Katniss. You have helped him so much already," he says, his voice muffled in my hair.

He pulls away and leans his body against the counter, crossing his arms and takes a deep breath. "There’s something you don't know about those events that I think it's only fair you know. He will never tell you and would kick my ass for this, but you can't go into this blindly. You do know that his mother is a sadistic bitch right?" 

I give a humourless chuckle. "Yeah, she certainly knew how to put me in my place that day."

"Well what you don't know is the impact you had that day on him and his life. Peeta went back to Farmer's Market every day after that hoping to see you again, hoping to tell you that his mom was wrong, but you never did go back did you?" I shake my head and flush in embarrassment. "Peeta had just graduated from Stanford when he met you. It had been good for him being away from his mother for those four years. He was finally becoming his own man and planning his future without her influence. Sure he still took the political science major she wanted, but he was gaining his own independence and she didn't like it. Her grand political aspirations were not to be waylaid by the dreams of a boy. That woman can find the weakness in the toughest men, and she found his weakness was you."

I look up confused and he puts his hand up indicating that I need to be patient. "She was ready to start his political career, to control every aspect of his life including who he dated. After that day they had a huge fight, actually he told her she no longer controlled his life and that he deserved to find someone he loved, not the rich bitches she kept pushing at him. She said girls like you were whores that would suck any man's dick for money, that he was just another mark for you." 

It hurts so much to hear this that I can't look at Finn anymore. He puts a comforting hand on my shoulder and continues. "I hate to tell you this Kat but it gets worse. She never let up on him for a minute. Anytime he tried to defy her, she would taunt him about you. She would say she saw you in a dark alley giving it up, saw you shooting up, and things so much worse that you don't want to hear. I know because she was never afraid to say it in front of me. He may have given up looking for you but he stubbornly refused to listen to anything bad about you. 

Then he fell in love with a waitress named Cashmere. It was his way of defying her, telling her that girls that weren't rich were worth his time. But he was so wrong about her. She manipulated him just as much as his mother did and used him for his money. I tried to warn him about Cashmere, but he stopped listening to anybody at that point. It all came to a boiling point when one day his mom found that stupid bitch fucking someone in their mansion. She just took pictures with her phone and sent it to him, saying this is the type of taste he had. It broke him. He became a shell of his former self, started using people rather than be used because he didn't see the point in trying anything else. He did what she said and never questioned her again." 

"Oh God Finnick," is all I can choke out before I feel a heavy burden settle on my shoulders. I just sit there on the stool and clutch his hand on my shoulder like it's a lifeline. It all clicks. I think back to the anger in his eyes the first time he saw me at the Ranch, being tested that first night, his mood swings and calling me his whore. I was his example of what was good out there but I ended up being almost everything his mother said I was. 

"Is this your way of saying I need to leave him? That all I've ever done is damage his life?" I finally manage to say. He looks at me with such pity I let go of his hand and walk to the couch and curl up in a ball. He comes over to me and kneels down and holds my chin in his hand so that I look at him.

"That's the thing Kat, I think that's the worst thing you can do. When he first told me that Diana was you, I plead with him to forget you and move on. I thought for sure that would break what humanity was left in him. But he didn't listen to me and kept seeing you. And then the light started coming back in his eyes again, the old Peeta I've grown up with is starting to come back again. He told me he is even seeing a psychiatrist, I could hardly believe it. I think you are the key Katniss. Please don't run away from him. I really believe you are making him better." 

"Haven't I already failed Peeta from the very beginning? I am exactly what his mother has always claimed me to be. Is it wise for me to be even around him?" 

"I can't explain it Kat, but he needs you. I hate to put this on you but I believe you can take it because you are strong and you obviously care about him. I wouldn’t have told you all this otherwise.”

“What do you need me to do?” 

He gives a sad chuckle. “If I knew that I would have told you already. Just don’t give up on him. I know I’ve thrown a lot on you at once so I'll leave you to think about it. I'm sorry to put all this on you." Not waiting for an answer he gets up and I walk him to the door. He gives me a warm hug and leaves without another word. 

I don't know what to do anymore. He gave me so much information to take in. Now our entire "relationship" if you can call it that is called into question. I don't even know how he can even want to see me, let alone fuck me the way he does if I'm everything he's feared me to be. I have been wanting to know what is this dark cloud over Peeta, and I guess I should be careful what I wished for. I am the very person who has caused so much pain in his life. I decide the best thing to do is just to go to bed and shut the world out and hope that things become more clear in the morning. 

Of course the night gives me no reprieve from the thoughts tormenting me and sleep constantly evades me. It doesn’t help that as the hours tick on Peeta still hasn't come back home. It isn't until almost 4am when I hear the key in the door. I curl up in a tight ball pretending my best to be sleeping. I hear his heavy steps as he takes off his shoes and then walks over to hover over the bed. He gives me a kiss on the forehead and I have to suppress a sob. He smells like expensive perfume and the all too familiar scent of sex. He fucked someone tonight. 

He walks into the bathroom and I hear him turn on the shower ignorant to the fact that he’s left me in turmoil. If it wasn’t for the conversation with Finnick tonight, I would probably make a run for it while he’s in there. I’m actually not angry because I know I have no right to make any judgements or assumptions, but I am filled with a deep sadness that I don’t know how to cope with and I can’t help but rub the place over my heart futilely. 

I’m not delusional that he would save himself once a week for me, but now it’s obvious I’m not enough for him. He hasn’t touched me all week and he needed to go to someone while I’m sleeping in his very bed. Do I just look like some broken girl now because of the Cato incident?Just another pathetic soul to help out and let go? Is he already looking for a replacement? All these questions swirl in my head, but it is now crystal clear that I don't want him to be with anyone else and I don't want to be with anyone else anymore either. Shit, I’ve tried hard to fight it but I'm hopelessly in love with him and nowhere to go with it. Worse is that after what Finnick told me, I don’t believe that Peeta would ever be capable of truly loving me back. Finnick said to stick by him, but right now it feels like it’s over. 

He finishes up in the bathroom and slides in the bed next to me, his back facing mine with not one bit of our skin touching. I can feel the steam from his back rising against mine and it takes all my power not to turn around and hold him, but I feel there is an invisible barrier between us and I have never felt so far away. Two hours later, I still haven’t slept and the sun’s dim light is starting to peek through the windows. I turn over and see that he appears to be in a deep but troubled sleep. There are bags under his eyes and he is frowning. Peeta mumbles my name and I can’t help but lean over and kiss him on the forehead. This makes him sigh and relax a little more. 

I silently slip out of bed and throw my clothes on. Tia Mags must have started in the kitchen already and I desperately need to get out of this place and do something with myself. When I get down there, the kitchen is humming with activity and everybody greets me warmly. 

“Mija are you okay?” Tia Mags asks immediately as she sees my pale and tired face.

“I’m fine Tia, I just didn’t have a good sleep last night, so I thought I would come down and help you out.” She pours me a cup of coffee and puts some pan dulce in front of me insisting I eat and drink before I get started. Her face is tight with worry and she is about to ask me something but to my relief she gets pulled by a worker about an order. Since Christmas is close, the bakery is working overtime and my extra pair of hands are a helpful addition to the chaotic kitchen. Thankfully, I am able to numb my brain with making tamales for the next six hours and I’m grateful that Tia Mags is too busy to ask me any questions. 

When noon comes around Tia Mags pulls me aside with a big plate of food. “Mija, I know Peeta is still here because his car is out back. Take him some food okay?” I can’t argue with her or she’ll really know something is wrong so I tell her sure thing and head out the door, reluctant to face what’s upstairs. 

I swallow hard when I get to the top of the stairs and I open the door cautiously. I scan the room and find Peeta sitting in front of his easel completely naked, painting furiously. He is so caught up in his work that he doesn’t even notice I’ve come in. Did he just get out of bed and go straight to the canvas? I approach him cautiously and tentatively call out his name. “Peeta?” I feel like my voice echoes through the room, but he still paints, not missing a beat.   
“Peeta?” I ask again, putting a shaky hand on a shoulder. He immediately turns around, eyes dark and grabs my arm harshly.

“Peeta, it’s me Katniss.” I say my voice becoming high-pitched in alarm. His dark eyes soften in recognition and he lets my arm go, his shoulders slumping forward. 

“I’m sorry Katniss. Did I hurt you? I was lost in thought,” He’s staring at his painting. I don’t touch him again but get closer to look at what is obsessing him only to find another rich woman, naked except for her jewelry.

“Is this who you slept with last night?” I’m surprised my voice doesn’t sound accusatory, it just sounds defeated. His eyes widen in surprise but then they look just as defeated as mine do as he nods his head. “Are all those paintings in the closet women you’ve slept with?” He just nods his head again and his shoulder slumps further down. 

“Why did you sleep with her when I’m here? Are you done with me?” I ask in a small voice. I didn’t want to bring it up, to sound so vulnerable, but the words came out before I could stop them. He turns around, realization coming to his eyes.

“Oh no Katniss, it’s not like that at all.” He pulls me towards him, and he wraps his arms around my waist resting, his head upon my breast. He holds on tightly to me as he speaks, head turned towards the painting. “I didn’t want to go out last night, but I had to appease mother since I’ve been gone so long and I don’t want her to find out about you. My mother thinks there are certain obligations I need to fulfill in the cause for political gain. There are powerful and influential women who are all willing to support what she is asking of them for a certain price. I find myself many times to be that valuable price. She calls it ‘convincing our supporters.’ My brothers do it too. I’m really no different than you Katniss, we just run in different circles.”

I am left completely speechless for a moment. This rabbit hole just keeps getting deeper. Monique Mellark is actually pimping her son out for her own political greed. I don’t think Finnick even realizes how far the manipulations of his friend by his own mother have gone. I put my cheek on his head and hold him tighter, wishing I could protect him. 

“Why Peeta? Why do you let her do this to you?”

“It was easier before when I stopped caring, when I made myself forget you. I had been hurt badly by someone I thought loved me and it was easier to finally give into my mothers taunts that I was worthless, that everyone was bad, that it was better to use them than be used. I didn’t care about myself anymore so I gave in and seeing my father gain so much from what I did made it seem worth it.” 

Peeta turns his head so his chin rests between my breasts as he looks up at me. “Please forgive me Katniss. You are the only one I ever want to be with.” There is a childlike plea in his voice and those words sound so sweet coming from his lips and it makes my heart soar as well as burn in anger towards a woman I have barely met. I was so wrong earlier about how he felt about me. It's hard to believe this was the same cold man that stepped into my life a few months ago. 

I stroke his cheek softly and hope I convey to him that I hold no anger. “There is nothing to forgive Peeta,” I say as I run my fingers through his curly hair. His eyes close at the feeling. "Please don't give yourself up for that bitch. You captivate people with your wit and charm alone. I've seen it, I've been captured by it. Don't ever forget you are much better than that." 

He just nods his head, his eyes still closed. “I’m so tired Katniss,” he says sounding like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. I pull him up and push him back towards the bed. He looks up at me as I strip off all my clothes, including my underwear and slip into the soft welcoming sheets and pull the blankets over us. 

“I’m tired too Peeta,” I say pulling him down so his head is on my breast again. He wraps his arm around my waist and I run my fingers through his hair again until he falls asleep, and then I finally fall asleep too.   
_________________________________

It’s dusk before we actually get up again. I wake up to him licking my breast, and I lean into his moist mouth before I open my eyes. I slide my hands up his broad back when I hear my stomach grumble loudly and we both start laughing. 

“Well I hate to break this intimate moment, but I think we should feed you.” Peeta says kissing the tip of my nose. He pulls me up and I slip on my white tank and silk shorts before making my way to the kitchen. Peeta starts warming up the food that Mags had me bring up while I fix a salad for the two of us. Although we really didn’t solve anything with Peeta’s confession, he seems a little lighter than before, smiling easily and holding my hand as we eat our food. I think it helps that he finally has somebody who understands the burden he's had to carry all these years and doesn’t pass judgement. I feel better knowing that he cares for me and what we have is not over. From all the turmoil I went through last night, the biggest thing I’ve learned is that I love Peeta with my whole heart although I am not naive enough to think he loves me in that same way. I also would never have him give up all he's worked for to be with me but now I am more determined than ever to make sure he’s happy and knows his worth.

After dinner, Peeta makes me relax on the couch as he washes the dishes so I decide to pick up the guitar again and start practicing some tunes. It's been a long time since I've played regularly but it feels good to have my fingers dance along the strings. I always avoided it thinking it would be too much of a sad reminder of happier days, but the more I play the more I feel whole again, like I'm reunited with a lost part of myself. 

I am so lost in playing the guitar that I don't notice Peeta is done with the dishes and is sitting across from me in the leather chair with a large sketch pad in front of him.

"What are you doing Peeta?" I ask knowing what the answer will be.

"What does it look like?" he answers with a lopsided grin. "I'm sketching you."

“I don’t know Peeta,” I say glancing at the painting he was working on. “I don’t want to be another one of your women you capture on canvas.” 

“That’s the thing Katniss, I don’t want to paint those women anymore. I want to draw someone special to me. I want to move past all that. Please Katniss. All you have to do is keep playing the guitar." I make the mistake of looking into those pretty blue eyes of his, and damnit I can't say no.

"Alright," I say reluctantly. I try to get back to strumming the guitar but I am too self conscious now, knowing that he is capturing my movements with every stroke of his charcoal. I keep shifting my legs to get comfortable, but I feel like I'm all awkward limbs.

I hear Peeta give a huff in frustration and I look up at him. "Katniss, you are not making this easy on me." He unfolds his limbs from the chair and stands up, taking a few big strides towards me and pushing the heavy coffee table aside. He kneels in front of me, pulling the guitar out of my hands and props it on the sofa next to me.

"What are you doing Peeta?" I ask as his large hands takes a hold of each of my thighs and pulls them apart.

"I'm helping you relax, now stop talking," he says in a low voice so much like a growl. It doesn't surprise me that I'm instantly wet. Peeta slowly raises himself up until he's eye level with me and then bends his head to my neck so he can take my earlobe in his mouth. As he sucks on it, I feel two fingers press at my core, pushing onto the small piece of silk cloth so that it creates a pressure at my opening and my breath hitches at the feeling. He pulls back and he looks like the Cheshire Cat, his grin is so evil in it's satisfaction. He continues to press firmly at my core making the tension build down there but still not enough for a release. My hips start moving forward as my head falls back at his skilled movements.

Peeta than slides my tank top down on my left side and bends down to take my breast in his mouth. As he licks and suckles it, my pelvis starts to pulse forward, towards his hand, trying to get greater satisfaction. He finally takes the hint and pushes the cloth aside to insert two fingers into me as his thumb presses firmly on my clit. 

"Oh god that feels good," I brokenly pant out. He starts to pump his fingers into me hard while his thumb never gives up its unrelenting pressure on my clit, moving in tight circles. He finally let's go of my breasts, pulls my ass all the way to the edge of the couch and his tongue joins in with his fingers. 

“Touch your breast for me,” He says looking up at me with predator eyes. I comply, squeezing my exposed breast while my other one grabs onto his hair. God I forgot how good he is at this. The pressure builds to an exquisite height and I dig my fingers in his hair as I start to buck wildly. All the pent up frustration I’ve had this week leaves my body ready for a quick release and soon I find myself breaking apart as I cry out hoarsely. I'm floating in ecstasy and I’m not ready to come down to earth, so I let my eyes stay closed as my head lolls back onto the couch. When I finally come back to myself I see that Peeta, is sitting in the leather chair again sketching away furiously. 

"Thank you for cooperating Katniss," he says, his chin still shiny from my arousal. I throw a pillow at him which he easily dodges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a tough one to write but I've had this in mind for Peeta since the very beginning. I hope this clicks for a lot of people.
> 
> As a quick fun fact, LA Latinos eat a ridiculous amount of tamales during Christmas. Bakeries always have long lines out the door of people purchasing them. 
> 
> Lastly I want to thank my beta Demona424 for all your help. You always know the right thing to say when I can't!


	18. Things Left Unsaid

I listen to the rain doing a tap dance on the roof of my Jeep as I lay my forehead on the steering wheel. I take in the comforting smell of the old leather seats and remnants of tobacco smoke, willing my muscles to relax. With my eyes closed I can just imagine my father's laugh as he takes the three of us on one of his unexpected excursions, not even knowing himself where the final destination would be. Simply sitting in the car has always been my therapy on the roughest days. There are a number of occasions Joanna would find me hiding out in my car and pound on the Jeep to force me out of the +100 degree heat. But I think the tangled mess that is my life is even too much for car therapy this time.

I never thought I'd find myself wishing that I was back to the simpler days of working at the brothel without it intertwining with my personal life and creating such a mess. God how I hate that. I shouldn't be wistful about having sex with generic Joe Schmoe but here I am doing just that. There are so many components of my screwed up life that I need to figure out right now, so many potential missteps I can make, that I feel like my brain might go through a meltdown just trying to figure out what I should do next.

My mind is stuck in an endless loop of the problems in my life, with Peeta circling around the most frequently. I'm caught in a seesaw of emotions with anger, hurt, empathy, and love each taking a turn at the front because of the secret he's revealed to me. 

It hurts that I could once again feel his defensive walls rising up again after that Thursday afternoon when he shared one of the most painful aspects of his life. For the rest of my stay he had an artificial smile that competed with anything I’ve seen from him on television. I should have talked to him more about what he told me, get him to let me in a little, but I didn't. Now I regret not pushing him more and breaking down those walls again, but I was a coward. I only had until Friday evening with him before I had to drive back home and I just wanted to enjoy the rest of my stay with him.

Peeta took that last day off to be with me and the rest of the time we had together was bittersweet. The play act of being a regular couple was shattered after what he revealed and the haven we found with each other didn’t feel real anymore. But we were both guilty of trying to push away reality, never discussing the past or the future. When we had our final hug goodbye at my car, I barely held on to the large bag of treats Tia Mags had given me as we clung to each other tightly in a long tight embrace; as usual our actions speaking louder than our words.

I feel like if I had just one more day, we could have started moving forward again. At this thought I bang my head against the steering wheel. Really what kind of "moving forward" can we really do? For the millionth time I ask myself how far can our relationship really go when our lives are so far apart? All I know is that it's only a day and a half and my heart aches to be with him, to hold him, make him smile, to feel him inside me and to make sure that bitch of a mother is far away from him.

I look up and see Sae’s house looking grey and dull through the sheen of falling rain. Her home has always been a place of welcome but because of Seneca I have been robbed of it’s comfort. Now it is just a place to dread and avoid as much as possible. That is why I am still sitting in my car parked in the driveway after I drove Sae home from the diner. I told her that I was going to make a call before I went inside, but that was a total lie. I just wanted a few more minutes before I had to go back in there. I pick up my phone and will Peeta's number to light it up. I want to call him so badly even though it is against Kitty Ranch policy to do so. I won’t though, not because of the policy, but because I don’t want to overstep his boundaries or lead him to potential damaging exposure. My phone suddenly lights up and I have a moment of hope before I let out a strangled groan of frustration when I realize it's the Kitty Ranch number flashing again. I have been ignoring their calls for the past two days and I keep telling myself I'll call them back soon. I'm sure it's just Effie checking on me but I want straight details about what’s going on, so I call the one person who won't give me sugary words.

"Well it's about time you called Brainless," Joanna answers as she picks up my call.

"No hello Jo? How are you doing?" I bite back. I don’t expect a bedside manner from her, but her abruptness still rubs my already short temper wrong. Why did I call her again?

"Hell no Kat. You've pretty much been MIA since you left and I'm not the only one pissed you've left us hanging. We didn't even know if you were okay," she answers back and is that a little bit of hurt I hear in her voice? 

"Sorry about that Jo, I've been pretty distracted. I'm fine, I'm healing. The bruises are slowly going away and the voice is still rough as you probably can tell, but overall much better."

"Well everyone will be glad to hear that. So how is it going in La La Land Kitty Kat?" she says sounding more upbeat.

"Do you really have to call me that right now Joanna? You know how I hate it." I pinch my nose feeling a headache coming on as I let my head rest on the steering wheel again.

"That good huh?" I can hear her unsuccessfully attemptin to suppress a laugh." Joanna can see right through any short tempered retort I have. "So not going well with Thor?"

Somehow she manages to pull a chuckle from me with her new nickname for him. "That is a complication I'd rather not talk about right now, but if it makes you feel better, he treated me very well this week. But no, he is not the reason I am sitting in my car right now."

"Oh god not the car! You must be feeling really sucky. Let me guess, Daddy Crane drove you to this current thumb sucking?"

"Joanna do you have to call him that? It's bad enough that I hear him banging that empty shell that was once my mother. I didn't pick up the phone so I can reveal my painful family experiences. I wanted to see how things are going at the Ranch and let you know I'm okay. Is Cato gone for real?"

"He sure is." Joanna answers and thankfully takes the cue to move on from my home life. "Snow personally picked him up the day after you left and I thought he was going to stroke out he was so pissed. He''s pretty much left the Ranch to Effie and Haymitch again. Thank the lord the lush is back in charge. Snow still wants him to do the damn party bus but Haymitch only does it once a week now, or less than that whenever possible."

"Well thank god for that. I wish the bastard was in jail though." I feel my shoulders loosen at the thought that I really won't be seeing Cato again; one problem hopefully gone.

"Yeah. I hear ya on that one. If it makes you feel better I think I really did break a couple of ribs when I kicked him?" I give a small chuckle and tell her that it does make me feel better. "And you mi amiga are starting to reach legendary status with the new girls."

"How so?" I ask confused.

"Don't be a dunce Kat. You have one of the richest sexiest client the Ranch has ever seen, who disposes of the big bad wolf for us and then whisks you off? That's all the girls have been talking about this entire week. It would drive me crazy if it wasn't for the fun factor of Glimmer being a miserable bitch. That girls stank face might be permanently etched now." Joanna starts laughing to herself and I think she might have forgotten I was on the phone.

"Joanna!" I yell to get her attention back. Once I'm sure she is listening again I continue, "Can you please chop down my so-called legendary status. I have no idea why anybody would want to look up to me of all people."

Joanna snorts at this. "Lord, I don't know why anybody would look up to you either." I would hit her, but she is miles away and I sort of walked into that one anyway. I roll my head against the warm steering wheel that I'm still leaning my against, but I hear the front door open so I take a peek out the window and see Prim running out in the rain towards me in only a light jacket. Unfortunately, I'll have to cut the conversation short.

"I gotta go Jo, but I'll see you before New Years okay?" I say as I lean over to unlock the Jeep door for Prim and she quickly hops in.

"Sure thing Kat, and call Haymitch please. He wants to talk to you before Christmas Eve and he's been bitching about you ignoring his calls and I don't want to hear his grumblings anymore."

"Yeah yeah, I'll call him back. Bye Jo." She returns the goodbye and I hang up the phone. I turn to Prim who has been rubbing herself to get warm while she waits for me and I'm surprised to find a cross look on her face.

"What are you still doing out here?" Prim asks, her face scrunching up in annoyance, just as I am about to ask her why she ran out to the car.

"Oh I was just talking to Jo to see how she was doing Little Duck." I answer trying to hide my surprise at her almost rude manner.

"Don't you see her all the time? Why do you have to call her too? And please stop calling me 'Little Duck', I'm almost a legal adult, I think you can start calling me Prim now," she says and turns her head to just stare at the water flowing down the window. Prim's annoyance was apparent the moment she got in the car and she's left me so flustered I don't even know how to begin to answer her. I've never seen her act like this. Ever since I got back I started to notice that she seemed a little off and now this bad attitude is shining a spotlight that something is glaringly wrong. What the hell is going on with my little sister?

"Sorry Prim, I know you are too old for me to call you that. I just forget sometimes how fast you are growing up, and you'll always be my sweet little sister." It's always been an effort in futility for me to control my temper, but I am trying really hard right now so I don't get in a fight with her. With everything going on in my life right now, I couldn't handle that right now too.

I notice her hands are clenched into fists on her lap while her head is still turned away from me. I slowly put my hand over hers and rub circles with my thumb until her hand relaxes and I take into mine. Prim finally turns her head towards me and I can see her eyes soften with a guilty look.

"Is everything okay Prim? I can see something has been bothering you since I've come back."

The usually locacious Prim just shakes her head but I can see tears pooling in her eyes. I move my other hand and wipe the tears away.

"Prim, please, what is it? Is it mom's boyfriend Seneca? Is he bothering you? What is wrong?" I am really concerned now, and I feel guilty that I have been unaware that my sister has been unhappy. I have been so wrapped up in my own selfish problems that I have neglected to make sure Prim was okay with the big changes in her own life. Now I'm worried that she has decided to shut me out of her life and looks at me like someone who won't be there for her.

"No, Seneca has been really nice to me. I don't mind him. I'm fine Katniss, really. I can figure out my own problems, I'm almost an adult after all. I just wanted to tell you that dinner is almost ready," she says. Her voice is a mixture of resolve, sadness and defensiveness. All components that do not soothe my fears.

"Okay. Don't ever be afraid to let me know what's going on in your life. I'm here for you always Prim."

"Okay, Katniss. And please don't worry about me." She gives me a sad attempt at a smile and I can't help but reach out and hug her tightly to me.

"Okay okay mom... geez," she says after a moment, laughing and hugging me back. "Oh and the Hawthorne's are coming over for dinner." With my jaw hanging down to my knees she jumps out of the car before I can say anything.

I open jump out of the car and yell out to her retreating figure, "Is Gale coming too?"

"Yes!" She says barely turning towards me before she is in the house. Shit.  
___________________________________________________

Dinner is an awkward affair to say the least. The moment the Hawthornes walked into the living room, the looks exchanged by Hazelle and Sae tell me they arranged this forced socialization for Gale and myself. It would be hard enough dealing with Gale on my own, but add not only both our families but Seneca as well to witness our combusted relationship, I might as well have just stayed in bed today.

The scraping of silverware on plates grinds through my bones as it feels amplified by the stilted conversation at the dining table. When Gale entered the house, he didn't give me a passing glance before sitting on the couch and glowering like a sullen teenager. He took this attitude to the table and has barely said anything to anyone let alone me. Prim is still uncharacteristically quiet and only has a whispered conversation with Rory. Victor and Posey are also more subdued than usual, affected by how miserable everyone at dinner looks. Sae and Hazelle try their best to get everyone talking but they are continually put off by Crane's pompous and rude comments and soon the frowns are growing on each of their faces. I really should try and contribute but I've never been one for empty talk and I am also still painfully conscious of my raspy voice.

"So what are your plans tomorrow Katniss? Do you still have some Christmas shopping to do?" Hazelle asks me, making me check back into the conversation.

I swallow some water before speaking, hoping my voice will sound as normal as it can. "I am actually almost done Hazelle, but I was hoping to dive into the shopping madness with Prim." Hazelle murmurs how nice that would be but I'm distracted by Gale's head snapping up at my voice and his eyes narrowing on my neck. Shit, he's finally noticed. I turn away from his stern gaze to look at Prim but she is frowning and not looking at me. I thought the word shopping would for sure bring out a smile on her face. 

"Oh Prim will have no time tomorrow Katniss," my mother says, speaking for the first time that entire evening. Everyone turns to her but she doesn't say anything else but smile at Crane. 

"Prim has been invited by her grandparents to a Christmas Eve political Gala." Crane pipes in with a simpering smile. "I am taking the girls shopping before final ettiquette lessons for Prim. I hope you don't mind that we steal her away Katniss."

I don't even know what to say. I should have stopped being surprised at being systematically excluded from the family but now they are just so blatant about it. I look over at Prim and she shifts her eyes up at me and I can see the guilt and shame shining in them before she looks down again playing with her food. I look over to Sae for confirmation and she looks just as confused as I feel so clearly I'm not the only one out of the loop. Sae is my life line to Prim when I'm gone so now I am even more worried that she doesn't know what's going on.

"Well that's fine I guess if that's what Prim wants. We'll have Christmas together anyway." I manage to say although I know I'm not at all successful at hiding the hurt from my voice. I try to take another bite of my food, but the mashed potatoes now feels like wet paper that gets stuck in my throat. 

"That's right Katniss. It's good that you don't hold Prim back from these opportunities. Unless you have connections you would rather share with he," Seneca says with a sly smile. 

"I didn't know you were taking ettiquette lessons?" Hazelle asks with curiousity. Prim cheeks just redden and she nods her head. 

"Oh yes she is, thanks to the generosity of her grandparents," Seneca continues. "She is learning valuable lessons which will carry her into her future. She won't be laying down on the job like others do." With that he takes a sip of his wine and only passes a quick glance at me. I can feel my face flush with shame and embarrassment and it takes all of my willpower not to leave the table and run back to my car or the happier alternative, kicking him in the balls. 

"Well I think it's time for dessert. Katniss will you help me serve it?" Sae announces loudly and I jump up so quickly my chair almost falls over. 

When we get into the kitchen Sae knows exactly what I need and she envelopes me into a tight hug as I take in huge breaths of air while I try not to cry or punch something. 

"Don't cry child. He's not worth it. It's okay. You're okay." She says rubbing my back as I lean my head on her shoulder. 

When I have calmed down somewhat Sae leads me to the kitchen counter and sits me down on a stool. She pulls out her step stool and reaches all the way to the back of a high cabinet over the fridge and pulls out her trusty bottle of Jim Bean. She then takes out two glasses and pours a generous amount for each of us and hands me a glass. I gulp the entire shot in one go, and close my eyes shut as I focus on the sweet burn travelling down and I feel a slight bit of calm settle over my shoulders. 

"What the hell is going on Sae? Things have changed so much and I’ve only been gone three weeks. And Prim? I’m being systematically cut out of her life aren’t I? She can barely look at me anymore. I feel like I'm losing her, like I mean nothing to her."

Sae smoothly swallows her own glass of whisky and pulls out the cake and ice cream for us to prepare. 

“You're right child, things are bad around here and I don’t know how I can stop it. I’m being cut out just as much as you are from Prim’s life. She’s been whisked away practically everyday after school to her grandparents house and she hasn’t let out a peep about what it's about. And believe me I’ve tried to get her to talk. She doesn’t even work at the diner anymore. Crane was the one who told me she had too many “priorities” with her grandparents. He had the nerve to tell me she would get the wrong lessons by serving others.” Sae’s face is etched with worry which does nothing to ease my own fears. She’s always the one to tell me things are going to be alright. 

“Have you met her...our grandparents Sae?”

“No. There’s always a sedan to whisk your mother and her away. Those people are probably too snooty to think of stepping in this neighborhood. Only Crane comes 'slumming' around here.” With that she plops a huge chunk of ice cream so fiercely on a plate it splatters on the counters. She curses under her breath and pulls out a towel to clean it up. 

“He threatened me Kat,” she says, anger lighting up her eyes as she cleans up.

“What?” Fear and worry course through my body as I take in everything Sae is telling me.

“He knows I’ve been asking around about him. He threatened me the other day that he’ll make sure I would lose the diner and the house if I kept it up. When I told him I didn’t care, those were just things, he said he’d find a way to make you pay. He wanted to make sure I carried the message to you too. He’s dead serious Katniss. Watch your back with that man.”

“Sae what are we going to do? God, I’m so sorry for bringing this man into your life.” My hands are shaking so badly while I gather some spoons I decide I need a little more liquid support so I pour myself another shot of whisky. 

“Girl, it’s not your fault,” she said taking my hand. “He came here because of that good-for-nothing momma of yours. Thanks to you we know the man behind the suit and he couldn’t pull a fast one over us from the beginning.” I take her hand and just nod my head. She’s right, he would have come into our lives anyway, but at least our eyes are wide open. 

“Katniss, have you thought of telling Prim what you do? You can’t keep her in the dark much longer. She needs to know what she’s facing too.” I grip her hand tightly as I picture Prim’s possible reactions to finding out what I am, and none of them are good. I made this decision for our survival but I'm afraid because of it I'll lose her.

“I know I have to, I do, it's just that.. I’m so afraid Sae,” I say as tears start to slip from my eyes. “She just looks up to me and I don’t want to see the disappoint or even worse, disgust in her face when finds out what I do. I couldn’t take it.”

“She’ll understand Kat,” she says taking me in her arms again. “She’s a good girl, give her some credit. Now come on, we better get back out there before they think we’re milkin’ the cow to make the ice cream.”

I give a weak laugh and wipe my tears before I pick up some plates and exit the kitchen. When I enter the dining room I know my face must look blotchy so I keep my head down and don’t look at anyone as I pass the plates around. Posy and Vic are so happy about the chocolate cake and ice cream that they chat merrily about their favorite desserts relieving the awkward silence. When everyone is done, Hazelle announces that they’d better be going. She probably wants to run out the door after this catastrophe. I thank her for coming while all of us except for my mom and Crane walk them out. I can't help but see a look of disappoint in her eyes since her attempt at forging peace between Gale and I crashed and burned. 

The persistently quiet Gale surprises me by asking me to talk in private when we are on the porch. We get uneasy looks by everyone around us but they move on to Gale's car, leaving us behind in privacy. I pull him to a quiet corner of the porch and I gulp nervously as I wait for him to speak, watching him pace back and forth. I'm dealing with so many bigger battles right now, I just want my best friend back.

“Katniss what happened to your neck?” he asks abruptly.

I can’t help but cover it with my hands protectively while a flash of anger runs through me. 

“If you have to know I was attacked on the street and luckily some good samaritans pulled him off me,” I say with as much conviction as I can. I have been using this lie with everyone, except Sae, and I am confident I pulled it off until I see his eyes narrow down on me with disbelief. Damnit, I’ve never been able to pull one over him. 

“Strange that you seem to keep coming home injured. It’s not that guy your seeing is it? The one you dumped me for because if it is...”

“No Gale! It’s not him” I whisper fiercely looking right and left to make sure nobody is hearing us. “He would never do anything like that. We aren’t even dating.” Well technically that is true. “I’m fine Gale. You don’t need to protect me, I can handle things on my own.”

“Just...” he sighs angrily and runs his hands through his hair again. “Look, I don’t know when I’ll ever not be angry with you. I can’t help it, you gutted me Katniss.” His look is so full of intense hurt, I want to hug him but it takes all my power not to reach out to him as I wait for him to finish. “This doesn’t mean that I don’t care. I know you are independent but you never have to go through things alone. I know there's something wrong going on here, so know I’m still here for you if you need it, even if I am pissed at you.”

“Thank you Gale, I appreciate it. I really do.” I say softly taking his hand in my own. He squeezes it so lightly it could be mistaken for a twitch before pulling away and walking off the porch to his waiting family. 

After the Hawthorne's car disappears down the street we go into the house each looking dejected in our own way. Sae and I start cleaning up the kitchen and Prim looks uncomfortable as she enters.

"What is it honey?" Sae asks as we both turn around from the dishes. 

"I.. umm.. I'm sorry I didn't tell you both about the gala. Please don't hate me. I really don't want to go, but grandma and grandpa really want me to. I can't even take Rory with me," she pleads.

"Oh don't worry about us hun, we aren't dress up folk are we Katniss?" she replies nudging me, the look in her eye telling me to be kind to Prim.

I give her a small smile and nod my head. "Yeah, you know I don't like to be social and can you imagine me in a fancy dress? You have fun and take advantage of the rich perks while you can," I say my voice only cracking slightly. Prim looks relieved and comes over and hugs me. 

"I love you Katniss," she says into my shoulder.

"I love you too Prim." I say holding her tightly, feeling that small moments like this are going to be less and less frequent.

"I'm going to read in bed if that’s okay?" she asks after we separate. Sae tells her to run along and she leaves without a moments hesitance. Although it is somewhat of a relief to hear her say she loves me, it doesn’t escape my notice that she tells both Sae and I together so I can’t drill her about the gala and then leaves immediately. 

Once Sae and I are done cleaning up, I decide it’s time for me to go to bed too. I feel completely depleted from the day so I wish her goodnight and head to the family den. I’ve made the den my permanent residence everytime I visit now, liking being so far away from Crane and my mother. There is also the added perks of a television when my insomnia hits hard and a lock on the door. 

I can’t help but smile as I discover that Sae has already prepared the couch as a bed for me complete with a down comforter and newly washed sheets. She even left my pile of unopened mail on the side table ready for me to go through. I don’t care about pajamas right now so I just shed my pants and slip out of my bra, leaving on only a t-shirt before I slip into the sheets. I turn on the television and watch it in a daze for a few hours flipping to random crappy shows not really caring where I land. I finally doze off around 1 am when suddenly my phone rings and at first I’m ready to ignore it but my curiosity gets the better of me. I fumble for it on the table next to me and when I see the number suddenly I'm wide awake and I answer it as fast as I can. 

“Peeta?” I ask almost hating myself for how happy I am that he called me. 

“Hi my little Kat,” he answers, his voice filled with warmth. 

“Why are you calling right now? It’s so late.” Immediately I want to stuff the words back in my mouth fearing he'll think I don’t want to talk to him. “Not that I don’t want to hear from you,” I say back peddling and I cringe at how awkward I must sound. 

Peeta lets out a low chuckle that vibrates straight down to my core. “I’ve been surrounded by a lot of fools tonight so I wanted to talk to someone who was real. Is it bad to say it’s been too long even though it’s only been a few days?”

“It feels the same for me too Peeta,” I say as relief floods me at his words. “I wish I was back at your apartment right now.” 

“I hope that scenario has you in my bed, naked, with me on top of you,” he says. I close my eyes and I can imagine his eyes dark, full of desire as he says those words. 

“Yes,” I say with a whispered sigh. I suddenly start laughing and I can hear Peeta go “What?” before I finally stop.

“It’s just that I’ve talked to you for one minute and you’ve made me so hungry for you I’ve forgotten all my problems already. How do you do that?” 

“What’s going on Katniss?” he asks, his voice full of concern.

“Oh it’s nothing you can help me with. Stupid family issues,” I answer trying to brush it off. I don’t need to burden him with my own problems or remind him of the other men I'm with. 

“We are supposed to look after each other remember? What is it?”

His voice is intense and commanding, but filled with an openness I can’t resist. Suddenly it just all spills out. Crane’s appearance into my personal life, my grandparents who I’ve never met, Prim’s sudden distance, even the stupid gala they’ll be attending. Once I start I can’t stop. He listens patiently the entire time, only asking pertinent question here or there. The only things I glaze over is Crane’s threats to Sae and myself. The last thing I want is for him to overly worry or get involved in this mess.

“...It’s just I finally had a loving family again, you know? After my father died, I worked hard to get to this point were we were functioning and I feel like it’s being taken away from me,” I finish. It's such a relief putting it all in words but my stomach still twists with nerves at what he will think. 

“Thank you for confiding in me Kat.” Peeta says sincerely. “Tell me what you need me to do, and I’ll do it. How can I help you?” he asks with a slight plead in his voice. 

“What can you do Peeta? It’s my mothers decision to date him and it’s not like Crane's done anything I can hold him to. Not really. He's just skeevy. And my grandparents have a right to see Prim if my mom lets them.” God, it’s really hard to admit that, but it’s the truth. I don’t have parental rights over Prim so I can't say who she can or cannot see. I feel utterly helpless that my mother has so much power. 

"Look, I'm supposed to go to that Gala. I can at least check him out..." 

“No Peeta. I don't want you getting involved. What you’re doing right now is all I need, just listening, understanding. It just helps knowing that someone cares... that you care. It helps more than you know."

He sighs in frustration but I can tell he's giving in. "I know what you mean Katniss. It's the same for me too," he replies. I can hear him swallow hard. "And I care about you so very much."

After his words I don't know what to think or say so the silence stretches between us. The air feels very heavy with unsaid words so I decide it's time to steer the conversation in a different direction. 

"Tell me something funny Peeta. I need something to laugh about. And you’re always so serious," I say trying to use my best Heath Ledger Joker voice. 

Peeta laughs and calls me a dork, which I am glad to take just as long as I can hear that wonderful sound. He launches into a story about Finnick first attempting to get into acting and trying to act like a cholo for a small bit role. He unsuccessfully tried to hang out with some of the gangs in the neighborhood and they just laughed at him, pull down his low haning pants and walked away. By the end the the story I am in tears laughing. From there we start trading stories about when we were kids and the trouble we got into. We are on the phone for more than two hours and I finally feel like I can breathe again. I reach over to my mail to thumb through it as we talk and notice a fancy envelope with my name in calligraphy so I open it in curiosity. 

"Peeta I'm sorry but I gotta go," I say interrupting him. 

"Is there anything wrong?" he asks. 

"No, no. I just forgot to call Haymitch. He'll still be up right now and I need to talk to him. I'll see you soon okay?" 

"Yes, I'll arrange with Effie our next appointment." He is back to sounding formal but there is nothing I can do about it now. 

"I can't wait until I see you next time okay?" I hope my voice conveys my sincerity. 

"Okay my little Kat. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I reply. Once he's off the line I immediately dial Haymitch's number tapping my foot impatiently.

"You could have called me earlier sweetheart," Haymitch says when he finally answers the phone. Although he sounds grumpy as hell, at least he doesn't sound drunk.

"Stop your grousing Haymitch. I know you're an insomniac just like me. Now I was looking in my mail and I found something that I have a feeling you know more about," I answer.

"So you finally got your damn invite did you sweetheart? I've been trying to get you to call me for the last three days but you’re so fucking stubborn about not calling back." Haymitch really sounds annoyed right now but I don't care, this is too important. 

"Haymitch, why is Plutarch Heavensbee inviting me to fancy political gala? What's going on?"

"Hell if I know. He called me complaining that you hadn't RSVP'd yet. He wants you there as Katniss Everdeen and he is willing to pay for your time at his party. So stop your bitching, buy a fancy dress, and pretend you like people." I can hear Haymitch rifling through his drawer and I'm pretty sure I've driven him to drink. 

"How long did you know that this was going on?"

"Long enough sweetheart. And I know you are going to ask me why I didn't warn you, and that's because I knew you'd find a way out of it. Less time you know about it the better. Just call that designer friend of yours and have him fix you up."

Damn it, Haymitch he knows me too well. I really don't have enough time to figure out how I would get out of it. "But Haymitch this is my time off. Why the hell should I go to this thing? And my family is going to be there, and clearly my grandparents despise me. This is not a good idea," I say trying a last desperate attempt to spill as many excuses out as I can, in hopes one will stick.

"No butts Katniss. You knew when you signed up to this gig that the clients get what they want, time off or not, especially someone as important as him. Just fucking do it. Now I need to go and kick some drunk frat boys out of the brothel."

With that he hangs up the phone before I can say anything else. I turn over the invitation not quite believing it's real. Plutarch is a ridiculously rich media mogul and my biggest client. If he wants me there, I will have to be there. But knowing him as I do, it's no coincidence I am going to the same gala my mother and Crane were invited too. Plutarch is a puppet master and he is not looking to invite a high paid hooker just for kicks. I guess I'm going to the ball after all but this Cinderella would definitely rather stay home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, all the components of the previous chapters are starting to come together so I want to make sure I get it right. It will become a snowball effect of events after this. As always I appreciate your comments.


	19. Taming a Yeti

"Owww! Do you have to pull so damn hard?"

"Well beauty is pain my dear and if you took half as much care of yourself like you should, I wouldn't have to pull so much hair from your eyebrows as I have to. You're more yeti than woman," replies Flavius, Venia, or Octavius... I don't know which name goes with which of Cinna's minions buzzing around trying to get me ready for this damn gala.

I have to admit that this is no small task for them especially considering I have been in the foulest mood of my life since yesterday morning, and that’s saying something. This is compounded by how vicious their beauty regime has been, leaving no part of me untouched. I'm just grateful that I am already completely shaved below otherwise I fear the pain they'd inflict on me with hot wax.

“My eyebrows are just fine,” I mumble like a petulant child. I’m ready to tell him that my customers don’t seem to mind my 'bushy' eyebrows when they still pay me gratuitous amounts of money to fuck me, but it would be stupid to out myself just because I'm sick of sitting in this chair of beauty torture. 

“Your sister is just so much easier to work with, she's such a joy. I can’t believe you both are actually related,” Flavius says, or at least I’m 85% sure now that is his name. Unintentionally, his remark sends me in a tailspin of funk and I am quickly lost in my own dark thoughts.

Yesterday morning, I woke up in a panic that I had to go to this damn thing and I didn't know what to do, what I was going to wear, or if I should bring someone. I immediately called Cinna to beg for help and he very willingly complied, opening up his schedule for a dress fitting that afternoon.

After many words of thanks from me, when I hung up with him I immediately ran towards Prim's room to tell her the news, hoping her excitement at my attending would be the one bright spot of being forced to go to this glorified shindig. I was about to bound up the stairs when Sae stopped me, saying that Prim was already gone, that she had driven off with Crane and my mother early in the morning. If that wasn’t bad enough, Prim had a bag packed so she could stay at her grandparents mansion so she wouldn't be back until the morning after the party, on Christmas, in three days.

For the first time in my entire life I was mad at Prim. I was so completely, irrationally, over the top mad at her that it almost hurt to breathe. I couldn’t hear anything except the blood pumping in my ears as I stood with my foot still on the bottom step, hand gripping the railing. Sae had to push me to the couch and force me to stay there so she could make me a cup of herbal tea. I sat on the couch, the grip on my mug so hard my knuckles were white as she plead with me that Prim needed us to be more understanding than ever. I knew deep down that I should wait to hear why she kept this piece of news from me, but the hurt of being left out by the one person I trusted the most was so overwhelming I couldn’t think straight. I just wanted to go back to the Ranch and remove myself from everyone.

It took a five mile run before I began to see reason again. I just changed into my running gear and took off without acknowledging Sae. When I got back, sweaty and tired, the hurt was still very much there, but I felt mentally ready to face my "family" without immediately wanting to explode at them all. I hopped into my jeep and headed to Cinna’s and the soothing comfort of my jeep quieted my stormy mood even further, helping me decide two things. The easiest decision was to simply not call Prim and tell her I was going to the gala, instead I would wait to see her reaction when she saw me there. The more difficult decision was to disregard Sae's advice that I should tell Prim what I really do for a living. I told myself that our relationship was too much on thin ice for me to tell her something that could make me lose her forever. A tiny but very persuasive voice whispered that she didn't deserve to know all of me.

"Okay Katniss, let's move you to the styling chair," Venia tells me in a sweet upbeat tone. Being so caught up in my thoughts, the time spent being poked, prodded and scrubbed has gone faster than I expected. When I come back to the present they have already washed my hair and are ready to style it.

"So how are we styling the hair?" Flavius asks.

"Just don't stick it with a bunch of pins," I answer crossing my arms in front of me as I stare at my wet mop in the mirror.

"I wasn't talking to you Katniss," he answers haughtily. I look into the mirror and I see Cinna's wife Portia smiling at me from behind. Her kind brown eyes express very much in the same way as Cinna's in their ability to comfort without saying a word. She walks towards me with a very feminine swing to her ample hips, her beautiful african print maxi dress swaying with her every move.

“How are you doing Katniss?” Portia asks as she puts her hand gently on my shoulder. I really don’t have a reply that wouldn’t sound fake or sarcastic so I just shrug my shoulders. Portia gives a tiny frown before turning to her stylists.

“Take a break, I want to work on Katniss’ hair,” she commands.

“But she hasn’t...” Octavius starts to say but Portia gives him a stern glare.

“Do as I say. Come back in an hour for the final touches.” And her voice leaves no room for argument.

They all shuffle out and I hear the words “obstinate” and “bitch” muttered but I’m not sure if they are talking about Portia or me. When she is sure they are gone, she closes and locks the door, then goes to a drawer and pulls out a comb and scissors and proceeds to trim my hair. Her quick fingers are so soothing running through my hair that I am starting to relax for the first time in this entire process.

“I locked the door because I don’t trust them enough not to come back and try to eavesdrop. They are excellent at what they do, but they can fray the nerves with their constant prancy attitude,” she says shaking her head, her dark corkscrew curls bouncing, but there is still a smile on her face. Sure enough there is a small wiggle of the door knob and a huff before heels click away and I can’t help but give a small laugh. Portia gives me a look that says “told you.”

"You know I'm going to have to treat them to drinks tonight and hear them bitch and moan after having to deal with you," she continues, amusement still laced in her voice.

Regret immediately hits me at her words. They are silly little things with maybe one brain between the three of them, but they have always been nice to me and my problems are not their fault. "Yeah I know. I'm sorry Portia, how about if I leave some money for all of you to buy dinner and drinks? And make sure you tell them I think they are brilliant stylists."

"They will love that Katniss, you are a good girl,” she says squeezing my shoulder. She turns on the hair blow dryer and starts efficiently pulling a brush through it.

"So what is it about this shindig that's got you so wound up?" I grin at her use of the word "shindig" since I’ve been using that word to describe the gala since I heard about it.

"What isn't there to be wound up about? Do I really look like someone who should be attending one of these things. It's like sticking a mockingbird with peacock feathers in a sad attempt to blend in with all the other fancy birds."

"Have you heard a mockingbird sing compared to the squawk of a peacock? The power of a mockingbird's voice far outshine any pretty feathers of a peacock. And you may not see it but you contain a mighty power that only you don’t see. I've seen you at the brothel. The girls want to be you and the men want to be with you to get even a little taste of what you have. Why do you think that as his muse you inspire Cinna's creations to have such fiery beauty? A gala with all those rich fools isn't any different. The women will still want to be you, the men will still want to fuck you, and you may inspire a few more."

"Portia, can I take you everywhere with me just to pump up my ego?" We both laugh, but I can't help the small frown that follows soon after.

"Alright I know you can take on the pompous elite so what's really got you scared?" she asks, noticing my frown. She hits it right on the nose with the word "scared" and I realize I have been using anger to deny what I'm really feeling.

I let out a big sigh, closing my eyes because it's easier to say it when I don't see her looking at me. "My grandparents hate me and they don't even know me. I'm scared that Prim will see all the things I can't give her which they can. I'm scared I will get there and discover that I have already lost Prim to them."

I don't open my eyes when I'm finished and I can hear her click off the blow dryer. She turns my chair around and I open my eyes just as she wipes a tear that has escaped from my eye. She bends down so we are face to face and I see a fierce glint in her eye.

"Well then she'd be a right damn fool," she says. I was not expecting that and I can't help the smile that lifts the corner of my lips, which was probably her intended effect.

"Thanks Portia, how was Cinna so lucky to get such a wonderful woman like you?" I say taking her soft brown hand.

She just shrugs. "I didn't let him get away."

This woman is amazing. She managed to help dissipate my anger, make me actualize my real feelings, and make me smile all at the same time. Most importantly I feel like I have some of my fire back, not just irrational anger. Cinna truly is a lucky man.

"Well the next time you come to the Ranch I will have to find a way to thank my favorite customers for all their help," I say with a sly smile.

"I won't say no to that," her eyes taking on a mischievous gleam. "Well if you don't mind I'm going to let the trio back in to finish you up and check on how Cinna is doing with the dress, not to mention make sure he is presentable himself." She gives me a soft sensuous kiss on the lips, flicking out her tongue lightly, and then stands up and sashays out the door. 

Cinna's minions come in with frightened tentative looks, but when I give them a small smile they visibly relax and continue their work.

__________________________________

My hands are nervously fidgeting with my silk robe as I pace back and forth in Cinna’s dressing lounge as I wait for the final part of my transformation, the dress. I really want to twist the ends of my hair which is my go to nervous twitch, but I don’t need the wrath of Portia's minions because I messed up their hairdo masterpiece. My hair is perfect, my make-up looks impeccable but I am missing the essential pieces, unless Cinna expects me to go in a red thong with bare feet. I look up at the clock and my heart pounds a little harder as I realize that this thing starts in only half an hour and Cinna has yet to make an appearance with my dress. Where is he?

The door suddenly bursts open making me jump, but to my relief Cinna and Portia come in, laughing as they walk towards me. My dress is in his arms and I break out in a smile when I see how handsome he looks. Cinna is impeccably dressed in an all black suit, coupled with a skinny black tie. He has on his signature gold hoop earrings and just a touch of gold eyeliner. But what really sets off his outfit are the shiny black combat boots he has tucked his pants into, definitely not gala attire and I love it.

“I see my date was too busy primping for the ball to get my dress ready,” I say as he encases me in a warm hug and kisses me softly on the cheek. He pulls back to give a feigned look of offense.

“Honey, I always look this good,” he says and I hear Portia let out a snort behind him.

“Don’t believe him Katniss, you should see him in the morning with his nappy hair sticking all over the place, puffy eyes and fierce morning breath,” she replies. With his left arm still around my waist he turns around to shake his right fist at her, but we all laugh at how non-threatening he is, including Cinna himself. I’m glad more than ever that I asked Cinna to escort me to this gala. Not only will he fit right in with his urbane charm, but he always knows how to put me at ease and give me that boost of confidence I need. Hell, he’s just given me a hug and joked with Portia and already I feel more relaxed and ready to conquer this event. 

Cinna lets me go so he can unzip my dress from the garment bag and pulls it half way out. When he looks up to see my reaction I try to hide that I am surprisingly underwhelmed by it. It just appears to be a simple red dress with spagetti straps.

“I know that look Katniss, just relax that crinkle in your forehead and try it on first." Cinna says, and as usual completely relaxed and unphased by my reaction. "This is one of the dresses I thought up when I was sketching you that day.” He pulls out the dress and shakes it out. Getting a full look at the dress I see it has a subtle ombre effect starting below the knees, going from a dark red to a deep orange.

“No bra for this dress Katniss,” Portia says as she pulls at my silk robe and slides around me to pull it off at my shoulders, leaving me only in my small red thong. I wonder sometimes what it would be like to be shy of nudity. I am naked so often for so many years, I can only vaguely remember what it was like to feel uncomfortable, like looking at someone else’s story. Cinna holds the dress for me and I slip into it. The fabric is thin, light and surprisingly comfortable. I was afraid that he was going to put me in some monstrosity of a dress I couldn't move in, but the fabric whispers around me and I move easily in it despite it having a train in the back.

"Here are your shoes Katniss," Portia says and to my surprise she hands me a box that hold the gold Christian Louboutin shoes that Peeta had sent to me what felt like eons ago, but have only been a couple of months back.

“Where did you get those?” I ask sounding a little more cross than I mean to.

Cinna just chuckles. "Haymitch called me as soon as he heard about the gala from Plutarch. He asked me to start working on a dress and he sent me the shoes instructing to make sure they match."

I inspect the shoes like they are an encrypted message. Haymitch just doesn't send things because he cares and thinks I'd like to wear them. That drunk bastard is sending me a message. I stare down at them and I know he's not just trying to remind me that this is a job, I've known him long enough to know it's not that simple. I slip them on, stand up and then I get it. He wants me to bring Diana Flynn in with me. He wants me to remember who I am at the brothel - a woman who is powerful, in control, confident and with men lining up to be with me. He is saying not to be scared, be smart, and that I can handle anything.

"Don't you want to see what you look like?" Cinna asks breaking me out of my thoughts.

He pushes me by the small of my back to the large three panel mirror and I get the full effect for the first time. When I look at my reflection, I take a sharp inhale, not believing the image staring back at me. It's not like I'm not used to wearing makeup, but everything they did to me makes me into some sort of fierce sex goddess. The eyeshadow is just smoky enough to give me a smoldering look without being overwhelming; paired with soft ruby lips that look plump and inviting. My bangs frame my face perfectly, and my hair artfully flows behind my back with only one side pinned up with a red rhinestone clip. It has such a healthy shine that it looks like I could just toss it back and forth like in a god damn pantene commercial.

And the dress, oh did I ever underestimate Cinna when he first pulled it out. It is artfully simple and complex at the same time in only a way he could create. The cut of the dress seems relatively simple with spagetti straps, a rounded scoop neckline that shows a good amount of my décolletage while managing to look tasteful and thankfully not showing any nip action. The thin cotton blend material looks like it was molded to my body as it it hugs my every curve and the straps criss cross in the back so that it looks sexy while I feel secure that there won't be any unintended wardrobe malfunctions. I've never felt like I've had much of a shape, not like the other ample Kitty girls, but in this dress I feel like I have the body of Sophia Loren. Where Cinna's brilliance really comes into play is the bottom of the dress. It is ankle length with a small train that floats behind me. The amazing part is the ombre effect. At first I thought it was just a simple fade from red to orange, but he managed to add orange rhinestones so small they are difficult to spot unless you're up close and don't weigh down the dress as well. They wink every time I move and I can't help but twirl in the dress and smile as the bottom seems to catch on fire. 

"Oh my gosh Cinna, this is just.. How can I ever.." I can't even finish a sentence, because I am at a complete loss for words. Portia and Cinna are beaming with pride as they look me over. He strides over and takes my face gently in his hands and touches our foreheads together.

"This is how I see you Katniss. You are a fierce, beautiful phoenix, always to rise from the ashes. Everyone bows down to you. Never forget that tonight. And I will be with you every step of the way." I wrap my hand around his wrists and nod my head since my throat is tight with suppressed emotion. He kisses me on the forehead and then we separate.

"Alright kids, if you hop into the limo now, you will be just fashionably late enough," Portia says opening the door so we can all step out.

The Minions are waiting outside the door, eager to see the final results and they all gasp and applaud throwing out compliments to each other at how amazing I look. They may be silly, but they are sweet and I'm surprised to find that they have easily forgiven my bad mood. I thank them for being brilliant stylists and let them know drinks and dinner are on me. You can see them all puff out with pride like little colorful birds and I suppress my need to laugh. 

What I didn't expect to see was Sae sitting in the front room, waiting for me. She stands up when she sees me enter the room and her face breaks out in biggest smile I've seen in a long while.

"What are you doing here Sae?" I say as I step over to wrap each other in a warm hug.

"Well I couldn't let my baby girl leave without seeing how beautiful you look now can I?" she answers. "Also I have something for you. A good luck charm for tonight."

She pulls out a small wooden box etched with leaves on it. I open it to find a round gold pin of a bird that looks like a blend of a mockingbird and blue jay holding an arrow in its beak. A delicate gold chain has been attached to it so that I can wear it as a necklace. There is something about this pin that calls to me, like I was always meant to have it.

"It was my grandmothers. She brought it with her from the old country, one of her only possessions of value left before she finally settled. I was always meant to pass it to my daughter, so now I want you to have it because I'm so proud of who you are and I love you as if you're my own blood," she says putting her arm around my shoulder.

"Damnit Sae you're going to ruin my makeup," I say putting my head on her shoulder, struggling to keep my eyes dry. "Thank you it's beautiful. I would be honored to wear it. I love you too old woman." 

We both wipe leaking tears and laugh at our unusual display of emotion. She then takes it from my hands and deftly puts it around my neck. I turn to a mirror and see that it sits perfectly in the middle of my chest and seems to beautifully complete the outfit. Now I am ready.

____________________________________

The butterflies don't start their volleyball match in my stomach until the limo passes through the elaborate gates of Plutarch's mansion. Knowing Plutarch he probably wanted to have the gala at his home rather than at an expensive hotel just to show off his gratuitous amounts of wealth. That man has an ego that can fill up an air balloon and just as inflated, so I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be satisfied living in a loft space above a bakery like Peeta.

My suspicions are confirmed by my first glimpse of his sprawling mansion. Located in Malibu, it is in a prime location and of course precariously close to a cliff's edge. At three stories high and long as a football field, I'm pretty sure he could fit ten of Sae's house in it. With it's Roman columns and floor to ceiling windows all lit up, I would say it was beautiful if it didn't seem ridiculously too much to me. The limo rocks slightly as the wheels turn on the cobblestone driveway, looping around a large spraying fountain depicting two young warriors in battle lit up by multi-colored lights and I can't help but roll my eyes at it's tackiness.

Our limo stops behind six others waiting to unload it's passengers in front of the grand front staircase and it gives me a chance to take in the spectacle before I am forced to be a part of it. Torches line the staircase and there is an actual red carpet and red ropes that leads up to the huge double doors. There are valets every other step on either side of the carpet doing nothing but standing there with white gloved hands clasped in front of them but considering their intimidating statures I have a feeling they are acting as security as well. From my vantage point I can see the flashes what feels like hundreds of cameras going off, lighting the bottom of the stairs. It must be nice to own 30% of the newspapers and television companies because it means he has guaranteed coverage of the ‘event of the year’. Hell, I'm pretty sure at least half of the photographers are under his own employment and he'll make sure this gala will be talked about for months.

What really turns my stomach are all the ridiculously flashy guests exiting their limos. They all seek to be seen the moment they step out, plastering on insipid smiles on their faces like this event is the best thing to happen in their lives. These puffed up birds look around immediately for someone to interview them, hoping the journalist cares more about them than the person next to them. Although this is officially a political function there seems to be an equal amount of A-lister celebrities mingling among the political stars and affluent as well. Fame be damned, I will be happy to get through the gauntlet without anybody caring who I am.

When our limo finally reaches the front and a valet opens the door for us I take a quick moment to swallow any nervousness. Cinna smoothly steps out of the limo and turns around to help me out and takes my hand giving it a reassuring squeeze while I carefully step out. The bombardment of flashing cameras stuns me for a moment and have to resist the urge to step back into the limo. It must be my imagination that there is an extra explosion of camera flashes then what I was seeing before.

"Don't forget to smile Katniss,'' Cinna whispers in my ear as he wraps his arm around my waist. His hand his warm and reassuring, like a strong anchor in a storm as we walk forward.

Some reporters recognize Cinna and start yelling out his name to get his attention. He is definitely a natural at this, waving and smiling at everyone and the cameras don't seem to phase him at all. We stop every few feet to get our pictures taken and I try to follow his lead by plastering a smile so fake I know the Kitty girls would laugh their asses off if they saw me.

"Cinna! Cinna! Who is your beautiful guest? Is that one of your original designs she is wearing?" A reporter yells at him. Although I hate this attention, a part of me is thrilled that his work is so sought after now, his name is now known by the reporters.

"Yes, this is one of my originals, but I am the guest. I am escorting Katniss Everdeen the granddaughter of..."

It just takes one flicker of movement from the corner of my eye and I immediately know he's there, just ten feet separating us. I look over Cinna’s shoulder and my heart stops a moment as I see Peeta Mellark in all his magnificence. He is impeccably dressed in a tuxedo that fits to the T, his unruly curls are slicked back and his eyes practically sparkle from all the camera flashes. He has his camera ready smile on, but it is so beautiful it is almost blinding. I’ve only seen him look like this on television, but in person, he far outshines any other man there.

Peeta turns my way and our eyes connect for a moment, and I can see the astonishment flicker in his eyes for a moment at my presence. I have an unsent message sitting on my cell phone telling him I would be there, but I never had the courage to send it and he never called me back after the other night. 

The world seems to fade away and time stops as we take each other in. So many words seem to pass between us in that one fleeting look, "you're beautiful", "I miss you", "I want you", "you are mine." A shiver runs down my arm as I glimpse a flash of the possessive Mr. Mellark is shining in his eyes, laying in wait for when he can properly claim me. I realize that Cinna's arm is still securely around my waist and I am gripping his arm tightly for moral support. Peeta is jealous and there is no possible way right now to explain my circumstances to him. Just as suddenly, time starts again and he turns back to a reporter to answer questions.

Peeta doesn't give me a second glance, how much I wish he did, but we both know in this public venue it would be too dangerous to do so. I hold a heavy amount of fear since I got the invitation that creeps in the back of my mind that someone will connect the dots between Katniss Everdeen to Diana Flynn and eventually to Peeta Mellark. I am relying on the fact that there are too many famous people and I am unimportant enough to be just another guest at the party.

Cinna pulls me to walk up the staircase and I look over to Peeta one last time and I finally take notice of his entourage and boy I wish I hadn't. There is so much physical beauty in that group I feel like I must have stepped into a bizarro land of the pretty people. Of course Finnick is with Peeta, his golden boy cinema looks are at their best and the cameras are eating him up as he gives an interview. He has a sexy bombshell on his arm who I believe was in a movie with him a few months ago and I can’t help but feel a twinge of pain for Annie. I also recognize Thom from his visits to the Ranch and he has an equally sexy brunette with him who seems to be eye fucking every camera. These girls look like shiny new sports car making me feel like a Toyota camry with a new paint job. 

Nothing compares to Peeta's companion though. She is the redhead I’ve seen on his arm once before on television for another event he attended. She is a tall statuesque beauty with creamy skin, wide green eyes, delicate features, and a sweet smile that is currently pointed towards Peeta. Her gold halter dress puts mine to shame in the sexy department with it's plunging neckline and a back that dips dangerously low. She reaches for Peeta so they can take some couple shots for the cameras and when he wraps his arm around her and digs his fingers in the flesh of her waist they look like two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together. I only take a moment to look at them as I walked past and up the stairs but it is a good reminder that I will never be in that position of being able to be in the public eye with Peeta and I need to tone down my fantasies. My heart throbs painfully knowing that I will always be his dirty little secret.

As I pass, I catch Finnck's attention and his eyes widen in surprise, but he smoothly transitions his expression to a smirk and he quickly sends me a charming wink. It's probably my imagination, or wishful thinking but I feel Peeta's eyes on me Cinna as I reach the final steps and hand the invitation to security.

Relief floods my body when we finally escape the flash of cameras as we pass through the main lobby and I welcome being just be another guest among the crowd. Thankfully there are waiters with trays of champagne right as we enter the door and I promptly snatch a flute up and gulp it down in one go without a moment of hesitation then grab another one before we move on. Cinna quirks his eyebrow and I just shrug at him. I won't drink enough to get drunk, but if I am going to make it through this night I will need some liquid courage right off the bat.

"All the men are envious that you are on my arm right now," Cinna says with an amused look on his face. I am ready to give a sarcastic retort when I look around and realize quite a few men are in fact looking my way. Actually a few of the women with them send scathing looks my way before pulling their dates away. The rich finery that adorns them so far out classes me that I'm not sure what they see in me and why they should ever be threatened by me. 

"Maybe it's you who they are looking at," I say to Cinna anyway, not letting him get away with that comment and he just laughs. 

We walk down the larger center hallway, weaving through the throngs of guests as Cinna points to me who's who. Frankly, I'm not all that interested in why these people are important and quickly lose interest. Instead I find myself craning my neck to get a better look at the double vaulted ceilings with elaborate chandeliers hanging down. I recall Plutarch saying he had them hand made and imported from Italy for him. This whole house was designed especially for Plutarch and he would talk endlessly about what he was having done to it while fucking me at the same time. I think talking about his mansion was actually turning him on. To the right there are multiple double doors all open in invitation and we pass through one to find ourselves in a ballroom. Ballroom? Really? Who actually thinks to have one built anymore? There is also a full big band orchestra playing on a stage. This man has a full stage with light and sound. Some people have too much money.

"Well Cinna what should we do first? Dance, drink and be merry? Or stand in a corner and make fun of people?" I findjoking is a great coping mechanism to keep the nerves down.

"Both lovely options Katniss, but I think there are some people who you might want to say hello to first." Cinna says pointing over to the right hand corner. And there I see them, my supposed family. I would laugh at the ridiculousness of their varied reactions to my presence if I actually didn't have to deal with them. Prim's face has a mixture of shock, fear and happiness on it. My mother looks vague as always but surprisingly happy. Seneca has lost his usual calm facade, his face is so red with anger it looks like he's about to have an an aneurysm. 

And then there are my supposed grandparents. I only recognize them from the picture Prim sent me a couple weeks back from Thanksgiving. They are both fair in complexion like my mother and Prim. My grandfather looks to have been handsome once. He is tall and thin with perfectly coiffed silver hair, an aquilline nose and his light hazelle eyes hold no warmth. I can tell by the expression on his face that I am not important enough for him to hold his notice. I can't see my grandmother holding any beauty like my mother, but that might be because her thin lips are pressed so tightly together they practically look like a straight line. Her grey hair falls in unbroken sheets to her shoulders, not a hair out of place and her cold pale grey eyes look as sharp as diamonds as she looks at me. I shudder knowing at this moment that she would will me out of existence if she could. There is absolutely no love there for me.

"Are you ready to walk into the lion's den?" Cinna whispers.

"Well as ready as I'll ever be. I hope you brought the mace and an exit plan just in case." I answer back.

We walk over so I can officially meet my grandparents for the first time ever, Alma and Joseph Coin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the chapters are taking longer. The next chapter is already written so I hope it won't will be up within a week. And as always let me know what you think!


	20. Into the Lion's Den I: The Mace

Locked away safe inside me, where no one can reach her is Katniss Everdeen. I like to imagine this safe place looks something like Peeta's loft, somewhere warm, safe and where I feel loved. Right now I am Diana Flynn, a woman who oozes sex, is ready to please others, hides her own desires, and whose heart is completely closed to being hurt by others. I have never failed a job I was given, and I will not tonight. 

Cutting off my emotions is part of my job and I have never been more grateful for having that gift as I am right now with my so-called family staring me down. The closer we get to them, the more I can feel my complacent smile settling over me like a well-worn mask. The only apparent crack in my facade are my shaking hands. This second champagne glass was definitely a bad idea. It's not that I can't hold my alcohol, and actually I haven't even started this glass yet; it's that my hands are shaking hard enough that I'm about to splash the liquid all over myself or Cinna at any moment. I give the glass to a waiting server and wrap both my hands around Cinna's upper arm and try not to give it a death grip. I am so grateful to have him with me to give me strength when he sends me a sweet smile and pats my hand reassuringly. 

"Hi everyone," I say. I don't know what to say beyond those few words because I haven't even met my grandparents yet so it's up to one of them to introduce themselves. I don't think just saying "Hi gramps" would go over too well. 

Prim's face breaks out into a sweet smile and she looks like she is about to bounce forward when Coin's long pale fingers grip her shoulder and she says sternly, "What did I teach you about always having decorum Primrose." 

"Yes ma'am" Prim says coloring slightly. "Hi Katniss, I am pleased to see you here," she says to me very formally not even attempting to step forward. 

My left hand clenches slightly at seeing my sweet little duck being manipulated like a puppet but I don't say or do anything. I just smile and say that I am pleased to be there as well. This action by my grandmother has made this already awkward meeting more moment uncomfortable, bordering on painful when, to my surprise, my mother steps forward with a wide if somewhat vacant smile on her face.

"Katniss, sweetheart, I'm so glad you made it! Can you believe this party. I haven't been to something like this since I was Prim's age." When she reaches me, her hands softly squeeze my shoulders as she flutters a kiss on my cheek. "And who is this handsome man with you?" 

My oblivious mother has no idea how awkward this situation is for everyone, but her greeting somehow gets everyone to finally act at least slightly civil. Seneca's face is still flushed red, but his car salesman smile is back on his face again and he gives me an artificial hug and introduces himself to Cinna. 

"Mother, father, this is my eldest daughter Katniss," my mother says turning to the Coins and I can almost see a glimmer of pride in her voice. Alma's face looks like it is ready to crack as she gives me a stiff smile. I take it she doesn't often move her lips upward.

"Nice to finally meet you Katniss," she says with all the warmth of Siberia in the winter time. She gives me air kisses on each cheek, a very stiff hug and I feel kind of repulsed about having to put my hands on her thin rigid back.

"Nice to meet you too grandmother," I say and the words feel like sandpaper on my tongue. It's hard to even imagine calling this woman and man my grandparents. 

When I face my grandfather he gives me an appraising look and takes my hand loosely with his cold clammy one, giving me a tight smile. "This is our other granddaughter?" he asks looking at wife. "Pity she has that man's looks."

"Now Joseph, not everyone can look like our dear Primrose, can they?" she answers back, but her voice implies that she agrees with him. 

“You are correct dear. Well I see some colleagues I need to talk to. Alma, you can take care of this situation,” he replies with total disinterest in his voice. He nods to me, pats Prim on the shoulder and then walks away without a second glance.

Underneath a calm exterior my mind is a violent turmoil of emotions at the callus exchange between my grandparents and just when I think that my facade is about to crack I feel Cinna's warm hand on my lower back reassuring me he is there. I turn to see everyone else's reaction and Seneca has an evil look of glee on his face, Prim face is pinched and red, while my mother expression is bewildered and troubled. That look smooths over into a blank one and I know she is now lost to us. The mention of my father is too much for her to handle and she is closing herself off again. I remember when I was little my mother would kiss my nose, my eyes and hair while saying lovingly how much she loved each part of me for coming from my father. When he died, she stopped looking directly at me and I knew that my features that are so like dad's were too hard for her to bare. 

"Katniss, you look so amazing, I wish I looked like you," Prim interjects, her chin jutting out stubbornly looking only at me, not sparing a glance at the others. 

I take Prim's hand and squeeze it gently. "Thank you Prim. You look beautiful too." I say quietly and we share a look only sisters who care for each other can give and I know I haven't lost her yet.

"I couldn't imagine anyone else wearing my creation as well as she does," Cinna interjects, his voice not as warm and friendly as I'm used to. 

"I’ve heard about you Cinna, one of those new experimental designers?" Coin asks turning to him, and completely ignoring what they had just said.

"Yes, I am one of those designers and I'm lucky to have Katniss as muse to inspire my creations," he answers back politely. 

"So is that how Katniss was able to get into the party, by taking advantage of you?" she asks. She slices into me so matter of factly that I am so stunned by her rudeness and I almost can't breath. What right has she to talk like this? One part of me wants to walk away and out the door but a larger part of me just wants to slap her hard across the face soap opera style.

"Actually Cinna is my guest. I was the one invited to this event by Mr. Heavensbee," I somehow answer back cooly. There is a scoff by Crane, and Coin presses her lips together in disbelief and displeasure. 

"Why do I find that hard to believe," she answers back. Her eyes hold so much judgement towards me that I don't deserve. But I am a stubborn woman, and I feel my back becoming straighter and my eyes matching the sharpness of Alma Coin's as we wage a silent battle of wills. Maybe we're related to each other after all.

"Believe what you want grandmother, it's the truth," I answer back icely. 

“I’m used to young people having respect for their elders and not answering back. You can learn a thing or two about etiquette,” she replies.

“I’m sorry I didn’t have time for lessons grandmother, I was too busy making sure my family survived since there was no one to help us,” I answer in a flat voice. From the corner of my eye I can see Prim’s eyes bouncing back and forth between our verbal tennis match, her mouth slightly open.

The tension is at such a high peak, everything else disappears, there might as well not be a gala or throngs of famous people walking around us. I am not going to be the first one to back down and I am ready for another retort spewed from Coin when providence in the hefty shape of Plutarch Heavensbee steps in.

"Katniss!" He bellows out from across the room so loud that people split like the Red Sea so he can walk across the ballroom to our small party. "I'm so glad you made it," he continues as he takes my hand and presses a kiss on my cheek. 

"It's good to see you too," I answer back giving him a smile and rubbing his shoulder. His pleasing cheerful demeanor tells me he is in full game mode right now and he is not about to "out" me at a public ball. We are both playing parts, I just don't know what the endgame is, but as I catch the twinkle in Plutarch's eyes, he sure does. "Thank you for inviting me, I've never been to a function like this. Your house is amazing." 

"Yes, I'm glad I finally have a chance to show it off to you after how often I’ve talked your ear off about it. Now please introduce me to your little friends here. My secretary invited so many people I don’t know who’s who," he says. I try but fail to suppress the smile that quirks at the corner of my mouth at as his obvious slight to people who are clearly much more important than me. 

I turn to everyone and introduce them in turn. Coin's suddenly has a pleasing look on her face that doesn’t look at all comfortable for her hard features to express. Seneca's eye is twitching slightly from what I'm pretty sure is his unhappiness about being almost completely disregarded and he practically falls over his feet to shake the hand of this obviously very rich and influential man. Prim gives a shy smile and my mother barely focuses enough to say hello. 

When I introduce Cinna, a genuine proud smile spreads on my face at Plutarch’s effusive praise over his work. 

"My wife Enobaria can't get enough of your designs. She was talking to me about holding a charity fashion show featuring your work. I will have to introduce you to her to discuss the details. But first, I will have to apologize for taking away the lovely company of Katniss, but I insist she accompanies me for this next dance,” he says offering me his hand.

“I would love to,” I say taking his large hand before he leads me to the dance floor. I look back and see that Cinna has offered his hand to Prim and she beams in happiness. Coin, my mother and Seneca are thankfully left behind and I would be thrilled to avoid them for the rest of the night.

Once we enter the middle of the dance floor, Plutarch sweeps me into his arms and effortlessly guides me along to the slow tempo song the band is playing. He is surprisingly light on his feet for a big, loud, blustery man. 

“Alright Plutarch what game are you playing? Why did you ask me here tonight?” I burst out. I’ve been holding it in for so long I can't help but spill it out the moment we were left alone to talk to each other. Plutarch just laughs and spins me around. 

“Oh Katniss, you were always one to cut the the chase, that’s what I love about you. We two always have a pretty straight-forward trade don’t we?” he says hand squeezing my lower back just enough so I get his meaning. “Not like these other simpering ass kissers, like Crane for instance, who is always seeking attention and looking to get something for nothing. Did you see his face when it looked like I didn’t recognize him? I love doing that. Everybody has their weakness. 

“I highly doubt you invited me to the ‘biggest event of the year’ just so you could get laid?” I shake my head at him with a small frown on my face, hiding the fact that I loved him torturing Crane that way. Plutarch has a tendency to wander off topic and I need to keep him on track. 

“You are a smart one Katniss. No I don’t need ‘to get laid’ as you so eloquently put it. But I find you in a unique position to service me in other ways.”

“So get to it Plutarch, why did you ask me here tonight?” 

“Life can be so boring don’t you think? Isn’t it better when we help the drama along a little bit. That’s what I like to do with all my media empire. Take the kindle that’s doused in lighter fluid and light the match," he replies avoiding \answering my question to my great frustration.

Oh lord, Plutarch is in one of his obtuse phases. Once while I was ‘servicing’ him he kept showing me a watch and expected me to guess his new survival show's hidden theme was a clock. By the end of the hour I was ready to shove the watch up his ass.

“And who would you like to light on fire Plutarch?” I ask trying to keep the growing frustration hidden from my voice. He is having too much fun with this. 

"Your stepfather, you don't like him do you?" he asks still evading the point.

"Crane is not my stepfather," I say in an angry whisper.

"That is true... for now. If Coin has anything to do with it, you’ll be calling him Daddy by sundown. But you would like to get him far away from your family wouldn't you? I can help that happen for you." This whole time he still hasn't missed a beat in the dance, and I am the one trying not only to keep up with his steps but his logic as well. 

"Yes. What's it to you?" I retort.

"You know you can catch a fly better with honey than with vinegar. And by the looks of it you are using the later and I know you have a whole lot of honey to give."

"God, not that old metaphor. Again I have to ask, what interest is this to you? Is he the man you want burn bright to light your mighty empire?"

"How nicely put Katniss. I'll have to use that. And to answer you, no he is not. That fool doesn’t have enough wattage in his brain cells to light a lightbulb. But he is the key to someone bigger, and my dear you are the one holding the key. Or at least you would if you handled it better."

"So does this mean you want me to get into Crane's good graces? Why should I stick out my neck for you Plutarch. Why should I endanger my livelihood and my family?" By this point I’m sick and tired of his little word game and I'm ready for this dance to end. My life is complicated enough without Plutarch adding to it. I can handle Crane on my own.

"Oh don't worry, it's worth your time Katniss. And probably your safety I might add." He lifts his hand and delicately touches where my fading neck bruises are hidden. "But now is not the time for details, so a little bit more patience my dear and you will not regret it. I will make an appointment to visit you at the Ranch and everything will clear up there. Just get Seneca happy with you again, that’s all I ask.” He gives me another spin and I’m grateful that Effie gave us those damn dancing lessons or I’d probably end up on the floor. We all questioned why prostitutes would need them, but Effie knows best and is nothing if not prepared. 

“Oh I see your lover's friend wants a dance with you," he says turning me to the right so I can see Finnick walking our way and my heart does a tumble as I wonder how much Plutarch knows about Peeta and I. 

"Hello, Plutarch it's good to see you, thanks for inviting me to your shindig." Finnick says patting Plutarch on the back. "I hope you don't mind but I would love to cut in with your lovely dance partner here."

"Why certainly Finnick. By all means. It was lovely dancing with you Katniss," Plutarch says releasing me but holding my hand. "Enjoy the party and I will see you soon." He gives me one last kiss on the hand before he takes off and hales Cinna across the room to talk with him. 

Finnick takes my right hand and wraps his other large hand around my waist and gives me a warm smile as we start to move around the dance floor. Although I didn't get any straight answers from Plutarch it's a relief to be away from his overbearing personality. Being around him is so exhausting. And I know I really shouldn’t be dancing with Finnick, that it’s too much of a cross between my two lives, but it feels nice being with him. Sure, he’s not Peeta, but he makes me feel at ease and I feel like I have an ally. Surprisingly he’s not as good of a dancer as Plutarch, not terrible, but still his steps are not as fluid rather are more carefully planned. 

"So why has the infamous Finnick O'dair decided to grace me with his presence at this moment? Aren't you afraid to be caught dancing with a wanton woman?" I try to play it off as playful, but it is a valid question I have.

"Oh but we are not in Nevada Kitty Kat," he replies. God I hate that nickname. "Here, at the gala, you are the prodigal granddaughter of the very rich and powerful Coins. And it would definitely be out of my lothario character if I didn't dance with the most drop-dead gorgeous woman in the room."

I can't help but roll my eyes at that one. "Hardly. Cinna just did a really good job making me look presentable. I think that distinction goes to the ladies in your entourage." 

Finnick's eyes narrow down on me like he trying to detect if I’m being overly modest or downright dishonest. I’m not sure what he finds, but he says, "Wow. Peeta was right. You don't even realize it do you?"

"Realize what?" I ask, stopping our dancing while the guests continue to move around us.

"Well, how amazingly stunning you are Katniss," he answers starting us up again. I try to detect if he is just being overly complimentary like usual but he looks completely honest. Not even that usual glimmer of amusement is on his face and I feel my face start to blush.

"Please Finnick. Save the empty compliments for your dates." I say trying to brush it off.

"God Katniss, can't you take a compliment for once? Those girls are Monet's. Beautiful from a distance but a total mess up close. Take my date," he says pointing over to her. "Her skin is mostly yellow from smoking, her bones practically rattle when she walks because she doesn't eat, and her round globes she calls boobs are perpetually cold to the touch because of the silicon. And she farts."

"What?! A girl farting? No!" I say giving a fake look of shock which hides the smile threatening to take over my face. 

"Oh no Katniss, you don't understand. I mean she really does it all the time. The poor sound guys have to work hard around it during filming. I'm sure it's that gluten free vegan diet she's on. She sounded like a damn whoopie cushion when I slept with her."

Now I really can't hold it back anymore and I start to laugh, my shoulders shaking as I try to control it. "Swear to God!," he adds giving the boy scout salute. This really sets me off and I have to stop dancing because I'm laughing so hard, and people are starting to look at me strangely. I put my head on his shoulder to help steady myself while I strain to get back control of myself.

"Hey look who's jealous that I'm making you laugh," he whispers in my ear before nodding his head to the left. I turn to see Peeta staring intently at me, not a hint of a smile on his face. We lock eyes for a moment, and I want to touch him so bad, then he breaks the connection and turns to the group of people he is chatting with, including his date who he has his arm still wrapped around.

"Well he can stew in it for all I care." I answer sharply back. I tried to brush off my own jealously when I first saw him but now I can’t help the poisonous feeling that floods my body. 

"Well you do know he only wants you, right? He really does, but he also knows you would never allow him to risk his reputation by talking to you in public Katniss." Finnick bends down so his face is in my line of vision to look me directly in the eye and I know I can't hide the fact that he's correct. 

I would be so mad at Peeta for even approaching me because it just wouldn't be worth the risk. Especially since I don't think either of us would be able to hide what we feel about each other if we even got within 10 feet of each other, let alone dance with each other. And I definitely don't need my so called family noticing our connection, who knows what they'll do with that information.

"You're right Finnick. It's just hard you know? I..." I can't even finish my sentence because I have no idea what to say. 

"I know Katniss. Believe me that he doesn't want to be where he is anymore than you do. I get it. What I would like to do more than anything in the world right now is wrap my arms around Annie and hide away with her for awhile where no one can find us." An unhappy frown flashes on his face before he hides it behind his charming smile again. 

"Finnick, why can't you go for her? You are a movie star, not a politician's son with a crazy mother. You can do almost anything and the public will still love you."

"I keep being told that it wouldn't be good for my career to be attached. And if I was, it should be someone as famous as me for publicity. I've been told this for so long I couldn't help but believe it, but I'm over it Katniss. I'm tired of playing by everyone else's rules and never my own."

"Well don't then," I say squeezing his arm. "Go with what you want. Annie loves you so much; she is a wonderful girl and you would never regret being with her."

I can see genuine happiness take over his face as a far off dreamy look takes over. "Thanks Katniss, I think I just needed someone to tell me that. You're not so bad for a prostitute you know that?"

"Well I guess you may have some redeeming qualities too Finnick." I say just as the music stops and the band announces they are taking a quick break. 

"Damn, the time went fast. Look I have to go back to my party but Peeta wants you to meet him in an hour in the back garden near the cliffs, to the left is a statue of Artemis. Behind it are huge magnolia bushes and there will be a dark stairwell leading down to the beach. He'll be there okay?" Finnick says this in a rush since some of the ladies in his entourage are starting to look over suspiciously, if he lingers any longer there will definitely be gossip. 

"Ok, tell him I will be there." I say feeling lighter knowing that I will be able to be with Peeta again soon. 

"It's been a pleasure to meet you Miss Everdeen," he says loudly, squeezing my hand and then walking away swiftly after I return the sentiment. 

The moment I am off of the dance floor Prim is right by my side, bouncing on her toes from excitement and her eyes wide as saucers. “Oh my God who are you and what have you done with my sister?” 

I laugh and put an arm around her, leading her out of the main ballroom so I can get away from the crowds and get some fresh air. "What are you talking about li... Prim?"

"Where do I even start... maybe the fact that you were just dancing with the extremely delicious movie star Finnick Odair and laughing with him like you were old friends instead of wearing your usual scowl. Or that that the owner of this ginormous mansion came to talk to you specifically. Or how confident you look in that slinky dress. Don't get me wrong, I think you would look fabulous in anything, but you are jeans and t-shirt girl. You staged a protest the last time I tried to get you to wear a sundress in 90 degree weather. Oh wait, and let's not forget those stunning 6" heels you rock like you were born wearing them. I mean the Hawthornes and I had a standing bet how long you could walk in heels before you gave up and let's just say nobody bet over an hour and now we've all lost... Or.."

"Okay okay I get it!" I turn and shake Prim's shoulders in a playful manner to stop her talking. I think she would turn blue in the face before she stopped listing all the differences. I knew I would shock Prim by being here, but I guess I didn't realize how much I've seperated how I act in Nevada from L.A. 

"So where's the fairy godmother that suddenly gifted you with all these graces."

"The only fairy godmother is Cinna, or I guess that would be godfather. Is this really that much of a shock to you?” A waiter passes by us and I grab another glass of champagne. Prim grabs one too, and when I lift my eyebrow at this, she sets her jaw in determination, almost looking like me.

“Well yeah Katniss. You are a complete social introvert. And Cinna can only make you look good, he can't make it so you’re friends with Mr. Heavensbee or twirling around the dance floor an A-list movie star.” She says this with such a flourish of her hands she almost spills all her champagne so she takes a sip and has a slight blush of embarrassment coloring her cheeks. 

“Look, I met Plutarch at the diner, and he is just one of those eccentric rich people who invites poor people on a lark to his parties just because they amuse him. And Finnick is a womanizer who wanted to cop a feel on the dance floor.” I answer trying not to down my champagne in front of Prim.

But she is as stubborn as a pitbull locked on a squeezie toy, she is not giving up. “That still doesn’t explain your personality Katniss. How are you able to be such at ease here when you normally don't like talking to anybody but tonight command the room. You could snap your fingers and any man would come running to you right now. I’ve never seen you look so SEXY and own it. And how you challenged our grandparents...”

“There is no secret Prim!” I say losing my patience. And immediately I feel guilty about getting short, especially since what I said is an outright lie. “First of all, I work in sales so of course I can work with people. And really, I’m just trying not to embarrass myself in front your grandparents who I had to practically force to meet me.” My voice is a low harsh whisper as I say this, and somehow we’ve found ourselves in a quiet corner away from other people. 

The lightheartedness between us is gone as the tension that has been building this week is threatening to finally spill out right in front of hundreds of people. “They're your grandparents too you know Katniss.” Her voice matching mine in it’s ferocious low tone. 

“Yeah right,” I say crossing my arms. 

“Well they are Katniss. They are here for us,” she answers back.

“Were you not just there when I introduced myself to them? If they could have made me disappear they would have! And where have they been all these years!” 

“They don't want you to disappear Katniss. Maybe if you were nicer to them they would be warmer. You can just be a lot to take Katniss.” I step back and my back hits the wall behind me that I didn’t notice was there and it pushes my breath out. I feel like Prim just slapped me, I’ve never heard her say anything like this before.

“Is that how you see me? I’m a lot to take?” I wish I could say it lightly but I can’t hide the hurt in my voice from her words. 

Prim realizes how it sounds and she grabs my limp hand. “Oh no! I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that they don’t see you how I see you. You don’t show them how amazing you are. If you did show them, they would love you as much as I do.” Her voice is pleading with me to forgive her but I’m having a hard time doing so at this moment. 

I bite my tongue from telling her that they won’t ever want to see me in a positive light, not wanting to continue our circular argument. So I ask instead, “Do you actually like your... our grandparents?”

Prim bites her lip and then takes a gulp of her champagne, looking afraid to answer me. “Well it was hard at first. Grandmother can especially be very hard on me, but I think it's because she cares. She always tells me she wants the best for me, she wants the best for all of us. And they're family you know? It’s only been us for so long, shouldn't we give them a chance?”

“How about if they don’t want to give me a chance Prim? I don’t think there is anything I can do that will change their mind about me.” 

Prim sets her lips in a thin line that is so reminiscent of Coin it scares me. “Well maybe you should actually try Katniss.”

I am so fed up with her right now, I just let it all out without thinking. “I am not you Prim! Fuck! Did I spoil you? I will never be a perfect golden girl like you! I’m not brilliant without ever making a single mistake while having everyone fall over me with every word I say. The world doesn’t work like that, at least not for me. Some of us can’t just trip through life without a care in the world having so many opportunities open wherever we turn. Some of us actually have to work in the muck just to survive, killing parts of ourselves we'll never get back and hope we don’t lose ourselves in the process!” 

Prim just stares at me stunned and I put my hand over my mouth knowing I’ve just said too much in completely the wrong place to do it. “Prim... I... I need some air. Excuse me.” I say walking swiftly to the back of the mansion and directly to the double doors leading to the backyard, hoping she doesn’t follow me. And she doesn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this one! I can't wait until you all read the next chapter which is the conclusion of the party and lots of Peeta in it. It's rather long so it may take my Beta awhile to correct it. Thank you demona424 for always know how to always making it sound better! So I have about 8 chapters after this one, put some chapters end up getting way too long so I have to split them, so we'll see.
> 
> Also, I wanted to explain a little about Prim and the Coins. A problem with her is that she is a little too trusting and sheltered. The Coins are her grandparents so she desperately wants to like them and can sometimes be blinded by their actions because of it. This doesn't mean she doesn't love Katniss, but it means she can do some stupid things before she opens her eyes. 
> 
> As always I appreciate your kudos and feel free to let me know what you think.


	21. Into the Lion's Den: The Escape Plan

The crisp December air hits me as I rush through the doors, making my dress billow behind me and stealing my breath away. Guests are milling around talking and laughing on the large stone terrace but they pay no attention to me as I slide between them and rush down the curved stairs to the garden. I feel a false sense of freedom out here where there are only a few people scattered around. I walk swiftly around the olympic size pool and into Plutarch's stately garden trying to look like I’m not rushing. Although my blood is still pumping fast after my painful confrontation with Prim, my temper is finally starting to cool. I run my hand though another one of his elaborate fountains and I remember Plutarch telling me his garden was designed specifically to look like a cultivated garden of an English manor filled with hedges, statues and an abundance of flowers. 

With the distant noise of the party just a blend of murmurs, I feel like I can finally think again and my head keeps turning over what I just said to Prim, actually more like yelled. I didn't really mean what I said to her, at least I don't think I did. It was unfair to be upset with her for things she doesn't understand, especially since it was I who sheltered her in the first place. It was just so aggravating that she just seemed so much like a puppet at that moment, I felt I was defending myself to the Coins instead of her. It also opened my eyes to how much Prim is becoming attached to them. Last she told me, she was miserable having to go to their house all the time. I really shouldn't be surprised about this since she finds the good in everyone, but I can't help but feel frustrated and betrayed by her blindness at how awful they were acting. 

I am walking around only for a few minutes when I decide I need to go back and talk to her. I am an adult and I shouldn't have run away like that and just hide from my teenage sister. I need to make peace with the one person I love more than anything in this world. 

I am about to walk back up the stairs and just as I put my hand on the banister I see Crane on the top of the stairs directly in front of me, scanning the gardens. He spots me before I can slide away and his face is tight with displeasure. God, I really do not want to deal with him right now, or ever, but it's too late as he seems set on talking to me. Plutarch's words are ringing in my ears about stupid honey and vinegar so as he approaches I steel myself to try and act sweet as possible.

"Hi Seneca, are you enjoying the party?" I ask, plastering on a fake smile. This seems to throw him off momentarily since he was probably prepared for me to be confrontational as usual. Maybe this "honey" act will work afterall if only to throw him off balance.

He narrows his eyes at me, trying to decide what my game is before answering. "Yes I am. Our host is a very interesting man. I am curious as to how you know him?"

I take the couple of steps that are between us and lean on the banister before answering. "I think you know the answer to that Mr. Crane," I say in a slightly husky voice which makes him shift his legs and clear his throat. 

"You shouldn't have come here Katniss. You had no right to crash this event," he says in a low-tone so no one else can hear him as he's leaning towards me. I can tell he wants to be close to me, but he's afraid of it as well and I'm definitely enjoying how uncomfortable I'm making him. 

"Why Mr. Crane, I was specifically invited to this gala by Plutarch himself. It would be rude not to say yes to such an important man. He is a man who appreciates all I have to offer. Are you a little envious of him right now Mr. Crane because he's receiving favors you are not?" When I lean my hands back on the banister it pops my breasts out a bit, and I can tell Seneca is having a hard time concentrating. This conversation is definitely not going in the direction he wants it to go. 

"Look Katniss, I can have you whenever I want, Snow would never deny me." He steps closer, then pulls back as he looks around to see if anybody is watching. 

"Oh really?" I say and I try to hide my alarm at my bosses name. 

"Yes I could. Now stop playing with me Katniss. This is a dangerous stunt you are pulling coming here tonight. The Coins better not find out that I go to the Ranch. They already found out about your goddamn arrest for solicitation. You’re lucky I was able to bribe her private detective before he found anything else out. I cannot be connected to the Ranch!" The anger he had been suppressing comes out in full force like a tidal wave and I know that I won't be able to catch him off balance anymore. "And I know you sent that old bitch to dig shit up about me and I don't appreciate it. You won't like the consequences if you mess with me. I know that old lady has a record, and I could have her shut in jail so fast, she won't have time to even think before she's being strip searched."

"No.."

"You are not talking anymore, you will listen to me. If you bring me down I will bring you down." He has been holding this in all night and now he is letting it all out, spittle practically flying into my face as he talks in a low whisper. I can at least be grateful that he is doing this in public so he's keeping an arms distance away from me. Otherwise I know he'd grab me if he could. 

"Crane, I didn't come here to expose you. I was asked to be here by Plutarch, this is an official Ranch request and I am doing my job. You can even confirm with Haymitch. You don't have to do anything to Sae, she has nothing to do with this" I say trying to keep myself together and calm him down. 

"I think we have an easy solution Katniss." He pats his hair and fixes his bow tie in an attempt to look pulled together. And just like that his swarmy smile is back on his face and the anger is in check.

"And what would this solution be Seneca?" I ask very well knowing what type of solution he would want. 

"Never come back to Los Angeles. You already have a lovely other name don’t you Diana Flynn? I will pay you handsomely to do so, I could even visit you now and again, to let you know how your lovely family is doing. Your sister will get more than you can ever give her. Sae would never have to worry again about losing the diner or being arrested. Just don’t come back here, let Katniss Everdeen disappear."

"Seneca you know I won't do that." I can barely hold my anger at his suggestion and I grip the banister to keep myself from scratching his eyes out. 

"You do need some of that high and mighty trained out of you. Just think about what I said. It would make all of our lives easier." With that he turns around and walks back into the mansion, and I am left reeling. 

I feel like I just ran a marathon I'm breathing so hard. It is not good that the Coins know of my arrest. I only got caught once when I was prostituting behind the diner and that was how Sae found out what I was doing. I didn't even get charged but was left off with a warning because my record was clean. That doesn't matter though because there isn't a chance in hell the Coins will ever accept me now. Then there is Crane's threat on Sae. I already knew he threatened her but it is far scarier hearing him say it in person. I have to do whatever I can to make sure he does not ever harm my family. 

I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment and imagine myself in Peeta's apartment, in bed with him and I start to feel a little better. Peeta. Shit what time is it? I open my little purse hanging at my wrist and pull out my cellphone to see that I have only have ten minutes before I have to meet him so I really don't have enough time to talk to Prim. Smoothing over yet another fight with her will have to wait.

I make my way to the back of the garden and see the Artemis statue Finnick was referring to and sure enough behind some big magnolias, almost hidden by the overgrowth, are narrow wooden stairs that lead down to the ocean. I pull off my heels before I head down because I would be an idiot to try an attempt to walk down the rickety steps in the dark while strapped in them. I wiggle my toes when I take them off, feeling much shorter but it feels good to be free of them and I can't help the sigh that escapes. I am half way down the very long stairs when a landing carved of stone opens up onto the cliffside with a curved stone bench etched into the rock. This is as good as any place to wait for Peeta so I just sit on the bench and curl into myself, putting my head on my knees and wrap my arms around my legs for warmth. I take in a deep cleansing breath, and the air smells strongly of the salty sea air and waves thunder below. The noises of the parties are barely soft murmurs down here and alone with my thoughts Seneca's words keep repeating in my head over and over again, specifically him calling me "high and mighty". There is something about that phrase that bothers me in a way that I can't quite grab at. I let the words swirl in my head hoping that I will eventually understand why they are so significant.

I hear heavy footfalls coming towards me and I stand up so Peeta doesn't see me looking so vulnerable. I straighten my dress and once I see his familiar form come around the corner and onto the landing I can't help but launch myself into his arms so that I can feel the warmth and security of his arms around me. But instantly I can tell something is off. Peeta's arms are stiff and his hands are gripping my hips instead of surrounding my waist like I'm used to. I pull back and see his jaw is clenched and his blue eyes are unforgiving. Damn it Mr. Mellark was back and he was pissed. After the 'stellar' evening I already had so far, the fear that I will get in to it with Peeta as well makes my blood run cold. Is dancing with Finnick really going to be the highlight of my evening? I pull out of his arms and walk to the edge of the landing, leaning against the railing, and look at the ocean below. The light from the moon is glinting off the foamy peeks of the waves and I have the sudden urge to climb down to be closer to them.

"So I take it you aren't happy with me right now, are you Mr. Mellark? Well get in in fucking line." I say, not turning around to look at him. I hear him walking behind me and his tuxedo jacket lands on my shoulders. His hands smooth it over me before his fingers grips the tops of my arms and he pulls me back to his chest. I can feel my heartbeat get faster and the heat pool in my groin. I take a deep breath trying to control my body's reaction to him being so close but that backfires since I only succeed in taking in his delicious scent and I can’t find the energy to break away. 

"Katniss, you should have told me you were coming tonight." I can feel his hot breath on my neck and his lips practically touch my ear as he speaks making me involuntarily stretch out my neck to get closer to his mouth. "Do you know how hard it was to see you come with another person? His hands on you instead of mine? You look so beautiful tonight I can't stand it. It's pisses me off seeing you with him and Plutarch, fuck, even Finnick when it should be me, only me. It’s too much for me Katniss."

My anger flares up bright at his words, breaking me out of my trance and I turn around quickly, startling him and he takes an automatic step back. "How the fuck do you think I feel Peeta," I say jabbing a finger in his chest. "Do you think it's any easier for me seeing that foxface redhead cling to you? Knowing you'll probably fuck her tonight. I have just as much right to be pissed off as you are." I'm so angry right now that I had to primp myself up in a fancy dress and go to a place where I don’t belong just to deal with Plutarch, and Crane and my family. I didn’t want to add Peeta to the list. I thought we were passed all that shit. 

Peeta doesn't answer me, he just steps forward and puts his hand around my neck and pulls me forward so he can give me a searing kiss, his tongue prodding my mouth insistently. My hands automatically grab his hips so that I can pull his pelvis close to mine and I rub myself against his hardness. Our kisses are angry and possessive, tongues fighting for dominance as both of us try to claim the other as our own. One of his hands slides down my ass and pulls up my dress so he can slide his fingers underneath my thong. He squeezes my ass so hard I can feel his fingers pressing into my juncture to the point where it's almost painful. We finally break away from our kiss and he leans his forehead against mine as we both pant heavily.

"Your mine Katniss. Say it," he says, his voice so commanding it leaves no room for argument. He squeezes me a little harder and I let out a gasp. 

"I'm yours Peeta." I answer back. He pulls me so close all parts of our body are touching and his jacket slips off my shoulders.

"You want only me. I need to hear it Katniss." I look up into his eyes and then I see it. I see beautiful caring Peeta interlaced within Mr. Mellark, he is still there. He is wearing the persona of Mr. Mellark as an armor to protect himself from me and I feel my heart opening up in a way it has never done before. I lift my hand and stroke his strong jaw, catching him by surprise. I know this is the time to make that big leap, to let him know how I feel before he turns back to what I have fought so hard to pull him from.

"I want you Peeta. I want only you. I love you." Those three little words barely come out in a whisper, I'm so afraid of saying them out loud. 

Peeta’s breath catches in his throat and I see his face soften. Silence stretches between us as he just stares at me stunned. It felt so freeing to tell him that I love him but my heart starts to squeeze painfully as I realize it doesn't look like he'll say it back. The longer the silence stretches and no words are spoken by him the more I start to worry that he probably is trying to find a way to let me down easily. I break eye contact with him rather than continuing to look at that unreadable face, afraid that I will see it express disgust, or worse pity. 

I try to pull away from him, but his hands lock tighter on my body so I can’t move. Peeta starts kissing me on the neck, leaving soft pecks from underneath my ear down to my shoulder and I feel a hand move the strap of my dress causing it to slip down exposing one of my breasts. All my anger has slipped away with my confession and I am completely his to do what he will. I have no fight left in me and I know he could truly break me in this moment. 

“Your skin is so soft Katniss,” he says sliding the back of his hand up and down my arm. "I don't think I've ever touched anything that felt so much like heaven before."

Peeta’s other hand which was still squeezing my ass releases its hold and slips my thong down until it falls to the ground. He then cups me in the front, inserting his fingers between my folds and he starts rubbing my clit in tight circles. I squeeze my eyes shut just giving into the pleasure as my heart still pounds in pain from not hearing the words I’m so desperate to hear. How eloquent Peeta may be with words it has always been hard to express himself verbally when it comes to his emotions, not that I am any better, so this is probably as best he can do for me. 

His hand has been unrelenting on me and a soft moan escapes me just as I am just about to reach my peak, when he releases me and turns me around so suddenly I have to grip the railing. “You are so beautiful Katniss.” 

“Please tell me it’s okay to take you right here," he says as he slides both straps further down, trapping my arms between them. His hands move slowly down, the fingertips sliding underneath my breasts, down the soft fabric of my dress before stopping at my hips. He pushes my pelvis back into him so I can feel his hardness as he pushes into me insistently. 

I swallow hard and nod my head. “Yes Peeta,” is all I manage to say and then I feel him slide the dress down so I’m completely bare to him. I turn my head and I see him bend down to pick up the dress as I step out of it. “We don’t want you to mess this up do we?” he says, carefully hanging it on the banister next to me. The irony doesn’t escape me that our emotions are like our state of dress right now. I am completely bare and vulnerable while he is still completely dressed. 

Peeta comes back behind me and he pulls me back against him while his hand pulls my chin so I turn my head and look into his piercing blue eyes. There is an emotion in their depths that tells me that he does care for me, but I’m too afraid to ask him if it's real. "Thank you Katniss for doing this for me,” he says before his mouth descends upon mine again. My hands reach back so I can run my fingers through his hair and I keep him locked with me. He releases my mouth and I hear him unbutton his pants and pulls the zipper down before he bends me over and plunges into me, knowing he has permission to do it. We had the conversation about protection at his house a few days back. We’ve both been tested recently and he knows he’s the only one I’ll allow to come inside me without a condom.

I hold onto the railing tightly, bending forward while Peeta sets an unrelenting pace. I can feel his breath and kisses on my back as his fingertips grip my hips, pushing me back to him as much as I'm push back onto him. The mockingjay pin swings fiercely in front of me on it's chain and I flip it onto my back where I feel Peeta’s hand touch it briefly. We never did have sex in his apartment and the fullness of him stretching me out again is a feeling I don't want to ever end. All you can hear are the crashing of the waves and the hard slaps of his hips hitting my ass as we both try to keep our moans to a minimum. 

“You are mine Katniss, don't ever forget that. Now I need you touch yourself,” he says in a tight voice and I know he is close but so am I. I reach down and I stimulate my sensitive clit and I can't stop myself from keening. 

“I’m yours Katniss. Don’t. Ever. Forget. That.” He punctuates every word with another hard thrust. His movements become more erratic and he grabs my hair so he could yank my head to the side. He sucks on the side of my neck and he lets out a loud moan as he comes, his whole body shaking. The sound of his moan on my shoulder reverberates down my body and I soon find myself lifted up by my own orgasm. It rushes through with such a quick intensity my knees give out, and if it wasn’t for Peeta gripping me hard I would have fallen to the ground. 

We pant in unison as I cross my arms on the banister and lean my head on them so I can catch my breath and recover my bearings. Peeta pulls out of me and I feel cold and empty without him there. I feel a soft cloth caressing me and I turn my head to see that Peeta has taken his handkerchief to my lower region and thighs to clean me up. I finally stand straight on shaky legs and turn around to face him. We just stare at each other for a moment, not touching. His curls escape his well placed hair from where my fingers ran through them and when I move to put them back in place he wraps his hands around my wrists, stopping me. 

“Did you mean it?” he asks, his eyes searching mine for answers. “Do you really love me?” His voice is no longer commanding but one filled with longing and hope as it slightly cracks. 

“Yes, I mean it. I love you Peeta,” I say never breaking eye contact with him and my heart lodges in my throat as I see him search my face for the truth. He releases my wrists and I immediately wrap my arms around his neck and bury my head in his chest. "It hurts how much I love you. I wish I didn’t," I mumble into him. His arms go around me and he squeezes me in a hug that feels like home. 

“I thought I was in love with you when I first heard you sing.” His words startle me and my head snaps up. 

“Until you found out about what I do.” I say, trying again to break from his hold, but he is too strong and won’t let me go. 

“Yes... No...” He shakes his head as if to clear it and he licks his lips. “When I first met you, that was just an infatuation Katniss. When I met you again at the Ranch, I was so lost that I didn’t think anything mattered anymore. I didn’t know what real love was until that day you didn’t throw me out when you should have and took care of me instead. You took me camping and shared a part of yourself that you haven't show anyone else; that is when I saw that the real you was so much better than the fantasy." 

He pauses, searching my eyes before declaring, "I love you too Katniss. I love you so much,” He pulls me so tight into his arms that I'm lifted up onto my toes. I never thought I would hear those words from him and a rush of happiness floods my entire body in a way I have never knew was possible. We both start to laugh as he spins me around, both of us relieved at finally confessing our feelings and knowing the other one feels the same. 

A blast of cold air hits and I shiver in his arms. "I think I better get a little more properly attired Peeta, I whisper into his neck. 

"Oh god Katniss, I'm sorry. All reason left me when you said you loved me. I just had to take you here and now," he says and if it wasn't so dark, I bet I would see his ears flushed a little pink. I can't help but laugh at how wrong I was at thinking the worst about his stunned reaction and I feel even lighter at our shared words of love. I give him a peck on the lips and to make him feel better I tell him that I wanted him just as much. 

Peeta gets the dress from the banister and gently holds the dress over me so that I can slip it on then he picks up his jacket and puts it over my shoulders again. "I'm keeping these," Peeta says with a crooked smile as he picks up my thong and pulls me forward so he could tuck it into the inside pocket of his tuxedo. He then picks me up before I can even object and sits us both on the stone bench so that I am snuggled across his lap. 

I wrap my arm around his shoulders and start playing with the back of his hair. My eyes start to close for a moment, I'm so mentally tired from today. After a peaceful moment of silence just enjoying each other, Peeta speaks up again. "What does this mean for us Katniss?"

Sadness and fear hits me at his words. "I don't know the answer to that Peeta. All I know is that you deserve everything you've ever wanted in life. I've seen you on T.V., how you helped steer your father's career. You're brilliant and are meant for so much more. I don't want to stand in the way of all that, and you would have to give up everything you worked for if you were with me. Society is not very forgiving about people like me."

Peeta sighs in frustration. "We've gone over this before Katniss. What if you’re the only thing I want? What is the point of anything if you aren't in my life," he says stroking my cheek with his thumb. 

"Peeta, you don't want me, I don't fit into your life. God, can you even imagine introducing me to your mother? ‘Hey this is the girl you insulted on the street and it turns out you were right about her!’" I try to make a joke of it, but it falls completely flat and the raised eyebrow by Peeta says he knows it too. 

"Katniss, we can make it work, we can find away. You can leave Diana Flynn behind you and never see her again. Please trust me," Peeta answer back, his voice strained with pleading. I want that to be true, I really do, but it's hard to believe that anything good can come for me. I chew on my bottom lip considering his words when I hear a rock skitter down the stairs above us. We both turn our heads to see if anybody is there then there is a whistle in the air. 

"That will be Finnick. He was going to warn me when my father and mother should be arriving to the party." Peeta says sighing in relief that it was nobody else and he sends a whistle in reply. 

"Let me guess, you've been doing this whistle messaging thing since you were kids." I give a small chuckle and he gets a bashful look on his face. 

"We developed a system at the bakery when I was working in the back and he was out front. And... it served as a great warning system preventing us from getting in trouble with Tia Mags." Peeta answers nuzzling my neck. He takes a deep breath and let's it go slowly. "I better go. When can I see you next?" 

"I'm back at the Ranch on Friday. I know it's a lot to ask but can you come on New Years? I don't want to spend it with anyone but you." I answer, holding him a little tighter before I have to let him go. I don’t tell him that Effie is a little miffed at me right now because I told her to keep that day clear of clients despite that being one of my most profitable days in hopes I could see Peeta. 

"I want to spend it with you as well. I warn you, I might have to bring the whole gang though."

"Oh lord, well I better warn the girls then. Make sure all hands are on deck." 

"Yes you better," Peeta says bouncing me on his knee, making me laugh. 

"New Years Eve then. We will use that time to discuss what we should do." Peeta looks up at me then and gives a small tentative smile. 

"We?"

"Yes, we."

Peeta smile widens and he kisses me hard on the lips and the kiss isn't very successful since I can't help but smile myself. Another whistle pierces the air and Peeta rolls his eyes. We both get up and I take off his jacket and hand it back to him. He puts it back on and I help him button it up.

"There now, you look like an upstanding citizen again. You go up first since Finnick is waiting for you. I don’t want anybody to discover us until we figure everything out." I say smoothing down his coat. He nods his head and takes my hands to softly kiss each one. 

"Katniss I want to give you something." He reaches into his upper pocket and pulls out a pearl. "When I was little, I found this inside an oyster on a beach in Australia when our family was on vacation. My father told me that one day I would know who the right person was to give it to and since then it has always been my lucky charm. Now I want you to have it."

He puts it in my palm and closes his hand over mine so it digs into both our hands for a moment. When he lets go I roll it in my fingers and kiss it before slipping it into my clutch. 

"Thank you Peeta," is the only thing I manage to say as my throat closes and I swallow back tears. We hug one more time before he whispers that he better go. He kisses me on the forehead and tells me he loves me one more time before he makes his way up the stairs. I look out at the ocean while fixing my hair over my shoulder where I’m sure I must have a mark from his mouth. I take a moment to contemplate the beauty before me while giving Peeta a head start before I picked up my shoes and make my way up. 

Peeta is so different from any man I've ever known. On the outside he looked even more shut down by life then me, struggling with the darkness that tried to make him a shell of a human being. But underneath all that is still a man full of love and hope who can visualize a future I am unable to see. He actually sees me as a person, and not something just to be used like Plutarch, Crane or Cato. Cato. I stop mid-step and Crane's words come back to me again "high and mighty". Before Cato strangled me he said, "I need to punish some of that high and mighty out of you." It can't be a coincidence that Crane used those very words. He must have talked to Cato, and recently. I feel like a complicated puzzle is finally fitting together. Cato's mirrored words, Crane using Snow as a threat, Crane fear of being discovered at the brothel. I knew Crane's fear of exposure was a little too extreme. It's no ordinary fear of a scandal. I know Snow has illegal dealings outside of the brothel and bribed many people so he stays out of harms way. What if Crane is one of those people? I need to find Plutarch right now.

I run up the stairs as fast as I can and slip my shoes back on when I get to the top. I make my way through the garden and I'm about to go up the stairs to the house when I hear my name.

"Katniss!" 

"Hi Prim," I turn around and trying my best to smile. It feels like an eon ago that I ran from our argument and now I want to just push past it. She stares at me strangely with a dazed look on her face to the point that I start feeling uncomfortable. I unconsciously start smoothing down my dress and feel suddenly very vulnerable without that small piece of thong covering up my bits and pieces. 

“What’s wrong?” I ask her, putting my hand on her arm trying and shake her out of this weird funk. 

"Nothing,” she answers as her expression starts to focus again. “I was just wondering where you were. I couldn’t find you anywhere.” Her once dazed look is now a focused on me as if she is searching for something, her forehead crinkled in concentration. "Where were you?"

"I have just been taking a breather,” I say shifting my hips back and forth, hating that I am lying to her. “Look, I’m sorry I yelled at you like that Prim. I shouldn’t have. Are we okay?”

Prim just nods her head without looking at me so it doesn’t inspire any confidence before she finally says, “You have nothing to apologize for Katniss, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry too.” She then reaches out to give me a brief hug before we continue into the mansion.

“I'm going to head out, you know this is not my type of thing anyway. Will the Coins bring you back in time tomorrow for Christmas presents and lunch?"

She winces at my use of the word "Coins" but doesn't point out that I didn't say grandparents. "Katniss, can I come home with you? I want to wake up in my own bed and spend Christmas with you."

She sounds like a little girl again and I can't help but smile.

"Of course Prim. Let’s go in and say our goodbyes.” We walk up the stairs and Prim keeps looking at me. I must have really freaked her out more than I thought with what I said. 

As I come into the doors I see Plutarch right away and I ask Prim if she minds walking ahead of me so I can talk to him. When he sees me purposely walking towards him, he separates from the people he is talking to while a jovial smile never leaves his face. 

“Snow. It’s my boss that you're after aren’t you? What the hell does he have to do with Crane?” I say in a low voice the moment he is next to me.

“Why aren’t you a clever girl. I thought I might have to spell it out for you at our next meeting. Most people don’t get me right away like you do," Plutarch answers, looking like a pleased teacher. 

"Well? What are you getting me into here Plutarch?" 

"You should ask yourself more what you have been involved in already Diana," he says, losing his look of benevolence and meeting my steely gaze with one of his own. "Just remember, treat Crane nicely. If he wants to see you at the Ranch again don't fight it. And if you need more incentive to cooperate, if it wasn't for Crane's intervention, Cato would have been in jail a long time ago. No attempted rape, no smack-down of your friend. And don’t think because Snow is pissed at him right now he won’t ever come back.”

An icy anger settles over with me at his words and Plutarch knows I have his ear. "Tell me everything. What do you want me to do?" He just waves me off and puts the ever-present smile on his face again. 

“Oh we can talk details next week. I already set up an appointment for Friday. Now I hope you enjoy the rest of your night. I'm afraid I will have to leave you as I have too many guest to attend to." He takes up my hand and kisses it. He is about to turn away before he turns back. "Oh and wear that black teddy of yours that I like so much." 

I stare at Plutarch's retreating form and anger courses through me at being a pawn to these mens’ games. All I want to do is provide for my sister and I resent being used by Snow, Crane or Plutarch for whatever their reasons are. Now I just want to get out of this place as soon as possible. I should have just stayed home, job be damned. Okay, I know that is not realistic, but it is a nice thought. 

I go search for Prim and Cinna and see them talking to my family. Our goodbyes are brief and as expected uncomfortable. My grandfather just nods his head at me, not even bothering to unclasp his hands from behind his back. My grandmother gives another stiff hug, looking displeased to even be touching me. My mother's hug is surprisingly warm and there is a feeling of comfort in her embrace I’ve only felt when I was a child. I look up at her surprised and my mother of old flits through her eyes like a hummingbird that you can barely see before it's gone and her blank express look returns. 

I can't help but feel disgust at the thought of how Plutarch would be proud of me when I say goodbye to Seneca. When I turn to him he has a smile on his face but his eyes hold only hatred and distrust. He goes in for a hug and I use all my brothel training to speak to him with my body in a subtle way only he will understand. My eyes are lowered ever so coyly, my hips have a small sway, and my hair sweeps over his shoulder as I lean in. My pelvis ever so gently touches his groin when hug him goodbye. I whisper in his ear, "I thought about what you said and you are right." My thumb flickers on his shoulder before I pull away. It's a amazing how small movements can speak volumes, and everything I did, was so brief, he barely had time to catch on, let alone anyone else. And his eyes reflect my success as they hold glee and lust instead of the hatred they held before. Yes, I am very good and what I do but I remind myself I’m doing it to get him away from Prim and Sae. 

The three of us walk away and Cinna wraps his arm around my back and I am grateful again for all the support he has given me. His easy going nature has also seemed to bridge a gap between my sister and I as we talk about meeting up with Portia and raiding the diner kitchen so we can all make enormous ice cream sundaes. I’m already thinking mine will be a Guiness float. 

Just when we get to the entrance, I see Peeta there with his entourage and I have to resist the urge to run to him and hug him one more time. It is a good thing I do because his parents make a grand entrance full of self-importance. Or rather I should say his mother did. His father looks as jovial and sweet as the day as I saw him, if a little more formal. With his huge popularity, and especially if Mama Mellark has her way, he'll be President by the next election. Monica Mellark is in a ridiculous dress of feathers and jewels that probably could buy a house in Texas. Her intricate hairdo looks like it would give a headache for days, and she is acting like she is The First Lady already. My stomach curls with discomfort as images of our one and only encounter flashes through my mind. Her twisted face filled with rage was completely opposite to the the pleasing one she has on right now and I can't help but think that hiding true feelings is definitely one of the things that Peeta inherited from his mother. 

Peeta steps forward with the fox face and Monica greets her with a huge smile as she gives his date a kiss on each cheek and I know she intends Peeta to marry her. Standing together, the whirl activity focused on them, they look like the perfect political family. I can almost see it now, his father on stage giving his acceptance speech with his wife smiling by his side. Peeta would be standing behind them holding his pregnant and glowing wife's hand. It's so amazing I almost want it for them. Who am I to prevent something like that from happening? 

I think Peeta must read my thoughts because his eyes flicker at me briefly before his arm reaches into the inside pocket of his tuxedo. My face feels instantly hot as I realize that he is finger the thong that he had put in there. I open my clutch and press the pearl between my fingers. I don’t have to look up to know he saw me do it. I remember our words of love and my fears are washed away for the moment. Maybe going to this gala was not such a bad idea afterall. 

The three of us slip by them and to my relief the cameras are only pointed at those who are still coming in, not those who are leaving as we are escorted to where the valet pickup is. We slip into the limo and Prim slides in next to me. It's automatic for me to put my arm around her and I am about to pull it away just in case she doesn't want my affection, when to my surprise she puts her head on my shoulder. I put my head on hers and I give her shoulder a squeeze. 

"Merry Christmas Katniss," she whispers. "Merry Christmas Little Duck," I whisper back and I can't help but kiss her on the forehead, and she just closes her eyes. Cinna smiles at us both as we drive away and head to Sae's diner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope you enjoyed that! Sorry it's taking longer now but as the plot gets more intricate, I'm working slower to make sure it all fits. Until next time!


	22. Pillow Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to warn the faint of heart that some may be uncomfortable with the first scene as it has light BDSM.

_"I love you."_ Those bittersweet words keep swirling around in my head. I close my eyes and savor the memory of the sincere look in Peeta’s beautiful eyes as he told me and it’s enough to get me through this rough day. Hearing those words from such a special man set me free with happiness I never thought I would ever feel, but they torture me as well. It was easier working at the Ranch, being paid for sex when I thought my heart was dead, when there was nothing for men to take from me, and nothing to lose. But now I find my heart is very much alive and beating for one person and doing my job is getting increasingly difficult. Just a few more days I repeatedly tell myself. Snow will be coming to the ranch soon and I'll tell him personally that I'm leaving, and then my last client will be on Monday. On New Years Eve Peeta will be that client. 

I hear a moan coming from the other room and it brings me back to the present. I finish cleaning up in the bathroom but decide to let him wait just a little bit longer. He’s been making me wait for too so payback’s a bitch. I take my time with everything I do - peeling off my teddy, cleaning down below with a warm wet cloth, washing my face, braiding my hair and pulling off my stiletto heels. I pull on a comfortable pair of cotton panties and slip into my silk robe before finally leaving the bathroom and heading for my target.

Four years is a long time to learn about the desires of men. I quickly learned in my first year at the Kitty Ranch that men with the least amount of power in their lives are the most dominate when they have the opportunity to be with a prostitute. That is why I’ve always figured someone else must have been holding Seneca’s leash like Snow held Cato’s, because both are minions dying to have power in their own lives. I should have figured Snow would be holding both of their leashes. Conversely, the men with all the power are more turned on by giving up all the control; even if at first they don’t realize this is what they truly want. That is why Plutarch Heavensbee, billionaire, media mogul, and puppet master of people’s lives loves to be tied up and call me Mistress.

At the moment, Plutarch is sitting on my floor next to my accessory wall, his red swollen wrists above his head tied tightly to the rope hooked to my wall. The smell of his sweat, the wax I used on his chest and our sex hit me as I get closer to him and I can't help but wrinkle my nose. I really am not an expert at BDSM but Clove was helpful in giving me some easy starter techniques for a bondage novice like me. In fact since the Cato incident she actually has been kind of nice to me, even occasionally giving me a tight smile in the hallway. I still don’t understand why she’s friends with Glimmer, but that's off topic. Plutarch really should be Clove’s client, since she is literally the absolute master on everything BDSM, but he always requests me and now I know it’s more than my great talents in bed causing him to seek me out. 

I languidly sit down Indian style in front of him getting comfortable while Plutarch looks up at me with a Cheshire cat smile stretching his face, despite the fact that he is the one losing circulation in his hands. Usually I keep him gagged so I don’t have to deal with his inane chatter the entire time, but not today. Today, he actually has something I want to hear and he’s not going to weasel out of it this time.

“What? No more Mistress Flynn anymore?” he asks, clearly disappointed that I have changed my appearance to something less dominatrix in nature. 

“To you I will always be Mistress Flynn, and don’t you forget it," I answer firmly. “But I gave you what you wanted and now it’s your turn Mr. Heavensbee. So tell me why I should bite the hand that currently feeds me?” I answer back curtly. I am in no humor to play or be coy and sweet to get what I want today. My current hatred of the Y chromosome makes me take it out on the only one in the room, Plutarch. He likes it that way, so it works out for us both. 

He stares at me for a minute, appraising me, and I meet his gaze with an unwavering one of my own. His body shifts as he seems to come to some sort of a decision, or it could be from the pain of his position before he begins to speak. 

“How much do you know about Snow?”

I just shrug my shoulders. I really try not to think about my boss, he is just an entity to me. “That he is a creepy old man and a greedy bastard who squeezes every penny that he can out of us before we’re useless to him. But besides that he pretty much leaves us girls alone except when he comes for his monthly inspections.”

Plutarch nods his head, deep in thought for a moment before he realizes I’m waiting for him to continue. “Your boss is far more powerful than most people realize. There is always a scapegoat ready for the slaughter when anyone comes near to indicting him.”

“Plutarch...” I huff out ready for him to get to the point.

“Oh yee of little patience my beautiful Diana. To continue where I was so rudely interrupted, Snow is one of the biggest drug lords north of the border. He has a major stakehold in both California and Nevada. Your precious Ranch is one of multiple enterprises he uses to launder his money. It’s a perfect place really to cook up the books and run the drug money through, especially since it's such a secretive business to begin with. Not to mention his associates can come to the Ranch looking like they are coming for a little action, and he can meet with them privately.

"Crane. He's covering up for Snow isn't he?"

"That's why you are my little star Katniss, you are just so bright. With a few bad cops underneath his payroll, Crane is always able to push the blame for Snow's illegal activities to other poor suckers in California and get paid handsomely for it. Snow's paid off some men in Nevada too, but Crane is the weak link that I can use to blow this up nationwide. Can you imagine, Los Angeles' hero district attorney on the payroll of one of the most dangerous drug lords in the U.S.? Not to mention I will be the one who exposes the bastard before the idiot D.A. who's not even close to knowing who he is."

Plutarch's eyes glaze over for a moment as images of his future triumphs run through his mind. His wrists are looking bloated, like they may be losing circulation, but he's not complaining and I'm not done with him yet, so I leave him shackled and try to remain patient until he finally comes back to me.

"So let me guess, you want me to fuck Seneca Crane's confession of involvement with Snow right out of him, trapping him in a corner so he cooperates with police." 

"Exactly. And I will use the security footage of your room to capture his confession. It’s brilliant, if I must say. Oh, and don't worry, I will only use the audio to save our dear delicate public from any unseemly sights."

"Plutarch, why are you telling me all this here? Isn't it dangerous for you to be plotting against my boss in his very own territory." I say pointing to the small camera that is trained in the corner of my room that takes in almost every angle.

Plutarch only chuckles. "Oh don't worry about me. I'm not the only one who has associates in this lovely establishment. And I think it's only fitting I will use his own place against him."

"Haymitch..." There could only be one person that Plutarch would actually deal with and Effie would definitely not be it. My open answer is confirmed by the gleam of pride in Plutarch's eyes. 

“So do I have your cooperation Ms. Flynn?” He looks at me with all the confidence in the world that my answer will go his way, but something just is not fitting in for me. His motivation doesn't ring true, and I am not letting him go until I’m completely satisfied with his answers.

“I’m not buying it Plutarch. What good reason do I have to help you? If he's as power as you say, it sounds like I'll just get myself into a world of hurt.” For the first time all evening he loses his cool and becomes all blustery. He struggles to break free, but I did too good of a job and he isn't going anywhere. 

"I just explained it all to you. Or do I have to go into detail of Snow finding a way to fuck you over until there is nothing left if we don't get rid of him." He lashes out.

“You know what, this isn't really about me, is it Plutarch." I say, the anger raising inside of me but somehow I manage to keep it contained and not yell at him. "Don't give me that bullshit right now. Before I do anything for you, I need to know why you, personally have a vendetta against Snow. What's in it for you besides the glory of media fame."

Plutarch seems to deflate in front of my eyes and turns away from me. Gone is the confident game master and in his place is just a tired, naked, overweight man sitting in front of me. I get up and pick up a pair of scissors on a small table next to him. I cut away the rope from his wrists, and sit in front of him again, but a little closer this time. I figure he is vulnerable enough right now without being tied up. 

"Plutarch, what has Snow done to you?" I ask softly as I rub his wrists, bringing back the circulation into them. 

"He took away my only child that's what he did," he says in a tired angry voice. "My son went to highschool with Cato and got involved in his crowd. He was a good boy until he met him, and then he couldn't stop getting into trouble. He got arrested more times than I can count and most of the time he was on something. I got him into rehab and he was doing better, I thought my son was finally coming back to me." 

A tear escapes his eye and he brushes it away furiously, angry to be displaying so much emotion in front of me. He takes a deep breath to steady himself before continuing, "When I visited him in rehab he told me that Cato's uncle was dangerous, that he saw things no man ever should and that he was scared. I swore I would protect him, I swore him. But three days later he disappeared from the facility. The police found him two days later in an abandoned car in the L.A. river, a heroin needle up his arm and they called it an overdose. I know Snow got rid of him, and I am I will make that man pay if it's the last thing I do. Death would be too easy for him." The fury he feels emanates from him, in a way that I understand, in a way that I know. 

"Okay I'll do it," I say in a cracked voice. "I'll help you get them all."

__________________________________

 

"Joanna will you please sit the fuck down!" I look up shocked, I've never heard sweet Madge yell like that before, but the thick tension in the room must be getting to her and Jo's frantic pacing makes me even want to shoot her. 

"Leave her the fuck alone Madge," Delly snaps out uncharacteristically while Jo stamps towards Madge looking like she's ready to slap her. I can't believe these close friends are ready to come to blows over no reason and I am not going to take it.

"Quit it right now, all of you. Jo, get yourself a drink to settle your nerves. And have some respect all of you," I say in a low-tone menancing tone, as I continue to stroke Rue's head which is in my lap, her unending tears wetting my thighs. They all quickly do what I say and send me sheepish apologetic looks. 

Every girl is on edge because Coriolanus Snow, our not so esteemed owner of the Kitty Ranch is making one of his visits and this time he has decided to clean up shop. Every now and then he likes to interfere with the smooth running of the Ranch and wreck havoc, like when he inserted Cato into our lives. This visit looks to be one of his worse ones yet. He has seen five girls so far and two of them have already been let go because he felt they were too old and weren't making as much money as the fresh meat. No one has escaped his office without tears in her eyes. The worst part is that Haymitch isn't here, hasn't been since I've come back so it almost like we've been abandoned to the big bad wolf. Effie, bless her heart, is a kiss ass and I feel in no way will protect us from whatever Snow wants to serve us. 

I'm working really hard not to nervously twitch my leg so as not to disturb an inconsolable Rue but I'm so upset it's hard to contain my energy. When I got back to the Ranch she was happier than I've ever seen her and the joy that she radiated lifted everyone's spirits. Thresh had asked for her hand in marriage and she had joyfully accepted. I couldn't help my own excitemment that such a wonderful person was leaving to start the happy life she always deserved and I'd always hoped for her.

Rue was the first one to see Snow, face shining full of hope as she made her request, but he refused to let her go, callous to the happiness he was crushing. She had two years left in her contract at the Ranch and he promised hell for her, Thresh, and for her family if she attempted to leave. This was a punch in the gut for all of us and set the tone for the rest of the day. The hope I had of leaving the Kitty Ranch and finally being with Peeta is crumbling like a sandcastle against the surging sea. I try to tell myself that I'm done with my contract at the end of the year, Snow has no hold over me, but I'm having a hard time believing it myself. I can't even hold to Plutarch's machinations as being real.

We all turn our heads as we hear the click of heels coming down the hall before Effie and Annie enter the room. Tears are streaming down Annie's sweet face and she barely looks at us. 

"Well I girls I have job security for a while," she says with a chuckle that sounds closer to a sob. "I guess I better tell Finn the good news." Rue seeing the pain in someone else that so closely matches her own, stands up shakily and walks over and embraces her. They both leave the room without looking back and not a single word is said by anybody else. I didn't know what Finnick's decision was going to be about being with Annie, but I can only guess he did actually ask her to leave and it breaks my heart a little bit more because I know what a hard decision that must have been for him. 

"Katniss, Snow would like to see you now." I look up to see Effie's own devastated face and I immediately feel guilty for just thinking of her as just a kiss ass. The only thing she has ever done is love this place and the girls in it. 

Six inch heels and quaking nerves is not a good combination and I immediately stumble the moment I get up. Joanna is immediately at my side to support me and I silently give her a grateful smile but I gently push her away and stiffen my back and close off my emotions. I will not let Snow see me weak, no matter what happens.

No words are spoken as we go down the hallway to Snow's personal office. While Haymitch's work space is crammed in a tiny room despite the fact he runs this place, Snow has given himself a luxurious suite that is only open for his rare visits or for "special guests." Effie tries to give me an encouraging smile as I turn the nob and I open the door trying to push down the feeling of dread welling up inside me. 

When I enter it takes all my power not to roll my eyes when I see Snow sitting there like a villan in his lair. He lounges in a large purple velvet wing back chair wearing a silver silk robe that matches his hair with one hand holding a glass of his preferred scotch and his other in a fist under his chin as he looks at me with narrow eyes. I'm pretty sure he takes the roll of villain seriously and enjoys the fear he instills in those around him. I look over to his expansive bed and find Glimmer curled up naked under the sheets, practically purring like a damn persian cat. Does this woman have no dignity? 

"Sir." I say demurely, lowering my eyes so he doesn't see the hatred that fills them.

"Ahh Diana Flynn, one of my stars. Raise your arms and turn around for me so I can see you." I do as he says, turning around in my red stilettos. They match the lace panty and bra ensemble I'm currently wearing, ready for my next appointment. 

"That's good enough, thank you Diana. I honestly don't see what the men are all raving about, you're not like my Glimmer over here, now she is a little star." I look over and see a self satisfied grin stretching her face, and I look down again trying to control the need to bite back with a stinging retort. Snow has made it absolutely clear that only he can give permission to leave the Ranch, not Haymitch or Effie, and I can't lose my chance by losing my patience. 

"But I can't be disappointed by your excellent numbers," he continues. "In fact that is what I wanted to talk to you about. I think it's time I took the next step with the Ranch. Girls like Jo, Clove and yourself need to move on from Senator's sons to the real heavy hitters. You'll be the start of my new luxury brand of prostitutes. I can rent you out for weeks at a time, to be a companion at the beck and call of affluent men's wishes, like an old fashioned courtesan, if you will." A tingle of dread goes down my spin at his words. He makes me sound like a fucking rented sports car. 

"Sir..." I try to interrupt but he throws his glass at my head. It shatters a foot away from me, dripping liquor down the wall. I flinch to the side, but I do not dare move from my spot.

"Do not ever interrupt me," he says in a cold voice that freezes me to my bones. He then gives me a smile like he just didn't have a temper tantrum and continues. 

"You will become a very wealthy women for your efforts Diana. These men will shower as much jewelry and gifts a woman can desire. A very good trade for being compliant. And I don't want to see what happened with Seneca. No arguing with the customers no matter what the problem is. There is only one reason you should be opening your mouth and you’re fortunate I don’t make you demonstrate it right now. You almost cost me because of your little tiff. Are you seeing him to tonight?" I just nod my head. "Good. Give him whatever he wants."

"Yes sir."

"Good, that is all," he says dismissively, but I don't move. I am determined to tell him I'm leaving. I steal myself up, take a deep breath and just dive in.

"Sir I appreciate the generous offer, but I wanted to let you know I'm leaving the Kitty Ranch. My contract is up and I do not wish to renew it." Glimmer sits up at this and she looks curiously at Snow, waiting for his reaction. He clenches his hand so tight that his knuckles turn white. I'm very glad that I told him after he threw his glass because if he had it in his hand, I'm sure it wouldn't miss this time. He doesn't bother to get up from his chair and to my surprise he plasters a fake smile on his face. 

"Well Diana, I am disappointed to be losing you. Unlike some of the other girls, your contract is up so I can't keep you here. It's a pity though because you are worth more than two girls put together. I would gladly let go the two other girls who requested to leave if that meant we could keep you here at the Ranch. But I understand that your happiness is more important than others. So I wish you luck, but let me know by the New Year if you change your mind and I will consider the requests of the other girls. You may go. Tell Effie I want to see Madge in 20 minutes." 

Snow waves me off dismissively and I turn around stunned. I hear him call Glimmer to get on her knees and I shudder as the door swings shut. What the hell just happened there? If this was a chess game, Snow had just made some brilliant moves and is close to claiming checkmate. Of course it wouldn't be easy to leave, I knew that. But now I have either the happiness of the man I love in one hand, or that of my friends in the other. Snow ripped me into two with one swift move. Effie walks quickly towards me and asks me how it went. I just shake my head not looking at her and give her his message before walking away. 

I walk numbly too my room, and plop on my bed, glad that at least I was the first girl not to cry because of my meeting; I refuse to. Instead as I lie there and go over Snow's words I can feel myself fueled with anger at how he is practically making us his slaves. How dare he dangle my friends happiness to ensure that I stay longer. He is making my decision to help Plutarch so easy. I am not going to cry because what I am going to squeeze the information I need out of Seneca and make Snow pay. My phone buzzes and I pull it out of my purse. The text message reads, "I can't wait to see you on New Years and start making plans. I told my father I will be leaving politics and he is completely supportive. Love you." Damn you Peeta, don't make me fucking cry. 

____________________________  
“Well did you give Seneca the Flynn Deluxe package?” Haymitch barks out as I enter his office. He takes a swig from his flask, and he looks like total shit, more rags than man as he sits in his office chair. The moment I heard he came back to the Ranch I was in his office to confront him disregarding my impending appointment.

“He got something alright, but the deluxe package wasn’t it, but don’t worry boss I got what you wanted.” Haymitch just raises an eyebrow but doesn’t ask for details, just takes a deeper swig of his flask. 

"So it's good you’re back just as Snow is leaving. He's done such a fabulous job making decisions while you were gone," I say crossing my arms, unable to hide the hurt and betrayal lacing my voice. 

A flash of guilt flickers through his eyes as he picks up his flask again. He drains the rest of it and looks disappointed that it's empty. "I was away on business," he mumbles.

"Oh let me guess, you were conspiring with Plutarch. Why the hell didn't you tell me what you were planning with him? What you were getting me into?"

"The less you know the better sweetheart, believe me." He answers before pulling out another flask from his drawer and brings it to his lips. Now I think Haymitch is just trying to piss me off. I can't believe my life and happiness is reliant on a closed off alcoholic who is conspiring with an egomaniac. I charge forward and bend down so we are face to face, pulling his damn flask out of his hand, and slamming it hard on the desk.

"Oh, like the fact our boss is a fucking psychopathic drug dealer using our Ranch as a front? Gee, why wouldn't I want to know that?" 

Fire finally ignites in his eyes and he sits up straighter, pointing a finger at me. "You especially don't need to know that. He's self serving and dangerous. Ignorance is not only bliss sweetheart, it saves your bony ass." 

"You can let me decide that Haymitch, I'm not some child to be patted on the head and sent away." 

"Well that's fucking obvious," he says, eyes narrowing at what I'm currently wearing. "So did you do what Plutarch asked?" 

"What do you think?" I reply, and he nods his head in what looks like approval and sadness but I am closing myself off to any sympathy for him. 

"Haymitch I got Thresh to pull the video for me and I have the only copy. I'm keeping it until I'm ready."

"Now why the hell would you do that. What are you playing with Sweetheart?" he says picking up the damn flask again.

"I'm not playing with anything Haymitch," I say standing up, towering over his slumped form in my stilletto heels. "I just need time before all this comes out, just in case I'm exposed too. I don't want to get burnt and I definitely don't trust Plutarch’s promise of anonymity. Besides, I need to talk to Prim first then the two of you bastards can have it." 

His glares at me but he nods his head. "Fine, but Plutarch's not going to wait forever. I can push him off until your next visit home, that's it." 

He reaches for his flask and I grab it first, throwing it across the room. “Would you fucking stop drinking when you are playing with people lives!” I yell at him, completely fed up. The door opens just as it hits the wall and a very wide eyed Effie looks at the both of us.

"What is going on here?" She asks in a voice shriller than usual, sounding like a mother scolding too children caught in the act.

"Nothing!" we both answer at the same time, me with anger in my voice, and Haymitch sounding sullen. 

"Well, Senator Mellark and his entourage are here. Katniss, please go to the VIP room immediately." 

"Yes Effie," I say pushing down my temper. "This is not over yet Haymitch, we have more to talk about," I direct to him in a lower voice and he just glares at me defiantly.

I walk out the door and Effie stops me just as I close the door. "Now don't let your little tiff with Haymitch ruin Mr. Mellark's good time. He is an excellent customer and I don't need whatever the two of you are dealing with to tarnish that. I'm glad to see you are wearing his gift, excellent choice for New Year's Eve. That is such a lovely corset." I quietly agree to everything she says, hoping she won't give me a long lecture and thankfully she is pleased enough with my answers and promptly goes into Haymitch's office. I have a feeling she will have not have anything nicer to say to him than me. 

I make my way to the VIP lounge and the cacophony of men and women's voices mingling signal that they are already here. There is a chorus of "Diana!" as I enter the room and it feels like I just got smacked in the face by deja vu. Besides some new men I don't recognize, all of Peeta's friends are here including Thom, his brothers, Marvel and even the Senator, who is already enjoying the company of Joanna. Only Finnick is missing, probably already alone with Annie. Seeing them all here, I realize it's been only a few months since Peeta came into my world again, but I feel worlds away from that girl I was. All eyes seem to be on me when I enter the room, probably because of my outfit, and I try to put on a welcoming smile while scanning the room for the only person I care about. Peeta is sitting by himself at the end of the bar and when our eyes connect, nothing else in the world seems to matter. 

We both cut through the crowd to reach each other and he immediately wraps an arm around me, squeezing me tightly to his side. "Nice outfit," he whispers in my ear, fingering the edge of the red lace bra I coupled with the corset.

"I wanted to see if I could wear this corset without throwing it at you," I can't help but tease back. He lifts his eyebrow at me playfully, which I echo, and our mini-standoff is broken by both of us cracking smiles. 

"Can we please get out of here? I don't want to share you with anyone else," he groans into my ear as his hands slide down body. His thumbs find my hipbones and he softly rubs them in circles. His actions draws my pelvis closer and I automatically wrap my arms around his neck and drop my forehead to his shoulder. 

"Yes," I croak out kind of forgetting what he asked in the first place. Right now, I would say just about anything.

"God you smell so good. You are like a drug I can't get enough of," he says as his hands slide further down to cup my ass.

I run my fingers through his fine hair and kiss him on the nape of the neck. "I can say the same about you Mr. Mellark. But I think you should listen to your own words and head to my bedroom." I look deeply in his eyes and lick my lips to make my point. He swallows hard only going 'Mmm hmm" before he yanks my hand and we rush out of the room, ignoring the catcalls. I don't want to ring the New Year in with a party, I just want to get lost in Peeta and forget everything except for him. 

_____________________________

I wish getting lost in Peeta is easy as it played out in my brain. The decisions and actions I've taken these past few days crowd in on me and I am just not there mentally with him. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to get lost into the sensation of Peeta pushing into me from behind on the tantra chair and the flutter of soft kisses on my back he gives me, but it's just not working and I know I am nowhere to reaching my peak. I just hope that by not facing him, he won't be able to tell that I'm not into it. 

"Okay Katniss, what is it." Peeta stops his thrusts, sitting up and pulling me back onto his lap. He is still hard inside of me but the only thing he does is put his chin on my shoulder and starts rubbing soothing circles on my belly. Of course he can tell something is off, I can never seem to hide anything from him. 

I just lean my head back on his shoulder and roll my head away. "I'm fine sweetie," I try to answer in an upbeat manner, pulling one of his hands up to kiss it, but I know my answer is hardly convincing. He answers with a sigh and lifts me up with ease, ignoring my weak protests, shifting me in his arms to cradle me has he walks over to the chair I now associate with him and he sits us down in it. 

"Obviously you are not fine my Little Kat, please tell me what's going on," he says rubbing my cheek with his thumb. This action combined with his soft voice, full of concern along with the use of the nickname I thought I hated but sort of love now breaks me. I can't delay telling him any longer and who am I kidding, he'll find out soon enough anyway. 

I put my head on his chest and wrap my arms tightly around him, afraid of the rejection that is surely to come. "I signed on two more years at the Ranch," I say in a rush of words into his chest. 

"You did what?!" Peeta jerks his body up so fast he almost dislodges me off his lap and I have to hold onto him tight until he settles down again. I bite my lip hard at hearing the hurt and anger that I knew was going to color his voice. I let go of him and semi curl into myself trying to hide from the truth and from his anger. He is having none of it and pushes my shoulder back so I am forced to look at him.

"Why Katniss? Why would you do that to us?" he asks in a tight voice, his eyes red and watery. 

I hate to see the hurt that I've caused him, he's been through so much in his life and I don't want to be another person who would add to that so I swallow my pride and tell him about Snow's leverage of my friends happiness to keep me at the Ranch longer. It all comes spilling out, from the girls leaving his office in tears because of their contracts, to my meeting with Snow and his new mostly illegal ventures into prostitution. I don't tell Peeta about Plutarch and his plans to take down my boss so as not to give him possible false hope or get him involved in anything dangerous. When I'm done I prepare myself for the barrage of angry words but to my surprise I hear a short low laugh coming from him as he rubs his eyes. He's obviously frustrated but a laugh is better than what I was formerly expecting.

He looks at me with an exasperated and befuddled expression on his face. "Shit Katniss, why do you have to be so... so... so damn ..." He searches for a word for a moment before bursting out with "...pure!"

"Pure!" I huff out, offended that he see's me as a stupid innocent child, never mind that Joanna has used that term with me before. "That is an interesting choice of words considering I'm a god damn prostitute!" I can't help but scowl at him while I wave my arms, gesturing at my room and my current state of nudity.

Peeta gives another chuckle and runs his fingers through his hair, breaking free his curls almost looking crazy, but in the cutest way. 

"You become a prostitute to save your family," he starts looking at me like I must be a figment of his imagination. "Then you stubbornly save a lost man who doesn't deserve the love you have to give," I'm about to protest but he holds his hand up stopping me. "Now you sacrifice your own happiness for the freedom of your friends? You are so damn self-sacrificing and not to mention you hold this unexplainable innocence despite what you do. You're so damn pure!" He completes this statement by grabbing my face and kissing me hard on the lips, pouring out all his emotions into me.

"Sorry?" Is all I manage to pant out after he releases me. I don't see myself that way and how could I live with myself if I didn't make all the decisions I made? There is nothing pure about it, it was all about survival for me and my loved ones.

"Look, I am not letting you do this. I had to deal with my mother throwing a crystal vase at my head when I told her I wouldn't be handling her 'deals' anymore." I can't help but chuckle because objects being thrown seem to be a theme as of late and Peeta takes this opportunity to kiss my temple almost in a possessive manner. "I will find a way out of your contract. Get me a copy of it so I can show my lawyers. Okay?" Despite ending with a question for approval, there is a hard set resolve on his face and his tone brokers no argument. 

"Okay," I answer softly. I hate being told what to do and I want to tell him that I can handle my own affairs, but I can never say no to him and he looks so damn sexy when he is set on something. Besides that, I would trust him with my life. "But if this doesn't work will you be there at the end of two years? Will you still want me after all that time?" I can't help but ask.

"Always Katniss. I will always wait for you. There is no other person for me." And at that moment I remember that "always" was the word he whispered to me in my drug induced state when I asked him to stay. I know he is telling the truth and it feels so good to have someone on my side and not just wanting to take advantage of me. 

I take his face in my hands and pull him down for a deep kiss. Our tongues and teeth clash as we kiss like this will be the last time. I feel Peeta harden under me and this time I am able to let go of all my fears. We don't leave the room the entire night, despite the party raging in the other other room involving both our group of friends. When we hear the shouts and clamour of everyone ringing in the New Year, I am slowly riding on top of him, his hands gripping my hips, and we stop only long enough to punctuate our kisses with our vows of love. 

The next morning he leaves far too early too for my liking, but his father has appearances to make today. He stays until the very last minute and we both abstain from breakfast so we can squeeze in as much time as possible just holding each other and talking about light stuff, trying to forget that I promised this place two more of my years. When he gets up to get dressed he asks me to stay naked on the bed so that will be the last thing he sees before he goes. With a final kiss of my hand he is out the door. After the door closes, I turn around to lie on my stomach, chin resting on my arms, thinking about what I want to do for the rest of the day. Like usual he has bought the entire day so I don't have an appointment until tomorrow afternoon. My eyes are heavy from the active night and I soon drift into a dreamless sleep. It could be minutes, it could be hours before I wake up suddenly to the sound of my door clicking open. 

"Hello?" I hear a deep voice say.

"Did you forget something..." I say lifting my head, a smile spreading on my face, but it's not Peeta. And the reply I get is “What the fuck...” which is close to what I am thinking too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry for the delay. I want to make sure I get everything right that is in my head. The snowball that is Katniss's life is really speeding up here and the next chapter is really intense. I can't wait for all you to read it. I appreciate all the comments and kudos. :) Beta Shellie424 your awesome!


	23. Hell in a Handbasket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, major angst ahead!

"Gale..." His name leaves my lips in an escape of breath and I sit up quickly. I am transfixed by the man in front of me and I have the urge to pinch myself in the hope that I haven't just stepped into a nightmare. "What are you doing here?"

"I should ask you the same thing." He looks just as stunned as me and the way his hand clenches the doorknob tells me there is only a matter of moments before his temper hits the roof. 

"Well I see you've found Diana Flynn then," I hear a female voice say snidely. It's only now that I see Glimmer behind him looking like a cat that just caught the canary with a smirk playing on her lips. "I'll just leave you to it." She turns around and I hear her heels fade away down the hall. 

"Diana Flynn? You're Diana Flynn!?" He practically chokes on the words and his body starts to shake with what I’m pretty sure is rage. 

My blood pounds painfully loud in my ears, as my panic rises, "How do you know that name?" I ask feeling like my world has upended on itself.

"Practically every man who has gone to Vegas has heard that name. You're fucking notorious. What the fuck is going on Katniss?" He finally let's go of the door and slams it so hard some of my toys fall off the wall. "And put some damn clothes on!" His temper has officially blown and I realize with horror that I am completely nude. 

I jump off the bed and frantically scan my room for my robe before finding it thrown over the bedpost where I usually put it.

"I can explain Gale, please..." I plead, pulling the robe tight around my body. 

Gale pulls his hair and shakes his head like he doesn't want to hear it. "What is there to explain Katniss? You are a whore! How long have you been slutting yourself out? Half a year, a year?" 

"Four years," I whisper trying to hold back my tears. 

Gale looks up at me horrified as he realizes how long I have been doing this. "The money you loaned me..." he chokes out, not able to complete his sentence. My face says it all and the color drains from his face, probably reflecting my own. It’s too much for him to handle and he sits down heavily in the chair, Peeta's chair. 

“Fucking hell Katniss...” His head falls into his hands, and I'm afraid to approach him because this is a Gale I am not used to. Gale roaring angry yes, but lost and confused, never. So I step cautiously in front of him and asks what I fear most, "How did you find out about me?"

He gives a humorless laugh, looking up at me only briefly, but puts his head in his hands again like the very sight of me is painful. "I knew something was not right when I saw all your bruising. The cheek I could bypass, but your neck? And I always know when you're lying, or at least I thought I did. I started remembering past marks on your body. So I confronted your sister yesterday at our New Year's party. She swore she didn’t know anything but said she overheard you at a party with a guy talking about getting away from Diana Flynn. I thought you were in trouble,” he gives a humorless laugh again. “So after I tracked her down, I came here since it was my day off to confront her and find out what was going on. Well, I guess the jokes on me.”

She overheard me? Oh god, how long was she their? How much did she see of me with Peeta? 

"You drive all the way up to Las Vegas to play detective with my private life? That's fucked up! What gives you the right Gale, you are not my keeper. " I lash out at him to deflect my own guilt, forgetting that it's probably not the best idea to reignite Gale's temper. 

"Fucked up?! You want to talk about fucked up!" Gale's temper blazes fiery hot again and he quickly rises out of his chair and takes two big strides towards me. "Fucked up is being nothing but a common whore, while your sister who looks up to you thinks you have a legitimate job."

"I was going to tell her!" I answer, clutching at my robe tightly. 

"She shouldn't even have to deal with this shit. What is it going to do to her when she finds out? Why Katniss? God, how can you let yourself be used like this," he says gesturing around my room, tears in his eyes.

"It was my only option Gale, you have to believe me," I answer back pleading with him again. 

 

"Only option! There are other options besides selling your body for sex!" Gale screams, his face is blotchy and red as he yells in my face. But we are too much alike and his fire has always been answered by mine in return.

"What option Gale did I have as a high school drop out?! You're so brilliant, go ahead and tell me!" I yell back. "Taking on two more jobs than the two I was already working? Let Sae lose her home and her diner because my mom couldn't keep her hand out of the crack jar? Or do what I was doing before, prostituting myself in the back alley of Sae's diner?! There were no other options." 

At this his eyes go wide and I know I've said too much. "Sae knows?" I just nod my head, my lips pressed together tightly and I clench the front of my robe in my hands. 

"You are coming with me right now," he says grabbing my arm roughly. 

"No. I can't go, and I won't." I say defiantly. Even if I wasn't so mad at him right now for ordering me around, I wouldn't be able to go and break my deal with Snow and ruin the plans that were just starting to come together. 

"There is no room for argument Katniss. You need to get your head out of your ass and come with me now." He pulls me towards the door forgetting I am just in a robe. I try to yank away from him but his grip is too strong. 

"Gale, let me go. They'll see you." I say trying to pry his long fingers from my arm.

"I don't care. What do they need? Money? Can I buy you to come with me? That what it's all about, right?" He reaches with his other hand into his back pocket, never letting go of his unrelenting grip and pulls out a wad of bills. "Here, is that enough? Will you go with me now?" He slaps the bills on my chest and they just trickle down to the ground between us. I just shake my head in grief and shock, unable to answer him. 

The door burst open and Darius rushes in, and puts Gale in a headlock before he has a chance to react. Darius may be a big goofball, but he wasn't hired here for the entertainment factor. His grip is strong and Gale has to let go of my arm as he struggles to free himself from Darius' grip. 

"Katniss are you okay?" Darius asks as he forces Gale to kneel in front of him. 

"I'm fine Darius, but please let him go. He's my friend." Darius eyes narrow in distrust but he does as I say anyway and Gale grips his neck as he gasps for breath. I rush to him and kneel down next to him, putting my hand on his shoulder trying to get eye contact to see if he's okay. 

He pulls himself up, shaking me off, not quite looking at me and I remain kneeling in front of him. Darius just stares, transfixed by the drama unfolding in front of him. "Katniss, please come with me," he pleads with a desperate voice. 

"Gale I can't, please just listen..."

"Fine then," he says interrupting me. "Maybe your family can convince you." He pushes past Darius and charges out the door. 

"No please! Don't tell them, let me!" I plead as I run to catch up to him, ignoring all the curious stares of the girls I pass by. But Gale is too fast for me and Glimmer conveniently is walking down the hall, swaying back and forth in front of me that she delays me just enough. By the time I get to the door, he has hopped in his truck and screeching out the driveway.

I realize in horror that Rue and Thresh borrowed my Jeep to go camping over night so I'm stuck waiting for them to come back. It takes all my strength not to just sit down right there, as I fear deep in my bones that this is just the beginning of more trouble. 

The anger and frustration builds up inside me and there is one person here that I can focus it all on. "What the fuck is your deal Glimmer. Why the hell did you bring him back to my room?" I say slamming the front door open as I come back in, causing a few of the girls hovering around to jump. Joanna steps out from the waiting room, eyes narrowed, quietly assessing the situation. Glimmer is leaning against the wall next to the reception window, arms beneath her back but her smug smile wavers the moment I charge her. I feel hands grab my shoulders and turn to see Delly and Madge holding me back before I get too close to her. Knowing I can't beat her down she plasters her smile back on again and just shrugs nonchalantly.

"I can't help it if some whores don't know how to keep their private life separate from their business life. He did ask for Diana Flynn, and I've heard you talk about this Gale before to these tore up bitches," she says indicating Madge and Delly. "So I thought you would think it a favor if I brought him back to you. He is your friend after all." 

My rage is too much for Delly and Madge to hold back and I break free, although the "tore up bitches" comment might have made them give in. Clove steps between the two of us giving a withering glare that stops us cold. "Come on Glimmer, cool it. You got what you wanted. Let's go." Glimmer flips her hair, defiant and playing off that I scared her, but goes in the direction Clove pushes her. 

"Katniss, for goodness sake what is going on?" Effie's comes up the hall from the kitchen, remnants of her breakfast still on her mouth and the other girls gather close, curious to hear what's going on. 

I run my shaky hand through my hair and gather my loosened robe. "It's Gale. Glimmer brought him to my room and he found out about me. I need to get back to L.A. now and do damage control but Rue has my car."

"That bitch!" Joanna screams and charges to the back room and I hear shrieks soon follow. The cacophony of sounds down the hall snaps Effie out of her stare down of she and me rushes back muttering to herself, "I should charge all of you the cost of hair dye I need to cover of the white hairs you give me." Darius closely follows, and I’m close behind them, but not to find out what is going on, but to escape to my room instead. I rush past all the other girls, ignoring their calls of concern so that I can get dressed and call Rue. 

_________________________________

"Please pick up the phone..." I slam my cell back on the dashboard after my umpteenth failed attempt to get a live person. Gale obviously refuses to pick up his phone, Sae never does and Prim's just goes straight to voicemail. With my luck she has run down her battery again. I see my exit ahead, making it to L.A. in record time, almost shaving an hour off, so I give up for the time being and concentrate on driving. 

At least Rue picked up her phone on the first try. Thresh and she was already on their way back, so they skipped dropping off for breakfast and came straight back to the Ranch. It was only 55 minutes for them to arrive but it was the longest wait I've ever had in my life. I just paced back and forth and ignored anybody who tried to talk to me. 

The one person who I couldn't ignore was Effie. She twisted her hands nervously as she reminded me that I had my first "Premium Client" appointment tomorrow in the afternoon and to be back by then so I wouldn't get in trouble with Snow. I wish I could forget that. The one saving grace is that Haymitch was in his bedroom probably still in an alcohol induced sleep. I pleaded with Effie not to not wake him up with any of this, what I didn't need was his input on all this, and I can just deal with him later. 

Once Rue and Thresh pulled up I was straight out the door not paying attention to Effie's answer about Haymitch. Rue hopped out, gave me a reassuring hug and a guilty look even though none of this was her fault. I gave her a small smile to make her feel better and took off. Of course it needed gas so that was another 15 minutes out of my damn life. 

I feel like every old person, delivery van and garbage truck on the planet pulls in front of me as I weave through the street traffic right now. I have a great urge to bang my wheel and scream, but I take a deep breath and try not to go crazy. Finally I get to Sae's house and my heart drops when I see Gale's truck in the driveway. 

"Please let me not be late." I chant to myself as I exit the car and run up the walkway. The door is wide open when I get there and I find the house to be oppressively silent. "Hello?" I call out and I am answered by Sae saying, "In here," in a rough voice. 

I turn left into the living room and I find Sae arms crossed, with a withering glare directed at Gale as she stares down on him. He in turn is sitting on the coach, his elbows on his knees with his face is in his hands and shoulders slumped forward in dejection. 

"Where's Prim? What happened?" I asked alarmed at her absence. Gale looks up ashen face before looking down, unable to look me in the eye. 

"Please, tell me what happen," I plead, already fearing the worst.

"Tell her Gale. She deserves to know it from you." Her voice is unyielding but when she finally looks at me there is deep sorrow and fear in her eyes that tells me everything. 

"I'm so sorry Katniss," Gale says not looking at me still. "I was so angry at you and Sae for keeping this from me, I wasn't thinking. I came in here and confronted her in the kitchen once I knew Prim was in her room. I didn't realize... I didn't realize that your grandmother and Mr. Crane were in the house. They heard everything."

My knees feel like jello, but Sae is there to put a strong arm around my waist and hold me up. "What happened next?" I croak out. He doesn't answer but just takes deep breaths. "What happened next!?" I scream.

"She pulled Prim out of her room and said we couldn't be trusted with her. She made your mom and her leave everything. I pleaded with her not to take her, but she had her body guards with her. I couldn't do anything about it. I'm so sorry Katniss."

"You fucking bastard!" I scream even harder before and I charge at Gale, breaking Sae's grip on me and I start to slap and hit him with all the power I have. Gale finally looks at me startled and stands to defend himself. He wraps his arms tightly around me so I can't move until I finally give up, slump in his arms and fight a losing battle for air so I don't cry. "Gale you just don't understand, you just don't..." but I have no words.

"I know Katniss, I know. Sae was setting me straight right now. I'm an asshole, please forgive me, I just wanted to get you away from there. Just don’t hate me. I love you." I just nod my head, numb from everything that's happened. I want to hate him, but I can't because really it's not Gale's fault. It all completely lies on my shoulders. If I had only told her sooner, if I only found another way to make money, so many "what if's" circle around me right now. 

The uneasy silence is broken by my cell phone and Gale let's me go as I shakily open my satchel to pull it out. I see it's Prim's number and I pick it up quickly.

"Prim are you..."

"It's Alma," a cold voice interrupts. She doesn't even say grandmother to me. "Come to the house immediately. I'm sure you know what this is about." She hangs up the phone without letting me give a single response. Gale and Sae look at me expectantly and I tell them who it was. 

"I'm going with you, no arguments," says Sae. I just nod my head, too numb to argue. We leave a stricken Gale on the porch and I continue to pray that some miracle will come out of all of this. 

___________________________

Cold fury. That is the only emotion I allow myself to feel right now as I pull up to the grandiose Coin mansion, taking in the imposing solid white walls that stretch ten feet high. What right has she to control our lives like this, like we are her marionette puppets to pull our strings at her will? I've always known since my long lost grandparents came back into our lives that no good could come from it. Anybody who would willingly throw their daughter off like they did, not even be there for her when she became a widow, could bring anything but bad. I hate being right, I hate that my distrust of other human beings was spot on, but at least I was not a trusting fool. I am prepared to fight for my sister. I need to feel this fury because it's the only thing keeping me going. 

Sae and I didn't talk at all on the way to their Brentwood hills mansion. She knows it's better to just let me be until we get through this. Not to mention she is also probably mentally preparing herself for what we both have to face. The entire drive she just quietly points the way to the house and only once at a red light did she say anything to me. She took my hand and rubbed it softly saying "We'll get through this Baby Girl," before letting it go again. 

I take a deep breath to steel myself then reach over to press the intercom next to the ornate iron rod gate that is the only entrance and a staticky voice asks me my reason for entry before I even have a chance to push it. Once I state "Katniss Everdeen to see Primrose Everdeen," since I refuse to have Alma be my reason for coming, the gates open with instructions to pull up in front of the entry. It is amazing how similar and yet different the Coin's house is to Plutarch's. Where his is gaudy with fountains, lights and fancy hedges, theirs is understated with a simple neat lawn and flower beds. But the houses are are similar in their stately grandeur, towering high in a way that speaks of the immense wealth of their owners. I knew my mother came from money, but only now does it hit me how much my mom gave up to be with my father. 

I pull straight up to the front like instructed and when Sae and I step out of the Jeep, waiting for us is what can only be security guard. He only nods his head and turns to walk up the stairs, talking in his ear piece saying "She's here, the old woman is with her too." That is the only indication I get that I should follow him. I stiffen my back, refusing to be intimidated, and I look over at Sae. She nods her head in confirmation that she feels the same way too. 

He guides us down a long hallway to the back of the building before he swings left and opens up double doors to a large luxurious sitting room. It's a type of room that only exists to impress visitors with the wealth of the owner and serves no purpose in comfort or warmth. It is more modern than I expected of her, I don't know why I thought she would be surrounded by antiques, but every detail, every piece of furniture is monochromatic without a single splash of color. I hate this place and I especially hate the woman standing in the middle of this room. Alma Coin stands as still as ever, but an anger emanates from her that she didn't display before. Seneca stands behind her obviously very angry but fear aals shines from his eyes. I almost don't see my mother sitting on a chaise lounge in the background, staring out a window, looking like a pale ghost. My grandfather is nowhere to be seen, but what I gathered from meeting him the one time he's happy leaving Alma to deal with me. 

"Where is my sister," I demand without a single greeting to the three people in the room. 

"You have no right to order me around young lady, or should I even be calling you that," Coin snaps back. 

When Alma Coin is in the room, the world always seems to narrow down to the two of us, everyone else just becomes blurry figures as our wills clash; and today is no different. 

"And I have nothing to answer to when it comes to you Grandmother, if I should even call you that." I answer back defiantly and her lips form a thin line, red blotches popping up on her face from contained anger. 

"You're right, a prostitute would be no granddaughter of mine," she answers, her tone cutting sharply in just the right way to inflict as much pain as possible. 

"Well I guess it's no loss on either side for us is there? Now bring my sister here."

"Seneca go get Prim," Coin orders, never breaking her eye contact from mine. Crane slips past me and quickly leaves the room without a moment of hesitation. The bodyguard is still close enough to Sae and I to remain a threat, and an uneasy silence falls over all of us. 

"Mother is this really necessary?" My mom asks in a small voice. A look of disgust flashes on Coins face as she looks over at my mother, before it becomes emotionless again. "You have barely been welcomed back in this family Claire. You’re only good enough for what you can offer Seneca. I suggest you keep quiet." My mother bites her lip, tears forming in her eyes, and I almost feel sorry… almost. 

Soon enough the door opens and Crane comes back pulling a reluctant Prim by her arm, her face distraught and pale. When she sees me, she yanks her arm away and runs straight into my arms and I give her a tight hug, afraid they will pull her away from me. 

"Katniss is it true what grandmother says? Please tell me she's lying. Are you a prostitute?" She says the word prostitute in a whisper, like she’s afraid that saying the word loudly would make it true. 

"Why don't you tell her yourself Katniss," Coin says in a tone that is a little too smug and I swallow hard looking at Prim's confused face. 

Sae steps up and wraps her arms around both of us. "Tell her child, let the words come from you." she says softly to me, her words giving me strength. 

"It's true Prim. I've been lying to you. When I went away for three weeks, it's because I've been working in a brothel in Las Vegas to help make money." These are the hardest words I've ever had to say, this confession to my little sister. And when I see the betrayal darken her face as I reveal the truth, I confirm why I've been pushing it back for so long. She looks at Sae for confirmation and when she nods her head, Prim's knees weaken and I have to hold on tight so she just doesn't fall to the floor. I sit her down gently and I keep holding her as I see the tears start to stream down her face. 

"Why Katniss... why would you do this?" Her whole body shakes and my heart squeezes in guilt at what I have done to my sister. 

"I'm so sorry Prim. I'm so sorry. I was just trying to do whatever it took to make sure we survived. I thought it was my only option as long as you were cared for and happy. I would do anything for you."

"No Katniss." Prim says, her voice now sounding angry but she holds on tighter to me, her head resting on my shoulder. "You should have never done this for me. It's too much. Please don't put this on me."

"See what you've done to your family?" Coin cuts through. “Thread, take Prim to her mother.” Prim shakes her head and starts sobbing, but let's me go when Thread pulls her away and puts her next to my mother. My mother wraps her arms around Prim and starts shushing her, looking almost like the caring woman who raised me. "You are just like your good-for-nothing father, just trash, you only destroy," Coin continues.

I'm still sitting on the ground unable to move as Coin towers over me. "Don't speak of my father like that, he was a good man. He’s a better person than you’ll ever be."

"He was a worthless loser, just like you are. Look at my daughter. Did you know she was supposed to marry Senator Mellark before she ran off with him? She should be living in luxury right now, not a damn junkie. He brought this down on you, just like you will bring misery down on Prim. Like you will with everyone you love. You look just like him and I know you have his same defiant spirit. But I won't let that happen again, I won’t let you ruin her. She is special just like her mother used to be. I let you come here to make it clear that you will stay away from now on. I will do whatever it takes to make sure you stay away from what is mine. I am not letting you destroy her future like he did Claire's, you worthless piece of shit." With each word she steps closer to me where I sit on the floor. When she finishes speaking, she towers above me cold and imposing. Her words are full of hatred and rage, but are eerily emotionless. Her insults on my father are deeper blows than anything she ever could say about me. 

I'm pulling myself up from the floor, ready to defend him when Sae whips around me and slaps Coin hard on the face, a loud smack ringing in the air. "How dare you say that about this beautiful girl. YOU are the worthless scum." She's ready to strike again but Thread grabs her around her waist and lifts her bodily up. 

"Get that woman out of the house right now and get more damn security!" Crane screams as Coin grabs her cheek, stunned. Sae struggles fruitlessly against the strong arms holding her as she threatens him with bodily injury. 

"Leave her alone!" I yell rushing towards Sae, but two more security guards come in and hold my arms, preventing me from helping, and I can hear Prim scream "Noo!" in the background. Sae disappears out the door with the slam of the door and I yell in frustration since I'm completely helpless to do anything. 

"You bitch. Why don't you just leave us alone," I say to Coin as I struggle to break free. "I can take care of Prim and my mother. I've been doing it all these years without you. We don't need or want you." I know I am fighting Goliath, but I needed to say it.

Coin just scoffs at me, dismissing my defiance, but at least I get a small amount of satisfaction seeing a bright red mark blossom on her cheek. "You are the one who is not needed or wanted. Nobody wants a prostitute around them to sully their own reputation. You're worthless and your family is far better without you."

"Grandmother please don't say that. It's not true," Prim says through her sobs as my mother holds her before I can say reply. 

Coin strides up to her and firmly grips her shoulder. "Now Primrose what did I say about answering back?"

"That it's rude and never to do it," she answers in a small voice. 

"That's correct. That is something your sister could learn. Now say goodbye to her." 

"No..." Prim says shaking her head. 

"What did we talk about earlier?" she whispers harshly to Prim, but loud enough that I still hear it. At the same time Crane comes up saying, "Do not put up a fight Katniss or that old witch of yours will find herself with assault and battery charges. And you know I won't bluff." I sag in defeat knowing he would do it and make sure to pull the right strings so that she suffered in jail. 

Prim rises shakily on her legs and comes towards me but stops a few feet away and doesn't look into my eyes. "Tell her," Coin says with triumph in her voice. 

"Goodbye Katniss," she says never looking up. 

"What else Prim?" Coin insists. 

"Prim please look at me. We can figure this out together. Don't listen to Coin. I love you," I plead with my sister. She looks up and takes a big breath. 

"Katniss, please leave here and never come back," she answers, sorrow in her eyes but her voice is firm and resolute, before she turns away and goes back into my mothers arms. My mother looks dazed and upset, her eyes full of apology but she says nothing to me, not even goodbye. My heart has broken into a million pieces and lies scattered on that sitting room floor. There is no fight left, there is no cold fury, there is only pain. My sister has turned her back on me and it's all my fault. The security guards lead me out the room without a further word spoken, but Crane follows close behind. I turn my head one last time to see Prim sobbing again before the door closes, shutting her away from me, possibly forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so it took a little long to update but this chapter was tough to write! But the next chapter is written and I hope to get it posted in a week after my beta reviews it. It will be rocky here on out, but it leads to the end of the story. Only a few chapters left. I thanks to the readers who have stuck with the story and given me encouragement.


	24. Better A Limb

There are many things I can do under pressure. I can light a fire with flint and kindle while winds howl around me, I know how to soothe an angry 6'4" beast of a man before he does any damage in the Ranch, and I can take a food order from 10 drunk college students at the diner without needing to write it down. But navigating a posh neighborhood after the second worst day of my life is beyond my abilities.

_"Common whore."_  
"Worthless loser"  
"You'll see how much pain I can give you." 

It's hard to figure out which direction to go when words and conversations are constantly battling in your head. All the insults thrown at me today remind me what a failure my life is and it is all I can do to keep myself together, let alone navigate a neighborhood I am unfamiliar with. I finally give up, pull over and lean my head against the steering wheel taking deep breaths of air. My brain is such a turmoil of emotions ranging from disbelief, anger and guilt that I can't even cry, and it's all I can do not to hyperventilate. 

Damnit Sae. I bang the wheel hard in frustration. And then I bang it again for good measure before taking out my phone again and try to figure out where the hell I am again in relation to the police station. After being kicked out of the mansion and screamed at by Seneca I was informed by security that Sae was arrested and taken in by police in the short time that we were separated. How could they do that to her? I'm sick with worry, and pissed beyond all reason, but this new emergency is at least keeping me from completely falling apart. 

I finally figure out where I am and to my relief the station is only a few blocks away. I put the Jeep back in gear and tear around the few remaining blocks until I see the building ahead of me. I turn into the first available spot, and rush into the building and head straight to the reception desk.

"I need to know if there is a Sally Hawkins here..." I say before the officer can even open his mouth. 

"Let me check," he says looking into the system. I try to wait patiently as I twist my braid in my hand and I hear a distinct husky chuckle that can only be Sae. 

"Sae? Is she back there?" I say craning my neck trying to take a peek into the back. 

"Sae? Well why didn't you just say that. Yeah, she's back there." The officer answers shaking his head, looking bemused. "Just walk down the hall and turn left at the first door."

I speed down the hall and sure enough, there she is sitting in a chair while two officers lean on a desk in front of her and chat with her like they are the oldest of friends. I should have fucking known. She turns her head and sees me and is up immediately and wraps me in her arms.

"Are you okay child? I was so worried about you!" she says squeezing me tight.

"Worried about me? Sae you were the one who got physically carried out and arrested!" My voice sounds shrill in a way it's never been before. I hear a chuckle behind me and see the officers she was talking to shake their heads.

"Child, you know never to worry about me. I can take care of myself. Boys, this my baby girl Katniss, the one I was talking about. Katniss, these are Officers Peterson and Jansen, the lovely men who took me in."

"Ma'am" They both say in unison and they each take turns shaking my hand. "You have a troublemaker here you do. She's been telling us some stories," Officer Jansen says with a broad smile on his face.

"Sae hasn't been arrested?" I ask confused.

"No ma'am," answers Officer Peterson, "She was taken in, but hasn't been formally booked."

"I was explaining to these lovely boys how excitable these rich people can be. Arresting old people for no reason. The nerve," she says innocently, smiling sweeter than Paula Dean. 

The look on their faces say they don't quite believe her story. "It doesn't look like they will press charges and she hasn't committed a major offense, so she is free to go anytime. Just make sure she stays away from the Coins." Officer Jansen says firmly, but there is still a twinkle in his eye. 

"Well thank you so much for taking care of me boys. Now you have to come by the diner and try that pecan pie. I just perfected the recipe and you'll find none better."

"We certainly will Sae. I'm certainly looking forward to it. It was nice meeting you Miss Everdeen." Officer Peterson says as I shake both their hands again and Sae gives both of them a hug. "And make sure you watch after this troublemaker!" Jansen says loudly, making the other officers in the room laugh just before we exit the room. 

"Well weren't those boys just lovely," Sae says when we exit the police station, as she waves to the officer at the reception desk.

I just nod my head in agreement. I should have known not to worry about Sae. I've never seen her not able to handle a tough situation. In fact slapping Coin was the angriest I've ever seen Sae. Usually she uses her natural charm to win people over with a smile and her sweet words; getting through the toughest of people. 

"Now let's go over there and talk," Sae says pointing to a park bench across from the station. I just nod my head numbly, letting her lead me. It's a clear, crisp January day in Los Angeles, the type where there is no clouds in the sky but the sun is too weak to give any warmth. A cold breeze riffles through the leaves, making me shiver. I'm only wearing a long sleeve shirt and jeans since I forgot to grab a jacket when I jumped out of the car. Sae wraps an arm around me and plops her large purse on her lap and starts looking through it. 

"Now I should have one somewhere in here... ahhh..." she mumbles to herself. "Take this," she says handing me a sugar packet. For the first time all day I give a small smile. Sae is a firm believer in a spoon of sugar whenever anything traumatic happens. Earthquakes, fights with boyfriends, a car collision - out comes the sugar packet. I obediently take it, and it might be a placebo effect but I find myself coming to myself a bit after I swallow. 

Sae gently takes one of my shaking hands in her weathered ones and squeezes making me feel like her hand is an anchor. "Okay child, tell me everything. What happened when I got kicked out and tell me everything you've been keeping from me. Leave no detail out."

I’m not ready to tell her what happened to Prim, so I start with what happened at the gala first. She knew all the details about Peeta, well except for the NC-17 part, but I tell her about Plutarch and why he wanted me there in the first place. This leads to all his plans, what Snow has been up to, my contract renewal and my agreement to help take him down. What's difficult is telling her that I signed up for two more years at the Ranch and seeing the disappointment in her face. When I tell her Rue's secret, she nods her head in understanding and holds me a little harder. Sae listens to everything without interrupting once, taking in details that she’s heard before and ones I had yet to tell her. The hardest part is when I get to what happened when she was taken out, so I close my eyes and just let it spill out. 

Actually talking about my worst nightmare come to reality makes me finally have the cry I've been holding since my run in with Gale. I can barely keep myself together as I tell her what Prim said, the betrayal I felt, and the pain I saw in her eyes. Lastly I go into what Seneca told me when I was escorted out of the room.

_“I can’t fucking believe that you let this secret out. I told you there would be repercussions. Coin cannot find out I’m involved with the Kitty Ranch. I cannot lose everything because of a worthless whore. Was threatening that old hag of yours not enough? How about I go after that precious Senator’s son you’ve been seeing. Don’t think I don’t know about that and don’t try telling me he’s just a client, I’m not stupid. I will destroy him. I will destroy everything you love. I promise you that your sister is disgusted with you and will never want to see your face again, so don't even try to contact her. Now fucking disappear like the roach you are and never come back. Never step a foot into Los Angeles again, there's nothing left for you here. The only thing you're useful for is your open pussy.”_

I open my eyes and look over to Sae to see her reaction. Tears are slipping down her eyes but her lips are tucked in a firm line. "My poor babies," she says as she wipes her tears away. 

"Katniss, look at me," Sae says firmly, grabbing my face in her hands and pulling it towards her. I wipe my eyes on my sleeve and look into warm brown eyes. "Don't judge Prim's actions too harshly. That girl loves you more than anything in the world; and her whole world has changed in a short amount of time." 

"You didn't see her Sae. It was everything I've feared I would see in her face. Disappointment, anger, hurt, betrayal. The worst was that her expression was resolved when she was saying goodbye. It was a look I've seen countless times when she is set on something." 

Sae doesn't say anything, knowng there are no words of comfort she can give me and there are no lectures I haven't already told myself. I know she is feeling the loss of Prim as acutely as me because she's always been Sae's sweet baby. In the silence that follows, we just sit for a few minutes watching the trees sway from the big gusts of winds that blow through them.

"So are you doing it? Are you working with Heavensbee Plutarch to expose those bastards?" Sae finally asks after a few minutes. 

"Yes. Especially if it means I can make Seneca Crane pay in the process. But..." I answer with hesitancy making Sae look at me sharply. 

"What is it? It's that boy of yours isn't it." I nod, I can never hide anything form Sae, she always sees right through me.

"Crane threatened him, and he's not one to pull punches. I'm scared for him Sae. I know if I go through with this, if I expose Crane and Snow, the lives of those I care about would be in danger. Snow won’t just slap me on the hand and let it go. I know it's fast, but I love Peeta too much to lose him and I'm afraid with all this going on, that's exactly what's going to happen. He's already made huge life decisions just to be with me, a common whore. And I am afraid that he'll be hurt more by being with me. I can't handle that. I’ve already lost my sister, and it would kill me if something happened to him. What should I do?"

"Katniss, for one thing you have to stop with the "common whore" thing. You are so much more than that. As for what you should do, you can only go with your best judgement. I can't answer that for you. But there was a time I had to give up someone I cared about rather than seeing him get hurt. It was the best and worst decision I've ever made. What you are doing in that brothel to get rid of Snow and Seneca is dangerous and it's going to get a lot more complicated than easier if you go through with this. Are both of you ready to handle it? Especially since you have only been with each other for a few months? This would test the strongest of relationships." 

I don't answer her but I know she speaks the truth. Snow is a dangerous man, and once he realizes it's me who exposed him, I don't know what sort of retribution he will act upon. I shiver and not from the cold when when I think of what happened to Plutarch's son. Would that be Prim, or Peeta or Sae? If I do go through with this, he is just one more person I have to worry about getting hurt. At least in the fortress that is the Coin's home, Prim would be safe. Running away with him just seems like a damn fairytale now. What if he realizes how fucking damaged I really am and feels trapped being with me? Do we really know each other enough to deal with all this together, especially since we've only been together a few months? And it's been far from a normal relationship. Is it really worth the risk for him? I hate doubting us, but it's just all too much right now, and I don't think I can take anymore loss. 

I make a silent decision and pull away from Sae's warmth. "Let's get out of here, I can't stay out here forever." 

"Help an old woman up," Sae answers, and I pull her off the bench to a lot of sighs on her part. We get into my car and don't speak any further all the way back to her house, each of us deep in our own thoughts. When I pull up I tell her I can't stay and there is no point in just hanging around. She looks like she is about to argue but she ends up just nodding her head instead. 

"Can I ask you something?" She suddenly says and I lift my eyebrows in response. "How did you get Crane to talk?"

I can't help the sly smirk that raises ever so slightly on my face. "Crane's been my customer long enough so that I know exactly how to push the right buttons. I got him drunk off his ass and then slipped him some E with my tongue. Had him singing like a bird. Didn't even have to sleep with him, thank god. Best part is he blacked out and didn't remember a thing the next day." My small smile leaves when it hits me that the only thing I seem to be good at is being manipulative in the bedroom. Everything else I just fuck up. I wish I never found out this "talent". 

Sae sees my darker thoughts flit through my expression and gives me one more loving hug awkwardly over the Jeep's consul. "You know it's going to be okay in the end sweet girl. You've always been able to make things work, and I don't doubt you'll do it again. And don't worry about Prim, I will watch over her, even if I have to haunt the Coins."

"Thank you so much Sae. I don't know what I'd do without you" I answer back. She leaves the car and walks slowly up the walkway. As I pull out, she waits on her porch, waving at me until I am completely out of view. 

__________________________________________

I'm eerily calm right now despite everything that has happened. I feel like I should be crying in a corner, pulling my hair out, but that's not me. I do what I do best - shut down. Alcohol isn't even necessary right now, I feel so damn numb. I wish I could stay in this limbo state, pretending that I don't have to deal with the reality of all my fucking mistakes.

At the moment I feel more safe and relaxed than I actually deserve to be and it's because I'm in Peeta's loft. I feel like I'm home. I was relieved Tia Mags wasn't working today or might have broken down seeing her warm friendly face. Luckily the staff all know me know so I was easily able to get the spare key and now I'm curled up in his bed, only in my underwear, lying in the dark pretending everything is okay. I feel like nothing can harm me here as I hold on tightly to his pillow, taking in his scent. It's the reverse actually, he should be staying away from me but here I am waiting for him to come home. A tear leaks down my face and I wipe it away. I guess I am not as numb as I thought. 

In the distance I can hear the dull whoosh of cars speeding down the freeway, the unending sound of the cars melding together as people go to their destinations. It starts lulling me to sleep when I hear a car drive behind the bakery and the slamming of the door. He's home. 

He must know I'm here because my old jeep is so recognizable but he doesn't bound up the stairs like I thought he would. Instead it seems like it takes forever for him to come up the stairs and unlock his door. I might just be imagining it but I can almost hear him let out a slow breath and then the door swings open. 

"Katniss?" I hear him ask as he peers through the dark room trying to find me.

"I'm over here," I answer in a soft voice not bothering to lift my head from the pillow I'm hugging. 

I follow his movements as he walks towards the bed, not bothering to turn the main lights on. The only illumination comes from a dim lamp next to the couch and it barely reaches his bed. He slips off his tie as he approaches me and throws his jacket on a chair as he passes by. His eyes stay connected with mine as he does this, his movements are slow and measured like he is afraid to startle a feral animal if he moves to fast. And then I realize it, he knows. I don't know how, but he does. Why wouldn't he find out? I'm sure everyone is talking about what a collassal idiot I am.

Soon Peeta has peeled off all his clothes except for a white tank top and boxers and he opens up the blanket and slides in next to me. 

"Katniss is everything okay?" he asks putting his warm hand on my face. My only anwer is to just shake my head and I see pity shining in his eyes. I hate that.

"How did you find out?" I whisper. 

"Does it matter?" he answers evasively and I'm too worn to fight it. "I just need to know that you are okay," he continues. 

"Please tell me what happened?" he starts to say but I don't want to talk about it so I lean forward and kiss him hard before he continues with his questions. He is startled at my sudden movment, after being so still, so his lips are stiff at first. But I continue, licking the seam of his lips until he opens his mouth and soon his tongue is tangling with mine in the most delicous way. I let out a sigh into his mouth as I pull our bodies closer together and insert my leg between his. God, he feels so right in my arms. 

"Katniss tell me how I can make things better for you," he finally manages to say once we break apart to catch our breathes. 

"This, what you are doing right now. This is all I need." I say pushing him on his back as I straddle him. I pull up his tank up and I bend down to take one of his pink nipples into my mouth, licking and sucking it. When I look up after biting down, I'm satisfied to see his eyes roll back and he lets out a soft moan. 

"Please Peeta, make me feel better," I say rocking on his growing hardness. Peeta's eyes snap open and he gives me a piercing look as he grabs my hips. His fingers dig into my flesh as he rolls me onto my back before I can protest. He swiftly pulls off his tank and unsnaps my bra and they are thrown behind him. There is a dark intensity in his eyes that I haven't seen in a long time and I find myself getting lost in it. I reach to rub his hardness through his boxers, and he slides his hand between my thighs. Peeta deftly slips his fingers underneath my damp panties and starts stroking my slit, never breaking eye contact. 

"Yes..." I hiss. This is all the encouragment he needs and he suddenly pulls hard on my delicate panties and tears them off. Peeta pushes down his boxers until his hard glistening cock bounces free. I know I must have a greedy look in my eyes as I take it in my hand and stroke it, sliding the pre-cum around to coat his entire length, making his whole body shudder over me. I shift my pelvis so that he is at my entrance and I wiggle my hips to encourage him to claim me.

"God Katniss, what are you doing to me?" Peeta says before he plunges hard into me and we both groan as he clutches my ass, making sure he goes as deep as he can go. He stays still for a moment, and I know he is relishing the feel of himself inside of me as much as I enjoy being connected so intimately to him. 

He feels so damn good, like nothing I've ever felt with anyone before. A tear seeps out of my eye at the joy and sadness of finally being with him again and I'm relieved it's too dark for him to really see my face. I clench around him, encouraging him to start moving and Peeta takes the hint and starts snapping his hips. At first he takes long steady strokes but he quickly starts pushing into me hard and fast. So hard actually that I can feel my whole body shift up. I reach behind me and grab the headboard of his bed to keep my head from banging into it. Peeta is still gripping my ass, his fingers digging in and never letting go. 

His eyes keep flicking back-and-forth between where we are connected and my bouncing breasts. He finally takes one nipple in his mouth and he tugs at it with his teeth, making me clench around him more. He slams into me harder than ever, and my whole body starts to buzz with my oncoming orgasm. Peeta grabs a pillow to my left and swiftly puts it under my ass and the angle is exactly what is needed to hit the right spot. "Fuck!" I yell out as my orgasm catches me off guard. My whole body shakes at it's intensity as I grip the bed harder. Peeta only gives a small satisfied smile as he never stops his brutal thrusts. My body doesn't want to cooperate anymore, still quivering beneath him, while I try to hang on for dear life. 

"This is not over Katniss," he says in a commanding voice and he reaches down and strokes my sensitive clit. I start keening as he applies more and more pressure on it. I feel the heat building in my body again when he suddenly pulls out and gets out of the bed. Before I have time to even ask what the hell he's doing, he flips me over and pulled me to the edge of the left side of the bed bed so my feet are dangling on the side. I turn my head to see he has shed his boxers and the lamplight coming from outside highlight the contours of his body in the best way. 

"Grip the other side," he orders, and I do as he says. He slams back into me, standing behind me and he grabs my hip with one hand while he reaches around and begins his punishing pressure on my clit again. The sound of his pelvis smacking my ass echos in the quiet room intermixed with our harsh breaths and moans. I try to maintain my grip onto the edge of the bed as my entire body slides foreward, the movement of skin against fabric electrifying my already hyperactive nerve-endings. I can feel myself clench around him as the hum in my body deepens. 

"You will come again," Peeta orders as his fingers clench me harder, sure to leave proof of our lovemaking. True to his words my second orgasm rips through me and I can't help but scream his name. 

Peeta finally let's go inside of me at the same time and pinches my clit hard causing the tremors to keep echoing. He stays inside me for a few minute as I just stare out the window and try to get my bearings. He strokes my damp head and back before he pulls out and I feel the semen seeping out of me. I hear him walk to the bathroom as I lie there motionless and he comes back to gingerly wipe me clean. I feel sore and bruised, but I also feel like Peeta has just claimed me. He stamped me as his own tonight in a way no man has before or will ever be able to do. Once he's done wiping me, he throws the cloth on the floor and gently moves my body so it's fully back on the bed. He climbs behind me and wraps me in his arms and I interlace my fingers with his. I clutch onto them like they are a life line, but I have to let go. As much as I want to, we can't stay like this forever. 

"This is your way of saying goodbye isn't?" he says in a broken voice. He knows me so well now, we don't even have to speak to know each others intentions. 

"Yes." I am barely able to say it aloud because it so far from what I want. I didn't know what I intended when I first came here. Sae's words echoed in my ears but all I wanted to do was to take comfort in him. But when I saw him come in I knew I had to let him go. 

My problems are my own to solve. I will never respect myself if I got him involved and potentially harmed him in the process. Hurting the ones I love has to stop now. Especially as I don't feel worthy of the love he is so open to give me. It is still hard to believe this is the same man who was so closed off when I first met him. At least I helped him with that. Now that his heart is open he can find someone who is worthy of the love he has to give and be happy. I don't think I can provide that for him. I'm too broken, I'm too dirty. 

"I'm sorry Peeta. I'm so sorry but I can't be with you," I say trying to hold back my tears. 

"No don't say it. Don't say I'm sorry. Whatever the hurdles, we can do this together," he answers fiercely.

"No Peeta. I am just going to hurt you. You only will be unhappy if you're with me. This was a mistake," I say pulling away from his arms and getting off the bed. He just sits up and looks at me, not attempting to get close. The hurt in his eyes looks so identical to when I had to admit to Prim I was a prostitute that I have to turn away, so I pick up my clothes and put them back on. 

"Don't ever say we were a mistake Katniss," he says harshly. "No matter what happens, this will NEVER be a mistake to me. You will never be a mistake."

I wish I could believe that but right now my whole life feels like one big fucking mistake. "I've, I've got to go. Don't come back to the Ranch. Don't try to make an appointment with me, I'll have Effie send one of the other girls to you." I say as firm as I can as I pick up my keys and bag. 

I finally look at him again and his face is hard and unyielding. I think he finally sees me for what I am. He is ready to let me go. I walk to the door and part of me wants him to argue, to force me to stay, but he doesn't. His face just flickers with hurt and anger as he sits naked on the bed. 

Just as I'm about to exit out the door I turn around, I can't help but request one thing from him. "Promise me you won't go back to doing that for your mother. You deserve better than that."

"I deserve you Katniss. You. Remember what I said, this is not over." His eyes pierce mine from all they way across the room.

I shake my head adamnatly. "You deserve better than me."

I run out before I am compelled to run back to him. I run down the stairs as fast as I can and jump into my car. It's better this way I keep telling myself over and over again but not quite convincing myself that it's the truth.

_____________________________

The trip back to the Ranch is far faster then the drive from it. Not only are there virtually no cars on the road so late at night, but there is nothing for me to be anxious for, the worst has already happened. It only takes a little over three hours driving and it was the first time in two days I felt like I had some clarity. Driving on the pitch black road, all my windows open, letting the wind blow away the clouds and confusion circling my mind felt cleansing. I felt like an empty vessel and a sort of peace settled over me as I saw my next steps laying before me. 

When I pull into the parking lot, there are only the cars of the girls and a couple of clients. It was almost four a.m. so mostly everyone was done for the night. 

"Where's Haymitch and Effie?" I ask Bristel who is watching the reception desk. 

"They both retired about an hour ago," she answers, a question in her eyes wondering what happened when I left, but she doesn't ask. I notice she looks so much more grown up now than before; the last few weeks here having changed her.

I will just have to deal with Haymitch tomorrow before I leave.

I walk down the quiet hall and I can hear the twitter of voices coming from the girls common area so I decide to see what's going on. There gathered are all my girls, Rue, Joanna, Delly, Madge, Annie and even Clove all sitting on the beat up couches, barefoot and heels kicked up on the coffee table. Annie is telling the girls how Finnick wants to take her to a private island to have some quiet time away from the media where they can get to know each other better. The girls are obviously all excited for her and they look relaxed and happy as they chat about the future. It makes me glad that at least something is working out alright.

"Katniss! How are you! What happened?" Madge says when she sees me leaning against the door frame. They all sit up and look at me expectantly, the room quieting down immediately.

I try my best to give a reassuring smile as I sit on the couch arm next to Rue. "I got to Gale in time and I talked him down. Everything is going to be okay," I lie. 

Telling the truth will only bring up a lot of questions I don't want to face and I don't need to trouble the girls with all my problems. Joanna is sitting on the other couch, leaning on Delly and her eyes narrows on me. She always knows when I'm lying but she doesn't say anything. 

"Well that's a relief. I've been worried all day," Rue says smiling up at me. I brush her hair out of her sweet face and smile down at her. 

"What are you doing up anyway little sparrow. You should be getting your rest." She rolls her eyes at me like Prim would but breaks into a bigger smile. 

"Well I was waiting for you silly. And I was packing anyway." She turns to the other girls and addresses everyone a little louder. "Not to take any thunder away from you Annie, but Thresh and I are leaving tomorrow before Snow changes his mind about my contract. I want to thank you all for being such a great support all these years and I'm going to miss you all."

All the girls jump up to exclaim their congratulations and give her a hug. "Well this is a cause for celebration!" Delly exclaims and she goes to the fridge to grab the remainders of a boob cake and champagne from a bachelor party. She pours out even portions in plastic cups and hands them to everyone.

"No thank you," Rue answers shyly. And Delly's eyes pop open in surprise. "There is something I haven't told you all," Rue says and everyone hushes up to hear her. "I'm pregnant. I believe it's when Thresh and I got a little too carried away during Thanksgiving and I was a little too neglectful. He says whatever happens he's going to love the baby anyway." All the girls start clapping and go in to hug her, congratulating her. I stand back and watch everyone celebrate trying to enjoy my friend's happiness while I push away my own pain. 

"You knew she was pregnant didn't you?" I jump not realizing Jo had slipped so close next to me. All the girls are too preoccupied talking about the baby and the plans Annie and Rue have when they leave to notice us. 

I nod my head and she motions for me to step a little back from the girls so we can talk. We settle next to the doorway and I speak in a low voice so the girls don't overhear. "You know how Snow feels about those 'inconveniences.' What he's made the other girls do who wanted to keep their own. It's their choice to make, not his." 

Joanna nods her head, and her eyes narrow in hatred but I know it's not entirely directed at me. "I was wondering why you were so brainless as to sign that 2 year contract. You didn't even tell Annie and Rue what you did, huh? I guess you're not as stupid as I thought."

"You signed that contract too!" I say pissed at her judgement of me. 

"I have nothing out there for me that I care about," she says but I see her eyes flit longingly at Delly with a desire I know too well. 

"It's only a piece of paper. Snow has no hold over me. He lies and cheats us, I'm just returning the favor. I never planned on honoring another contract for that man." I answer back in a fierce whisper. "Things change, situations change. I should know. And I will bring him and Seneca down to their knees." My voice cracks at the last part, thinking of the past 24 hours and Joanna's eyes soften as she looks at me. 

"All those manipulative bastards think we're stupid. They think it's easy to use us and we're too dumb to do anything but bend over and take it," she answers. "That is their biggest mistake, taking us for granted. Taking you for granted Katniss. They're morons." I know that Joanna cares for me as a friend, but for the first time I see respect in her eyes.

I don't say anything and we just stand in the corner watching the girls chat and smile, taking comfort in each others silence while we sip our champagne. "So did you tell blondie why you signed the 2 year contract?" she asks after a few minutes. I just shake my head no.

"That's a big risk you know, he might not understand," she says, trying to read me. I just shrug and try to act like I don't care. 

"It doesn't matter anymore," I say curtly hoping she gets the hint to drops it and I see understanding dawn on her face. She looks around and sees the happy faces of the girls and I can see her make a mental decision not to continue on that topic.

I could leave it there but I'm compelled to say one thing. "It's my own battle to fight anway. I don't need him to be the White Knight who rescues me. That's not why I love him." I don't think I've really told anybody else that I love him and it's nice to say it out loud just once. What is left unsaid is that I foolishly dreamed of leaving with Peeta once I extricated myself from Snow but seeing how I hurt Prim made me realize that I would only do the same to him, and it was a fool's dream. 

Uncharacteristically Joanna wraps her arm around my waist and puts her head on my shoulder. "You know you're kind of a softy," I say nudging her head. 

"Shut up, or I'll make sure the girls know the scowl is an act," she answers, her hand snaking down to slap me on the ass. 

"Well we better go celebrate with the girls before they wonder why the hell we are being so fucking moody in the corner." She gives me a wet kiss on the cheek and we go to be with our friends one last time before everything changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sugar packet was inspired by my own grandmother. She would make us take sugar when any trauma happened. 
> 
> And it tore my heart with the Peeta and Katniss scene!
> 
> It looks like there will be four chapters left. I never intended this story to be so long but I'm sad that it's almost over now. Thanks for all the support.


	25. Whores & Whoremongers

"Come on Jo, get your ass in gear! We have to meet them on the Casino floor in five minutes and we’re going to be late!" I yell out as I hang my big gold hoop earrings in my ears. 

"Hold your damn horses White Rabbit, it's not like this is a very important date. I'm almost done, anyway." I roll my eyes knowing she’s probably just pushing her ample breasts higher and I crane my neck to see that I'm correct. Her black corset has her boobs almost to her chin and she's adjusting them so they are even plumper. If Jo is one thing, it's committed to her job. She has coupled her corset with tiny leather shorts that show her ass cheeks at the bottom and the thin silver point of her stilettos look like they could take an eye out.

I check myself in the mirror one more time to see if I’m missing anything but I look exactly how a high paid prostitute in Vegas should look like. Large hair almost down to my waist - check, smokey eyes and plump red lips - check & check, sparkly gold halter dress with a plunging neckline almost to my navel that barely covers my ass - check, and gold gladiator heels - check. God I hate myself. I couldn’t even imagine Prim’s expression if she saw me like this, probably would laugh her ass off or give me a look of horror. I can’t believe Peeta ever saw something beyond my trashy exterior; that he actually found something of value. I have to squeeze my eyes shut for a moment so they don’t water thinking of the two of them; cursing myself for letting my thoughts go there. 

"Are you okay brainless?" Jo asks finally exiting the bathroom. 

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say waving her off. I open my clutch and pretend to look in it for something when I’m really rubbing my pearl between my fingers in attempts to feel stabilized. I don't know why but it's the one thing that keeps me grounded and pulls me away from the pain that's constantly in my heart. 

"Hey, last night and we're done with these limp dicked jackasses," Jo says rubbing my back, able to pull a little smile from me. I don't know how she does it but she's always able to straddle the line between comforting and crass. 

We exit the hotel suite and make our way to the high stakes poker tables where our clients are. They are our first Snow clients, and hopefully my last, because god I hate them. Limp dicks are right. They've been too busy drinking and snorting coke to actually last more than a minute, not that I mind. In fact Jo and I have been encouraging it. I just have to last this one last client so that Snow thinks that I'm obeying him. 

As we weave our way through the crowds of people, I try best to ignore the crazy amounts of stares we are getting. Women look at us with disgust and/or envy while men practically can't hide the tents they’re pitching. We get so many offers and catcalls but Jo flips every one of them off while I choose to look straight ahead and ignore them. 

"Hey, Haymitch told me you need to make a decision, and I quote ‘sweetheart needs to let it go and stop being a bitch'," Jo says after flipping off yet another drunk college fratboy who tries to grab her ass.

"Haymitch can fuck off," I say, practically choking with the anger that I can't let go from because of our last encounter. I am completely done with him. After this is over I will be happy to never see that drunken asshole again. 

"What the hell happened Kat? I know you've never gotten along with him, but I thought you two were always like a bickering family more than anything," Jo asks bluntly. 

"I don't want to talk about it," I answer sharply. Joanna is about to say something but we just round the corner of the high stakes gambling room and our clients wave us to come over when they spot us. We instantly plaster on our plastic smiles as the giant security guard opens the red rope to let us in. 

Mr. Kovac and Mr. Merrick immediately descend upon us, praising how sexy we look. My client, Kovac turns me around, grabbing my ass roughly before he he pulls me into a rough kiss, all tongue and teeth. Once he releases me I plaster my smile back on trying desperately to hide how disgusted I am at this Armani wearing, slick haired guido who reeks of whisky, cigars and pot. I hope I'm at least marginally imitating Joanna who is pure professionalism and has her client practically eating out of her hand as she wraps herself around him. 

I never wanted to do the escort thing. It was easier letting them have me for an hour without the extended pretense of actually liking them for hours on end but I only have myself to blame for this situation. I guess I’m doing an okay job of pretending that he is the best thing on the planet because he soon turns back to the gambling table with a big smile on his face, making sure that we are practically joined at the hip. But then again, does he really even care that I'm faking it, most definitely not.

I wanted more than anything to just leave the Ranch with a big screw you to Snow, but it was better to do what he wanted for now. I need to make sure Rue and Anne are long gone before I break my contract and make sure Snow is complacent about his position, not realizing his foundation's crumbling. Damn Haymitch and Plutarch for making me rethink my plans.

While our clients are throwing a college tuitions’ worth on the craps table like it's change in their pockets, I mentally check out, while doing my best smiling barbie doll impersonation to please my client. I can't help but go over my last conversation with Haymitch and my stomach clenches thinking about his admission. 

After that awful day when I left Peeta, on the drive back to the ranch I had a lot of time to think about the string of events in the last few months that got me to this point. There just seemed to be too many damn coincidences and then as I laid in bed after saying goodnight to the girls, it all seemed to click into place. So the next morning before anybody else was up I paced the hall in front of his Haymitch's bedroom until a pajama clad Effie emerged and I swept past her and slammed the door. 

"Came back for a third round?" he said rubbing the scruff on his face, eyes barely open as he sat up in bed, apparently not aware it was me who entered. He practically had a beard now, it had been so long since he shaved, and his rough hand sounded like it was rubbing sand paper. When there was a muffled sound of Effie's huff of indignation on the other side of the door, he looked up at me with curiosity but no other emotion played on his face.

"Why don't I think it's coincidence that Seneca met my mother through the Coins?" I lobbed at him like a grenade. His face instantly blanched, and I took grim satisfaction that I was correct. He swung his legs out of his bed and walked to the dresser to get a whisky bottle that was sitting on top of it. 

"Fuck. Look you got to understand Katniss..." he said after taking a swig. 

"No, Haymitch. You can't talk down to me this time. Just tell me now, why did you have to do this to me? I trusted you." My voice vibrated with barely contained anger. 

I could see the debate raging in his head before he answered, and everything spills out like a confession. "It was Plutarch's idea. He looked into your past when I told him Seneca was your regular and he found out you were related to the Coins. He’s always a man one step ahead of everyone and he saw your stubbornness as a potential threat for getting in the way of his plans. He gambled that your desperation to get rid of Crane when he was involved with your family would push you to action. After that it was not that hard for a man like him to string those connections." 

"Yeah, he gambled and I lost." I said bittterly.

"Things not go well in L.A.?" he asked and I could see the guilt lining his face. 

"What do you think would happen once the Coin's found out about me? I lost her Haymitch." I can barely get the words out without my voice cracking and I'm pissed at myself. I can't have him hear my weakness.

And then I see that same damn pity I saw in Peeta's face. "Katniss, I'm..."

"No, I don't want to hear it. " I said with as much force as I possibly could. "You are a drunken asshole and a coward. I will never forgive you for this. The two of you had no right to play with my life."

Haymitch shut off the guilt on his face and in a split second it was his usual mask of indifference. "You don't have to like me Sweetheart, but you know it's best to go forward with the plan."

"I don't have to do anything Plutarch or you want me too!" I yelled back so harshly it hurt my throat. 

Haymitch sighed and just looked weary and impatient with me. "At least give me the video so we can get this over with," he said, bottle in his hand.

"No. Not right now. I am still employed at the Bunny Ranch, if you haven't forgotten and one of Snow's clients is coming for me in a couple of hours. It will give me time think if I still want to help you bastards, and in the meantime you two can rot in hell!" With that I turned around and left his room, not giving him a chance to answer, and never looking back. He didn't call me or follow me and I was picked up two hours later with Joanna for our first premium clients. 

Now I am in Las Vegas, ready to be done with my client, still full of anger and frustration. Haymitch and I have always had a rocky relationship but I didn't think he'd ever go that far. I thought he was someone I could trust. But I was wrong.

"Hey baby, there is a club I want to take you too that we have a VIP table at," Mr. Kovack says hotly in my ear as his arm wraps tightly around me, fingers digging into my hip. I feel like I'm suffocating but I just nod and smile. He has VIP entries everywhere but that means absolutely nothing to me. As if she is listening to my thoughts, Joanna gives me a tiny eyeroll that only I would get, and it does the trick to get me breathing again. I open my purse and touch my pearl one more time before we leave the gambling room and head off to "enjoy" the rest of our night. 

__________________________________

"Katniss, get up, come to the living room quick before the show comes back from local news!"

"What the hell?" I whisper fiercely rubbing my tired eyes. Besides the thin stream of light coming from the bedroom door, it's pitch black in the bedroom, but that means nothing because the blackout curtains are shut tight. I look over at the clock and groan at the time. 

“Damn it Jo, It’s 7:20 in the goddamn morning. I’ve only had two hours of sleep,” I whisper to her. Well technically I wasn't really sleeping but just lying there staring at nothing, but she doesn't know that.

"Come on! Get your ass in gear!" She doesn't even bother to whisper as she starts tugging my arm.

"God Jo, could you keep it down? Kovac is sleeping," I look over to his sleeping form as he lies on his stomach, head turned away from me but his arm is across my stomach, holding me tightly with his fingers digging into my breast like I'm his teddy bear. I slide as quietly as I can from his tight clutch and sit up, pulling the sheet with me to cover my bare breasts. 

"Really Katniss, you're covering up from me? Please," she says rolling her eyes. And I feel my face flush. She is very much correct that modesty and me have parted ways long ago so I drop my sheet as she continues. "And Kovack is just like Merrick, blacked out from too much alcohol and drugs, they won't wake up until the day is almost gone," she says plopping next to me and bouncing on the bed to prove her point. He just grumbles in his sleep and moves away, making Joanna give a wide self-satisfied smile. 

“Now, get your ass in gear now!” she exclaims pulling on my arm again and I give up and follow her out of the bedroom and into the suite's living area. I try to reach for my robe but she just gives me an exasperated look as she pulls me harder so I give up. I look back as I close the door and Kovack just snuggles deeper in bed completely oblivious that I am gone. 

“Why am I out here for?” I say wrapping a throw that is on the couch around myself and plopping down, staring at the flickering light of the T.V. All I see is a local newscast of the weather, nothing that is newsworthy. 

"Just wait and you'll see for yourself, and then we'll discuss," she answers sitting heavily next to me and pulling her legs up and resting her chin on her knees. She is only wearing some lacy thong and the hotel air conditioning is pumping cold so I toss the blanket around us both. 

I fidget with the corner of the blanket, twirling it between my fingers as the local news turns into commercials and then finally turns into the national morning show America Today with Caesar Flickerman and Cladius Templesmith. 

"Really Joanna, this is what you wake me up for?" I look exasperated at her as they talk about One Direction performing in 30 minutes. Joanna just gives me a withering look and nods her head at the TV to keep on watching

"Now on to the Senator Mellark sex scandal we promised to cover before the commercial break," Claudius says with a gleam in his eye and I take a deep intake of breath at the name. Joanna just nods at me before turning back to the television. "Mitchell can you please tell us more?"

"Behind me as you can see is the infamous Nevada brothel the Kitty Ranch, just outside Sin City Las Vegas. Supposedly this brothel is where the scandal has taken place." The reporter to my horror is indeed in front of the Ranch, where there are also several other news vans. 

"Shit," I mutter, and Joanna just nods her head. "Video has been leaked by an unnamed source of Senator Mellark's youngest son and campaign advisor, Peeta Mellark, frequenting the Kitty Ranch. Here are photo stills of him outside the brothel with one of the prostitutes." I start biting my knuckle as another of my worst fears is playing out on national television. The grainy photos unquestionably show Peeta entering and exiting the ranch. One even shows him accompanied by Finnick. Another shows him smiling at me as we stand in front of the entrance and the worst shows us locked in a passionate kiss. They all obviously come from our own security system. 

"Shit." Now it's Joanna's turn to mutter that word and my turn to just nod my head as we are riveted by the television. 

"It looks like Peeta Mellark was a frequent regular at the Kitty Ranch, using the family's private jet to see Diana Flynn, supposedly one of the highest paid prostitutes in Nevada," the reporter continues. "There is no word yet if that is her real name but we are currently investigating. There are even reports he had a private party on New Year's Eve at the Ranch that was attended by several of Senator Mellark's staff. As you can see from the pictures Peeta Mellark's best friend actor Finnick O'dair also visited the brothel with him.

There is no word if the Senator himself visited the brothel or his two other sons. Although Nevada brothels are legal, there are calls to investigate the possible misuse of campaign funds. We have made calls to Senator Mellark's office but they are keeping silent. The owner of the Kitty Ranch, Coriolionus Snow released a statement to the press stating that the Kitty Ranch is a high end establishment and that they respect the privacy of all their clients and staff. I am sure more is to come out in this developing story. Back to you Caesar and Claudius."

Joanna clicks to the next station and they are just wrapping up their segment on the scandal as well. "Even if Senator Mellark is not implicated in the scandal, this is a huge political blow to a family who was gearing their son to start his own political career..." I reach over to grab the remote and click it off but inexplicably clutch it hard as my mind swirls with anger and confusion.

"What the hell is going on Katniss? Who the hell leaked those tapes to the press? What are you going to do?" Joanna says bombarding me with questions.

"What the hell am I supposed to do!?" I start by answering her last question. The last thing I ever wanted to do was to hurt Peeta and his family in a public way, damn it, I broke up with him to save him from this. But it all went to shit anyway. Angry tears flood my eyes as I feel helpless to save anyone I love from being harmed. I'm caustic. 

"Crane. It had to be Crane," I continue as I hug my knees tighter to me, rocking back and forth. "He threatened Peeta when I was kicked out of Coin's mansion. Snow could have given him the security tapes. 

"But why would he choose to do it now? The damage is already done with the Coin's knowing who you are," Joanna asks. She gets up and starts to pacing around the room, clearly trying to work things out in her head as much as me. 

"The Coins still don't know he was a client. He probably wants to fucking send a message to me to stay at the Ranch. He's burning my bridges for me. It's only a matter of time before the reporters find out my real name, and it means my old life, what was left of it is completely over." 

My mind is stuck in a loop picturing the number of different scenarios Peeta must be going through - the reporters surrounding his home, his parents' anger, and him cursing ever knowing me. The last scenario is the worst of all causing bile to rise in my throat picturing Peeta's face filled with loathing and regret that has turned into my worst fear. I have to get back to the Ranch, I need to talk to Haymitch. 

I jump off the couch to make my way back to the room and Joanna blocks me. I completely forgot she was there, I was so lost in my head. Joanna takes my hands and squeezing them hard, bringing me into the present. I look into her brown eyes and they are filled with determination. 

"No Katniss, you can't go now," she says practically reading my mind. She releases my fingers and her hands move to come the sides of my face firmly. "You need to finish this job first. Blow his dick, give him what he wants and we'll be back at the Ranch by the evening. The few hours extra won't matter. Don't let Snow have anything on you. Peeta is a big boy, he made his decisions, he can handle this." I can see remorse in her eyes at what she is saying but her eyes are locked on me unwavering. 

All I can do is nod my head and my shoulders slump. I know she is right. How much I want to rush out, it won't make my situation any better. Joanna let's go of my face and watches me as I turn back and sit back on the couch.

"Jo, you wouldn't happen to want to stay out here with me for awhile. I don't want to go back in there yet, I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway," I ask, hating the vulnerable sound in my voice.

"Definitely. It's a little known fact that I'm an excellent cuddler," she answers as she plops back down and puts her arm around me. I put my head on her shoulder and for the first time in days I finally let myself relax.

Three hours later I finally have the courage to go back into the dark suite bedroom. 

"Hey baby where did you go?" Mr. Kovac mumbles, turning around as I jostle him awake when I try to slip back into the bed. 

"I just went to get a glass of water," I answer and he just yawns and kisses my neck. 

“God, I can’t believe I have to let you go today,” he grumbles as he locks me back in his arms. "You are amazing, and totally worth the money." To my relief he is quickly back asleep while I just stare up at the ceiling wishing I knew how Peeta was feeling right now.  
_______________________________________________

I’m spinning in his chair around and around, staring up at the dirty ceiling, letting it blur until the world upends itself. Now I remember why I had so much fun doing this as a child, it’s a total high. The door creaks open and I plant my legs hard to stop the chair. The sudden halt of movement makes me nauseous for a moment and I put my head to my hands as I hear his dry chuckle.

“Are you trying to spin your problems away Sweetheart, perhaps find yourself in another universe?” Haymitch quips as he shuts the door to his office behind him. He must be under the impression that I'm no longer pissed at him, but it's very much the opposite. Not only am I still very much beyond unreasonably angry at him, I'm in an extra foul mood from having to fight through the reporters to even get into the damn building.

“Don’t call me that Haymitch. I don’t ever want to hear a term of fucking endearment from your damn mouth again,” I snap back lifting my head from my hands. Haymitch just snorts and gives me an unbelieving look as he crosses his arms and leans against the door. His eyes flicker to the flash drive resting on the edge of the desk, the only copy of what Seneca confessed in my room. But he doesn't make a move to pick it up.

"So Snow called me. He said the clients were very happy with Joanna and your performance this weekend. How did it go for you?" He said peering down at me. I'm pretty sure he's assessing my reaction to his statement.

"Cut the crap Haymitch. You don't care about how I did as long as I spread my legs and the money comes rolling in. Why don't we go straight to what you really want to talk about, and you go ahead and tell me how right you were. Do you want to rub it in that I should have given you the tape last week and avoided getting Peeta involved in all this shit?"

"Fuck Katniss I do care!" Haymitch says sounding exasperated and angry. "It means everything. It means Snow isn't coming to the Ranch to 'fix this'. It means that he's an egotistical ass who’s idiot enough to think this news leak was good publicity for the Ranch and we can go ahead with what needs to be done and end this."

He doesn't move from his spot at the door, but he looks like he can barely contain his rage. That's fine because I feel the same way. I should have figured that's all he cared about, to make sure I didn't fuck it up for his precious mission. "I did my job alright," I say crossing my arms tightly.

I can't look at him anymore. I can't stand to have him see the hurt in my eyes, for him to see how much he can hurt me. "The client was more than happy ok? Snow should get a good report from him. I'm everything you trained me to be," I answer bitterly.

Nevermind, I do want him to see how his betrayal makes me feel so I look him straight in the eye. He needs to see what he does to his puppets, because he is no better than Plutarch, or Snow for that matter. His head snaps back for a moment like I slapped him and his face softens for a moment before he closes off his emotions again. In it's place is a look of resentment.

"So here is your precious footage," I say tossing it to him, and he easily catches it with one hand. I'm surprised momentarily that his reaction time is so fast for a man filled with booze every waking hour. "Can I go now so you can take down the evil overlord?” I'm done, I’m disappearing when everything blows up and never looking back. No one needs me anyway. I can at least leave with the knowledge that I am taking down Seneca too.

I push my hands on the chair handles to get up but Haymitch is across the room in two strides and pushing my shoulder in a quick efficient move that lands my butt back in his chair, making it swing a little bit. I stare up at him defiantly, still clutching the chair arms. I'm waiting for it. I am waiting for that that final string that's pulled before they finally let me go.

"No it's not that easy Sweetheart,” he says emphasizing the last word stubbornly ignoring my declaration he never use that term of endearment again. “Plutarch likes to do things in style shall we say. You my girl, are an instant celebrity. People can't get enough of you and they are clamoring to hear what you have to say. There is no way he is not taking advantage of that." And there it is, exactly what I was expecting from them.

"What does he want me to do Haymitch?” I ask, still gripping my chair hard so I don't throw myself at him.

"An interview with Caesar Flickerman on his morning show, tomorrow. He's coming here personally to interview you. What better way to expose Snow than through your pretty little scowly mouth declaring it on national television." My eyes widen at the news, Plutarch works fast. I don't know why I'm surprised.

As if he could read my mind, Haymitch answers my unspoken question. "Plutarch has been biting at the bit to get that video from you. He's had this lined up for awhile. It's the perfect timing too because Snow is in Los Angeles which leaves him more vulnerable. Plutarch has been working with the DEA and they are ready to arrest Seneca and him tomorrow morning. Plutarch is almost giddy with the scandal to highlight this all.

"And what if I say no?" I challenge him, knowing that isn't really an option. Also, I have already decided to do it, and I have my reasons, but I’m not going to make it easy on him.

He sighs and rubs his eyes, taking a moment before speaking. “Well go ahead and say no. But don’t think Plutarch is going to lie down and let you get in the way of what he wants. He has waited too long for this opportunity. He can turn you from a victim of fate to an evil vixen in the eyes of the world just because you didn’t cooperate. And he wouldn't think twice about doing so if he doesn't get what he wants."

"And you're fine with that? Letting him do that to me? What do you have to get out of all this?"

Now it is his turn to cross his arms tightly. "For the greater good and all that shit. Now are you going to cooperate or what?"

I get up and push past him, feeling trapped in his tiny office with him. I don't want to answer him and give him the satisfaction so I ask him what's been running in my head since I got pulled into all of this.

"Why me Haymitch?" I'm so tired I can barely think. I don't even have energy to sound angry anymore. I just want to go to bed and never leave again, so I don't even bother to turn around when I hear his answer.

"You know you’re my best girl. I recruited you because you're a fighter and you're smart, not because how good you are at spreading your legs. Not that you aren’t talented at that too. Look I know Plutarch is shit, but this will work out. Just trust me on this."

"That's the thing, I don't trust you Haymitch," I say still not turning around, just staring at the old brass doornob that is underneath my palm. "But I'll do it. But I'll only take one question about Peeta, and that's final." I open the door and slam it behind me, taking a deep breath of air and head to the comfort of my room ignoring all the girls who want to talk to me as I make my way down.

____________________________________________

I stare at myself in the mirror, trying to decipher who is the person looking back at me. Is she a whore? A victim? An avenging angel? She is definitely not an innocent. She doesn't even know who she is anymore, but what she does look to everyone else is the girl next door who is your sex fantasy dream come true. That's at least what Plutarch instructed the stylists to make me look like and he succeeded. 

"Well what do you think?" Cinna puts his warm hand on my shoulder and looks at me through the mirror. I cover my hand over his and give it a squeeze. It's only him and me in my room right now, which is a rare break from all the craziness swirling around us. He knew I needed a moment to breathe and so he pushed everyone out for the final touches. Plutarch ever the observant one, decided to fly Cinna and his crew in to Vegas to work on me because he was impressed with his job at the Gala.

I look at myself over again in the mirror before I make my reply. My chocolate hair is completely out, falling down to my lower back in large loose curls. I have a light glimmering eye shadow, just enough to make me look like I know what I'm doing but it also makes my grey eyes pop out to show a hint of innocence. My lips have a dark pink gloss to make them look plump and inviting, but not so much that it looks like I'm trying. My yellow spaghetti strap dress flows around me conveying purity, but clings to my body enough to show that I'm a well shaped woman. I absolutely hate how I look.

"I look like everything that Plutarch wants me to be so I guess I look good?" Cinna gives me a wry smile and turns his hand over so he could squeeze my own in understanding. He's the only one who arrived for my big interview who knows the real me and there's no need for me to tell him how much I hate how I look. I'd rather either be in my old jeans, or be in my Kitty Ranch slut gear. None of this artificial inbetween b.s. But I am grateful at least it is Cinna who is styling me and I have his comforting support with me here. That is the only good thing Plutarch has done. 

"Everything is going to be alright. You know that right?" he says.

"No Cinna. I don't know that. You don't even know." There is no helping the bitter and hopeless sound in my voice and I know he can see right through me. 

"Why? What aren't you telling me Katniss?" he asks turning my chair around and kneeling in front of me. 

"Sae called last night. The Coins, they filed a restraining order. I'm not allowed within 100 feet of them or Prim. Neither is Sae. I don't think I'm ever getting Prim back, even if she wanted to come back. So no, I don't know how everything is going to be alright." 

I can feel the tears brimming in my eyes and Cinna takes a tissue and blots them before I can cause damage. I try unsuccessfully to smile and he takes my hands and squeezes them. 

"You are the strongest, smartest person I know. You wouldn't be my muse otherwise. And you will get through all this. You will find a way. I believe in you. You know I'm here for you right? Whatever you need."

"Damnit Cinna, don't make me mess up my makeup." I say wrapping both arms around him and getting a much needed hug.

Before he can answer I hear a knock on the door and one of the production managers pops his head in, I think her name is Messalla That doesn't sound right. "We're going live in five minutes. Is she ready?"

"She's ready. We'll be down there shortly." Cinna answers for me. 

"Now you know what you have to do Katniss. Don't be afraid." Cinna's warm eyes hold strength that makes me believe in my own strength. I pull myself up and smooth my dress down before opening the door. I am able to smile at him this time before I walk out and down the hallway. The girls are lined up, looking at me curiously and whispering. Up ahead I see the bright lights of the camera set-up in the front room and the bustle of people getting everything ready for my interview. I'm ready. I'm ready to open up my private life to the world, to be their spectacle. I'm ready to leave everything on the table. In the end I'm not doing it for Plutarch, or Haymitch or even the girls. I'm doing it for revenge because I have nothing else to lose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to explain the title. I live in San Francisco and there is an old black man in a bowler hat with a sign double his size who sits near the cable turn around. He yells out that woman who have sex before marriage are whores and men are whoremongers. It's pretty entertaining.
> 
> As for the chapter it's more of a bridge but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. I have been busy with work and then vacation but I am back on track with the story. Maybe I am just slowing down because I don't want it to end.


	26. Hello My Name Is...

“My real name is Katniss Everdeen, Diana Flynn is my pseudonym.”

The camera crew descended on the ranch at 3 am in the damn morning so they could be prepare for the East Coast live telecast. Lucky me, because now I'm able to see my pre-tapped interview as it airs on the West Coast. God, I hate how I look on television. Clearly I'm uncomfortable in my seat, like I'm sitting in a hard wooden chair in an interrogation room instead of on the comfortable leather couch that I am sitting on. At least my expression looks more determined than scared. I take a look around our lounge area and the girls are staring in rapt attention at the television, eating it up, absorbing every word I say like it's the defining moment of a soap opera. I don't know why I'm watching my interview, but I can't seem to leave the room and doubts pound my head as I wonder what everyone I know is thinking: Haymitch, Coin, Seneca, Peeta - just pick one. But at least that part is over. I said what I needed to and now it's just the agonizing wait to see what happens next.

This morning the VIP room was a whirlwind of activity when I stepped in. I found out the news station wanted to fly me to New York for the interview, but Plutarch wanted to keep me in the West Coast where he could keep an eye on me. And he always gets his way, so I found myself in a very familiar place for a very unfamiliar situation. I was actually grateful because I can't imagine being further from Prim than I already am. 

The room looked like chaos with cameras, lights and wires everywhere, except for the small area where we would be filmed which was perfectly set up. I was put on a black leather couch that was moved right in front of the strip poll that had an uplight to highlight it in the background. The room was made to look more moody and sexy than it already was with purple lights and dark velvet drapes that made me stand out like a canary in a coal mine in my yellow dress. Final touches were being made to my makeup and the lights as I looked around to see Caesar Flickerman was nowhere to be found. I suspected Snow's lavish bedroom was most likely made available for him to get ready. 

I practically jumped out of my seat when I heard Plutarch bellowing orders as he entered the room. He acted like he was the T.V. producer, and I could tell nobody was happy about that, especially the real segment producer. He was agitated and as close to nervous as I've ever seen him, even though he still had a fake smile on his face. But it was probably because his intricate plans were all in the hands of a whore, and he had little power at that moment with what I would say on live television. That was the one buzz of pleasure I had through this whole thing. It was my turn now and if I played my cards right Plutarch would be just as unhappy with me as I was with him before this thing was over. 

"All quiet on the set," someone in the crew bellowed just as Ceasar came in, a gaggle of assistants behind him. A smile was plastered on his face as he came directly to me and shook my hand. I tried my best to give a smile in return but I know it was probably more of a grimace as I shook his manicured, overly soft hand. 

"You are even more beautiful in person than all those pictures showed Miss Flynn," he said giving a quick glance over my body. "I hope you are ready for me!" he said, his teeth practically glowing with how bright they were up close. He seemed nice enough, but It was really hard to read him. I suspect too many years in front of the television had incased his real personality behind a thick shell of his persona. 

"I sure hope I am Mr. Flickerman," I answered, trying to be just as benign and fake but my voice warbled a little bit. He just chuckled before leading me to sit down with him. 

"Please call me Caesar," he answered warmly, for the first time looking genuine. "Don't worry, I won't bite. Plutarch won't let me!" He then gave off an airy laugh like I was in on his joke.

The news crew descended on us before I could respond, a flurry of movement as they set us up with mikes, did final touches on my hair and makeup, and adjusted my position on the couch. Before I knew what was coming, the countdown started for going live. I tried my hardest not to hyperventilate, concentrating on Cinna's calm encouraging face as he watched from the doorway. I actually tried too hard to focus on him because I completely missed hearing we were live, I missed Caesar's introduction and I barely caught the end of the first question. 

"What?" I asked dumbly as I realized Caesar was talking to me. He smiled, completely patient and asked again. 

"I know this must be overwhelming for you Diana. I wanted to ask you, how are you holding up with the sudden limelight thrust on you?" he asked. 

I took a deep breath before answering. "My real name is Katniss Everdeen. Diana Flynn is my pseudonym. And yes this is very overwhelming." I answer giving him a shy smile. His eyes only widened a moment in surprise and I could detect glee that he would not be fighting an evasive interviewee.

"So tell me, who is Katniss Everdeen? The world wants to know more about you," he asked. 

I steeled myself knowing it was time to put everything on the table. I tell him my entire past from growing up in a poor but in a loving household to losing my father. I tell him about my mother's drug abuse, the loss of our home and my eventual turn to prostitution to support my family. The whole time Caesar listened with rapt attention, giving the necessary questions, with that reporter look of understanding on his face. He knew that I should be telling the audience about Peeta, but I'm doing a convincing job of telling him a compelling story that he stays with it. 

"I just wish we had the support of our grandparents so I could have avoided this situation," I finished, not hiding my bitterness.

"Really? Where were your grandparents this entire time that they couldn't help your family?"

"My paternal grandparents were dead and my mother was disowned by her parents Albert and Alma Coin for falling in love with my father. They refused to help, even after he was dead."

Caesar's eyes light up immediately from this news. "Thee Coins? Largest landowners in Santa Barbara and Los Angeles county?" I just nod my head.

"So you are telling me one of the richest families on the West Coast denied their daughter because she was in love? And thus out of necessity their own granddaughter became a prostitute? That's just awful." Despite the words there is a gleam in his eyes that says that this breaking information is wonderful news for his career.

I nod my head and stutter out a yes, letting a couple tears of frustration and anger slip down my face. Telling my family's tragedies and failures is my worse nightmare, especially in front of a million viewers, but I do it for one reason and one reason only. The Coins. They robbed me of what is most precious to me, my sister. So I will rob them, I will rob HER of what she finds most precious of all - her reputation. I will get my revenge on Alma. Caesar's eyes widen in shock and sympathy as I give him details of how my grandmother cruelly cast out her daughter for falling in love with a man 'beneath her' and shut her doors to our little family, even when he died forcing us to fend for ourselves. Repressed memories of my mother resurface of her on the phone crying to her mother, begging for love and support after her loss only to have the phone call disconnected. That was first day my mother started taking drugs, after that one fateful phone call. I even tell about Alma finding out about what I do and rejecting me. I didn't realize how much it would hurt to describe how I was "bringing shame to the Coin name." The Coins may be rich, they may hide behind their fortress but now the world knows what type of people they are. No amount of donations to orphanages or benefit events for homeless shelters will change public opinion now. 

"Poor dear," Cesar said sympathetically as he put an arm around me and patted my shoulder. I let a few more tears from frustration and anger leak out. Let people believe it came from sadness, they'll eat it up. 

I can see Plutarch pacing in the background a frown on his usually jovial face. I can tell he is impatient to get on with it, he doesn't care about my story, but I didn't care and I love seeing him miserable. 

"I would do anything for the people I love Caesar," I said, my voice almost harsh with conviction. The producer indicates it's time for a commercial break and Flickerman knows this is the perfect time to switch topics. 

"Thank you for telling your story Katniss," he said with fake sincerity before he turned to the camera. "We will now break for commercials but after we will talk about the current scandal."

When the all clear was given, Plutarch immediately rushed to me, his face red with displeasure. 

"I did not assign you to this job to give a sob story of your life Diana. Keep to the damn program."

"Oh don't worry Mr. Heavensbee," I say completely unperturbed as Flickerman just watched with interest. "How am I going to get people on my side if they don't know my story first?" 

"We are on in 60," the producer warned and Plutarch huffed and turned away because he knew I was right. 

We are live in no time and Flickerman seamlessly turned the conversation to Peeta and Senator Mellark. 

"So tell me about Peeta Mellark, the person who got you thrust into the limelight to begin with. Is he one of those people you love?"

That man sure knows how to get straight to the point. I was prepared for him to ask what my relationship was with Peeta, but not to be so blunt about it. 

"Why would you say I was in love Caesar, since he is a client?" I said being evasive and giving myself more time to answer how I wish. 

"Those photographs sizzle with chemistry my girl. There obviously seems to be more than just a client relationship."

I can't help but honestly laugh at that statement, which raises Caesar's brow but he had a quirk in his mouth as well. "I'm a prostitute Caesar. It is just not a cut and dry exchange of goods for money. Of course there'll be chemistry. What can I say, he is a client. A very valued one, but that is it. I do not like to divulge the private life of those who come to the Kitty Ranch. But I can tell you it's only professional between us." 

If anybody was expecting me to pronounce my undying love for Peeta, they were going to be very disappointed. The vows of love we shared on that cliffside was the best moment of my life, and a private one. The world doesn't need to be assured that I love him. I know the truth and I hope he never doubts the truth as well. And I am not going to risk his life to assure him or anybody what I know is in my heart. That doesn't mean it won't plague me tonight that he might believe my statements on television. I've hurt him enough as it is.

"How about Senator Mellark, Peeta's father. There has been no word yet if he ever visited the ranch but rumors run rampant that he did. Can you verify if he visited the Ranch, and if so do you think that is cause for him to be ousted."

"Senator Mellark never visited the Ranch," I said without hesitation. This I can do for Peeta at least, save his beloved father's reputation. "And even if he did, I don't think it would be enough cause to oust him out of his position. He is a good man and has obviously done a lot for his constituents. There are men who are a lot worse and have done a lot more. There is one person in particular Caesar that I really came on your show to talk about." 

"Now who is this person that is so important that you came out of hiding to talk to me about?" Caesar asked. I took a peak to the side and I could see Plutarch hands gripped by his sides, his knuckles bloodless as he waited for my answer.

I closed my eyes for a brief moment to push away my fears and surprisingly my mothers face appears. I don't see her face how it used to be, glowing with love and happiness, I see her now, all wain and empty, wasted from too many drugs. It is people like my boss who have helped feed her habit and destroy lives willing, just as long he has power and money. "My own boss Coriolanus Snow. He's a dangerous man who has been using our brothel as a front for his illegal drug smuggling and sales," I say with a ferocity that surprises even myself. 

"What do you know Katniss?" Caesar asks leaning forward with rapt attention. I go into everything I've heard, everything Plutarch wants me to say. Plutarch must not have told Caesar everything I was going to talk about because he looks genuinely surprised, especially about LA's own District Attorney being complicit in hiding Snow's activities and the video I have that proves it. I don't speak long, but what I said I know was damaging enough. 

"Wow, you have given us a lot to chew on Katniss. Before I leave you, I have one last question - what is next for you?"

"I'd rather not say Caesar," I answer sweetly. 

"Well whatever it is, I am sure you will continue to surprise us. We are out of time, but thank you Katniss for tell us your story," Caesar answered taking my hands into his. 

 

___________________________________

"Well I can't wait to see the shit hit the fan," Joanna quips loudly, breaking the intense silence that has descended in the lounge as people try and process the interview they just watched. I look around and besides Haymitch and Joanna, everyone looks like they are coming out of a daze. What was once exciting with all the media attention and camera crew is now a scary reality as the girls realize how uncertain their future is. I know most of the girls never suspected what was going on illegally, hell I didn't even know until recently. Now with the bomb that I threw at the end, the focus is no longer on the sad spectacle of my life, but a blow to their own lives since there is the very real possibility that our brothel will have to close. 

"Alright girls, now is not the time to dawdle around, we have customers to attend to," Effie says shakily, trying her best to sound cheery. We all look at her incredulously, there are no customers. No one would dare cross the barrier of the camera crews. But coincidentally the front door rings just as Effie finishes her orders and she smiles triumphantly at being confirmed as right. 

"Well come on, I'm still in charge here," she says shooing the girls like they are chickens. "Let's go attend to them," And they all obey her as I move to sit on the now empty couch, not knowing what to do next. I realize I am in as much of a daze as the other girls, and decide it is probably best if I just lock myself in my room so I can let my brain process everything. But I am not fast enough getting up and my stomach drops when a shadow comes over me and I look up to see Haymitch towering over me.

"Come on sweetheart, I have a couple of visitors for you," he grumbles before turning around, not looking back as he walks away from me, just expecting me to follow. I hear a commotion from the front of the front and I am surprised to actually see men in the brothel, but then I realize they are not the type of men who would be using our services, at least not right now. They all have hard faces of authority as they tear through the place to Effie's great stress. I can tell it's taking all her control not to protest as they pull and stack on her neatly filed paperwork from her cabinets. There are also men coming out of Haymitch's office and Snow's room with stacks of boxes piled in their arms. My heart breakes a little more when I see the distress on girls faces as they're being pulled out of their rooms so they can be interrogated, knowing that I was the cause of this turbulance to people I consider my second family.

Haymitch doesn't look surprised to see any of this chaos around him. He just veers off to the VIP room which is completely empty, now free of the camera crew who packed up as fast as they came. The only ones in here are two women in their 40's, who are completely opposite of any type I've ever see here. Where I am wearing a thin tanktop with no bra, small cut off jean shorts and cowboy boots, they are wearing no nonsense business suits and sensible 2" heels. Both women have identically matching solemn expressions on their faces and severe buns pulling their hair back tightly. The only thing that splits them apart is that one has fair skin and brown hair, while the other has dark skin and curly hair. I can't help but envy them.

"Now let me get you something to drink, champagne or something?" Plutarch asked between a stream of words he is spewing at them. Okay maybe she didn't envy them too much if they had to put up with his nonsense. 

"Oh Katniss, my little star there you are!" he says once he notices me enter the room. He is obviously ecstatic with how well things are going his way. "Come here come here and let me introduce you." He waves me towards them, and I look over to a very unhappy and closed off Haymitch before I do so. 

"These are Agents Paylor and Seeder. They are the leads of this case. They were just telling me that Seneca Crane is cooperating with them and will be the star witness in the case against Snow. Isn't that lovely." 

"Hello," I say shaking their hands, and they both give me tight smiles. I don't mind, I feel like these women exude strength and competency that put me immediately at ease. 

"Please sit down Katniss," Agent Seeder says pointing to the couch I had been interviewed on just a few hours before. I do as they order while they sit across from me in two matching chairs. Paylor pulls out a recorder and immediately turns it on before getting started. "First we wanted to get all the details you can on what you know about Snow and Crane's dealings." 

I nod my head and tell them they are free to ask me anything they want. They are thorough as they go through a series of methodical questions. They delve into my own history at the brothel, what I know about Snow and Crane, how many times they came to the Ranch and if I recognized anyone who was with them. I even have to explain my own personal experience with Crane and my family and it's much harder than I ever expected to be so technical about it. A brief look of sympathy glances across Agent Seeder's face, but otherwise they just take notes. I really don't know that much except what Crane told me that one session, but I amaze myself at how many details I've held latent in my brain all this time that might actually be of use to them. Haymitch, a large drink in hand, and Plutarch sit at the bar silently watching everything that transpires. By the time they are finally done with their questions I am mentally exhausted and it has turned into early evening. 

"We wanted to talk to you about one more thing Katniss," Agent Paylor says, just as I'm ready to bolt out of there. They have been respectful of me the entire time, never making me feel of less worth because I work as a prostitute so I bite my tongue and wait patiently for her to continue. "We feel it will no longer be safe to stay at this establishment or to go to your home in L.A. Snow has been known to be particularly vicious when it comes to vendettas so we would like to take you into protective custody."

I just nod and swallow hard. I knew this was coming, but now I'm not ready for it, and fear courses through me, eventually forming a pit in my stomach. The life I have known for so long is ending and I don't know what happens here on out. I look again at Haymitch and he doesn't even meet my eyes. I don't know why I'm looking at him for support; time and time again has shown me that I can't rely on him.

"Can my Aunt Sae come with me?" I ask. 

"Of course, but unfortunately since you have a restraining order against you there is nothing we can do about your sister," Seeder replies answering the question I already knew the answer to.

"So what happens now," I ask roughly. 

"That's the good part. These lovely ladies have agreed that you can stay at my place. No one will suspect it, my mansion is secured, and I have my own hired security detail. Now isn't that lovely?" Plutarch answers instead.

I don't try and supress the horror on my face at the thought. The women look just as displeased as I do at the idea, but I have a feeling he pulled a lot of strings to make this happen. 

"How long do I have?" I ask ignoring what he has just said. "We would like to move you tomorrow morning if possible. I hope this gives you enough time to pack." Agent Paylor tells me. 

In less than a day I will be leaving the Kitty Ranch. I should be happy, but I feel the unknown closing in on me. I barely hear the rest of the details of our travel arrangements and what happens next, it's all white noise. All I care about is leaving them all behind and closing myself in my room to be left in peace for a little while. And finally they tell me I can go. I thank the agents for their time, and barely acknowledge Plutarch and Haymitch as I head straight to my room and lock the door. I head straight to the bathroom, lock that door too, pull off all my clothes and crank up the water of the shower as hot as I can, ready to wash the long day away. 

I must be in the shower for almost an hour, letting the heat penetrate my skin and numb me temporarily from everything. Well almost everything. Peeta is never far from my mind, and I start replaying every single moment we've had with each other, the good and bad times. I pull down the shower head and adjust it so the stream is as strong as I can get it. I move it down to my clit and feel the pulses of pleasure coursing through me as I imagine it's Peeta who's stimulating me. I can barely stand up as my legs start to wobble from the sensation and I am so close to an orgasm but I can't get there. Not when I miss Peeta so much I physically hurt for the want of him. I need him so much right now to tell me everything is going to be okay. To hold me and give me that warm loving strength only he can give. To show me that life is more than this moment I'm living in, that it can be so much more. So I give up and put the shower back on in place, but I don't turn off the water yet. I let it pour over my back as I forcibly remind myself of what the agents said about Snow's revenge tactics. I also remind myself about Plutarch's own tragic story of his lost son and it brings me a sense of calm and determination, even if I am still miserable. I remind myself that for his own safety it is best I left him. He will not be in the crossfire. He will be safe. 

I finally decide that I can't hide out in my bathroom forever and reluctantly turn it off. As I am rubbing my wet hair with a towel, another one around my body, I hear a soft knock on the door and against my better judgement I open the door. 

There stands the only person in this house I can stand to be around right now, Cinna. His brown eyes sparkle with warmth and he gives me one of his sweet soul-warming smiles. I motion him to come in and lock the door straight away. 

"Cinna I didn't know you were still here," I say, reaching out to wrap my arms around his waist and letting his own arms envelope me. The offer of comfort he has to give is too tempting not to take advantage of. It feels like eons since I last I saw Cinna when it was actually just before I watched my own interview. He was packing up with his stylist and I didn't see him once the FBI and DEA had swept in and I didn't think I would ever see him again. 

 

“I didn't want to leave until I knew you were okay. How are you doing Katniss?” Cinna says kissing the top of my head, his voice so full of concern.

I shrug, wanting it to be nonchalant, to hold my barriers up. But his voice is to sincerce, his eyes so full knowledge, and he knows me too well. I’m not okay, I’m far from it. I don’t even know how to breathe from moment to moment with all the loss and changes. And I’m so tired of being brave. I don’t want to be the champion for hookers and fight drug lords. I’m tired of being a fighter who watches after everyone. I just want to be with my sister and Peeta so badly I can’t deal with how my heart throbs with pain anymore. So I start to cry, really cry. The kind that doesn’t seem to have a beginning or an end. That makes your whole body shake with the pain. And Cinna just holds me, not telling me it’s going to be alright, but conveying in steadiness of his arms that he’s going to be there for me. 

I don't know how long I cried like that, but when I come to myself I realize that we are both on our knees on the floor. I either pulled him down or he guided me down. He rubs large circles on my back, and I start to relax to his touch. "I don’t know what I’m doing Cinna. So much has changed. I’ve lost my sister and the man I love. I'm just so tired," I finally choke out. 

"I know Katniss," he says simply. 

Cinna gently puts his arm under my knees and lifts me up. He is such a lithe man I never realized how strong he is. I also realized how tired I really am. All my limbs ache from the constant stress I've been living under, and I don't feel like ever moving again. So I put up no protest as he carries me to the bed and lays me down. He pulls off the now wet towels from my body, before undressing down to his boxers and sliding into the bed with me. He holds me tightly again, and strokes my head and I further relax and my head finds a comfortable spot on his chest. This moment is not sexual, but he knows an action with his body is better than words for me, and this is his way of trying to show me his support and comfort.

I am on the edge of sleep as Cinna strokes my hair when I hear him whisper, "I don't have any answers for you, but there will always be those of us who will look after you. You don't always have to be strong." 

"Thank you Cinna, so much," I mumble before I fall asleep. He is not the man I really want, but right now I am so relieved he is here.

I must have only been dozing for a couple hours when there is a loud sharp knock on my door. I turn around, so my back is to Cinna's chest, ignoring it, but it won't stop. 

"Do you want me to get it?" Cinna asks and I shake my head no. Unless by miracle it's Peeta standing on the other side of the door, I'll answer it for no one. 

"Open up Katniss, please!" It is a voice I least expected, Clover. And she sounds more desperate than I've ever heard her. So I pull myself up quickly and throw my robe on. Cinna get ups too, putting on his pants and shirt as I pull open the door. 

Clove bursts through the moment the door is unlocked and locks it again tightly behind her.

"What's..." but before I even can get it out Clove pulls my hand tightly in hers. My heart pounds at the look of desperation in her eyes. 

"I need your help Katniss. Glimmer called. She's in trouble and you are too. Snow had Seneca killed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I am sorry for a Peeta free chapter but I hoped you liked it! Don't worry he is back in the next one. And it should be a rather chunky chapter. 
> 
> Also I had no idea that this story was nominated for the Everlark Smut Awards for Best Forbidden. Well tickle me pink. Thanks all who have stuck with me even if it has taken me longer to get the chapters out. It's almost over so I just want to get it right. As usual I look forward to your comments!


	27. Wrangling Cats

The world seems to spin underneath my feet and I try to get my bearings... again. I just want this roller-coaster that has been the past few months to finally be over. It's not that I'm exactly surprised to hear what Clove has to say, Seneca was a narcissistic idiot who was in bed with a fucking psychopath. I'm just at my limit and I'm getting sick of being pounded into the ground with unwelcome news. The exposure of my life, the risk of the ones I loved ones was for nothing. All those carefully laid plans are a crumbling sandcastle and I don't know how to fix it. Snow is going to get away with it because what case is there without Seneca? His word on tape while in service of a whore will be laughed out of court.

"What? How does Glimmer knows this? Where is she?" My voice is anything but calm as I want all the answers instantly and I feel Cinna's hand grip my shoulder firmly in a silent message to settle down.

Clove is pacing back and forth, pale as a sheet, well paler than usual, and she looks like she's forgotten that I'm there for a moment. This rattles me more than anything since I've never seen her panic, ever. Not even the time one of her customers held a gun to her head.

"Clove, please tell us what you know." Cinna says calmly, leading her to the leather chair and crouching down in front of her, holding her hands and centering her with his eye contact like he has done so many times with me. This is enough to bring her back to us. I can see her back harden to it's usual rigid form and her sharp brown eyes cut straight to me. 

"Glimmer never gave up seeing Cato despite Haymitch's insistence to stay away. She would just see him during her time off, going to Snow's compound out west, and swore me not to tell anyone. I told her she was being a fucking idiot but she wouldn't listen to me. Well, she called me five minutes ago hysterical. All I could make out is that she saw Seneca killed by Cato and there is now a hit on her life. She made it back to Las Vegas but she's too scared to come to the brothel. I don't know what to do Katniss. They're after her and I need to get to her. I need your help, she may be a bitch, but she's my best friend."

Clove's voice is shaky when she finishes, full of repressed emotion. She's always so distant that she looks naked in her raw show of emotion. I knew they were buddies at the Ranch, their spiteful natures matching each other, but I never realized the depth of their friendship. 

"Clove why are you coming to Katniss for help instead of Haymitch? He's the ones with the Feds right now," Cinna intercedes. I look over at him, and I am surprised to see his usual warm countenance is replaced with something so hard and unyielding it makes me pause in surprise. 

"What, you want another reason besides the fact that she might care that her precious family is in danger? I don't have time for this shit," she snaps back, yanking her hands away from Cinna.

"Answer the question Clove," I order, standing over her defiant form. I don't want to be callous, but even though she has been nicer to me recently, both Glimmer and her have made my life hell the entire time I've worked at the Ranch. Why would she come to me now?

Her eyes flit between the two of us before landing squarely on mine. Her face clearly shows that she has no patience for our questions, but she knows she has no choice but to answer.

"Please like I'm going to ask "daddy" to get off his drunk ass to help me. He doesn't care what the hell happens to Glimmer, especially since she's been with Cato. But he would listen to his precious Katniss." 

A snort comes out of my nose at that ridiculous statement. "I don't know what's more absurd, the notion that Haymitch listens to me, or that he wouldn't help Glimmer just because he's pissed at her. Cut the crap Clove. Why won't you go to Haymitch and the authorities who are just down the hall and much better equipped to handle this."

"Fine. Whatever. You think I'm a dominatrix in a brothel by choice? I used to be an RN but I got busted for selling prescription drugs. I've been off probation for a year, and all I need is for them to think I'm involved with Snow. I'm not getting near them." But then her voice suddenly softens considerably as her brown eyes look up me pleading. "Look, I see how you are with the other girls. No matter how tough your own problems are, you always listen to those whiny bitches and help them out. I don't know why, but people listen to you, respect you even. Can you help me out? Snow will never let her live. You are the one who has to go to them and convince them how important she is."

Silence stretches out for a moment as I absorb what Clove has said, trying to bypass her subtle insults, and I start to understand what she has left unsaid. I think back to when Glimmer was nestled on Snow's bed like a damn persian kitten when he dealt with the girls and it all clicks into place.

"Does Snow make it a habit of keeping Glimmer around when he has his dealings?"

"You're gonna have to ask her about that. She never outright told me, always so damn evasive, but an awful lot of men came around when she was with him."

I look over at Cinna and he rubs his chin thoughtfully, lost in his head and I know he gets it too. Glimmer might be our one chance to get Snow. I walk straight to my wardrobe, shed my robe and pull out my tank top and silk shorts, not even bothering to look for underwear, and tie my hair into a braid.

"Okay let's go Clove." I say once I'm ready. 

"But I told you I don't want to be around the Feds," she says stubbornly, a petulant childlike frown on her face. 

"And I don't care. Haymitch will stick up for you, and moments are ticking by. Or don't you care about your friend?" 

Her her shoulders curve slightly and she bows her head, knowing that I'm right. It's worth the risk for her. The three of us head quickly down the hall straight to Haymitch's office. The air feels dusty and still with the lack of sound and the tension threatens to choke me. At this time of night I'm used to hearing laughter rippling down the hall, deep rumbling voices, and breathy groans of pleasure. But there is nothing except the thump of Cloves heavy heels, and Cinna and my soft footfalls. It's like everyone is under their covers hiding. 

When we reach Haymitch's office two goons in suits, easily a foot taller than me are flanking the door, hands crossed in front mirroring each other and not a lick of friendliness on their faces. 

"I need to talk to Haymitch," I say stepping up to the one on my right. 

"He is talking with Agents Seeder and Paylor. You can't go in there," he answers not even bothering to look at me. 

"It's important," Cinna answers, softly but firmly. 

"Absolutely not. I had strict orders no one was allowed in," he answers looking over both our heads. My short patience is tipped over, so I go on my tippy toes to get up in his face and make sure he looks me in the eye.

"Does this look like a face that gives a shit. I need to talk to him now." My voice is so hard and fierce I could see him stiffen and his Adam's apple bob up and down despite the fact he is trying to look unphased. 

"Step back," the other goon says loudly, but my scene does the job, because the door swings open. There stands Haymitch, just as disheveled as ever, his eyes heavy with weariness but there is a look of humor on his face I haven't seen in a long time. 

"I heard your dulcet tones sweetheart and I see you're making friends." Although his words are obnoxiously sarcastic, his eyes sharpen immediately at the serious looks on our faces, and he nods his head for us to come in. 

Haymitch shuts the door behind us and his small office feels like a closet as we all cram in. I can tell Clove must feel the same by the way she shifts her eyes nervously around the room, not focusing on anything. Being so close to the feds must not make her nerves any better and she looks like a trapped animal ready to bolt at any moment. Seeder and Paylor are standing behind Haymitch's desk, obviously having just looked through a pile of papers in front of them. Curiosity and wariness are apparent on both their faces and before either of them can get a word out I break the news. "Seneca's dead." I say brusquely and their faces are immediately filled with shock and disbelief.

"How do you know this? He was supposed to be protected by his own bodyguards, and he called a few hours ago to say he was turning himself in." Seeder says her voice laced with accusation like it's my fault he is dead.

"Glimmer witnessed what happened, she was with Cato," I say looking directly at Haymitch. We may not be on the best of terms right now, but we understand each other, and he will not question me like they will just because I'm a prostitute. 

"Shit," he mutters. "I suppose it's you cupcake, that Glimmer called," he says looking at Clove. 

Paylor is about to speak up, but he puts his hand up, effectively silencing her, and I wonder how he has so much influence with them. "Where is she now?" 

"She's hiding out at Circus Circus of all places." Clove answers. "We need to get her now, but not them, she'll run if she gets a whiff of them around," she answers nodding her head towards the two women. 

"Okay, let's get her then," Haymitch answers. 

"Hold on, we need to corroborate this first before we make a move. Who is this Glimmer person anyway?" Seeder says cutting a path through us towards the door. After opening it I can hear her asking one of the goons to check on the status of Seneca.

"Paylor, while they're confirming what we already know, you need to get your head out of your ass and start putting our plan into action. Snow is an unhinged psychopath and if things don't go his way he'd rather see everything burn then go quietly. I am not going to allow you to endanger my girls by your inaction. And I trust Clove not to lie to me." Haymitch says, standing firm and unyielding. I didn't know the old drunk could be so intimidating.

Paylor is obviously not one to put her emotions on her sleeves, but I've been at my business too long to not be able to read people. Anger flashes first, followed by fear for only a blip, before resoluteness settles in. "You're right Haymitch. We need to get everyone out now. Call all the girls into the main room so we can tell them. Katniss," she says turning to me, "I hope you got your bags packed because you're not coming back. " 

"No, I'm not important anymore. I'm not going anywhere until I am sure that Glimmer is taken into protective custody. She's who's important." I turn to Haymitch so he sees how sincere I am. "Haymitch she might save this case."

"What do you mean?" he asks, but in his eyes I can already see understanding dawning.

"You know Glimmer has always been Snow's favorite pet."

"Shit. I'm a fucking blind idiot," he mumbles running both hands through his hair. Well I won't argue with that statement. "I didn't think Snow would be that much of a fool, but I guess his ego won out. Not to mention he sees you girls as nothing more than horse flesh for the trading," he continues, muttering more to himself.

"What is going on!" Paylor says losing her patience at being kept in the dark since she didn't know the inner workings of our brothel.

"Glimmer might be witness to the very dealings you are trying to nail Snow on. And if we don't get her now, your case will be gone faster than coke being sniffed by a junkie." Haymitch answers before sweeping out of the room bellowing for Effie. 

As we all pile out behind him, looking like his flock of geese, Effie comes running immediately towards us and he tells her to gather all the girls in the front room as fast as she can. Effie just nods her head, not questioning him and walks determinedly down the hall. Clove mumbles that she will help gather the girls and is off too, obviously eager to be clear of the Feds for the moment. Right after they leave, Seeder briskly walks up and confirms that Seneca is missing, but there is no confirmation yet if he's dead. No one is doubting the truth anymore, not even the Feds.

"I've got to make a call. Katniss, go wait with the other girls and I'll be right in," Haymitch says. I'm about protest his dismissal but Haymitch's grey eyes are sharp and cut through me, and I know there is no way I will be able to argue with him over anything tonight. Haymitch may have had his usual amount of whiskey, but you wouldn't be able to tell, and the fight has left me anyway. 

Cinna and I go to the front room and sit down on one of the leather couches as the girls start to filter in, all wide eyed and tense. Johanna sits next to me and mouths "What's going on?" I whisper in her ear that Seneca's dead, and that is enough for her, already starting to fill in the details on her own.

I nervously start tugging my braid until Cinna puts his arm around my shoulders and I am able to push my nervousness away enough so I don't fidget. I'm more than glad that he is here by my side. I need to remain pulled together as much as possible because all the girls are coming to me with questions and fear won't help the situation as what I convey will just ripple ten-fold into panic between them if I don't stop it first. So I just tell them to sit down, that it will be okay and to wait until Haymitch comes in. 

An uneasy silence settles around us as the sound of these foreign invaders in our home fill the room as they bark orders into their phones to arrange cars and pull more security. The rest of us our eerily quiet since no one in the room wants to talk less they miss something being said. Even Effie looks scared and I hate seeing our mother hen looking so vulnerable, it feels so unnatural. So I pull myself away from Cinna and sit on the arm of the love seat she is sitting on and rub her back, giving her as much of a reassuring smile as I can. I am rewarded with a firm nod and then she stiffens her back, holding herself proudly again.

"Okay girls listen up," Haymitch says walking in with Paylor and Seeder close behind him. There is no need for him to seek our attention, he already has it, our heads snapping immediately towards his voice. "Your esteemed boss is bat shit crazy. Glimmer witnessed him commit a crime and now she is on the run and hiding out so we need to grab her as soon as possible. Also, we fear he's psycho enough to send some men to destroy the place and everyone in it so we need to clear out the brothel now to make sure you girls are safe. I want you all to pack your essentials and be ready to leave in 15 minutes, no less." 

At this time Paylor steps up next to Haymitch and speaks up. "I want to let you know, that we take this threat very seriously and we will make sure none of you girls are harmed."

"How are we going to get Katniss through the media. They're just going to follow her," Delly cuts in. I see several the girls nodding their heads thoughtfully before Johanna interjects, "Yeah, we need to make sure Brainless here is safe, and what's the point if we can't lose those dung beetles."

Both Paylor and Seeder grimace at Johanna's choice of words, causing a creaky smile to creep up my face. 

"Why don't we use that damn Kitty bus. We can dress up Katniss with a blonde wig and then have someone disguised as her go with the agents," Effie interjects. We all turn to her, stunned at the simple perfect idea. 

"Hey don't look surprised," Effie says chin high, sniffing slightly as she clamps her hands tightly on her crossed knee. "I've wrangled you cats for over 15 years now, I am prepared to deal with any and every situation that arises, even 'bat shit crazy' bosses as Haymitch so colorfully put it.” After a moment of silence, Cinna is the first one to vocalize his enthusiastic agreement, saying it was a great idea and proceeded to volunteer his presidential suite at the Wynn for a rendezvous point.

"Alright then, that's the plan," Haymitch says. "Katniss' switch off point was always planned to be Las Vegas and we can pick up Glimmer at the same time, so that works out perfectly. Now I need some girls to volunteer to ride with her on the Kitty Bus. I also need one girl to be her stunt double to go with the feds while the rest of you girls clear out. So who's up for it." To my surprise immediately 3/4 of the girls raise their hands to volunteer and I have to turn my head away so they don't see the tears that spring up. Now it's Effie's turn to rub my back in a soothing manner, silently punctuating the fact that I am cared for here, a place I never realized was my second home. 

"Hold off, this is not acceptable," Seeder interjects, the frustration clear in her voice. I don't exactly blame her, things haven't really gone according to her plans, especially since it's like wrangling cats getting us to follow her direction. 

"You are not an authority anymore Haymitch and you have no say over what happens to Katniss, I thought we had made that clear. We are supposed to leave this place on a party bus? That's ridiculous. And any witness to a crime must be taken in by us, not by a bunch of girls in high heels. You can't just be swooping in on your own to get this Glimmer woman." The tension in the room immediately thickens so much it makes my bones ache. I want to tell them both to piss off but I keep silent to see how this battle of wills unfolds.

"Glimmer's never gonna go with you if one of the girls isn't there," answers Clove, slicing through the quiet tension with her sharp voice. Paylor mouth barely starts to form words when Clove continues. "Look, Glimmer hates the feds just as much as I do. More so because they remind her of her asshole dad who used to beat her senseless. So she'll run if she even catches a whiff of you and don't get all cocky thinking you would be able to catch her. Believe me she's really good at disappearing when she wants to. How do you think she escaped Snow's massive security after witnessing a murder? But she will come if she sees a friendly face. You may not like us, you may look your noses down at us, but you need us. Just fucking swallow some pride and live with it."

"We take care of our own here," Johanna cuts in. "You need us more than we need you."

"Please trust us," I speak up trying to soften their words. "We are only doing what's best." Paylor's eyes soften and she nods her head while Seeder tries her best to control her frustration. It's clear Paylor is the one with final authority, and I sigh in relief. Paylor then directs Haymitch to proceed with the plans, but warns they will go sweep in if there is any whiff of danger.

With approval given, Haymitch immediately picks my closest friends to join me on the bus - Johanna, Madge and Delly. He also chooses Bristal and Britney to round us out to six. 

"We'll be your escorts to pick up this Glimmer person. There is no way you're going in alone, you'll be under our strict supervision," Seeder says sternly. 

Johanna let's out a laugh so loud that it reaches across the room, "Not dressed like that I hope. I know there is a fetish for everything but men do have their limits and I think cops with ugly hosiery and frizzy hair is it."

"You are out of line young lady," was the only thing that Seeder could come up with after opening her mouth a couple of times.

"Ooh, I feel so threatened! What ever am I going to do?" Johanna said dramatically.

"Okay, that's enough Jo. You have a such problem with the way they look, you can help them dress," Haymitch interjected and before she could protest he had already turned away and addressed Clove. "So you can handle being Katniss for an evening Cupcake?" I look to my left surprised to see Clove nod her head, conveying no emotion, looking like she accepted it a while back.

"Does anybody have to be me, can't we just..."

"No," she says sternly, cutting me off. "It's best this way and you know I'm the closest to your body type. Just make sure you get my gal Glimmer. And try not to fight with her okay?" This she ends with a tiny smirk, and I can't help but mirror it back.

"Hey no guarantees. That bitch is the one that alway starts it," I challenge, trying to keep a straight face. Who knew I would miss the days when my biggest problem was Glimmer calling me a bitch and giving me a concussion? 

"Okay enough with this lovey dovey mushy stuff. Times a wasting," Haymitch cuts through. "Okay the rest of you girls are going to my compound in Henderson. Now get packing stat and be out here in 10 minutes. I know y'all don't have much in your rooms anyway."

All the girls start filing out, talking amongst each other and some even seem excited at the turn of events. Cinna saying he'll be in my room shortly to help with my disguise and he leaves with Johanna and Madge on either side, talking in a hushed conspiring tone. I take the opportunity to go up to Haymitch, Paylor and Seeder to tell them what's been swirling in my head since the plan started to form. 

"Let me get her. You'll need one of us to to go in there because she will bolt at the first sign of guys, and I don't want one of the other girls lives to be endangered." I say to them once I've caught their attention. What I don't say is that even if something happens to me, maybe Snow would leave my family alone and Peeta can finally move on. Maybe it's better I'm just not here anymore.

"Can you give us a minute," he says to Paylor and Seeder before pushing me out the door, not giving them a chance to react. 

"Stop it Sweetheart." he says like he is almost reading my thoughts. "Throwing yourself on the sword won't change anything," he answers in a fierce whisper.

"But my testimony is not worth anything anymore. Don't you think he would leave my family alone if..."

He shakes his head sadly. "I'm afraid not sweetheart. It doesn't matter that Crane's not a threat to him anymore, you're the face of his downfall. He'll want to see you and everything you love burn." 

Haymitch stares down at me, his grey eyes sharp as blades, and I know he is trying to gauge my emotional state which I can sum up as shit. I'm so fucking tired of being the one who has to be saved. Pushed around my others, manipulated and leaving my fate in the hands of people I don't trust. I also feel defeated, scared, and barely hanging on to mental stability. But I shut that out as much as possible because I need to convince him that I should be the one to get Glimmer. I don't know why, but I need to do this. I need to get control of something in my life right now.

"Well we'll just have to make sure that he doesn't get away with it right?" I answer trying to put a brave face. "Haymitch, please convince them to let me do this. Don't stop me from helping."

To my surprise he gives in easily, a sparkle lighting in the back of his eye. "Alright sweetheart, I'll talk to them." I thank him, squeezing his hand quickly before I run back to my room to make sure I have everything ready.  
________________________________________________

"Fifteen minutes to Circus Circus. Where your childhood memories are sullied, gambling dreams die and gangs of wild unsupervised kids high on cotton candy run wild." 

An uneasy chuckle ripples through the bus from the girls at Darius' bad joke. I don't blame him for trying to break the tension. Before his booming voice cut in, the only sounds in the bus were Paylor and Seeder quietly making plans, the occasional buzz of their phones, and Haymitch's soft snores in the back. Otherwise every girl, including myself, sat in their own uneasy silence, nervous at what's to come. My own impatience and anxiousness seems to grow with the increasing brightness of the Las Vegas' lights. 

"I'm sure Circus Circus has never seen the caliber of girls like us walking through their doors. All the grandpa's are going to have heart attacks. Maybe we should send Paylor and Seeder in first to ease them into our presence." Johanna adds dryly and the girls' answering laugh is a little lighter while both federal agents look up with a look of embarrassment and consternation. Paylor whispers "never mind them" while Seeder fruitlessly tries to pull down her tight turquoise blue dress. They are learning the hard way it's not easy being sexy. Although both are beautiful women, no amount of makeup applied or sexy dresses can hide their stiff authoritative posture. But they can't expect this to work if two women in suits come rolling out of the van with us. 

Both loud comments seem to do the trick though and the girls start chatting amongst themselves a little easier. I on the other hand adjust my wig for the 100th time, wanting to pull the itchy thing off. I'm wearing a straight blond wig that goes down to my lower back with heavy straight bangs. It feels like it's suffocating me and I want to yank the thing off but it did it's job getting me into the van without being noticed. All the reporters followed the dark SUV that whisked Clove away. The other girls left in other vehicles towards Haymitch's house and by the time we left the deserted building it was easy to see that no cars had remained. 

I still feel like my brain is only half in the bus. Most of me is wondering how Prim and Peeta are handling everything while I also look forward to seeing Sae, the only piece of my family I'm still allowed to love. I feel like a tightly wound spring; any delicate touch or word is going to make me snap. Cinna has been grounding me this entire time, and I miss his calming presence, but he is heading to his hotel so he can clear his entourage from the room. Seeder and Paylor didn't want any other bystanders mixed up with getting Glimmer, but I can at least look forward to seeing him one last time afterwards to permanently transform my looks when I go into hiding. I'm about to adjust the wig again when I feel a body slide next to mine. I turn and to my surprise it's Delly, looking very excited. 

“So is Peeta meeting with you?" she whispers to me, her left leg bouncing. 

“Why would you think that? He's just a customer who got caught in the mix. He hasn't even tried to contact me.” I try to act casual although the last part that slipped out had a wobble of hurt in it. I didn't even realize it was in the back of my mind. He hasn't tried to reach out to me through all this. I didn't want him too, I want him to move on, so I hate myself for feeling disappointed that he actually did what he was supposed to do and left me alone.

Instead of looking disappointed like I expected, she just looks confused at my words. “Well after what he said on television - that he’s absolutely in love with you, I naturally assumed you two would be reunited. It's just so romantic." I try to convince myself and her that she's just being delusional, or maybe took too many vodka shots, but it's useless because I can't get any words out. It doesn't matter anyway since she ignores the shocked look on my face, getting a far off dreamy look on hers. "What Peeta said, how there can be no other woman besides you and that you were just trying to protect him, how you protect each other, was the most romantic thing I've ever heard. I wish I had a client like that. I always seem to get the old business man who want to dress me up like a schoolgirl and paddle me," Delly ends with a pout. 

"What?!..When did he say that?" I finally manage to sputter out. After I convince Delly that I had no idea about the interview, which apparently happened when I was crying in Cinna's arms, she pulls out her phone. After a few taps, she's on a major news site and there it is, right on the front page of the video section. She clicks on it, and leans over so she can watch it will me. 

Cesar must be doing double duty because there he is again, this time interviewing Peeta for an evening news segment. Peeta looks charming and beautiful, everything I know him to be. The charisma he uses so well shines through the small phone screen as he smiles at Cesar, chatting with him like they're old friends, and not on the hot seat for his current illicit actions. He skillfully avoids answering about his father and makes Cesar laugh about his ability to evade the press. And then comes the most important question of all, "So Peeta, tell me, are you in love with Katniss Everdeen?"

"Yes I am Cesar. She is the most amazing person I've ever met. There is, and will never be, no other person for me except for her. I have loved her since the first time I met her, playing her guitar on the street to earn a living for her sister. I was lucky to find her again, and this time I intend to never let anything or anyone get in the way of us being together."

"Peeta, she explicitly stated that you were only a customer, that there was no relationship between you two. Why would she say that?"

"She was only trying to protect me Cesar, and my career. That's what we do, protect each other. But I need her to know I don't need her protection this time. I fully intend to step down in my duties as my father's campaign manager and give up politics altogether. That is no longer what is important in my life. I found what is important and I intend to pursue it."

"Thank you for your time Peeta and best of luck," Cesar says before the clip ends. Delly's sigh pushes wisps of my hair into my face. I look up to see multiple eyes trained on us looking moony, even Paylor and Seeder, to my disappointment. The only exceptions are Haymitch who just rolls over and snorts in his sleep and Johanna who rolls her eyes. God bless her. 

But my mind has other things to obsess about instead of the people in this van. Namely Fucking Peeta Mellark. How can he do this to me? After all that I did to make sure he was not involved in this mess. I don't know what feeling is stronger, my need to kiss him or my need to punch him.

"Delly can I use your phone?" I ask my voice full of panic. 

"Of course," she says looking confused. I tell her to cover me and I have never been more grateful for her ample boobs as I slump in my seat mostly hidden behind her cleavage. I am under strict orders not to make any calls so I'm under their watchful eyes, but she does one better for me, a distraction. 

"Hey Johanna, why were you being such a fucking bitch to me this morning?" she challenges. 

Johanna looks confused for a moment before she spots the phone in my hand and quickly catches on. "Well I'm just tired of you fucking dumb blondes like you thinking you're entitled to my shit!" She yells back and just like that an argument ensues. 

"Please pick up, please pick up," I plead. I need to hear his voice, I need to hear a reason, I need to tell him how stupid he was. I thought he knew that what we had was over. But the phone rings an eternity before a message states that the voicemail is full. Of course it's full. 

I look up Magda's bakery next and call that number in desperation. "Rosa's Bakery," I hear an all too familiar voice, but not the one I want at the moment. "Annie is that you?" 

"Oh Katniss! It's so good to hear from you. I miss you girls so much."

"Annie I don't have that much time. I need to know if Finnick or you have seen Peeta recently. I need to talk to him," I say urgently in a low voice. 

"We haven't seen him," she says and my heart plummets. "In fact we are hiding out in his place for awhile and then travelling abroad for a bit. I love Tia Mags by the way, she is just the sweetest..."

"Annie, now is not the time to catch up, I'm kinda in the middle of something. You have no idea where he is?"

"No, I'm sorry. All I know is he talked to Finnick before it all blew up and Peeta told him, that he wasn't giving up on you. Then it all came out and we've been keeping a low profile ever since."

"Katniss, what are you doing over there!" I hear Seeder yell out over the din of Johanna and Delly's fight but she is suddenly blocked by their flailing limbs.

"Shit I gotta go. Just if you hear from him, tell him to lay low and be safe okay? It's not worth it to stand up for me in the public eye."

"Okay Katniss, but you should know I think you're more than worth it. And thank you for everything you did for me and Finnick." I don't know what else she was going to say because the phone is abruptly grabbed out of my hand by a suddenly very awake Haymitch.

"What did we tell you about calls Sweetheart?" he says closing the call and tossing the phone back to Delly, shooing her away so he can slump next to me.

"Haymitch, Peeta just confessed his feelings for me on national television. I need to tell him to retract it. It's not safe for him to be talking like that," I say. The desperate tone in my voice drawing attention from everyone in the bus.

"Katniss..." he says his face a mixture of impatience and regret as he puts his hand over mine and I yank it away from him. 

"I don't even know why I'm telling you this. You don't even know what it's like to care about someone so much it feels like a piece of you has been torn out," I lash out and he just slumps back in his seat and rubs his face tiredly.

"Yes I do Sweetheart," he answers and the look in his grey eyes is so sincere, that I'm stunned by the lack of sarcasm. "Look, don't worry about blondie. He's a grown ass adult, more than able to take care of himself and he knows full well what he's gotten himself into."

"That's fresh coming from someone who has been taking my decisions away from me," I can't help but retort. And the look of frustration is so great on his face I know he is keeping something from me.

"Haymitch did you have something to do with this because if you did, so help me god..." I reply with narrowed eyes. 

"Okay were almost there folks," Darius says breaking my attention away from him. "We'll continue this later," Haymitch grumbles before standing up to walk towards the agents. How convenient for him. 

"Paylor, Where should I park?" Darius continues. 

"Don't worry, you will be pointed in the right direction." And sure enough, every security guard, once they see our bus, points us where to turn until we enter one of the enclosed parking lots. We bypass cones to the top of the roof where there is no car in sight. The shuttle parks in a dark corner and the the girls start to all immediately get up to leave. 

"Why are we parking here?" Paylor asks Darius as he bypasses the front of the Casino, instead driving to one of the adjacent parking lots. "I thought that we would just immediately pull up to the front?"

Darius just glances at her through the rearview mirror and very quickly mumbles something about Haymitch's orders, before parking at a dark corner on the top of the roof, no other car in sight. She immediately turns to him with suspicious eyes, a look I've given him countless times. "Haymitch we did not agree on this time and place for the rendezvous point."

"Sorry my mistake," he shrugs completely unperturbed. "I must have misheard you."

Paylor just glares at him harder and mumbles "untrustworthy bastard," when there is the tell tale sign of wheels grinding pavement and a sleek black SUV limo pulls up next to us. Practically all of us shift to see who was going to come out, Brittney literally pressing her face to the window. I can barely stand the suspense as the first agent steps out of the front passenger door and carefully looks around before he opens the back door. And the moment I see the peep of familiar practical worn tennis shoes I know instantly who it is. 

Before anybody can put up a protest, I am on my feet, yanking the shuttle door release and running out. 

"Katniss! Stop!" I hear behind me but I pay no attention to anything but what's in front of me. 

"Baby girl!" Are the sweet words I hear before I am in the warm embrace of Sae and we are both holding on to one another so tightly I can barely breathe, taking comfort in each other's loving embrace. It is such a relief to have her motherly arms around me, I never want to let go.

"Oh Sae I didn't know if you would be able to make it," I manage to mumble out. 

"Of course baby. I need to make sure you're okay. All these goings on and I wasn't there by your side," she answers. "Now let me look at you," she says pulling back and holding my face with her weathered hands.

"I'm fine Sae," I say wanting to be annoyed at her fussiness but smiling instead, besides myself at the familiarity of it. 

"Katniss you need to eat and have some rest. You are too skinny and those bags underneath your eyes..." she starts tutting. 

As much I am loving this moment we are having, someone else starts getting out of the car and my attention is completely pulled away. I can already tell by the confident fluid movement who is exiting out the black sedan. It doesn't matter that he looks like a spoiled college student with his baseball cap, polo shirt and diesel jeans. Even if I saw him from behind I would know it was him - Peeta, the man I love. His smile as he looks at Sae and I is brighter than the lights of Vegas. The way he looks at me makes me feel like I am the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. 

I break free from Sae and rush towards him, the bottled up emotions ready to burst open. I don't have time to think, let alone stop my next actions. 

"You asshole! How could you do this to me!" I say pushing him as hard as I can with my small body frame. I start swinging wildly, trying to hit him anywhere I can, and I have to say, it feels pretty damn good doing it. 

"How could you fucking do that! I'm so pissed at you right now," I continue, not letting up. If I had a rational thought I would notice Peeta is so completely caught by surprise, that his only reaction is to put his hands up in defense, but doesn't try to defend himself against my fury.

I am winding up for another big swing when I feel arms clamp around my body and pull me bodily away as I hear multiple feet running our way. 

"Calm down sweetheart what the hell do you think you are doing?" Haymitch growls in my ear. 

"Obviously he needs me to hit some sense into him. What the hell does he think any good can come from coming here." But I instantly regret my words as I see the hurt on on Peeta's face but I still struggle to break free of Haymitch's grasp. Now instead of wanting to hit him any further, I just want to run back to the shuttle and hide.

"Katniss, stop it this instant. I did not raise you to act like you're in a Jerry Springer show! Now is not the time, you can rip him a new one later." Sae says sternly, and I instantly deflate at her words. Peeta arms arms are crossed against his chest, staring at me defiantly with a scowl that could rival my own. 

"I told you that probably would be her reaction," Haymitch says, obviously amused by the entire situation.

"Can we get to business here!" Paylor yells out trying to get control of this increasingly messy situation. But the girls have flanked us and she is having a hard time breaking through them. The other agents look confused and reluctant to enter into the drama. 

"Haymitch," I say twisting out of his arms. "Did you convince him to do this?" I say poking him in the chest. 

"No he didn't," Peeta cuts in, his voice so firm and authoritative we all instantly turn to him, and at the growl of his voice, I'm embarrassed to admit my physical reaction is immediately evidenced by dampness that starts to soak my panties. "I'm a big boy Katniss. I can decide on my own to tell the world that I love you," he says matter of factly. 

"Why the hell would you do that for? Do you know what trouble this causes you?" I say playing with the end of my short dress, not quite looking at him. I refuse to back down, my stubborn need to be angry at him, the only thing keeping my sanity. 

I finally look up through my bangs and a small smirk starts to play on his lip; I hate how it pulls at me so much. "Well are you scared for my life?" He challenges. And I nod my head reluctantly. "Do you want to protect me? Keep me at your side so nothing happens?" He asks further, the smirk on his face a little wider. He looks like an angel with the devil whispering on his shoulder and again I'm compelled to nod my head. Half the girls, and Sae, are nodding their head with mine as if he is speaking to them. and I would be laughing at the absurdity if I wasn't in such a righteously bad mood. 

"Well mission accomplished Katniss," he says stepping forward until we are only inches apart, my beating heart moves into my throat. "I want to bring out those protective instincts in you Katniss, because I know once it's kicked in, you can't let it go."

"Fuck you Peeta," I say in almost a whisper and my mind is fighting tooth and nail with my body which feels his own heat drawing me in like a magnetic pull.

"Can we get a move on? We've indulged these romantics enough and we actually have a job to do," Seeder says impatiently, effectively breaking the spell he has over me and I step away frowning as I turn towards her.

I can hear him sigh next to me and from the corner of my eye can see Haymitch slap him on the back and say lowly "That went better than I expected. I for sure thought she'd rip your head off, or other parts," and Peeta answers with a wry smile. Peeta may have made his own decisions but considering how chummy they look I would bet my sister's life Haymitch had a hand in all this. 

"Okay what do you want from us," I say turning to Seeder and Paylor, choosing to ignore it for now. 

"I want us in and out of there as fast as possible. I'm going over the procedure one more time, I don't want any mistakes. We all pull up to the Kitty Bus and pile out acting like we've been drinking pretty much all night. Haymitch, you go first with Seeder, Johanna and Delly. Madge, Britney, Bristal and Agent Mitchell will be next followed by Katniss and myself. The two front groups stay on the main Casino floor and be as loud and obnoxious as you can at the tables. Pull distraction away from us while we go find Glimmer. Everyone got it?"

"Hold on, Peeta says. "I am not leaving Katniss' side. I'm going in too." 

Paylor let's out and exasperated sigh, but before she can say anything he cuts in, "There is absolutely no option. I am not letting her out of my sight again." I look over and see that stubborn resolute face I know so well that brokers no argument. His eyes cut into me only for a second after his words, but it was like being under the hot rays of the sun. So I step on the other side of Sae like she can be my shield from him. 

"Damn that's hot," I hear Madge mutter and I'm trying not to agree with her. 

"This whole thing is becoming ridiculous and our asses on the line. You can come, but only because you're going to be a distraction and I don't want you running around being some sort of vigilante trying to protect Katniss. I don't want any risky moves. We are going in, getting her and coming out. Twenty minutes max. We already have some agents stationed inside the casino, and they are ready to jump if anything happens or if they see any potential threats." Paylor says, obviously unhappy as well all look like bobble heads nodding to what she is saying. 

"Now I've already been in there young lady," Sae says speaking up. "I saw some of Rodrigo's men who run drugs through Rosarito playing at the high stakes poker table but they already left so I don't think they're involved. They look like they were just having fun. There was a couple of characters sitting on the left hand bar that looked like coiled snakes but then I realized they're your agents. Those boys aren't very good at blending in."

I can feel the laughter ready to bubble out at the look on Paylor's face at the sharp assessment from Sae. "And how do you know how to spot this?"

"Oh never you mind. The past is in the past. I just want to make sure my Katniss is safe," she says looking up at me with pride, so I give her a smile and kiss her on the cheek. Nothing surprises me about Sae, least of all knowing when to spot drug dealers. She has a secret and I'm sure very interesting past, only a small portion of which I know about. Someday I hope she shares more with me. 

"Alright then..." Paylor says deciding to let another thing go. She is a smart, sharp women but I think we are all a little too much for her and Seeder. "Well, everyone back on the bus and let's get this over with. I'll let the agents already placed know to watch for Rodrigo’s men." 

We all comply like obedient sheep piling back on the Kitty Bus. I can feel Peeta behind me like a magnetic force getting stronger and I'm losing the battle of breaking away from. But I try because I am still irrationally pissed at him. The core of this anger is that I'm scared for him, and I know he deserves so much more than what he is putting himself through just for me. So I walk into the bus and don't look up as he sits next to me. I feel his hand slide in between my tightly clutched hands and lace his fingers with my right hand. I want to pull away, to turn my body towards the window, but instead I squeeze his hand, staring down at the pattern of fine blond hair and freckles on the back of his hand, never looking anywhere else as we drive to the front entrance of the casino.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all who are sticking with this story. I am sorry it's taking long to write the last chapters but as everything is being pulled together, it's like sorting through a tangle of christmas lights, trying to make sure it all makes sense at the end. But hey, a nice fat chapter for you to read. So never fear that I am dropping this, because I'm in it to the end. And as always I look forward to our comments. :)
> 
> p.s. My idea of the type of vehicle the "Kitty Bus" would look like: http://www.vipgolfservices.com/las_vegas/transportation/partybus.asp


	28. This Life's a Circus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a nice chunky action packed chapter for ya'll. The last three chapters will all have a different POV at the beginning, so I'm curious what you all think! Hope you enjoy.

Haymitch POV - 5 months ago 

It doesn't matter how many drinks I've had, how deep in my drunken state I get, I always seem to be goddamn aware just before shit goes down. It took me all day to be at the point where my brain finally stopped it's constant running. So when I suddenly find myself staring up at the water stained ceiling of my office instead of blank nothingness while being blessedly passed out like I was hoping I would be, I know something is wrong. 

Three loud knocks suddenly vibrate my door followed by a deep baritone yelling "Haymitch!" Heavy feet running down the hall after my name being called is all the confirmation I need and I'm up in a second. Shaking off the last of the whisky cobwebs I open my door to see Effie hurriedly walking towards me past Thresh heading in the opposite direction, her face tight with worry.

"What's going on Effie?" I ask as we hurry down the hallway.

"It's Mr. Mellark. He's lost it. We don't know what happen, but Thresh & Rue saw it on the video and he's on his way now." 

Some girls pop their heads out their doors curiously but she waves them off tasking them to go back to business. I clench my hands tightly at my side in nervous anticipation at what I will find and the hallway seems to stretch endlessly in front of me. That girl is going to give me a damn heart attack. But when we get there, Thresh is already closing the door quietly with a perplexed look on his face. 

"What's going on Thresh? Is she okay?" I ask before Effie can open her mouth.

"She's... handling it... I need to get her a first aid kit though." He still seems a bit perplexed, like he is processing what he just saw.

"Of course she is, she is a professional like all my girls. They know how to handle these very situations," Effie says visibly perkier. "I better get back to the front, who knows the state it's in with Delly at the helm." And with that she turns briskly around and heads back with a sharp click of her impossibly high heels. 

"Go get what she needs Thresh," I say patting him on the shoulder before heading towards the main lounge. I swing swiftly behind the bar to look at the security TVs snuggled underneath the counter. Her room is completely empty but I can see that her mirror is cracked. Fuck I hope she wasn't lying to Thresh. I change the camera view until I get to the bathroom, grateful that Effie is not here. She hates how all the rooms have video, but I did it for this very reason. 

 

"You piece of shit," I grumble smacking the video screen as fuzz temporarily obscures my view. Darius looks over at me curiously but just shakes his head and turns back to the patron waving his twenties at him. It finally clears and there they are in the shower. The steam is getting in the way but it looks like he is a pretty big mess; crying or more like sobbing while she comforts him. Fuck me, that can't be possible. I watch transfixed as she gets him up, pulls off his jacket and jerks him off. Everything she does for him is patient, calm and caring. I've never seen her even close to having any of these three traits when it comes to servicing a client. Well, except maybe Cinna. But this is something more, I can't believe it but she might actually love the poor bastard. 

When she leaves the room I act quickly, walking quickly back to the room and open the door to see Mellark sitting naked on the bed except for a towel wrapped around his waist, shoulders slumped with an air of defeat around him. He barely reacts when he sees me, obviously expecting someone like me to come deal with him. 

"Are you here to kick me out?" he asks, but there is no fight in his words. I wouldn't believe he was the man who broke two mirrors with his fist if I hadn't known the taste of defeat myself, if I hadn't been so like him. 

"What is going on with you and Katniss?" I demand and he sighs and puts his head in his hand. He didn't react to her real name so something really must be up. And so he starts to open up, like he can't help himself, telling me how he met her, fell in love with her and how they never expected to find each other here. The poor bastard is obviously seriously in love with her too so he's shit out of luck. I don't know why he thinks I'm some sort of confidant, but he then spills more, confessing his screwed up past and his even more screwed up mother. He gives the girls a run for their money when it comes to disfunction.

"Ban me from this place, please Haymitch," he finishes. "I won't be able to stop seeing her otherwise and she deserves better than me." He emphasizes this by waving to the violence he wrecked all around him.

"No." I say with so much ferocity that his head snaps up to look at me. His eyes widen and he is actually really looking at me for the first time. "If she cares for you as much as I think she does, you need to be the man she deserves. None of this running away bullshit." I pull out my wallet and pull out a well worn card. I don't need it anymore, I have the number memorized. 

"Talk to this man, Dr. Aurelius. He'll help you with that fucked up brain of yours. If you are going down the path that I think you are, it'll break sweetheart if it does and then I'll hunt you down and break you. She deserves better than that. She's one of the good ones even if she'd never admit it."

"Okay," he says not looking at me but just staring at the card. "For her I'll do it. And thank you."

"Sure thing kid," and I walk out the door before I do something nice like pat his shoulder or something. 

"What the fuck are you doing here Haymitch?" Katniss hisses out, mean as a rattle snake, as I walk out the door. She looks tired and worry is etched on her pretty face. 

"What do you think sweetheart. I needed to have a little talk with Mr. Mellark. I don't want any of my girls hurt, no matter how much money he may give to the Ranch." She's gotta be kidding if she thinks I wouldn't care what happens the girls; fuck how rich a client is. 

"There is more to this than you know Haymitch. I'll be okay, you just need to trust me on this." Behind her hard unyielding eyes, there is a pleading there that I'm not used to seeing. Katniss Everdeen never pleads. 

My heart goes out to her. Loving someone is not easy at the best of time, but I don't need her to see me going soft so I scoff at her. "I'm not blind Katniss. I know how you feel about that boy, but you're thinking with your other parts."

"Give me more credit than that Haymitch," she says getting frustrated. "Look, I'm going to take him away from here for the night. I need to do this for me. Please, let me do this." And there she goes pleading again and I've never seen her look so vulnerable. I hate it more than words can say.

She's going to help this boy if it kills her. But I know her, she'll give all she can to help him but there is no way in hell she's going to help herself and leave the ranch. I goddamn hate martyrs.

"Fine but don't come to me if this doesn't work out," I answer turning around leaving before I'm stupid enough to hold her and say everything is going to be alright. 

"Damn foolish girl in love," I mutter to myself. I know her like the back of my hand. Damn stubborn girl is never leaving this place until she is old and used up. Even with a white knight waiting to whisk her away, her priorities are warped and she never feels worthy of a damn thing. I guess Plutarch will get what he wants after all. I hate everything about the dick but that doesn't matter anymore, I better call him now and get things moving. She'll definitely hate me for this, but she'll get it over it.

_____________________________

Katniss' POV - Present

Do you ever have that antsy feeling that something really big is going to happen? The world is practically vibrating with all the energy building from what's to come it makes you twitchy and nervous the entire day? I've always relied on this gut feeling, especially in the unpredictability of my profession. The day Peeta stepped into my life after so many years... that antsy feeling was nowhere to be seen. Not one moment of unease flitted through me that day. And now I'm pissed at life for lying to me that everything would be status quo, because it has been so fucking far from it. I guess I can't really blame the handsome man I'm so unbelievably in love with for everything that's happened with Cato, Snow or Coin but I feel like he's not just the pebble sending out a small ripple of change throughout my life but a massive rock. 

So it really doesn't matter that my body is screaming alarm bells that something big is going to happen now because any idiot can tell you that the "big" is already here. I can't help but ask myself if I had felt that unease from the beginning, would I have stepped away from Peeta before he wormed his way into my heart? I don't think it's possible. I can't imagine now how life would be without loving the man whose hand I'm currently holding like it's my anchor in a storm. Even if I were never to see him again, which I always thought would be the case, I don't want to know what life would be like not knowing what real love felt like. What loving him felt like. Don't get me wrong though, my anger is still hot water in a kettle ready to boil over. I'm still beyond pissed that he completely ignored my wishes. And I’m pissed he thinks I’m worth the risk. 

But it's not time to wax philosophically. It's only a 2 minute drive, if that, to the main door of Circus Circus and we are already pulling up to it. It's time for getting things done and finally getting all this shit behind us. We pile out of the bus, everyone with their party faces on. For the girls it's easy, it doesn't matter how sad, tired or stressed out we may be, it won't won't pay us the big bucks to show it so it's easy to slip on benign happy faces. Our patrons only want a smiling woman full of desire so that's what we do. We laugh and chat as we all leave in the order that was instructed to us by the feds, and even Haymitch's usual gruff expression is gone, replaced with a man ready to have a good time.

Only Seeder and Paylor look slightly uncomfortable but it's pretty admirable how much they are able to hide it. Taking a closer look at Peeta's preppy boy look, it's a brilliant disguise. For a man who is currently splashed all over the tabloids he is indistinguishable from any other man in Vegas with untamed curly hair, backwards cap and popped pink polo shirt. He is given not one second glance as we enter, his hand comfortably on my hip as he smiles easily at me with that always charming grin. It's not so easy for me to smile back at him for multiple reasons, but the curve of my lips are up perfectly, and it may look strained but it does the job. 

"God, I missed touching you like this Katniss. All I want to do is rub my hands up and down your body," Peeta whispers in my ear as his thumb passes over my hip slightly. 

"Don't get used to it," I grumble through my strained smile and gritted teeth, but the slight stumble I take betrays how much his proximity affects me. He grips me harder to keep me steady, and his smile becomes wider at his slight triumph. 

"You know you'll forgive me eventually," is his confident reply as his hand slides down and gently squeezes my ass. 

"Stop it," I chastise under my breath, but he ignores me and keeps his hand firmly affixed on my rear end, squeezing it every once in awhile and I can't help the heat that rises inside me. 

"I'm just keeping up appearances," he says with a shrug and I give up, for the moment.

We enter Circus Circus and I instantly remember why I hate this place. It really looks like's hells version of childhood fun. What used to be a colorful vibrant place that was designed to bring "family fun" for gambling parents, is now a tired faded portrait of what it should look like. The casino reeks of cigarette smoke that has been embedded in the walls and rugs for decades, and reeks even stronger of desperation. The Kitty Bus never stops here because real heavy rollers would never even think of stepping in and we wouldn't want to spend an extended period of time here anyway. 

Pretending I don't find this place revolting and pathetic, I keep my smile planted firmly on my face and everything goes smoothly as my girls spread out on the Casino floor, laughing, buying drinks and gambling. Our best talent is making people feel at ease, and the girls make the agents look natural with them. They have turned themselves on to their brightest setting, dazzling the numbed out gamblers with their sexy beauty. 

After Paylor does a quick sweep of the place and everything is seemingly normal, she nods her head just enough to let Peeta and I know that we can all proceed to the second floor arcade where Glimmer is supposedly waiting. Peeta slides his hand to my lower back and I can feel the tension emanating from his fingers. I look up to make sure he is okay, but he still has an easy smile playing on his lips as he looks down at me, honed I'm sure from many years being the perfect face of his political family. 

Ironically enough, the place with the most life in this dingy place is the arcade itself as kids run back and forth, the sound of their voices, the machines and the cheers for the acrobats in the background almost make an overwhelming cacophony. I'm afraid I'm going to miss Glimmer in the assault on all my senses, but she is easy to spot after only a couple minutes walking through. She is the quiet dark center of this lively place, her demeanor very opposite of her usually confident loud personality. She is sitting by herself at the carousel bar, her shoulders slumped but tense as she clutches a drink in her hand. Her constantly scanning eyes reminds me of a tiger in a circus, currently behaving but would pounce the moment the opportunity is available to her. Maybe volunteering to bring her in wasn't such a good idea after all. An echo of a headache forms as remember the last time we had a confrontation and she gave me a concussion.

Paylor is about to walk forward and I put my hand to stop her and Peeta. "I better go ahead of you, she's real edgy, she looks ready to bolt or shank someone at any moment." I warn them and Peeta nods his head, not looking for a fight to my relief. 

“I’ll be right here for you Katniss," he replies simply. 

"Remember this might be a trap so proceed cautiously. I have all my men moving into place right now," Paylor warns. It's a caged, scared, and not mention temperamental Glimmer backed into a corner, so proceeding cautiously is putting it lightly. I just nod my head and move forward. 

The Circus Bar bar is open, which is rare, but not turning like it infamously does in "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas." This is a huge relief to me or anyone who does not want to have a heart to heart talk with the woman who hates them most in the world in a bar that you can barely step into. Who thought a spinning bar in a Casino was a good idea anyway? I softly step forward, grateful that I'm always able to have silent steps no matter how heavy the shoes. From afar she looked like the bitch that I've grown used to, but the closer I get the more I see a girl who is falling apart at the seams. She has obviously run her hands through her hair multiple times, and her tight dress looks like it was haphazardly put on. I slide in the stool next to her and the only acknowledgement I get from Glimmer is a sidelong glance my way before rolling her eyes, then promptly gulping down the rest of her drink. 

"So who's the broke down bitch behind you," Glimmer says while at the same time motioning the bartender for another one. 

"I know you have a smart head on your shoulders despite appearances Glimmer, so you tell me." I know I should have a better approach with her, but she is just so damn irritating all the time, even with the very first words out of her mouth and I am not one known for my patience to begin with; unless it's sighting a target. She just gives a gruff laugh, practically tossing her teased up hair in my face as she looks over her shoulder. 

"Never one for a bedside manner are you Flynn. How you got that hot piece of rich ass to fall in love with your skanky pussy is beyond me. So let me guess, that's an undercover federal agent who's never worn a thong in her life and you three came to beg me to turn myself in. Should've known Clove would go to you."

"You got it in one, except for the begging part. When have I ever done that with you? I've come to reason with you."

"Well I'll give you that one Flynn. But you know I ain't goin. Howard here..." she says motioning to the bartender who in turn gives me terse nod, "Well, we are old buddies from back in the day when I was a lowly cocktail waitress in this shit hole. I'll just say the word and he'll let me in the back before you can fucking blink. And I know this place like that back of my hand so you'll never find me. Didn't think I was that smart did you? Thought I was just being a pathetic loser in this pathetic place?" she says before reaching across the bar to pick a handful of cherries. Her hands are shaking uncontrollably leaving a trail on the bar when she sits back down, but she doesn't bother to pick them up. 

"No Glimmer, you may be many things including pretty unpleasant, but dumb is not one of them." I look back and the look on Paylor's face says she's losing patience and I can't even deal with the look of concern on Peeta's face, so I turn back to her and take a different approach. "So tell me how dumb was Seneca tonight?"

She snorts at that and shakes her head and starts to spill just like I hoped. "That idiot was the biggest damn fool I have ever seen. Me and Cato were having a grand ol' time in his room. His dick may not be much but he sure knows how to work it. But he's fucking obsessed with you, so damn annoying. Had me wearing a cheap brown wig with a braid. Anyway, he's called out to deal with a problem. I sneak on to the balcony to get a look and there is Crane on his knees, tears pouring down his face as he begs for protection. But Snow wasn't having it. There was not one lick of emotion on his face. 'Cato, now's your chance to prove yourself to me. Get rid of him,' he said handing him a gun. And just like that, Snow's goons holds Seneca down and Cato took the fucking gun and shot him in the head before Crane could finish his 'please.' Damn fool." She picks up her drink with trembling hands then and gulps the rest of it down and motions for another to Howard. 

"Glimmer did you..."

"Hold on. I'm not done yet," she says waving me off. "So there goes Seneca's bloody body and a clean up crew comes in to make sure Snow's white floor is all pristine again. And do you know what that bastard says next? 'Now get rid of that bitch in your room. We need to clean up house.' And you know what Cato says?" Glimmer is really riled up now, slapping her hands on the counter, making the glasses at the bar shake and the heads of several drunk patrons heads turn our way.

"What?" I ask entranced by her story.

"That fucking cunt bag says 'Can I have one more go first?' And Snow just shrugs his shoulders like, sure why not. That's what I'm worth to them. One more go before I'm taken out like the trash."

“I’m sorry Glimm…” 

“Don’t you even start. All that cocksucking so I would be their goddamn favorite, but you still shit out gold to them. Don’t you dare,” she says with so much rage I’m surprised the glass in her hand doesn’t break. But I’m not worried about myself. I know it’s them she's pissed at, I’m just the easy outlet. And I can’t be one to judge. 

“I bet you hated that, didn’t you Glimmer,” I say egging her on. “I bet you hated that all it took was more money coming in from me to make me their favorite, even though Snow obviously thought you were the prettier one. Well tough shit, that's life. You can hate me all you want but I’m not going to coddle you like Clove would and allow you to disappear. You need to face your own mistakes and finally make the right decisions. These agents are good people and they will bring down the bastards who fucked you over. Fucked us all over. You do want to make Snow pay don't you?" There is a pregnant pause as she chews her lip, not looking at me before she nods her head in defeat.

"Yes," she admits like a petulant child. "Damnit I hate that you're right. Here take this and leave me alone." She looks mournfully at her cellphone before sliding it over to me. 

"What's on it?" I ask holding on to hope that Glimmer did something actually right for once.

"I took video when they killed Seneca. I knew something big was going down so I snuck over my phone. Nobody even noticed me as I crouched up on that balcony, I'm practically invisible now unless they want to blow a load," she says bitterly. "Well fuck them. I've been tracking Snows interactions forever now. I even wrote down every name, every place I've ever heard on my notepad. I thought I was going to blackmail him with it one day and live in a penthouse suite on the strip or make deals of my own. Hell, even buy the Kitty Ranch off of him and make you work for me. So much for that, even I know I'm in over my head."

"Glimmer you can't just give this to me and run away. You need to come with me too." My voice is becoming strained with urgency. I can't believe all the time she was the key to take down Snow and his minions. She might be more valuable than Seneca ever was. 

"Oh no. I'm disappearing. There is no way in hell..." she says pushing the phone towards me. She is about to spring from her chair when a figure slides seamlessly on the other side of her. 

"Hey Glimmer." The voice is charming and sexy which can only belong to Peeta. In an instant her demeanor completely changes and she is sex on a stick, lifting her shoulders, pushing her boobs out and fluttering her eyes. 

"Peeta I didn't see you," she says like it wasn't apparent he was right next to Agent Paylor this entire time.

"Are you here to protect me with those big muscles of yours," she says squeezing his bicep, causing me to push down the irresistible urge to squeeze her neck regardless of the consequences. 

"Glimmer I'm here to help you. We all are," he says in a hushed tone with such sweet sincerity it's like she is the only person in the room. Her eyes are practically cross-eyed with how trained they are on his face which hovers uncomfortably close to hers. "Katniss is right. You just can't hide and think everything will be okay. Come with us and we'll make sure no harm comes to you."

"Will you help protect me Peeta?" she answers sounding vulnerable and needy in a way I know calls to a man who has an instinct to protect. 

"I will make sure that you are safe," he assures her, cupping her hands in his strong ones and she nods her head okay. He looks over at me with a smile of relief but it waivers at my scowl which is directed on his hands on hers. 

He opens his mouth, about to say something when Paylor rushes up to us, her phone at her ear.

"We have to leave now!"

"What's wrong? Peeta asks immediately getting up and pulling Glimmer with him. 

"It's Snow. Haymitch is right he has totally gone bat-shit. He's attacked the limo with Clove. Several journalist got in the crossfire since they were following," she answers us hurriedly as she pushes us along. She's aided by Peeta who helps keep a petrified Glimmer going. 

A gasp is let out by Glimmer behind me and she comes to an abrupt stop, digging her heels into the the carpet. "He got Clove? Is she okay?"

"We don't know yet... Information is shaky." Paylor answers, her eyes constantly shifting around us like someone could jump out at any moment. 

"I can't stay here. I need to hide before he finds me," And Glimmer has officially lost it. She practically claws Peeta to get away from his grasp, but his hands firm on her arms tighten visibly, making her labor fruitless to his raw strength. 

"No you don't. Remember, I got you okay? We won't let anything happen to you," he says firm but still soothing. 

She continues to fight for a minute before she collapses into his arms and starts to sob. He practically drags her as Paylor motions for us to make our way down the escalator. She clings to him like a lifeline and I want to feel sympathy for her but I just can't. I want to slap her actually. What did she expect would happen working for Snow, hell what did we all expect. I guess I want to slap myself too. 

I just want to be away from all this madness and with Peeta's arms around me instead of hers, and for a different reason. I can't help but think about what he had said earlier. Now that he is in embroiled in this mess, damn straight I want to keep him close. I want to make sure no one hurts the person I love. But first I want to get Glimmers claws out of him, she is bilking the poor victim for all it's worth. 

When we get down to the main entrance, everyone is already gathered, looking anxious, obviously finding out the the bad news as well. Seeder tells us to all stick together and make our way swiftly out of a side exit. We all do as she says, following her around like geeselings. All pretense of joviality is gone as we concentrate on getting the hell out of there. It's not easy getting through the Casino with our large number and there is no damn straight line with all the slot machines in they way. I look back and see that Peeta still has his arm supportively around Glimmer, whispering soothing words to her, so I feel like the odd one out and the distance between us seems so far. I shake my head and turn around walking to the front of the group, now is not the time to feel possessive. 

We finally get through the demonic obstacle course that is the Casino and I can see the blessed sight of the Kitty Bus waiting for us on the other side of the door. A sigh of relief leaves my lips as I spy Darius's spastic dorky wave from the top step of the open door. My lovely Sae rushes past Darius and down the steps, clearly anxious to get us all back inside. Her sunny smile breaks out across her face as she sees us approaching and I find my mouth turning up in an answering smile of my own. 

Just as Paylor is about to exit Circus Circus we hear the squealing of tires and the world seems to slow down becoming a surreal movie scene where I'm able to capture every awful moment. Frame by frame I see to my horror a black sedan ram head on to the Kitty Bus, causing Sae to lurch forward in an effort to get out of the way and is just able to clear it. Darius isn't so lucky and goes flying out of the bus. The sound of crunching metal vibrates through my very bones and everyone around me seems to take a collective gasp, and I instinctively taking a step forward and crane my neck around to take in what's happening. 

Doors open, and indecipherable bodies of four men step out. I only catch a glimpse of the guns they are holding when I hear Peeta's voice booming out, "Everybody get down!"For a moment time stops as he looks straight at me while the words pour from his mouth but still he's so far, too far from me. He's barely pushing Glimmer down when the ear-shattering sound of gun fire rips through the casino, intermixed with the screams of people and my girls. I feel an arm envelope my back and push me down and hold me in place. The noise is deafening and my hands clamp over my ears for protection as glass shatters around me, but the screaming in my head to get up and find Peeta and Sae is louder. 

I pry my eyes open through the onslaught to find everyone huddled in whatever refuge they can find. Gamblers, prostitutes, agents and hotel staff alike. Anyone who is far enough away to escape you can hear screaming and running in the opposite direction. The chaos that surrounds me is overwhelming and it feels like I’ve entered hell. It is also obvious that Circus Circus security is way out of their league. Most look too shell-shocked and are frozen to their spots. On the otherhand FBI looks like a well-running machine, even in undercover clothing, they have an air of authority. But there is not too much they can do while bullets are flying so all they can accomplish is moving innocent bystanders out of the way. The amount of blood is horrifying and I send a silent prayer that nobody is hurt too badily. Most of the wounded appears to be those who were unfortunate enough to be outside. If I wasn’t being held down I would run outside this very minute to help Darius and Sae but that damn arm is keeping me pinned. Darius is either out cold or dead and the Sae is huddled on the ground and I have no idea how hurt she is. 

“Peeta,” escapes with a breath and I crane my neck to see he is pressed against a large slot machine, his arms and body covering a shaking Glimmer who looks like she is fighting his grasp to run away. There is blood dripping down his face and I start to lurch forward at the sight, but those arms slam me down even harder. I turn to say to see say fuck off, and find that it’s Haymitch shaking his head at me. 

"Damnit Katniss, stay the fuck down, we are too close to their line of sight," he yells over the noise. To prove his point, a cocktail waitress tries to run for it and she is hit in the back. I don’t care what he is saying, I need to check on Peeta. I am no closer to breaking free from his strong grasp when suddenly the barrage stops. 

Besides the whimpering sounds of pain, everyone is silent, waiting for what is to come. "Oh Glimmer..." I hear a very unpleasant but familiar voice. Cato's voice. "Come out sweetie. I know you are in there. I've come to bring you home darling." She lets out a pathetic whimper and instead of fighting Peeta she tucks herself tighter into his embrace. 

"You've been a very bad girl," he continues. "Uncle Snow is not very happy with you right now. But he'll forgive you if you come out now. Otherwise you know what's coming. You know you want to come back, don't you baby?"

"Don't you dare move," Paylor hisses at her and Glimmer nods her head with a sob. "Reinforcements are coming soon." 

I can't believe Snow and Cato right now. There is no way they can get away with this. Being an unhinged psychopath is obviously an inherited genetic defect if this is their answer to being cornered for their illegal activities. 

"Do I need to persuade you Glimmer? I hear you've been fucking Darius on the side. Maybe he's clouding your judgement." My eyes connect with hers and I see the horror in her eyes as two shots ring in the air and she gasps. "Well that should clear things up for you."

"Damnit Paylor, you need to do something," Peeta whispers harshly, but it is Seeder who speaks up.

“We can’t start a gunfight with all these citizens here. There has been too many innocent victims already. We need to wait for backup. Glimmer, talk to him. Keep him distracted.” But her words to the frighten woman are ineffective, all Glimmer does is shake her head, tears pouring from her eyes and tucks herself deeper into Peeta. 

"Damnit Glimmer why are you so useless," Joanna lashes it before turning to me. "Let Brainless take care of it," she says completely serious. I look at her incredulous and she just gives me a look that says, 'don't be an idiot, you know you can.' I would laugh at the skeptical and confused looks on Paylor and Seeder's face if it wasn't for the situation we were in. 

"What the fuck is this!" I hear Cato yell out and we all turn our heads towards him again. What I can see through the shattered glass makes my heart stop. "I know you, you old hag. You’re that damn woman that watches after Katniss." No no no no no no no. It's so hard to see exactly whats going on but I know the skinny arm that he's yanking up belongs to Sae. 

"Katniss is here isn't she?" he says shaking her harshly. "Well won't Uncle be proud of me when he realizes I've caught 2 little birdies with one stone. He thought he got her on the road, should've known better. I can't wait to tell him the good news. Come out, come out wherever you are Katniss," he sing-songed mockingly. Don't you want to see ol' granny?" 

"You leave those girls alone you little bastard," Sae yells at him, not a lick afraid. God damn that woman is stubborn. And if the situation wasn't so serious I would actually laugh when Sae attempts to swing her purse at him. I hate the helpless feeling that burns through me as he slaps her hard, knocking her to the ground. He then pulls her back up by the hair making her cry out. He tucks his gun in his back pocket and pulls out his switchblade, pulling it so tightly to her throat that blood trickles down from the cut that's opened up. I've seen that blade many times, and we've heard stories that make the girls shake in fear whenever he entered the the ranch. 

"Shut the fuck up bitch." With those worlds all reasoning is completely out the window as blood thunders in my ears. 

"Haymitch," I whisper to him, trying to twist out of his arms. "You have to let me go. You know I can do it. Please. I got her into this mess." 

"They all have semiautomatics Katniss, I only have my old revolver," he says, his eyes pleading with me to see reason but he gives me the exact answer I need.

"How many bullets does it have?" His hands loosen from me. 

"All six." He let's go of me completely and I am finally able to turn around.

"There's only four of them, that's good enough." I put out my hand to him and he tucks his own in his pocket and pulls out the familiar gun I've seen in his desk for years. 

We have known each other so long, so in-tuned with each other's ways, our entire conversation was whispered and unnoticed by everyone except for Peeta and Joanna. Both had their eyes trained on me the entire time, but each with different expectations. Joanna nods her head in encouragement, while he shakes his head no at me, horror on his face, but I know he's afraid to say anything too. He is too far away and any attention he calls to me would be dangerous. He is helpless and I rely on that. 

"I love you" I mouth out to him before I rapidly rise and head straight for the door. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing! Stop her!" I hear Seeder behind me and one of her men makes to jump up after me. But Delly sweeps her leg and he goes tumbling down behind me and I don’t even flinch. By that time it's too late for anyone else to catch up to me, I am too close to the door and and they are all too slow to stop me, even in my big fucking acrylic heels. 

One broken door slides open, then the other before I see Cato's smug face and crazy ice blue eyes. All his men have amused faces, like they can actually get away with this. But I enjoy watching their expression change as they see me swing my arm from behind my back and pull out the revolver. Time slows down again, but this time it is on my side and against them. They seem slow as molasses and my movements are quick as lightening while silence thunders in my ears. First I hit Cato in the shoulder of the arm that is gripping Sae, causing him to automatically release her as he screams in pain but the bastard doesn't fall down. I swing to his men who did a shitty job of taking cover. I hit one, two, three of Cato's men before their fingers even twitch on their trigger. 

Time starts up again and I can see lights flashing and hear sirens blaring in our direction. The cavalry is finally coming. I train my gun back between Cato's pained and stunned eyes and barely resisted the urge to aim for between the eyes. Relief floods me as I see Sae already walking away from him muttering about youth these days. Cato is also clutching his ribs too, so knowing her, she must have elbowed him hard. 

"Take your gun out of that pocket of yours and drop it now," I tell him. 

"You fucking..." But he stops and does what I say once he realizes that he's is surrounded by the authorities. 

"How the hell did you do that," Paylor says in clear amazement next to me, her own gun trained on Cato. Her eyes squint and she turns her head, "...Haymitch.”

"Hey don't look at me, sweetheart's always been a good shot when I've taken them to the gun range..." But I am no longer listening to them. I slap Haymitch’s gun back into his hand and run to Darius and practically grind my knees into the ground to check on him. 

"He's breathing! Get a medic over here now!" I yell and tears start spilling out of my eyes in relief. Thank god Cato was a bad shot. One bullet hit him in his side and the other in his calf, but I'm worried more that he never woke up from being knocked out of the van. 

I'm pushed aside by hands more capable than mine, and I find Sae's open arms waiting for me. I hug her as tight as I can and take deep breaths, relieved she is safe. 

"Baby girl, it's okay," she says into my shoulder rubbing my back and I can't help but laugh through the tears and it feels good to do so, otherwise I would be an emotional weeping basket case in front of everyone. Leave it to her to always be the one to comfort and ground me. That woman has nerves of steal. 

"Where's Peeta?" I ask craning my head right and left looking around for him and panic rises when I can't find him anywhere. The place is chaos, although the good kind as people are being helped all around us and ambulances arrive for the wounded. 

"Over there sweetheart," Haymitch says pointing to an open ambulance where he is getting stitched up.

"I will go watch after him baby child,” she then turns to Haymitch and points a finger at him with fire in her eyes. “You boy better do some hard explaining to this girl. With that Sae briskly walks over to Peeta, eliciting a bark of a laugh from Haymitch. 

"Your old lady really took a shining to that boy." 

"And I bet you were involved in them meeting too weren't you." I can't help but snap at him. I find him a very good outlet right now to release my jumble of different emotions. He just sighs and rubs his hand over his face like he always does when he is frustrated with me. 

"I’m not to blame for everything Katniss. Look, you have every right to be pissed. But... damnit girl I have no regrets about what I did. You are so god damn stubborn and full of that martyr bullshit, you would never leave on your own ...." He stops and takes a deep breath looking up. Obviously everything he wants to say to me is coming out all at once in a tumble of words. This is the first time I've ever seen him so flustered but I'm not budging so I just stand with my arms crossed and wait.

He takes my shoulders firmly in his hands, making sure I am looking at him and in his eyes I see a sincerity that startles me. "There is only two things I care about in this shithole of a world. One unfathomably is that overly made-up dramatic woman who runs the Kitty Ranch. And the other happens to be you okay? I don't know how the two of you were able to get under my skin, but you do and I hate it. But I would also do anything to make sure you're happy, even if it's against your will. 

I could see what was going to happen with Snow. The Kitty Ranch was going to burn because of that lunatic and I couldn't have that. Not for Effie. And he was going to damn well make sure to use you until there was nothing left. It was my fault you got in this damn business in the first place. You were never meant to work there, and the one big regret I've had in my life is recruiting you. Sae certainly likes to remind me. So Plutarch offered me an opportunity, and he may be the biggest dick of all time, but it was the risk I was willing to take to get you out." As he talks the flustered look starts to leave, and that familiar look of steel takes place. 

"But that doesn't explain why you involved Peeta in all this shit Haymitch? Why would you drag him into this when he actually had a real future? Why bring more innocent people into our fucked up business?"

"I didn't have to drag the boy into nothing okay? He was the one coming to me begging for a way to get you out. He's the one with all the ideas. But you gotta talk to him about that. And damnit, I don't know why, but that boy loves you. Hell, I don't know why I even like you now that I think about it because you're a fucking pain in my ass. But if I have to get you forcibly pushed out of the Kitty Ranch, so you can have a chance at happiness, then so be it." 

I slump back, and fortunately my back lands on a bullet ridden limo otherwise my ass would probably be on the floor. Now it's my turn to rub my face. "I give up Haymitch. You're just too much... such a damn manipulative bastard." 

But there is no heat behind my words and he knows it and just barks out a laugh. 

"You know it," he says pulling out his flask and taking a large swig. "Now come on sweetheart, we better collect lover boy and the gang and get going," he says before promptly turning around and heading towards Paylor. The heart to heart is over.

I can't remember the last time I was alone but here I stand for a moment, and the world around me swirls with chaotic activity. I can't believe that for one moment they've all forgotten me, but it is such a relief. So I take a deep breath and fruitlessly try to get my tightly wired nerves to loosen. After a moment, knowing it's useless I walk towards Peeta who gets up, ignoring the paramedic who’s attending him once he sees me approaching. 

I look into is deep blue eyes so full of concern, and that is where I find my calm. That is where I feel safe and cared for. "Katniss I know you are mad at me but..." I don't let him finish as I pull on his neck and give him a hard kiss. His hands flail just for a moment before he pulls my hips in and he crushes his lips harder into mine. The world is lost for a minute as he plunges his tongue into my mouth and I moan at the intoxicating taste of him. There will be plenty of time later for me to be mad at him for not listening to me, listening to Haymitch and keeping things from me; but for now his arms around me is all I want. 

When he finally releases me, we lean our foreheads against each other, each breathing heavily. "I've missed you so much Katniss. Please don't do that to me again. I couldn't stand it," he pleads with me. 

"I know that we have so much that we need to work out, but can you just be kissing me now?" Is my breathy reply. Our lips are just about to touch again when I hear my name. 

"Come on Diana, we need to get you to a safe place," Seeder interrupts. I sigh and lean against him for a moment before turning around and he breaks off to help Sae with her bag, which she is reaching for from where it landed on the floor. 

"What is in this thing? It's so heavy you'd think there is an anvil in there."

"Never you mind boy", she says taking it from him with ease. “It keeps troublemakers from thinking twice about messing with me." 

I’m enjoying the deep vibrations of his laugh when I turn around to find Glimmer right in front of me. She is biting her lip and I'm afraid she is going to find a reason to punch me again, when unexpectedly she hugs me. And then I feel Delly hit me from behind, then Madge, and even damn Joanna joins in until all the girls have created a ridiculous big hug. I look over a bunch of heads to see a sparkle of amusement in Peeta's eye while Haymitch shakes his head muttering something about ridiculous girls. 

I guess being alone is kind of overrated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew. That was a lot, but I wanted to get it all in one chapter. So as you can tell, I really hate Circus Circus. I feel like it is a really a level of hell. Let me know what you all think. I always enjoy your comments. And now on to Prompts in Panem!


	29. Orange Sunrises

**Peeta’s POV - 2 weeks ago**  
"What'll it be sir?"

"Give me a double Maker's on the rocks, and a Cosmopolitan for the lady." 

"Oh Peeta, you always know what I want." Ginger cozied up to me, nestling her chin on on my shoulder. Her red hair spills over my chest and I wish desperately it was chocolate brown instead. I try not to stiffen even though her cloying expensive perfume makes my stomach lurch and just smile at her. Katniss always smelled like lavender and the rain in the forest. I don't know how a girl in Las Vegas could smell that way, but she did and it was intoxicating. God I can’t stand how much I miss her.

The bartender hands me our drinks, giving me the opportunity to break away from her grasping hands. I slap down a hundred, not caring about picking up any change and take a big gulp of my whisky. It's been two weeks since she's told me to give up on her, and the pain is fresh as it was that night. My mind won’t let go how beautiful she looked as she was leaving my loft. Not even booze helps to take away the pain but it's better than nothing. But there is no point in thinking of her, she had given up on me and now I have my mother's "business to attend to."

“Cheers to us,” I say clinking her glass and then drinking some more.

"I'm so glad you called Peeta. It's been so long since I've seen you. My mother assured me that you were only just very busy but I haven't seen you since Plutarch's party.” 

"I'm sorry Ginger," I answer giving her my most winning smile. "I have been very busy."

"Of course, I understand." she says, still pouting prettily, the suggestion of what she wants in her eyes. This makes me gulp down the rest of my drink and ask for another. 

Just as my drink is handed to me and I'm contemplating how many more I can have before blacking out but still "function" a shoulder bumps into mine, making the precious contents slosh all over my Armani suit. Looking up in anger, to my surprise I see the mischievous grin of my best friend Finnick beaming down at me, Annie firmly tucked in his side. The happy content look on both their faces makes my heart clench painfully, but I still manage to plaster that smile on my face.

"Hey man what are you doing here?" I ask clasping his hand. 

"Looking for you, what else. Hi Ginger," he adds looking over my shoulder. She barely gives him a nod, eyes throwing daggers at at Annie, obviously still seething over the fact that he dumped her best friend. 

“I think I’m going to powder my nose while you talk to your friend,” she says coldly before giving me a kiss on the cheek and walking away. 

Finnicks affable smile immediately falls off his face when she's gone. “What the fuck are you doing with her man? If Katniss found out…”

“What does it matter if she finds out, she’s gone Finnick. She gave up, like Haymitch said she would. So I’m a free agent now, right?” I make a grab for my drink but it’s Annie who pulls it away, her usually soft face etched with disapproval.

“Stop feeling so damn sorry for yourself Peeta. She’s giving up on herself, not you,” she says pulling away from Finnick. I look to Finnick to help me out, but he just crosses his arms and steps behind her. Obviously she has been ready for a while to have words with me. I try to grab my drink again, but she promptly pulls it out, sitting on the stool next to me and turning me to face her, putting her hands on my knees in an attempt to get my full attention. 

“Peeta look at me,” she says calling my attention firmly, but kindly. “What happened when you lost it at the Ranch? What did she do, kick you out?" I lower my head ashamed at that dark moment where I hated my life so much I had acted out in a way that would haunt me for the rest of my life. 

"No," I say softly. "She pulled me through it." Annie's small hand curls through my left one and I look up into her bright green eyes. I've always thought her to be somewhat of a strange girl, but right now I can see why Finnick loves her so much. She holds a clarity and truth in her eyes that is rare in people.

"She gave up Peeta. At one point you almost did too. We are only human and life likes to knock us down and sometimes it's hard to get back up. That's why I think love exists, so you have that person there to help you back up again and let you know it can be good again. You have to do that for her Peeta. She has it in her to fight. You just have to give her something to fight for."

My emotions have been so raw, so uncontrollable since she left, that I can feel tears slip out of my eyes because of her plea. I try to wipe them with the cuff of my sleeve, embarrassed about the scene I am making in a public bar. But there is also smile on my face because Annie is right, now is not the time to give up. It is my turn to give her a reason to fight. I feel clear for the first time since she left me, and my brain starts to click everything together and the pieces fall into place on what I need to do. 

I feel a slap on my shoulder and there is Finnick with a large smile on his face as he takes in the both of us. He always smiles no matter what, but I've known him practically all my life and this one tells me he is truly happy with where his life is going right now and that Annie is worth the effort. That smile gives me hope that it can be the same for me. 

"Hey man, I can see it on your face. Annie has set you straight. That's my girl, the best one in the world. Except yours of course. Sorry Ginger, I'm not referring to you." I didn't even notice that she had come back. Her face is completely pinched with anger and confusion, clearly clueless on what's going on. 

This is going to totally piss off my mother, but when is she not angry with me. So I turn to the beautiful if shallow woman and break it off for good. "I'm sorry Ginger, I need to leave with Finnick right now. He is right. I have a woman I love desperately and I need to be with her. It was wrong of me to ask you out tonight. I'm sorry for that." 

For a moment I think she's going to completely lose it, but to my surprise, her anger deflates into resignation. "I knew your heart wasn't in it Peeta. I'm not stupid, but I had to try. Just can you not call me the next time you're feeling sorry for yourself? I'll probably make the mistake of going out with you again." She kisses me on the check, and turns away, not looking back and not waiting for a reply. 

The three of us leave immediately after she does. Once we have the privacy of Finnick's limo, I pull out my phone afraid I've wasted too much time, afraid that I'm too late.

"I take it you finally stopped feeling sorry for yourself kid. If you want to talk to Sweetheart, she won't do it so I wouldn't even try." Is the gruff but surprisingly sober voice of Haymitch that comes over the phone line. 

“No, I want to talk to you. I think I know what I need to do.”

“Well it better be a good one kid, because Snow's got his claws dug into her deep and she's too depressed about your sorry ass and taking it out on me to care. We're losing our chance to get Snow and get her the hell out.”

“I know I know. I fucked up. You warned me that this would happen but I still wasn't prepared for how much it would hurt. Haymitch, I still think that both of us should have been straight with her since the beginning. Now listen, what do you say I commit Seppuku.”

________________________________________________________________  
 **Katniss’ POV - present**

"Delly did you seriously have to lay one on the bus? You couldn't have held it until we got to a bathroom? This hotel room is like five freakin' minutes away!" Madge exclaims still waving her hand dramatically in front of her face like she has the entire way up the elevator.

"I'm sorry, I'm still so nervous about everything. I thought I would be arrested for tripping that federal agent! I'm sorry about that by the way, please don't file charges," she says turning to him. "But did you see how I swept my leg to trip him, sorry about that again, that was pretty awesome!"

"Geez, Delly you make it sound like you were the one who single-handedly saved everyone instead of Katniss. You just did what you do best, trip up other people," Glimmer quipped obviously returning back to true form. Delly let out an indignant huff, and her mouth flapped open to say something, but Joanna wrapped her arm around her shoulder and whispered something in her ear, making her blush and giggle. Glimmer all but forgotten for the moment.

Seeder is rubbing her temples tiredly when we get to Cinna's penthouse suite. When Paylor disappeared to deal with the repercussion of the shoot out, she got the unfortunate duty to be our wrangler, along with a few other lucky agents. Sae has also disappeared, firmly nestled like a tick at her favorite slot machine. She waved off any protection since she obviously blended in better without one.

Seeder is about to knock on the door when it swings open and we are greeted with the amused smile of Cinna with Portia close behind him. "Welcome. Your dulcet tones traveling down the hallway warned us that you were here. It looks like all went well with getting Glimmer." 

Poor Agent Seeder just shakes her head as she steps on into the room and we see the big flat screen showing grainy hotel video of me, blonde wig and all gunning down Cato and his men, with the tagline "Mystery woman stops assailants at Circus Circus." The federal agents assured me that I will never be identified as the "mystery woman." The rest of us all pile in, the girls giving Cinna and Portia each a kiss, some innocent and others not so much, as they pass. Peeta is practically dragging me through the threshold I'm so exhausted. When I give the couple each a peck on the lips I feel Peeta's hand on my hip tighten and turn to see his jaw muscle snapping as he looks between Cinna and I. I decide to ignore his unasked question as I slip out of his grasp since I'm still mad at him, or at least I think I am. I'm just too tired to deal with it. 

All of a sudden Madge and Joanna start bickering, something about shoes and Haymitch grumbles at them to knock it off as he closes the door behind him. 

"Do you ladies ever stop fighting? I don’t think you could have drawn more attention to yourselves walking through the hotel.” Seeder says dejectedly as she kicks off her heels. I hope the agents gain a new respect for us girls who have to wear them every day. We are all in various states of disrepair, exhaustion and crankiness. So it's no surprise that despite almost losing our lives in a blaze of gunfire, and having a big group hug, the girls are doing what they do best, bicker.

There is a loud snort from my left that can only be Haymitch. "Sugarplum why do you think I drink? To tune their caterwauling out." He pulls out his flask and waves it at all of us before taking a big swing and disappears into one of the adjoining rooms. 

"Relax 'sugarplum'," Joanna replies before plopping on the large couch, flinging a leg over one of the arms. The eyes of a hapless male agent who's in her direct line of sight seem to pop out when he realizes she isn't wearing any underwear. “Snow has been arrested. Cato has been arrested and is probably crying like a bitch right now because he's injured. Thank you for that by the way Katniss, but still you could have aimed lower. All their stupid cronies are being arrested this very minute thanks to that blonde bitch's list. It's as good as it's going to get for now."

"Don't even get me started on Katniss' heroism." Agent Seeder snaps back, pointing to the news replaying the shoot out yet again. "How are we even going to explain this to the higher ups about what went down? A prostitute gunning down drug lords with precise aim in a matter of seconds? It sounds like a god damn Quentin Tarantino movie!" 

I clap my hands to my ears as all the girls at once start protesting how ungrateful the agents are and soon everyone is speaking loudly to be heard, including Glimmer who is yelling at Joanna for calling her a bitch. 

"Can you all please just settle down for one moment!" I yell out and the girls immediately stop and turn to me.

"Agent Seeder," I say turning to them. "I'm sorry for not thinking and just acting, but I am not sorry I did it. But I am willing to take any punishment that will be handed down to me. Now ladies, just relax and try to get along for more than five minutes." 

"And it might help you to know that this suite has a fully stocked bar that you are welcome to," Cinna adds. That certainly distracts them. Johanna pops up from the couch and quickly makes a path to the bar. The rest of the girls follow her like she is a pied piper as they talk animatedly, squabbles forgotten. Seeder takes Joanna’s place on the couch with more decorum, obviously mentally run down and done with trying to wrangle my cats.

"Thanks Cinna, you always know how to handle them," I say taking his hand as we share amused smiles. 

"Wait is he one of your clients?" I see Peeta's face harden as he glares at an unphased Cinna.

"Yes, she is my muse," he smiles completely relaxed. 

I see Peeta's hand clench and I put a hand firmly on his chest. "I think it's time that we finally had that talk," I tell him softly.

The girls stop what they are doing and all look at us, waiting to see with too much excitement what drama will go down. "Somewhere private." I say loudly and hear several grumblings of disappointment. 

"You can use my room," Cinna says, pointing to a set of double doors before he joins his wife and kisses her on the cheek. 

Not looking at what Peeta's expression might be, I pry open his clenched hand and pull him to the bedroom. The girls, having given up on hearing anything, turn back to pouring their drinks again as Seeder appears to have fallen asleep on the couch. I sigh in relief when the door is closed behind us and the noise cuts down. Now it just sounds like bees buzzing outside a door. 

I close the door and immediately turn to him. "Before you say anything Peeta, even though Cinna WAS a client, he is also a good friend. He has been there for me during some tough times and he is not going anywhere. This is something you are going to have to accept if you are going to be part of my life." 

Peeta sighs, but his muscles start to relax as he slumps on the bed, looking resigned. "I know Katniss, it's still not easy when I'm face to face with your past. But I do like the last thing you said," he says with a small smile.

"What? About you being a part of my life?" I ask sitting down next to him on the plush king sized bed and start taking off my heels. I groan in relief as I wiggle my toes, letting blood flow back in. 

"Yeah, that last part," he says shifting closer to me. He is about to slide his arm around my waist but I put my hand out to stop him while I shuffle a little further away. Peeta may hide his emotions well to others but I can tell the subtle way his forehead crunches that I hurt his feelings, and the sharpness in his eyes that anger is right there under the surface. I hate that my actions are causing these emotions, but we can't have a serious talk if he is sitting so damn close to me. Peeta is seriously my own personal drug and I know the closer he is, the faster I lose any clear judgement. We need to hash things out and I may lose any self-control I have left if I even feel the heat of his skin next to my own. 

Time stretches too long as we stare at each other. He is waits, thin on patience, to hear what I’m going to say, while I struggle to figure out how to actually express myself clearly. Resentment is the new expression that flickers on his face and I fold my legs up wrapping my arms around them, resting my chin on my knees in a tight protective ball. 

"Well Katniss, you wanted to talk so talk?" Peeta finally says and my spine bristles at his words. All amusement is gone from his face and his arms are crossed like he is ready for whatever I may throw at him. 

“Peeta you shouldn’t have come. You have no right to get involved in my business and you could have been killed today,” I spit out, inwardly cringing at how wrong it seems to come out, and it is apparent on his face that I’ve completely pissed him off.

“No right?! Damnit Katniss. You were the one who could have been killed today. I'm so mad at you for jumping out like that. You don't even realize what it would be like if I lost you." He jumps off the bed, pacing back and forth in front of me, his thick fingers gripping his hair. "And what do I have to do so that you let me into your life? Tell me. Any other woman on this planet would have swooned over everything I've done. But no, not you. You're stubborn as a damn mule and can’t admit that sometimes it’s okay to need someone!”

I jump up at his words and stomp towards him. As we glare at each other, our postures mirror each other right down to our clenched fists. He’s cracking my protective walls with his words, how angry they may be, and I’m not ready for it so I reply in kind with my own hostility. 

“Well I’m sorry I don’t ‘swoon’ over you Peeta. I’m not a damsel in distress you need to save. I told you to stay away for a reason. Why don’t you get that? I’m fucking toxic. All I ever do is hurt those around me and that includes you. It is better that you never knew me. So the least you could do is forget about me. Why can’t you get that?” 

“You're being fucking ridiculous!" he yells, losing what little control he has left. He grips my shoulders, but instantly his face softens with regret and he let's go of my stiffened form. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, you just can be so infuriating, so stubborn... No wait, I take that back, you are being ridiculous. For one damn moment can't you allow yourself to be loved? It's not like I can judge, my life's been peaches and roses, or whatever. And you're worth it okay, you are totally worth it. You've saved me so many ways, and I'm not talking from just bodily harm. You've SAVED me. Now it's my turn to return the goddamn favor! Let me love you. Let me take care of you." 

Even through his words burst out with angry frustration, it overwhelms me with how much it's because he does truly love me. It's like he broke through the thick built up walls and emotions I’ve bottled up over the years. It completely overwhelms me. I instantly plop back down on the bed and put my head in my hands. "No I can't," I say, the words muffled. 

I feel his weight dip down next to me and his arm wraps around me. This time I don't try to pull away. 

"Why Katniss?" he asks, his voice pleading for me to open up. 

"Because I don’t deserve to be loved. I’ve lost almost everyone I care about and I can't go through it anymore. I lost my father, my mother, my sister... I can't let myself love you and have that happen to you too. I think it would break me. I can't talk about this anymore." I finally look up at him and his expression is no longer angry but filled with concern and I can’t stand it. I can’t stand the pity, so I get up, pulling myself out of his warmth, and start walking towards the door. I need to get out of here, go anywhere, this room just feels so suffocating. 

Just as I put my hand on the door, his hand yanks my shoulder, turning me around so that I have to face him. I try to push him away, but he is too fast for me. Each of his hands lock on my wrists and he twists them behind my back so I am helpless. Past the frustration on his face, I see adoration and possibly even amusement?

"I hate to break it to you sweetheart but that's life. We all have to deal with loving and losing people, but I know you are a survivor and strong enough to get through it. You haven’t lost everyone you’ve loved. Prim is still there, you just have to fight for her. I know you love those girls out there, and you protected them today. And Sae is as stubborn as a donkey and she’s not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere too." 

"But I'm a whore Peeta. And I would do it all over again to provide for my family. How can you want that?" I say weakly, my last stand for winning the argument. He just gives a sad wry smile.

"I can't throw the first stone Katniss. You saw the paintings. You've known what I've done for my family. And it's already too late for me. I love you Katniss, and you've said you love me too. If you leave me, If I never see you again it will break me. It almost did when you left me at my loft. So suck it up because I am not letting you go this time."

He then kisses me hard, almost like an exclamation point on his statement, a physical way of expressing exactly what he just said. My stubbornness shatters into pieces at my feet and my knees buckle as the emotions I feel in that hard, wet, wonderful kiss overwhelm me. When he feels me giving in his hands squeeze my wrists harder and I let out a whimper. The small movement of my lips is enough for him to push his tongue into my mouth and I’ve effectively lost the argument. God, I do love him so much, so much it hurts. I can’t control the way Peeta makes me feel and he is right. It would break me into pieces if I couldn’t be with him, because it almost did. When his name leaves my lips in a breathy moan he suddenly pulls away, breathing heavy and I look up to see guilt clouding his eyes. 

“What is it Peeta? What’s wrong?” He pulls me back to the bed and onto his lap, one hand firmly on my waist and the other encompassing both my hands. 

“I need to be totally honest with you. About my involvement with this whole thing.”

I pull one hand out and press it against his lips before he speaks any further. His eyes widen in surprise but my expression tells him to shut up for a moment. 

"Stop right there. Let me guess. You and Haymitch have been 'discussing' how to extract me from the ranch for awhile now. I bet you even maybe talked to Plutarch..."

"How did you..."

"You and Haymitch must think I'm blind and deaf. Just because I work in a brothel doesn't mean I don't see things. Quite the opposite. I've noticed how chummy you two have been. The night I left you, I could see it in your eyes, that you knew about Prim and I didn't have to say anything." My throat tightens for a moment and his eyes soften with tears. But I shake my head and try to lighten the moment a little. 

"And my boozer boss loves to throw not so subtle hints all the time. I wouldn't even be surprised if it was your idea to throw yourself on the proverbial sword and exposed those pictures of us to the media. It had to have been an insider since all those pictures came from our security camera. At first I was so mad, I assumed it was revenge from Snow or Crane, but when I cooled down it was obvious it had to have been Haymitch."

His slack jawed stunned face says it all. He swallows hard and guilt washes over his face. 

"Katniss I'm sorry..."

"No. I don't want to hear apologies." I shift so I am straddling him, and cup his strong jaw with my hands to make sure he sees in my eyes how deadly serious I am. 

"Just can you both stop trying to manipulate me please? Keep me involved in your schemes. I am no ones pawn, yet people keep trying to make me one. I thought I was more than that to you. I want you to respect me enough to trust me with everything." My voice gets a little rough from vocalizing my hurt. I know they meant well, but that doesn't mean it was right. 

Peeta cups his large hand over my small one and leans forward to kiss me on the lips softly, a promise that he doesn't have to say in words. I think I'm rubbing off on him. He pulls away just enough to lean his forehead against mine. His soft sweet breath washes over me and I close my eyes, absorbing the closeness. 

"You are right Katniss. I promise I will never keep things from you anymore. You are just so stubborn and we both worried that we couldn't get you out. But I need to trust you more, with everything. And you need to trust me with your hard times too. Okay? No more pushing me away and thinking you can handle it alone. We protect each other remember?"

I hug him tightly, tucking my head under his chin while he wraps his arms around my waist and I allow myself to open my heart fully for the first time. I can feel love and contentment flood through my body in a way I never knew existed. 

"Peeta I promise I will never push you away again." 

I stay nestled in his arms, relaxed and happy as his hands rub up and down my back. It is strange how you can feel the mood change without having looked at a person, with the movements of his fingers not changing it's pattern. What was once loving and tender changes to charged electricity as his fingers slide up and down my back while my hands scratch his neck. 

"Katniss," he whispers in a deep voice in my ear. "I know a better way I can apologize to you."

"Mmmm?" is my only answer, but it sounds more like a moan. He swiftly stands up with me still in his arms, turns around, and gently lays me down on the bed.My eyes follow the path of his movements curiously as he pulls open Cinna's drawers and closets until he finds what he's looking for, a tie. 

"Peeta what are you doing?" I ask, my voice laced with laughter as he deftly knots it over his pink frat boy polo shirt, leaving the collar popped up, making him look completely ridiculous. 

"Katniss, do you remember the time on the plane when you were really really mad at me?" He asks taking smooth strides towards me and I'm starting to understand his intentions. 

"Yes. I recall you needed to be taught a lesson," I answer as he pulls off the knotted tie over his head before bringing it over mine.

"Well I think it's time Ms. Flynn that you remind me of that lesson. And I'll be a good boy, I promise. Just tell me what to do." His voice is so deep and gruff with want that I instantly start to pool with wetness for him. I think I'm going to like this 'lesson', a lot. 

"Take off my dress Peeta," I order, standing up before him. He walks behind me, sliding his fingers on my hip before slowly pulling down the zipper of my dress. I can feel his uneven breath on the juncture of my neck as he helps my dress slither down my body, revealing I am wearing only lacy black panties. 

Peeta pulls me back into his chest and gives my neck a long trailing lick which makes me lose my head for a moment before I turn around quickly and push him away. 

"Not yet Mr. Mellark. Sit down," I say pointing to the bed, giving him a stern look. He does so obediently and I appreciate the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he licks his lips. I stept up to him, finger my panties and before I can even react, he pulls me by my ass, buries his head into the juncture of my thighs and gives a needy moan.

"Fuck My Little Kat, I can smell how much you want me. God I missed that smell." His tongue suddenly thrusts between my folds, forcing me to give a sudden gasp. "And I miss how you taste even more."

It is my automatic reaction to pull him closer; tip off his stupid baseball cap as he looks up at me and thread my fingers into his wild curls. He reciprocates by pulling my blonde wig off and tossing it behind me. While I shake my hair out, we stare at each other, and I feel truly naked for the first time as I get lost in his hungry eyes. The moment flips from sexually charged to intimate as his cheek moves to my lower abdomen. He pulls me in tighter as my hands hold him there. We are silent for a moment, slightly rocking back and forth, our bodies instead of our words expressing how much we've missed this closeness. 

Before the moment stretches on too long, I pull at the back of that awful polo shirt and tug it over his head, stepping out of his arms in the process. He gave me control and I am not going to waste it.

"Take off the rest of your clothes Mr. Mellark then lay down on the bed and put your hands over your head," I order, tossing his shirt to the other side of the room. I slip my stilettos back on, knowing he will appreciate the effect of me wearing them combined with me only wearing a tie. The deep groan he makes as he looks up to find me tweaking my nipples is the only confirmation I need. I don't think I've ever seen a man undress as fast as he does. And that's saying something. When his cock springs free I can't help but lick my own lips. God he is perfect. I don't ever want to see another man except for him ever again. No one could compare to him body, mind, and soul.

Finally he lays on the bed, offering himself up to me and my lip quirks up in satisfaction at the sight of his ready cock lying across his belly, waiting for me. I crawl onto the bed and lie over his body, enjoying the skin on skin contact from chest to ankles. His strong hands gather my loose hair, tugging it gently before he moves them down my body until they squeeze my ass, causing my entire body to spark alive. I thrust my tongue in his mouth, relishing how good he tastes before I sit up and order him to pull down my panties. He takes his time, staring at my skin and my center, before I stand up in the bed and pull my legs out of them, kicking them aside. I kneel back down, pressing them down on either side of his body, and undo the tie, sliding it slowly across my breasts as he stares at me with wanton glee. My expression reflects his own as I snap the tie hard in my hands before bending over and tying his wrists tightly to the ornate bed frame. 

"Is it too tight?" I whisper in his ear.

"A little," he says gruffly as he tests it out, to which I answer, "Good."

I swing my leg over and position myself so I am straddling his face and I can grab onto his cock. 

"Show me how a real man makes a woman cum, Mr. Mellark," I say firmly stroking him. 

"Yes ma'am," he answers before I feel his tongue delves between my folds. I can barely concentrate on him as the master gets to work. I grind on his face, not even caring if he can breath as his dexterous tongue plunges in and out of me before circling furiously around my clit. "Oh God!" is the only thing I can get out, as my limbs start to shake at the throbbing sensation in the entire lower regions of my body. And then suddenly I feel him swallowing, his thick tongue undulating as he is drinking all he can of my arousal. And that does it for me. I scream his name as my legs clamp around his head and my hands hold onto his cock like it is the pommel of a saddle. 

When my shuddering body calms down, I collapse forward and I take deep breaths, feeling like jello and his stomach shakes under me as he laughs. 

"I take it that was good for you?" he says a little short of breath and I laugh weakly back.

"Yes it was Mr. Mellark," I answer. "I hope I didn't hurt you."

He chuckles before answering, "No, but I'm a little frustrated right now." I lift my head to see him red and throbbing, harder than ever. So I do something about it. I take him in my mouth, licking the precum off his tip first, then I start sucking and bobbing up and down. He is groaning in frustration behind me as he thrusts up. I know he wishes his arms were free to grab me, but he is completely under my control. I take a deep breath and take him all the way down my throat until I feel the thick curls of his base tickling my nose. I then swallow so the muscles of my throat squeeze him tightly, rewarded by his stomach tightening like a taut string. 

"Fuck Katniss... I can't... I need you too..." But he can't get the words out. I release him, leaving a trail of saliva on his shaft and swing around and smile like the cat who had just eaten the canary. 

"You’re going to have to tell me what you want Mr. Mellark," I say rubbing my center up and down his stomach while my fingers leave tracks on his chest. "And use your name for me."

His nostrils flair, eyes dark pools that swallow me in and he answers with authority. "My Little Kat, I need you to ride me hard, right now. Please," he says with desperation.

I kiss his chest as my answer before I reach over to the dresser, open and pull out a condom. I deftly open it, slide it down his cock before taking him in my hand and line myself over him. His hands tighten on his bonds, ready for me and I plunge down, gasping as he stretches me. There is no more better feeling on this earth then being filled by Peeta Mellark. It's not because he's so thick, which is a bonus, it's because it's him that is making me feel complete. As I gaze into his eyes that show so such much love and passion, it makes my whole body crackle with a fire I have never experienced with another person. I could stay in this moment forever. 

Peeta grits his teeth and starts thrusting up, doing what he can without his hands to help him. I answer by bouncing lightly up and down on him hard, enjoying every ridge of his cock as it slides in my body. I can feel that burn again and I push on his chest, that euphoria just out of reach as we grunt and moan with every slap of our skin against each other. But I need more, this is not enough. So I reach forward and release his hands and immediately thread my fingers through his. I don't need the control anymore, I want it to be about making love, not fucking. So we clutch our hands tightly over his head as I undulate back and forth, never breaking eye contact with him as he seems to swell impossibly larger in me. 

"Peeta... I love you..." I gasp as my orgasm hits me hard, and I practically howl out the last word, before collapsing on him. 

He turns me over and pulls one leg over his shoulder, hitting an angle that makes me aware again of my surroundings and keen in pleasure. "I love you too Katniss," he answers through gritted teeth before he empties himself into the condom, his body pulsing with every spurt. 

We are spent, boneless, satiated creatures who cling to each other with a happiness never experienced by either of us before. We are both finally free. Free to be with each other and share this moment without something hanging over our heads. He's practically crushing me as he kisses me over and over again all over my face, his hands in my hair, his penis still buried deep. I am ready to call it a night and sleep but then the door bangs open hard causing us to break apart fast. Peeta jerks away so quickly he miscalculates the space he has on the bed and rolls off it, falling on his plump bottom, hard. I clutch the blankets around me to see Johanna tapping her foot looking amused. Of course Delly and Madge are behind her craning their necks to look in.

"Okay Brainless and now Boneless, the porno is over, not that we didn’t enjoy the “Oh Peeta!”. They want you out here in 5 minutes. Make it 10 so you can clean the skank off of each other," Joanna says with laughter in her voice. Before she turns around she looks up and down a stunned Peeta, a wicked smirk on her face. "I can see why Katniss got dicknotized. Damn boy." And then she shuts the door tightly behind her with a muffled "9 minutes" coming through the door.

"Are they always like that?" Peeta asked as he rubs his sore bum. I reached over and massage him as well. Girlfriend duties I figured. 

"Yes. And you better get used to it because they're family now," I answer with a light smack. The happy almost boy-like look on his face is unexpected.

"Family. I like that," he says before kissing me on the forehead. 

________________________

"Katniss, for goodness sakes, I am almost done. If you don't keep still I am going to stab you with these scissors... on purpose." 

Cinna is usually so calm but he's just about had it with me. Once we left the shelter of the room, Portia whisked Peeta away to work on his "new look" while Cinna is doing the same for me. I've been fidgeting ever since, waiting for him to be done with my hair. Now that I have Peeta back, I'm anxious to not be separated from him until we finally have a safe place to land. With how crazy everything is, I'm expecting anything to happen. 

"What do you think?" Cinna spins me around in my chair so that I can finally look at myself in the bathroom mirror. At first I have no words, since it takes me a while to get adjusted to the drastic change to my hair. Although it still contains the soft waves it's always had, my once long hair has been cut completely off above my shoulders in an A-line style. No longer is it chocolate brown but now it is a soft honey color. My makeup has been completely been wiped clean and replaced with one that makes me actually look younger than my age. It's a shock for sure but I find myself smiling into the mirror. It feels like a new start. 

"I love it Cinna," I say turning around and hugging him. 

"Now you're ready to disappear. But I hope not for long because I'm going to miss you." 

"Me too Cinna. Thank you so much for being there for me through everything," I say into his shoulder as I hug him tightly. 

"Now let's go see this man of yours,” he says when we pull away. We step out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom suite where Portia is finishing her touches on Peeta. When he turns around and I take him in I completely break out into tears. His golden curly hair is gone. It's cropped short and dyed to a bronze color closer to Finnicks. His eyes are also no longer their dazzling blue but obscured by contact lenses that make them brown. But his beautiful smile is exactly the same as he sees me, so thus the waterworks. 

"What's wrong?" He asks rushing over to me in alarm. "Baby what is it? You look beautiful."

"We... just... look so different. And... what if... Prim is looking for us... she ...won't recognize us." I can barely get the words out and I know I'm not making sense.. It wasn't until I saw him when it hit me, how everything is going to change from here on out. 

"It'll be okay Katniss. She will always know it's you, and she will always love you," he says enveloping me tightly and rubbing my back. His warmth and scent soothe me and the tears slow down to a trickle. So much for being a tough girl.

"And also I don't want to be holed up at Plutarch's," I whine pathetically in his chest, wiping my face on his clean t-shirt. He just chuckles and says, "I know kitten." 

"Don't worry sweetheart, you're not going there anymore." I turn to see Haymitch leaning against the doorway, his hands shoved in his pockets. Sae is behind him, but when she sees my face she pushes passed him causing him to grunt, and starts rubbing my back too. 

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"Plutarch is a delusional bastard if he thinks the FBI is going to do anything he wants just because he's ‘important’. We've arranged a safehouse for you, not in the Los Angeles area. We have another one for Glimmer. And you're leaving in ten."

"But what if we don't want to go into Witness Protection Haymitch? Katniss wants to make sure she has a chance to see her sister again." Peeta asks before I can even open my mouth.

"It's just protective custody kids, until this whole thing blows over. Just trust me okay?"

My raised eyebrow says I don't so he sighs and rubs his face. "Well don't trust me, but just do me a favor and for once in your life listen to me." He grumbles about damn ingrates and is out the door again. 

“It's not forever right?" I say trying to reassure myself. "And at least the three of us have each other."

"Katniss I'm not going with you," Sae says taking my hand. "Baby girl you'll be fine without me and I need to stay close to Prim. Just in case. You've got Peeta to watch over you now. But she don't got anybody. I might not be legally able to get within 100 ft of her, but at least I can be close by for the both of us."

"Thank you Sae," I say, choking back some tears, pulling away from Peeta so I can hug the old lady that is even more of a mother to me than my own. She knows we both need for her to do this.

"Just be safe okay? Snow's men might still go after you."

"Why'd anybody wanna harm a little old lady like me? Anyway this boy of yours arranged it so that I can stay with his tia. I know I can't go back to my restaurant but I've got eyes everywhere, so it's covered. We will get her back baby girl. Momma's on the case."

"I love you so much." My words muffled in her shoulder as I try not to cry again.

"And I love you too baby girl. And I know this boy will treat you right. You deserve this, never forget it."

Everything is a blur after that. First I say goodbye to Cinna and Portia before they quietly slip out the door. Then it's a flurry of busty girls all hugging me goodbye and many more tears are shed by my friends. I'm surprised to see even Johanna's face blotchy with tears, but Delly is there hugging her, telling her it's going to be alright. It hurts that I won't be seeing them for who knows how long. I hate that I won't be there to make sure they are okay. I just hope that somehow we'll find our way back to each other again. The Kitty Ranch as we know it is over. 

On the way out of the Casino is when I lose Sae. She just gives me a kiss on the cheek before blending in with the other blue haired ladies again. She refuses a ride back to Los Angeles from anyone, already having made travel arrangements with a senior group trip. Peeta squeezes my hand tightly, before bringing it to his lips, his silent assurance that she will be okay.

We say goodbye to Haymitch last, as he escorts us the the mini van which will start our trip. Before I stop in I turn around to see a look of sadness cross his face and I find myself turning around to hug him, and to my surprise he hugs me back. In the room Peeta told me to take it easier on Haymitch that he meant well, and I know he is right. Now matter how much Haymitch might piss me off, at the end of the day he is still family.

"You smell like an abandoned brewery," I say into his shoulder.

"Don't get into trouble okay? ‘Cause I be there to get you out of it." He answers before letting me go, his eyes a little red. 

"And you watch after sweetheart for me," he says to Peeta as they clasp hands. Peeta agrees and thanks him for all his help, and for a moment they are caught up in silent communication. And then that's it. We are in the back of the van, speeding down the highway and I'm not sure where they are taking us. But Peeta's arm is around my shoulders comforting me as I lean against him. We are both starting to doze off after all the stress and exhaustion has hit us after being up for so long. The sun is starting to break into the sky on my left and it reminds me of Peeta's favorite color . With him here, kissing my forehead sleepily, whispering he loves me, I know somehow it is all going to work out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I am sorry for the delay but I hope it was worth the wait. Next chapter will have a small Prim POV! So let me know what you think. Thanks to all those who have supported this story - my awesome beta demona424 and those who pushed me to get this updated, especially chele20035.


	30. Living Out loud

**5 Months Later - Spring**

**Prim’s POV**  
"The Opera Gala is the most important one of the season and your telling me I have been disinvited!"

The jarring sound of a ridiculously expensive crystal vase shattering into countless little pieces echoes down the hallway. I instinctively crouch further into my hiding spot by the door, despite the fact she can't see me looking through the small opening. This is not the first valuable object she has broken and it won't be the last. It burns an anger deep in my chest that something that would have paid our rent for an entire year is just laying in pieces on the floor because of her ridiculous tantrum. This has been an ever increasing occurrence since my sister revealed her true nature on television.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Coin I tried to speak to the committee but they aren't taking my calls," my grandmother’s newly hired PR agent meekly murmurs. 

"That is unacceptable. What the hell am I paying you for if not to clear up the lies that bitch spewed. She has ruined my life," she shrieks.

I sigh, exasperated. This conversation is getting me no new information, although the chance was small to begin with. I slowly unbend myself and tiptoe quietly away. All she ever does is curse my sister for destroying her reputation, but it looks like she knows just as much about what happened to her or Sae as I do. 

I weave through the mansion until I find my favorite closet in an abandoned wing and curl up in the corner. I need this dark lonely spot to think and clear my foggy head. I start biting my nails and then pull my hand away immediately, clutching it with the other. I can't afford grandmother finding chewed up nails again. The last time she yelled at me for an hour about how I was as worthless as my mother before taking me to the saloon to have a full buff and polish complete with acrylic nails and god I hate those things. 

My grandmother effectively has complete control of my life. I'm not allowed to see Rory except in school or hang out with any of my other friends, I'm not allowed to go anywhere except where she wants me, I'm not allowed to be anything other than perfect. I am just my grandmother’s living doll to parade around to the world. And it's only my own fucking fault.

I'm so stupid, so so stupid, I can't help but repeat it over again. Something that has been in the back of my mind since the day I lost my sister forever. I don't feel like a real person anymore and sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to be. I walk around in a cloud, doing what I have to, overwhelming guilt constantly keeping me from being able to think clearly. All I can see now is my sisters anguished face and nothing else. All I hear are the echo of my own words telling her to go. But I had to, I had to do it before grandmother destroyed her, I couldn’t let that happen to her. It doesn't make me feel any better though. 

I don't know how long I stay hiding from the world in that closet, kind of between awake and asleep. It is blessedly quiet so my brain runs back and forth on the timeline that my life has taken since my grandparents came into it. I was so happy to know she existed, that she wanted to know me. The woman I remember meeting is a complete 180 from the controlling bitch who she really is. She was nice, almost sweet, and she cared. She was going to help our family. She was going to get mom help for her drug problem. She was going to give my sister a chance to stop working so hard to support us and finally go to school like she deserved. We would be a family. 

But that was a lie, she only cared about me becoming her perfect replacement daughter; being the person my mother could never be for her. I realize that now. But this knowledge is too late to be of any use. But my sister lied to me too and in so many ways the lie was far worse. She was a prostitute. She sold her body. She sacrificed her entire life for me, who didn’t deserve it. She kept everything from me.

Tears start to spill for the countless time and I tuck my head into my knees. I'm so mad at her for doing that; for not telling me. I'm so hurt she couldn't trust me. And I'm so mad at myself for believing her lies. And now I've lost the person I love most in the world. 

 

I need to talk to someone, but that someone can't be found, disappearing after her revelations about a drug dealer named Snow and our own grandmother. And somehow I know she was involved in the gunfight that happened at Circus Circus. Little details were given to the news, but my gut tells me she was there. I just don't know if she's alive or dead. But I can't think that way or I feel like I'll drown. I need to find her, I need to know what is going on and sitting, crying in the closet won't help anything. 

I wipe any remnants of tears and pull out my compact to check to see if my face is a blotchy mess. Grandmother never wants to see me upset, it would make her look bad. Once I decide I look fine enough, I leave my small sanctuary and enter the main living area, which as usual is a bustle of activity. I weave through the large mansion until I get to my grandfather's study, and cautiously peep my head into the door. As predicted he is asleep. I think that is his protective measure from his wife, to just sleep away his life when he is not smoking cigars at his club. I softly pad into the room and instantly I find what I was seeking on the desk right next to him - his cell phone. Mine was taken away and I am not allowed communication with anyone without the permission of grandma Coin. I pick it up carefully and creep back out, immediately going to the bathroom next to his study. 

The ring is excruciating long, but finally it’s picked up. 

"Hello," I hear a deep voice answer that fills my body with warmth and yearning. 

"Rory, it's me Prim..." I whisper back.

______________________________________________  
**Katniss’ POV**

At the moment I feel like a cat, finding the best sunspot and curling up for a moment, soaking in the rays. There is only a slight breeze out here in the woods and I don't even notice the scratchy leaves under my body. I rarely got to experience moments like these, moments just for myself between working at the Ranch and taking care of Prim. So I’m taking my time to appreciate it now, even if I’m not quite enjoying it. I can’t help think it would be better if I had a certain lithe blonde girl lying next to me, giggling about something silly that puts a smile on my face too. 

I let out a deep sigh, knowing the momentary peace is pretty much gone, and my familiar friend unease has settled back in it’s familiar place in my gut. The breeze becomes colder and the sky a little darker so I get up and gather my things. Peeta gets nervous if I’m away from him more than an hour and I think it’s almost been two hours out here in the woods. He was painting when I left so I hope that extended my time a little bit before he sends out the hounds. 

After picking up my blanket, I bend down and wrap my fingers around the warm smooth wooden grip of my bow that I had been using earlier. I let it rest on my fingertips for a moment, feeling it’s perfect light balance, and it calms me a bit. There is not much to do out here while we wait for the authorities to clean up Snow’s drug ring, thanks to the help of Glimmer’s information. But not doing much is something I am a big failure at. The first month I paced our house like a cooped up wildcat. And after Peeta and I got into one too many fights because of my bad humor, he none to gently suggested I start a hobby that would help relax me a bit. A hobby that would not require making racket in the middle of nowhere with the use of a gun. So to spite him I decided to shot an arrow instead, something my father had taught me when I was younger but gave up after he died. And something I'm quickly finding out I am very good at. 

Just as I'm about to take down my bow, there is a large snap of a twig and I quickly load my bow with an arrow, draw, and point in the direction of the sound. 

"Wow there Errol Flynn. Don't shoot, it's only me," a deep and soothing voice comes out. Peeta's mop hair comes into view soon afterwards, his hands up in the air.

"Errol Flynn? Really? Do I look like a man to you?" I answer, lowering my bow and start taking it down and putting the parts away. My hands are still a little shaky from the rush of adrenaline so I turn my back on him so he doesn't see how easily rattled I am. 

I feel a large hand on my back, warmth seeping through my jacket and shirt as it rubs slow soothing circles and I can feel my muscles start to relax. We are both not easy people to deal with. I have a hot fiery rash temper, while he is more slow burning and reserved. But we each know the small ways to balance the other. 

"Little Kitten, what's a matter?" he asks gently, but I can still detect the concern in his voice. He steps behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. I pull them around me tighter and relish his heartbeat on my back. 

I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat and gather my words. "It's Prim. Peeta, it's killing me. I know something is wrong. I can feel it in my bones. And I know something is wrong. I can't stand it Peeta. I can't stand not knowing what is happening to her." I start to shake again, trying to control my emotions and Peeta just pulls me in tighter, resting his chin on my shoulder as we sway there in the evening breeze until I get control of myself again. Somehow he always knows when to say something and when to just silently support me. 

"Do you want to try and reach out to Sae, see what she's found out?" he whispers this softly into my ear, knowing there are sharp ears close by. I nod my head slightly in reply.

"Well then, I think it's time we relax in our room for a bit before dinner. I already have stew simmering in the pot," he says this a little louder before releasing me, and helping me gather up the rest of my things. 

Life in protective custody is not what I expected it to be, the good and the bad. The good part is we ended up in a little town near Santa Cruz County called Felton. After living so long in the desert of Vegas or the urban sprawl of Los Angeles, living amongst lush trees is a welcome reprieve. Our home is nestled in the redwood forest far away from prying eyes and I am discovering the joy of the quiet green beauty of this area. 

We break through the trees into the open area before our place and I stop and stare down at one of the bad parts. Well, not so bad, but very annoying. Agent Castor is apparently asleep on a hammock, snoring softly, but I know better. Sure enough he “pretends” to wake up and greets us both with his usual cheery smile. 

He is one of our two constant guards - along with Agent Pollux. Unless I am in my bedroom or the bathroom one of them is always around to make sure I'm safe. They pretend to give me space but they are never far. This time he stayed in the open grass, giving me my room to shoot, but I always stayed in his direct line of sight. The real bad part of this arrangement is that they actually put an ankle bracelet on me like I'm a criminal on house arrest. I disappeared for a day one time and they completely freaked out on me. Geesh. Just because a couple of Snow's "associates" who were going to testify against him happened to have disappeared at the same time, the only evidence found being some fingers, doesn't mean I need an ankle bracelet. It doesn't help that I still refuse to officially go into the Witness Protection Program. I should put a hit on Snow's life for taking away my freedom.

“Hey Kitten, come on,” Peeta says into my ear, gripping my hips with his large hands and nudging me forward. It sends a thrill up my body like it always does. I wonder if I’ll ever get tired of how this man makes me feel physically and emotionally mentally. But I doubt it. 

When I enter the cabin, and Agent Pollux gives me a smile from where he is sitting in the living room, a newspaper in front of him. Again he looks casual, but from this vantage point he can keep an eye on Peeta in the kitchen and look out the window towards where I was shooting. 

“We’re heading to our room,” Peeta says, rubbing his hand up and down my side smoothly, communicating without words that we want to be left alone for awhile, and why. 

Agent Pollux just nods his head and turns back to his newspaper. He is never one for words, like ever, which is a break from Agent Castor who can't stop talking. We make our way up the stairs to our large loft bedroom, and Peeta locks the door while I put some music on the radio, just loud enough. Peeta pries open the floorboard to reveal the cell phone he has been hiding, the one we shouldn't have in our possession. In all of the agents precise measures to keep me safe they made one mistake, they let Haymitch pick our hiding place, a place that happened to be owned by a one Johanna Mason. A woman who has no trust for "the system" and has set up her own system to keep off the grid so as not be tracked. Like untraceable cell phones hidden under floor boards. 

Peeta dials the only person we ever call, and hands me the phone while it rings. We sit side by side on the bed, his hand stroking my back as I wait for the line to pick up. In the last three months Peeta has been so good at learning my body signals and what the best things to do to help soothe me. 

"Hello?" Is the old gravely voice on the other line. 

"Sae, it's me Katniss."

"Baby Girl! I'm so glad you called," is the answer on the other line and a small smile flits on my face, but only briefly because I can tell when her cheerfulness is faked.

"Sae, I need to know if you found out how she's doing. I've been feeling uneasy lately. Please tell me she's okay." There is a long sigh followed by silence on the other end that tells me no, everything’s not okay.

"Child, I went to visit Hazelle. And before you say anything I went to Gale's shop so they don't know where I'm staying." Sae knows me too well and that I fear she will be tracked down one day by Snow's men. "Anyway Rory, was working. He was pretty upset that he's been cut off from her. She has two body guards at school and only 'approved people' are allowed to talk to her and he is not on that list. He says she looks terrible. Honey, she's lost a lot of weight and our little duck has no spirit in has left her. But she actually managed to call him. She's real scared of her grandmother Katniss. She's become completely unpredictable."

I let out a small sob as I clutch the phone. I feel so helpless not being able to protect my sister. 

"There is one more thing," she whispers lowly. I can hear the buzz of Spanish voices around her that indicates she is not quite in a private place. "That puta is planning to take her to Europe and never come back. We need to get her out."

"How Sae? Not even Rory can get close to her." I more plead than ask. 

"I don't know. But know this, the last thing she told Rory was that she misses us baby. She regrets not listening to you from the beginning. Hold on to that. We can get her back. It's not too late. We'll figure it out. Call me 18 hours from now. There is something I might be able to do. Okay sweetpea?"

We say our goodbyes, knowing we talked too long and I immediately turn to Peeta, letting him envelope me in his arms, his chin on my head as I tell him everything Sae said. 

\-------------------------------

Two hours later we still haven't emerged from our bedroom. Peeta and I are lying under our bedcovers despite the fact it's early evening. I'm half on top of him, my leg wedged between his thighs, his arms securing me into place. His hand threads through my hair as my body starts to relax with every rise and fall of his breath. 

He put us there after I told him everything and just held me as I processed it all. It hasn't been like riding into the sunset after we drove away from the Snow business. I've had bouts of depression from my entire life crushing down on me; Prim an ever present reminder of my failure to protect her. That's all I ever wanted to do and I messed it up in so many ways. When I get overwhelmed by what a screw up I am, I don't want to leave bed, so I don't. But Peeta has never tried to push more, or give me false words that it'll be alright. He just holds me and provides for me. He kisses me on the forehead and tells me how much he loves me. He really knows me better than I know myself sometimes. But it goes both ways when it comes to us.

I know he is worried that I will fall right back into one, so he is trying to keep me tethered here with his kisses. But this time I'm not going anywhere. Sae said it's not too late. I am holding onto that one sliver of hope tightly, repeating it over and over. I can get her back. I can apologize for all the ways that I failed her. I can make sure she has the life she deserves, not the one her grandmother wants to force on her. I just need to figure out how. 

"I can practically hear your mind whirling. You're trying to figure it out aren't you?" Peeta says running his fingers through my hair. 

"Do you think Sae is right? Do you think it's not too late?" 

"Of course I do. Nothing is impossible if we figure it out together."

"But how can she forgive me Peeta. How can you? I've been a whore for years. How can you forgive that. 

"We've been over this and I am not going into it again just because of Prim. You know I'm no saint Katniss. And newsflash, neither is your sister. No matter how angelic you like to imagine she is. She loves you. And if it is even one ounce of the amount that you love her, she will forgive you. She will want to be with you again. Okay?"

There is no room for argument with him here, and he is right. I need to stop doubting myself and my sister. At the time I did what I had to and whether it was for good or bad, I have to deal with the now. So I mumble an okay before lifting myself up enough to look at him. 

"So if we are doing this, how do we lose the two shadows? I won't be able to leave the area with this thing strapped to my ankle," I say lifting up my foot and wiggling it for him to see. Peeta lets a deep rumbling laughter that vibrates deliciously through my body.

"That's my girl. Ready to figure things out," he says brushing my hair back, a twinkle in his eye. "I have a feeling Sae will have something to say about that. What the hell is her story anyway? She's definitely... ummm.... interesting.”

I let out a small laugh and put my head back on his chest. "Don't even ask,” I say, giving a little chuckle myself. I lift up my head and look down at him. He wets his lips, leaving a soft sheen on them that is enticing. "She is a deep well of secrets I barely know the surface of. It's better to leave it be and think she's the old sweet lady that she is."

"Hmmm... okay if you say so," he answers, but he doesn't sound convinced. My smile creeps a little higher at this. Many have tried to understand the mystery that is Sae, but a rare few will ever really know. He'll just have to live with disappointment.

A peaceful silence settles over us as Peeta starts stroking my back again. My eyes are feeling heavy and I'm just drifting off when there are three very loud raps on the door. "It's time you come down you too."

I lift my head and give Peeta a little mischievous grin before I yell out, "Come on in!" The door rattles, muffled frustrated words, before it clicks proving there is no real locked doors in this place.

"Hey you've been... oh God! Really? Put on some damn clothes!" Castor yells as he shields his eyes. My body shakes from my own suppressed laughter and Peeta's as well. When there is nothing to do, sometimes making the guys uncomfortable is our only entertainment. This time it was easy since we were lying on top of the bed naked. When I need comfort, skin to skin contact with Peeta always works the fastest, so he had shed our clothes after our call and held me close. What can I say, we all have our own coping methods that work very well for us.

"Come down in 10 minutes. With clothes on please," Castor repeats, muttering to himself about being stuck with nymphos. He's actually an amiable guy but I guess nudity is the limit for him. Pollax is behind him, silently laughing too. He just shakes his head at us before closing the door again. 

"Okay, so now that we got a few more minutes, let's figure out how to shake off Jay and Silent Bob," Peeta says once he's collected himself. 

"It all depends on what Sae has in mind, but I think I have an idea..." 

__________________________________________________________

Three days later and the plans are set. My stomach is tight with worry, and not because we are going to leave, but how we are doing it. I know Peeta’s idea is pretty brilliant, but it just doesn’t sit right with me. But here I am, in front of my bathroom mirror, putting on just enough makeup to have that “happy glow” which will be just one of the first steps in convincing the guys. 

“Katniss you look beautiful,” I hear Peeta say behind me. I look up into the mirror and see him standing there only in his boxer briefs, smiling at me through the mirror. With that cut body, shining deep blue eyes and now wild curly auburn hair, he is the beautiful one. 

“Get dressed so we can get this over with,” I say shaking my head at him. 

“I am wounded madam that at a monumental time like this you just want to ‘get it over with’,” he answers, a sparkle in his eyes. I just tell him to scoot and finish getting ready, so by the time I’m out of the bathroom, he is as neat as ever in a pressed jeans and crisp baby blue shirt. I will definitely have to teach this man how to wear slouchy clothes. I don’t think he knows how. 

Peeta comes towards me and envelopes me in a hug that I gladly accept. “You ready? Last chance before we start this,” he gently says before kissing me on the forehead. 

I look at him with determination. “I’m ready Peeta.” 

We walk down the stairs, hand in hand, the guys already sitting in the living room waiting for us. 

“Good mornings” are greeted on all sides as we descend the stairs and Peeta gives me one last look, silently asking for permission, before proceeding. 

“So we have an announcement to make,” he tells them. “I asked Katniss if she wants to marry me and she said yes!” Now if we told this news to girls, there would be high pitched screams filling the air. But since these are men, government men at that, they just give some polite smiles and congratulations. 

“There is one favor I would ask. Katniss does not have a ring and I would like for us to drive to Santa Cruz to get her one.” 

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea Peeta,” Agent Castor says with clear disapproval in his tone. 

"Please, I don't feel really engaged until I have one," I say wrapping my arms around Peeta and putting my head on his shoulder. 

"Santa Cruz is too big, you may be noticed there, we can go into Felton," Agent Castor replied. 

"You know there is no jewelry stores in Felton. Santa Cruz is still a small town, and they don’t care about old news. We’ll be okay. This just means so much to both of us,” Peeta answered in a confident soothing voice. He always knows the exactly right thing to say. 

The agents exchanged looks, and Pollux nodded his head in silent consent. “Alright, but in and out. We are going nowhere else. Got it?” Castor says in exasperation. We exchange smiles at each other, one battle won. 

Three hours later and we are walking into an old school jewelry shop. You know the type of place. It's probably been in the town since it’s inception, hasn't been redecorated since the 70's, and the staff have been here just as long. It's feels like perfect place to find a ring. Castor and Pollux come inside with us, to my annoyance. The store owner is a white haired friendly man peering over thick black rimmed glasses. When we tell him we are looking for an engagement ring, his face beams with happiness for us and probably for himself as well. 

“Now let’s go over here so I can show you my engagement rings,” he says motioning us over. 

“Umm.. I was wondering if you can show me rings that are unmounted and could hold this?” I ask shaking more than I should as I pull my precious pearl from the silk satchel in my purse. 

“Katniss? You still have it?” Peeta asks, his voice catching with emotion. I look up at him and his blue eyes catch my breath catches with how bright his blue eyes they are with unshed tears. 

"Of course silly," I say taking his hand and swinging it between us. "Do you remember that night? All the craziness of that damn party," I pause and I swallow the lump in my throat before continuing, "But all I remember is that you said you loved me. This is the most precious item I have ever owned." And there my voice goes, cracking as I try to keep it together. He just nods before leaning forward and touching his forehead to mine. Both our eyes close for a moment as we enjoy this intimacy, and I hear him whisper, “I love you.” So I answer it back. 

We hear a little cough and we look up to see the three other men in the room, Pollux a goofy smile on his face while Castor looks bored. We both had totally forgotten there was anybody else. The jeweler proceeds to pull out beautiful rings and in no time I find a perfect one. Its a simple platinum band with a cluster of three diamonds on each side. He efficiently mounts the pearl in, and when I slide it on my finger, it’s perfect. I stare down at my hand, feeling secure with it snugly on and then I can feel my smile slowly fade. This is not real, I remind myself. Peeta didn’t really ask me to marry him. It is all just a ploy to escape. 

Peeta is too good at detecting my emotions, and his eyes narrow down as he takes me in. But I shake my head slightly. Now is definitely not the time to talk about it. So he kisses my hand, a questioning look in his eyes, before he turns to the jeweler and pays cash for the ring. Once we are out, this is where our plan really goes into action. In order to make this work, we have to convince the guys that we need a celebratory drink. So Peeta puts on his best smile as he says it’s too soon to head back to the house.

“We never go out, and we are celebrating an engagement! Come on, let’s enjoy one glass of wine as a toast before we have to head back,” he says, his blue eyes completely guileless. A look of doubt passes across both Pollux and Castors expressions, but to my relief they relent and agree to just one drink as long as it’s place that serves food since none of us have eaten. 

Peeta leads us all to a street just off the main shopping area, telling the guys he knows a spot. He leads upstairs of an old Victorian to a bar restaurant called The Red. It’s a pretty nice if casual place that takes advantage of the Victorian wooden details and stain glass windows to emit an old timey speakeasy feel. I wish I could enjoy it more, especially since I’m finally out of Felton, but my stomach is too tight with nerves to really care about anything but looking calm. This is where we will see if we can escape the boys and make a break to L.A. 

We settle into some soft velvet couches next to a fireplace, I curl up as close to Peeta as possible without looking obscene in public. Peeta, the entire time keeps his hand on my lower back, giving soft circles with his thumb. I don’t know how I have lived so long without him constantly at my side. Without words needed to be exchanged he knows how to keep me calm. He is that steady heartbeat I have yearned to have for so long. He is the calm force that reminds me to keep trying, because things can get better. 

The waitress gets our order and with a small kiss on the corner of my eye by Peeta, I know it’s time to get into action. Now comes the easy part. Peeta and I get closer and closer, touching intimately, whispering intimate things into each others ears. We convince everyone, including ourselves that there is no one else into the room. Soon his sweet lips are on mine, giving me soft kisses, and my body practically melts into his. With great effort I finally push him away, and I don’t look into his eyes or I know I will just give in again. Poor Pollux and Castor are trying their best to pretend they did not just witness us getting hot and heavy. 

"Gentlemen, I am going to use the powder room," I say lifting myself off the couch daintily and make my way to where the sign indicates. When I enter I fix my hair and reapply my lipstick until I hear the door open. Looking up in time to see Peeta behind me with a smirk on his face and mischief in his eyes. He wraps his arms around me and kisses me on the cheek then we stare at each other through the mirror. 

"Too bad, we can't make out like teenagers in here like the guys think we are doing right now." he says tugging at my ear. I shake my head at him and turn around in his arms.

"Don't tempt me Mr. Mellark, but we better get a move on. There is so long they'll think we're making out in here." He nods his head, his eyes turning serious. He lets me go and grabs my hand. I squeeze it, giving him a short nod and we leave the bathroom as quietly as possible. 

Instead of going back to the mainroom, we swing a right to some stairs immediately next to the bathroom. The place has become busy, so the guys can't see us, even if they tried to keep an eye out. The stairs pop out onto a darker, more casual bar downstairs that doesn’t serve food. We go to the bar and ask an older woman with dyed red hair if she’s Ripper. 

“I’m Ripper,” she says with a terse nod. “Are you Sae’s kids?” 

Peeta and I can’t help but exchange small smiles as we both say yes. “Alright, come back with me.” She takes us to the back storage room and points to an old folding chair for me to sit down on. She's a quiet woman and not one for chit chat as she pulls out some tools from on top of a shelf and tells me to lift my foot. But even though she has a terse efficient demeanor, she gives me a kind smile which puts me at ease as she deftly unlocks the ankle bracelet and deactivates it quickly. 

“Okay, here you go. My boy is waiting out back in an old blue bronco. I hope you don’t get sick because the seats are laid flat in the back, and I want you two to cover yourself for at least half of the trip. Good luck and give that old hag a hug from me. And tell her we're even now!” 

We both thank her profusely and run out the door. The bronco is right there, her son waiting by the back. We hop in, doing as she says by covering ourselves as he slams the door behind us and soon we feel the truck lurch forward. We are on our way back to Los Angeles. 

\---------------

I'm in that weird state of slumber where I'm deep under yet aware enough to know my head is bobbing slightly against the car seat. My dreams are filled with blonde pigtails and the sweetest smile that makes me ache so much. I can feel myself frown, the sadness pressing down on me as I reach for the intangible, but it fades further when I feel a squeeze of my hand. I open my eyes just as we are pulling off the freeway, and I see Peeta smiling gently down on me before his eyes go back on the road. 

"Are we here?" I say stretching my cramped limbs and turning my body towards him. 

"Yes my love. Finally home," he says pulling my hand up so he can kiss my palm. He then zigs through the empty streets of East L.A. until he pulls into his old parking spot at Tia Mag's bakery. In San Luis Obispo, Ripper's son had dropped us off at our next mode of transportation - a black Tesla - a gift from Finnick. In it was a note that we'd better not be gone forever, because he needed us crazy kids back in his life. 

I teased Peeta for a good twenty minutes that he couldn't resist driving a sports car again. I didn't tell him that I didn't mind at all staring at his forearms as he handled the turns. He good naturedly argued back that the silent electric car would sneak past any potentially waiting authorities. It was good to see him happy as we flew down the highway, and I don't blame him because we've both felt like trapped animals these past months. 

Before I can move, Peeta has bounded around the car and opened my car door so he can assist me out. He gives me a quick kiss, as he pulls me into his chest and I'm happy to make it longer. But we are both tired and stumble slightly as we walk up the metal stairs, slightly leaning on each other for support. It's such a relief when he unlocks the door and we step into his place. When he flicks on the lights, I do feel like I've come home. This place is just filled with so much of Peeta's personality and our best private times have been here, that I can't help feeling safe and content as I look around. 

I drop my purse on the floor and hear a twang. I look down to see the guitar that so reminds me of my father's. 

"My guitar!" I exclaim, picking it up. I plop on his couch thumping my feet on his coffee table and start to tune it. 

"I think that's my guitar Katniss," Peeta says with an amused grin, and sits down next to me. He gives a slight groan as he puts his tired legs on the coffee table. 

"Well can you play it Mr. Mellark?" I ask sincerely curious why he owns it, and he barks out a laughs and shakes his head. 

"Well why do you have it in the first place?" I ask before I start to hum softly while I play a song that is only in my head. He's silent for a moment just watching my fingers as I work the cords before he answers. 

"Well there is this girl who I met once who was performing on the street. Her voice was so beautiful the birds stopped to listen. I was a goner. But unfortunately I only met her that one time, but I never forgot her. So I went to all the music stores I could until I found a used guitar almost like the one she had so that I would have a permanent reminder of her. It's kind of my lucky charm you see. I always looked at it in tough days and it reminded me that there is beauty in the world. So you can't have it!"

I look at him and see merriment and sincerity shining through his eyes. He's shed many years since we've gotten together. Every day he more and more reminds me of that boy I met instead of the jaded man I came across our second time around. But like me there will always be a dark part that never goes away. 

"Can I at least borrow it then?" I ask swallowing the lump in my throat. 

He leans forward and touches his forehead to mine. "You can borrow it for the rest of your life with the one stipulation that you have to play it for me."

"That sounds fair," I whisper to him, my voice having a slight hitch. I look at the simple pearl ring on my left hand finger and think about the forever he's implying. I know he's said he loves me, but he can't really mean marriage for real can he? We’ve been together for such a short time. I shake it off and try to remember I promised myself I never wanted marriage. And it’s easy to forget the questions in my head when his hand starts creeping up my leg. I put the guitar carefully on the floor and follow his coaxing hand to move onto his lap, straddling him. 

"Are you sure no one will look for us here?" I ask, lacing my fingers into the curls on the back of his neck. "I would hate anyone to interrupt us right now while we are just getting comfortable," I say rubbing my heat against his increasingly hard member. 

"Yes I'm sure. Not even my parents knew of this place. Only Mags. And technically she is the owner. Hell, they didn’t even know that our relationship continued past when she was my nanny. And we'll be long gone before our shadows figure we’re here." I frown at those words - long gone. I haven't even figured anything out past getting Prim away from our grandmother. But I don't want to think that far ahead right now, not feeling like a real person again. So I start kissing Peeta along his strong jaw, leaving a trail of soft pecks as I reach the column of his neck. 

"That's good. Because this is the first time we've been truly alone since the last time we were here." Peeta pushes me back a bit looking up at me in surprise. 

"Since then? How do you figure that." If we just play answer and questions, we'll never get anywhere so I peel off his shirt and start rubbing my hands up and down his firm chest before I reply. 

"The brothel is filled with clients. Your airplane had staff. Don't think they didn't keep an ear on us while we were 'occupied' in cabin. This is the first time we've actually had no people around since you took care of me. It's just us." 

An evil smirk plays on Peeta's lips as he realizes that I'm absolutely right. His hands move up my thighs and slips underneath my dress where he discovers that I'm not wearing any panties, causing a growl to escape his lips. I'm not wearing a bra either he quickly finds out as he pulls it over my head quickly. 

"Well I guess this means we don't have to worry about being quiet, does it?" He answers, placing a warm hand on a soft breast and gently kneads it as he stares down at his movements. 

"Nope," is my simple reply as I release the leather of his belt and unzip his pants gently. 

“And you are never loud Katniss. Hmm, I think it's about time I make you scream until you lose your voice.” Saying that the look on Peeta's face is voracious is putting it lightly, as he lifts me slightly so that he can push his pants all the way down to his ankles. We are too anxious to be with each other at the moment, to think of moving to his bed, or even lying across the couch. I don't even need to be prepared by his nimble fingers. I give him a few very effective strokes with my hand before he raises me over him and he pushes me down until we are blissfully joined. We both groan loudly, and my head snaps back at the heady rush of him filling me. I don't think I will ever get tired of this sensation. No man has or ever will make me feel the way he does when we are joined. Although he is well endowed and knows how to hit all my buttons perfectly, it's not just that. It's his smell, his sounds, the way he looks at me, everything that is Peeta that makes this the best sex of my life. It is my heart and body working together with this man's own heart and body. It's wonderful and terrifying all at once. 

So he slams up into me, one strong hand gripping the back of my neck as he stares into my eyes as he licks his lips. I bounce on his lap hard, my hands holding on for dear life to his well muscled arms. My eyes roll back at how the fingers of his other hands feel digging into the flesh of my bottom. And we let it out, all the noises that we never knew we were holding in. The louder we get, the fiercer are movements become until we can’t hold back any longer and come at the same time, screaming each others names, releasing the horse sounds as pleasure courses through both our bodies. And then we are quiet, so quiet as I rest my head on his shoulder, his hands gently stroking my slick back as we enjoy the sound of each others' quick breaths, feeling the sweat on the others' body. Content and quiet. 

"I better take a shower before I go to bed," I say finally pushing off of him, and letting him slip out of me. "Do you want to join me?" 

He let's out a tired chuckle, tucking a messy strand of hair behind my ear. "No love, I think I better clean up this mess," he says looking down at his poor couch. I can't help but blush that heats my cheeks before finally getting up with a groan and padding into the bathroom. My shower is longer than it should be as I let the soothing heat relax my sore overworked muscles, just standing under it as the jets pummel my body. 

I wrap myself in a large fluffy towel and move to put the ring on my finger but it's gone from where I left it on the counter. I look in every corner of the small bathroom and it is no where to be seen. And I panic, no rational thought coming into my head of where it could be except in the sink. 

"Peeta!" I practically scream, ripping open the door. "I think the ring..." 

But my words are caught in my throat, because there he is on one knee, the ring back in it's velvet box as he offers it up to me. And he is completely naked.

"Peeta?" Is all I manage to whisper, stepping up to him cautiously, clutching the towel to my chest as I see his stunning blue brimming with hope. 

"Katniss, I don't want to have this be a pretend engagement. I've loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, inside and out. So I'm here, butt ass naked," he says making us both chuckle, "asking you to be my wife. Katniss, will you marry me?" 

Tears spill uncontrollably out of my own eyes and since I don't have the words to say yes, I just nod my head stupidly. I didn't realize until he asked just how much I wanted it so very much, with every breath of my being. Me, closed off, scared to let anyone Katniss Everdeen is clutching her now fiance for dear life, kissing him fiercely as the towel barrier is pulled away. I am going to marry Peeta Mellark, the love of my life. 

He picks me up, the smile on his face so wide I'm surprised it doesn't crack his face. He carries me to his bed and gently puts me down, with our lips join. But I feel something digging into my back, so I break apart from him, and pull the offending object. 

"What is it?" Peeta asks. I'm speechless for a moment as I stare at an envelope with my name on it. A handwriting I’m very familiar with. "It's from Prim," I finally manage to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well it looks like there will be two chapters left - the finale and an epilogue. I will work furiously on the final two chapters so it doesn't take so long this time. Thanks to everyone who has stuck by the Kitty Ranch despite long droughts. Also FYI The Red and Red Room are real places in Santa Cruz, CA. If you are ever there you should check it out!
> 
> You can follow me on tumblr at dianaflynn22.tumblr.com.


	31. And in he End - Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was only supposed to be one chapter, but unfortunately I have an inability to write small chapters, especially at the end so this is part I of 2.

Katniss' mother POV--------------------------------  


I hate this moment. More than that, I dread it with every fiber of my being. It’s the moment I avoid every single day of my life. It's the moment I become completely aware of who I am, what I have become, how I have failed at everything in life and most of all my family. It is the moment I am completely sober. 

And I hate it. I hate how I feel like my chest is going to explode, but it just won't. I would welcome it if it finally did because then I would finally cease to exist. I would cease to feel. But I can't do it myself because there are two people who keep me tethered to this earth even if they don't want anything to do with me. So I medicate. 

I grab my bottle of OxyContin and my stomach drops when I realize it's completely empty. I don't even remember taking the last pills. My hands are shaking so hard I drop the useless bottle to the floor. I need some more, now, before I start thinking too much. I'm already feeling too damn much. I stumble out of my bedroom, hoping to find something in my father’s bathroom until mother comes back. I don’t get very far, stopping when a sound catches my attention. It is a tiny sound that pulls me closer. A soft sniffle coming from my daughter's room. Quietly I approach, pushing the door open with a shaky hand. There she is sitting on the floor, a cell phone in front of her. She looks up, clearly upset and wipes her eyes, but I'm startled to see a determination in them too. 

"Is this what your childhood was like? Is this why you ran away?" She asks staring me down. 

"Like what?" I manage to stutter out, closing the door behind me. 

"Like perfection is an unattainable goal you must always try to reach and you're suffocating because of it." All I can do is nod my head. My life in this house flashing before my eyes. The constant dance recitals, piano recitals, elocution lessons, etiquette lessons, tutors, on and on. The harsh discipline, yelling, the pain, the constant disappointment, the utter lack of love. I look down at my daughter and I feel like a monster. For awhile I was blessedly free. And I let it happen to my own sweet daughter. 

“Prim…”

“No mother I don’t want to hear it,” she says getting up and grabbing a stack of envelopes. “Grandmother wants me to mail out these graduation announcements. And I have my final etiquette lesson to attend to,” she spits out bitterly, walking past me. 

“Wait, you forgot one,” I say picking up an envelope lying on her bed, but I stop when I see the name. Katniss Everdeen. 

“How can I send a letter, when I don’t know where she is,” she looks down at the envelopes in her hand, and I see tears again, which she brusquely pushes aside. “Sae and her are the only ones who really matter, and I don’t know where they are mother.” 

I tentatively wrap my arm around her shoulders, and to my relief she leans against me. “Can I take these for you?” And she nods her head, actually letting me do something to help her for once. She slides away from me then pops into my father’s room, putting the phone back on his desk, obviously having snuck it out, but I don’t say anything. As we descend the stairs the chauffeur and bodyguard are waiting for us at the entryway. 

“We don’t need your services today," I say trying to channel my mother's authority. I must be succeeding somewhat because the bodyguard actually straightens a little more. 

"But your mother..."

"My mother is out and we have things to take care of. I'm Prim's mother and I want to have some private time with my daughter." I pull out $300 and stuff it in his hand. "For your trouble." I move past him head held high, pulling Prim with me. We get into the black sedan and I don't relax until we are past the gates. 

"Mom you were... how did you get that money." Her eyes are wide with surprise and it makes me give a dry chuckle. 

"I'm a drug addict sweetheart. I know how. Now where do you really want to go?" 

"Home," she says simply, so I give the driver Sae's address. 

The house is quiet and dusty, completely lifeless. It lacks the warmth I've never before took the time to appreciate. I can barely keep up with Prim when she runs into the den. I’m confused about her motivations until a bare memory touches my brain, that is where Katniss spent her last days in the house for privacy. 

"There has to be something here to tell me where she is," she mumbles to herself as she rifles through the small amount of things Katniss has left behind. I idly pull open the side table drawer and pull out a neatly folded white paper bag that has Rosa's Panaderia stamped on it. I barely read the words before it's snatched away by eager hands. 

"This is it! She wouldn't keep anything so frivolous unless it's important." She holds it like it's the golden ticket and her eyes light up, seeing meaning that I do not. 

"I recognize this name. She's mentioned it before when.. Mom we have to go here. Please!" 

"Okay," I answer knowing that this moment I would give her anything. But that choice is taken away from us when we get reminded by the chauffeur of Prim's etiquette lessons, and no way was he going to be responsible for her missing it. I can't take the fallen expression on her face. She knows she won't get another chance like this. It was a rare opportunity. 

"Go on without me," I tell him. "I still have to mail these announcements. I can get home by myself." I squeeze Prim's hand hoping to assure her that I will try for her and for Katniss. I call a taxi and direct him to a post office, dropping them off before I give him the address on the bakery paper. I am just about to open the door when I stop cold. I see her, Sae. She is happily chatting with a customer and looks completely at ease like she's been there her entire life. This is it, she has to know where Katniss is. Before I have a chance to react, she slips through a door to a back room. I walk around to the building to the back, but with each step I take I quickly lose confidence. She is the girls fierce protector and she only tolerated my presence for love of them. She almost lost her home because of me. So as I look through the back door, watching her laugh with an old Mexican woman I completely lose my nerve. I can't do it. I can't talk to her. I'm a coward. 

I'm just turning away when through the doorway a key glinting from the sun on the wall draws my attention.By miracle, everyone seems to have gone to the front of the bakery. I sneak in silently through the screen door and grab it from where it’s hanging, and quickly shoot back outside. The orange key fob is very simple, only a bit of masking tape on it labeled Peeta. Peeta? The name is so familiar. Then suddenly my the name flashes bright and clear in my mind. This is the boy from the news, the senator’s son. The one who loves my daughter and she him. I spot some stairs on the side of the building and quickly make my way up them. I drop the keys twice before I finally can get it open. It's a beautiful well-appointed place but obviously decorated by a man, lacking warmth and keepsakes. 

My eyes wander around, not sure what I’m exactly searching for then I’m suddenly startled by what I see on the ground. It is a guitar, but not just any guitar, but an exact replica of the one my husband used to play. I pick it up, and run my finger on the string, tears slipping from my eyes as I do. This was obviously bought for Katniss. She played it so beautifully, just like her father did. I vaguely recall taking my husband's treasured instrument to the pawn shop. My need for my pills to great to care at that moment. I've not only betrayed my children but my beautiful loving husband. I feel like such a monster. I need to get out of here. I am just about to leave when I remember the last envelope in my purse. The one for Katniss. I pull it out, find a pen and leave a quick message before I put it on the bed, hoping she will somehow see this. 

"Where were you?" My mother demands immediately when I arrive back at the estate. 

"I was dropping off the graduation announcements for Prim." 

"Well at least you were useful for once today. I refilled your prescription for you. Just don't take too much at Prim's graduation." I snatch it eagerly and leave before she has anything else to say. I am grateful at this moment my mother has always found it easier to manage me medicated. I was only ever truly clear when I was with my husband. But today has been too much for me, all the demons closing in. I pull the shades of my room closed making sure no light slips through, swallow three pills and slide into bed. As bliss takes over I'm ceasing to care that I don't know what I will tell Prim.

 

Katniss POV--------------------------------  
I wish I could say sweet kisses woke me up, but it was the sun's beams shining through my eyelids that bring me to awareness. I automatically reach for the body that's suppose to be next to me, but under my fingertips I only find crumbled blankets that are not even warm to the touch. My heart dips in disappointment when I realize that Peeta is not next to me. 

How did I so quickly get used to him by my side every night? Or every day for that matter. I never thought I would need someone next to me. I rarely had a client sleep in my bed and never did I experience the depth of contentment that I do with Peeta. I look at the beautiful ring on my left finger, gleaming in the light. A promise from Peeta that he wants to be with me always. That is a word I love more and more when I think of him. Always. So here I am a feeling empty because he is not next to me. What is wrong with me? Love is what's wrong with me. And no matter how good it feels, it is also completely terrifying. 

I pull myself out from the tangle of blankets and something flutters to the ground. It’s that damn envelope which stayed on the bed last night, like a spector. It practically glows, screaming at me to take action. I stare at it, like it’s a bomb about to go off. What should be something that fills me with joy, fills me with more questions and fears of the unknown. 

The envelope holds an invitation to Prim’s graduation with two tickets to the ceremony. Inside it says “I thought you would like to have this. Love you.” But it’s not in Prim’s handwriting like my name delicately scripted the outside. It’s in my mother’s own shaky handwriting. How did they find me? How did she know where I would be? Would Prim actually want me at her graduation if I came? This simple card holds so many questions but yet a big answer. In my hands is my chance to see my sister. 

I let out a big sigh, throw on some jeans and a t-shirt before picking up the envelope and making my way out of Peeta’s loft. He and I need to discuss what we’re going to do. I make my way to the back of the bakery, opening the door to see it bustling with activity, orders and conversation yelled over the banda music thumping throughout. Tia's workers recognize me and greet me warmly as I pass, I in return say hello in shaky Spanish. Peeta’s broad shoulders are easy to spot in the back of the room, as he works at a long table ahead of me. His hands deep in dough, a simple white shirt stretched lightly on his shoulders. I’ve learned from our time together that he does his best thinking baking, especially when he’s kneading bread, so I shouldn’t be surprised that I would find him down here. 

I’m naturally a quiet walker, and with the noise around us, he doesn’t hear me as I step behind him. But his only reaction is to give a short jump as I snake my arms around his torso, splaying my hands on his taught stomach. I lean my chin on his shoulder and a powdery hand comes on top of mine to lace my fingers with his.

“How are you doing sweetheart?” He asks turning around and kissing me on the forehead. 

“I’m okay. My mind won’t stop working though. It keeps going around and can’t land on one thing or another,” I answer, and he just nods in understanding. “Where is Tia Mags and Sae?” I ask him. It doesn't surprise me at all how close those two old meddling ladies have become while living together. Sae carried her sharp business sense to the bakery, and together they have made Tia's business thrive. And sure Sae may say she is fine in whatever situation, but it makes me feel better she has someone there for her. 

“Tia’s in her office making some calls and when Sae found about the invitation she went out without saying a word.”

“Out? Out where?” I say pulling away alarmed. That woman is unpredictable and who knows what she rashly decided to do about it. 

But before he can answer Tia Mags comes rushing in with rapid exclamations in Spanish. Not only that, but Finnick comes right behind her. I can barely take a breath when she wraps me up in a tight hug, kissing me on each cheek before passing me to Finnick who lifts me in a hug with a cheerful “Kitten!” 

"Hey hey, put her down Finn. You have one of your own," Peeta says laughing. 

"Where is Annie anyway?" I ask looking around for her. 

"Oh she is at some yoga retreat in the New Mexico desert. She was having a hard time being zen when she realized she missed you and had no way of getting in touch with you. Unfortunately for her, they also took away her cell phone. But look at you! You look amazing and I have never seen Peeta smile so much." Finnick is practically bouncing on his toes with glee. 

"You do look happy mija. My sweet Peeta, he's done that for you. I can see." I don't even try to fight the grin on my face as I nod in agreement. 

"Aye, and what is this on your hand? " She asks lifting my hand close to her face. "Mijo were you finally a smart man?" She says going to Peeta and cupping his cheeks affectionately. 

"Peeta why the hell didn't you tell me you were going to ask her! How dare you sir!" Finnick said, mock indignation.

"Well you finally rubbed off on me," he says to Tia Mags, completely ignoring his best friend as a large smile spread on his face. Work seems to stop so everyone can congratulate us and look at the ring. For a moment I'm just a bride-to-be, surrounded by love, happy for what’s to come. 

But the moment doesn't last as long as I wish it would when a very familiar, and I'm not sure welcome, person suddenly blocks the light coming in from the back door stopping me cold. Gale. 

"Katniss..." he starts but has nowhere to go. 

I'm not ready to see his face. It's full of a regret that I cannot accept. Our last awful encounter floods my brain, my humiliation and his anger, it's just too much. So before he can say another word, I tell him to stop and turn away, but Peeta's strong hands are there to hold my arms. I look up at him and I see by his grim face that this visit was not unexpected. 

"What is he doing here Peeta?" I say a little too harshly. 

"Katniss, he's here to help. I've talked to him and I know you're not ready to forgive him, but just listen to him. We could use all the help we can get." His eyes plead with me, but my lips are set in a thin line. We don't need his help, ever. "Please, for me?" He adds, and they are the magic words. I can't deny him anything, even if I don’t particularly like him right now. 

I pull away from him roughly and walk past Gale with barely a glance. I just noticing his brother Rory behind him and then Sae with a sympathetic look on her face. Our hands reach for each other as I walk past and she gives it a quick squeeze for strength. "Come on let's get this over with." I say not waiting to see if he follows me outside. I don't stop until we are under a tree at the other end of the parking lot. 

"Okay you wanted to talk so talk," I say anxiously fiddling with the ring on my left hand. 

"Katniss, I'm here to help in anyway I can. I can't get out of my mind our last confrontation. What happened afterwards. I'm..." But the words never come out, the apology I'm waiting for. He is a proud man and I know it's hard for him to ever admit he is wrong. But he’s been my friend for a long time and I know him like the back of my hand. The bags under his eye, and his slumped shoulders tell me all I need to know. 

I wait patiently as Gale runs his hands through his hair, completely uneasy as he tries to find his words. I realize my time with Peeta has changed me. Just a few months ago just looking at him I wouldn't have give him a chance to speak, my temper too hot, my resolve too strong. I would have left the room and never have given him another thought. But now I know it's not worth holding on to that type of anger. The anger that burns you from the inside until there is nothing left. 

"Katniss you have to know I loved you right? Like I wanted us to marry you love?" He says, his hand suddenly reaching for mine. No, not my hand, it’s the ring on my left hand he gently plays with. 

"I know," I say softly, unable to deny our long history, my eyes open to what we've shared, and my guilt at hurting him threatening to overwhelm me. 

"I thought we would somehow work out our issues. That we were forever. Even when you broke up with me I always held the belief that you would change your mind. And then the brothel... all those men. I couldn't believe it. And it hurt that you would keep such a secret from me for so long. But what was worse was the happy glow on your face when you opened the door. The glow that I know wasn't for me. You were just with Mellark weren't you?" I just nod my head, reliving that awful moment of discovery. 

"Well that makes me feel better that it was Mellark. I went down a dark hole. I felt like you liked any man better than me as long as he had money." The angry protest is on the edge of my lips but he stops me with his hand. "Don't worry Sae set me straight. A real talking to," he says with a sheepish look on his face. "I just wish you had come to me Katniss. I know I'm not rich but maybe we could have figured it out together. So you didn't have to... But I respect that you had to make some tough choices to survive. It was just a lot to take in. So I'm sorry I judged you like that. Please forgive me. I was a complete ass and you lost your sister because of my rash decision. But please let me help you get back Prim. I want to do something now." 

I'm without words for a moment looking at my old friend and former lover. He has never said so much in his life. He has been thinking about this a long time. I’m just so tired. I’m tired of being angry, of holding resentment, of losing all the people that have been important to me. I've never been good with words so I act instead, hugging him around the waist, and after a brief moment he is wrapping his arms around me. 

"Thank you Gale. I needed to hear that. Because you were a complete ass. And when I say ass, a really really big one.” We both chuckle, but tears slip down my cheeks. I swallow the lump in my throat before I continue, “You know I never meant to hurt you right? I've just have made so many mistakes but they were mine to make. But I hope we can be friends again."

"Of course Catnip, and I should be the one asking you that," he says sounding relieved. He squeezes me one more time before stepping away, relief lighting his face. “Come on, Rory has information about Prim that I’m sure you’re anxious to hear about." 

I know we will never be the way we were, but I like this start. We walk back in and although we both are more relaxed than when we left, everyone else is not. They are all trying to look at ease but fail completely as anxiousness seems to roll off them in waves. 

I give Peeta a wavery smile and he enfolds me in his arms, kissing me on the forehead. I know he trusts me, but I know that kiss is his physical assurance to himself that I am his. I rub my face against his chest, making sure he knows without words that it's true. 

"So Rory what is going on with my baby sister," I say turning to Gale's younger brother. 

"Well first thing is that this may be our last chance to get Prim. Your grandparents intend to take her to Europe straight after the ceremony," he answers. He then proceeds to tell me all about her life after I have been gone - her grandmother's complete control of her every move, from bodyguards at school to her rigid schedule to who she is allowed to see. I also learn of the coldness, the harsh punishments, the cruelty, and her completely loneliness. It’s hard to take it all in, imagining the strictly controlled life of my sister. She has absolutely no freedom, no will of her own, no kindness and this all makes me so angry. I haven't been this angry since I faced drug dealers with a gun in front of Circus Circus. Not to sound crude, but I am ready to cut a bitch. 

“Prim doesn’t turn 18 until July, it’s in their complete rights to take her. I have no rights at all,” I say biting my lip. 

“Katniss it still doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try and get her. I mean we’ve come this far.” Peeta squeezes my side in support. 

"I agree with Peeta,” says Sae. “We’ve come this far, why stop now. So how can we get close to her? How do we get our baby back?" 

I feel the graduation letter burning in my pocket and pull it out. "My mom has the answer. The graduation tomorrow. That's our chance," I answer handing it to her. 

"So what's the plan?" Peeta says rubbing circles with his thumb on my lower back. Everyone looks expectantly and all I can do is give a short laugh. 

"I have no clue. I guess we just go and wing it?"

"Sounds like a good plan to me," Finnick says. 

“Okay Rory, tell me the details of your graduation,” I say. 

_________________________

“Come to bed Katniss. Staring at that graduation invite for another hour is not going to change anything right now.” I look up at Peeta who is holding his hand out to me, already in his pajamas bottoms, looking freshly showered and I wonder how long I was lost in thought. I take his hand and he easily lifts me up from the couch, but the movement is too fast and I have to lean against him as I get my bearing. He wraps his arms around me and I lean my head on his bare chest. 

My brain has been spinning around endlessly with the possibility of what could happen tomorrow that I physically tired myself out. I don’t think I can move so it’s nice just to lean against him, feel his comforting warmth, breathe in his scent. 

“Is this going to work out?” I ask, nestling in further.

“I don’t know but if we don’t try we won’t find out,” he says lifting me into his arms, and I only let out a small grunt of protest. 

“That old cliché?”

“Yes, that old cliche Katniss,” he says as I wrap my arms around his neck. “But it’s true. We will do everything we can to get her back and that’s what matters.”

“Hey why are you taking me to the bathroom?” I ask, realizing we are not headed to the warm inviting bed. 

“Because you stink and you need a shower,” he answers, sounding very serious.

“I do not,” I protest feebly with a bit of whine in my voice. I feel an answering chuckle vibrate deliciously in his chest. 

“Okay you don’t, but you are more tense than an angry maltese and I know showers relax you.” He places me carefully in the shower stall before turning on the waterfall showerhead. He’s right, the warm water is already starting to reach into my tense muscles and makes me feel better. He slips off his pajama bottoms and steps in behind me closing the door behind us so we are encased in the warm steam. 

“You are the most giving person I know Katniss. I’ve never known someone who sacrifices so much for the ones you love,” he says as he combs his fingers through my braid, gently releasing it.

“You always know what to do to make me feel better Katniss,” he continues. “Tonight it’s my turn to return the favor.

Peeta then squeezes some shower gel in his hands and starts lathering up my body, taking his time as he massages it into my skin. First he starts at my arms and chest, his large strong hands kneading my tight muscles as he goes. I can’t help but groan, it feels so good, and he kisses the back of my head. 

One hand lands on my breast, continuing his gently massage as the other one slides down and squeezes my hip before resting at the juncture of my thighs. “I remember a shower not to different than this where you took care of me. Do you like it when I take care of you?” His voice is husky and deep and I can feel his quickening breath behind me.

“Yes, Peeta…” Is the only thing that comes from my lips as two fingers slip between my slit and gently circle my clit. My mind finally goes blank with his deft ministrations, circling, plunging, circling. Peeta once told me the greatest pleasure I give him is when my body completely surrenders to him, overtaken by the pleasure he is giving me. And this is one of those moments. 

My legs shake and I feel like they may collapse but his other hand holds me under the ribcage, holding me up. I feel his hardness press gently against my lower back as his hips pulse to relieve some of the pressure, but he asks nothing of me, because it’s all about what I need. And I am completely his, whatever he wants, as long as long as he never stops using his wonderful hands that creates the exquisite fire that streaks through my body. 

He pulls down the extra shower head and puts it directly on my clit. I was already on the cusp, and with the jets spray, I gasp in the intense sensation. I clutch his hair to have something to hold onto as I hear him whisper into my ear, “That’s it Little Kat. You’re almost there. Come for me.” His hips snap a little harder against me, and my bottom thrusts against him in return. 

His words coax out my orgasm. First it’s slow, just pleasant ripples but it builds and builds until I see nothing but white and feel nothing but immeasurable pleasure. Peeta groans in my ear and I feel him release on to my back. 

“Feel good baby?” he asks as I catch my breath, and all I can do is nod my head and go ‘mmm hmm.’ 

Peeta gives my body a final rinse before turning off the shower, and helps my now very relaxed limbs get out of the shower. He wraps me in a large soft towel before picking me up again and carrying me to bed where he gently lays me on the open covers. 

My eyes immediately start closing when my head hits the pillows, but I am wrong when I assume that the pampering was over. I hear him shuffling for a few moments next to the bed, before I feel his warm hands on my shoulder. I sluggishly open eyes to see that he is massaging lotion into my body. 

“Need to keep make sure your skin stays nice and soft don’t we?” He says with a sly smile. 

“Oh definitely, Peeta. Would be travesty if my skin was dry.” Just like with washing my body, he is methodical and thorough. By the time he is massaging the lotion into my thighs and calfs I can’t help but doze off. It’s not until I hear him open a dresser do I wake up again. 

“Don’t bother with the PJ’s” I say reaching for him, and he puts down the bottoms he had in his hands. “They are highly overrated.”

“They are aren’t they?” he says crawling in and throwing the covers over us. I shift into his side and get as close as I can, sliding my hand over his firm smooth chest, and enjoy his heartbeat under my palm. 

“Thank you for this,” I mumble out, barely containing a yawn. 

He grabs the hand resting on his chest and kisses my palm. “Your welcome.”

“I love you, you know that?” I say just as he is drifting off to sleep. “I just don’t feel like you’ve heard it enough.” I feel his finger lift my chin and I see the sparkle in his eyes that tell me he’s beyond happy. 

“I love you too Katniss.” He gives me a gentle but firm kiss on my lips, then on my nose, then my forehead. I sigh in contentment and we both fall into slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I felt like there was so much to tell it needed to be split up in two parts. It is the last chapter to start off with a different POV - Katniss' mother. The 2nd part is almost finished so I hope to get this to you in less than 2 weeks. I hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you think. This chapter is dedicated to papofglencoe for her birthday (albeit belated). I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> You can find me at dianaflynn22.tumblr.com.


	32. When Quiet Voices Become Loud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is it, the final chapter before the epilogue. I hope you enjoy it!

I climb out of Sae's old Lincoln, smoothing down my bunched up dress, and quickly slide on my sunglasses as the boisterous noise of excited happy families hits me. We decided it was best to take her car, no matter how ancient and clunky it may be because Peeta's flashy sports car arriving at my old high school would definitely call unwanted attention. Thankfully Peeta insisted on driving us because although there are many things I miss about Sae, her driving is definitely not one of them.

I feel so exposed out in the open of the uncovered concrete parking lot and I look around anxiously hoping we don't stand out. I look over to Peeta who is calm as ever. With his bronze hair and brown contacts I know he at least is almost unrecognizable as the notorious Peeta Mellark. I feel like he reads my thoughts because he smiles at me, rubbing calming circles in my lower back and I start to relax just a little bit. Finnick on the other hand looks like a star trying to go incognito, complete with baseball cap and sunglasses. I’m not sure it was the best idea him coming, but he insisted he would be helpful, and we need all the help we can get.

As I look around at all the families and students, chatting and excited, so happy to be here I let out a big sigh wishing I was here under different circumstances. I wish there wasn’t a reason my nervousness is eating away at my stomach. I should be here just happy to see my sister reach this great achievement in her life. My heart thumps heavily as I realized how much I have missed of my sisters final school year. But all I can focus on is having her back now. 

Sae takes my hand, and squeezes it in her always reassuring manner. "Don't worry baby girl. It's going to work out. We always make it work out." I look at her weathered old face, always so optimistic and I know she is right. We've been through worse, and I will do everything I can to make it up to my sister. 

"We can go to plan B where Finnick and I just charm the pants off your grandma," Peeta says next to me with a very disarming smile, and I knock my elbow below his rib, causing him to let out a little oof.

"No offense Peeta but I think Johanna would have better luck with my grandmother than you two," I answer trying to hide my smile at the indignation seen on both men. "Well let's do this," I say squaring my shoulders and walk towards the Hawthornes who are spilling out of their own mini van. 

Our public school is large with over six hundred graduating students so the ceremony is taking place on the football field. The graduates will be assembling on the field with a constructed stage while the families are crowded in on the bleachers. In theory we should blend in. 

We make our way through the aisle between the bleachers but I suddenly halt when I spot the distinctive straight grey hair of my grandmother. She is sitting front and center, a large clearing around her, back straight and proud as she is waiting for the graduation to commence. My grandfather is nowhere to be seen but my mother is sitting on her right, looking thinner and more ghostlike than ever. Flanking them are what are obviously bodyguards, two on each side. I'm sure the trouble she is expecting looks a little like me. 

"Maybe if we walk to the other side she won't see you," Gale says, noticing her just as I do. 

"No, I don't want to risk it," I say backing up slightly, welcoming the shadows of the bleachers. It just feels too exposed out there. 

"You all go up there, I'll stay with Katniss," Peeta says, gripping my hand a little firmer. Gale nods and pushes the family forward. I know he wants to stay, but he also knows that I won’t let him. He should see his brother graduate with the rest of his family.

"You go ahead too, Sae. I know you want a good view of Prim," I say turning to her. 

"I'll lob tomatoes at Coin’s back," she says with a wink raising her bulky purse. My eyes widen in horror for a moment at her mischievious expression, not sure if she is serious or not. With her you never know. 

“May I escort you M’lady,” Finnick asks with a bow and she gracefully takes his arm and gives him a sly wink. Soon the entire clan is heading up the bleachers, leaving Peeta and I behind. 

Peeta pulls me under some of the bleachers, his arms wrapping me from behind and tucks his chin on my shoulder. We have a good angle of the stage and of Coin as we watch people pass by, just waiting for the ceremony to start. 

"How the hell are we going to get past that? The woman’s completely insane," I ask looking at Coin's rigid back surrounded by her heavy security, her eyes never flinching from the soon to be occupied stage. “I mean who brings two guards to a graduation?! A crazy person with major possessive issues, that’s who.”

"You'll figure something out. I mean let's take Circus Circus as an example. You completely winged it and look how that turned out, bodies scattered everywhere," Peeta answers and I can feel his body shaking behind me with a silent chuckle. He sure was pissed at the time, but I'm glad he now finds some humor in the situation.

There is suddenly a very loud protest of young voices above us and I quickly realize it's the two youngest Hawthorne's Posy and Vick fighting before Gale's gruff voice quiets them. 

"We can always use them as a distraction," I joke, causing us both to chuckle quietly as Peeta’s chest vibrates against my back, his lips against the skin of my neck.

"Yeah, they could distract the secret service. See Kitten, already coming up with a plan," he answers as we sway gently. 

“That’s it though,” I exclaim suddenly occurring to me the perfect time. “At the end when all the families gather on the field. It will be complete chaos, parents and students will be swarming everywhere. She just needs to know I’m here. In the mess maybe she can sneak away and we’ll get her out fast.”

“See Katniss, I knew you’d figure it out. Would Rory be able to tell her we are here?” 

“I don’t know. He said he would try but he wasn’t hopeful since she was meeting with the Principle and some of the school board beforehand. And not only is he not sitting next to her, but the Coins have been keeping a close eye on her.” My heart sinks at all the obstacles in front of us and my plan is flimsy at best. “Even if he was close enough, they don’t have their cell phones.” I barely hear Peeta telling me that he’ll text everyone the beginnings of our plan, as I wrack my brain trying to figure how the hell I am going to get my sister to not only notice me, but know to come to me. 

The graduation music starts and we are at full alert, taking my attention away from my dilemma for the moment. The graduates come from the opposite side of the bleachers so from my viewpoint I can only see their backs as they march up the aisle before sitting down. But despite the unending line of uniform robes and caps, I can easily recognize my Prim. I would recognize her anywhere. Her long sleek blonde hair shines brightly like no other, and her slim shoulders are straight and graceful. She is so so beautiful, it makes my heart ache so much seeing her so close, yet not knowing how I could get to her. It feels like she might as well be across an ocean. 

The graduation ceremony commences and then the torture begins, watching speech after speech as time ticks by with me no closer to knowing how I’m going to grab Prim’s attention without getting Coin’s as well. Why did I say we should wing it? Having shorter hair is not going to be enough to sneak past Coin’s sharp eyes. At the moment winning that gunfight seems easier than this situation. 

Although he remains silent, I can tell Peeta is as restless as I am, just by the way he shifts from foot to foot. The hand that is clutching mine squeezes a little too tightly. Finally they announce the valedictorian and my sister rises elegantly from her seat as everyone claps, some loud cheers and whistles intermixed indicating how popular she is amongst her classmates. 

Right away I can tell something is off. Even if she doesn’t show it, I know my sister too well, I can feel the unhappiness roll off of her. Prim’s shoulders slope slightly in what looks like defeat. My arms itch to grab and hold her; tell her how everything will be ok. My eyes track to my grandmother's head held high with such pride, but next to her my mother's shoulders hold the same defeat as her daughter's. It frightens me to the core to see the resemblance. I see my sister taking the same path as my mother and I'll do anything to save her from that. 

Silence finally descends and my sister clears her voice before speaking. "I know we all have the pressure to go out there in the real word to make it. To succeed. But I've learned something this year, and I learned it the hard way. At the end of the day success isn't measured by the money you make or the perfect grades. Success is measured by how much effort you put in your life every day. It is quantified by how far you've come up from where you started. It's counted in the way you don't put others down but help others instead. It is weighed by your bravery to keep getting up no matter what life has thrown at you. I learned from my sister what true courage is. What true integrity is. What true success is. Success is always having a pure good heart no matter what you have to do to survive. I can only try and live that model for my life as I go on. So go out there and succeed because I know you all can do it. Congratulations class of 2016!”

Tears fall unabated from my eyes at her words. Peeta wraps his arms tightly around me. She doesn't know I am here. She knows this will make her grandmother mad, but yet she still said it anyway. She not only still loves me but there is respect and admiration. She still sees worth in me that I thought was forever destroyed that awful day I last saw her. I realize Peeta, Sae and now Prim all love me despite the choices I’ve had to make. I am lucky beyond words to have these people in my life. 

The graduations erupts in cheers as I stand there smiling, proud of the amazing woman I helped raise. Coin is clapping with everyone else, a proud and haughty expression plastered on her face, like she had anything to do with raising Prim. But by the firm press of her lips, I can tell that she is not happy with what Prim has chosen to say in her speech about me. The anger burns bright inside me seeing my grandmother taking credit for Prim, acting like she has always been there for our family. To think of everything Prim and I have been through together - the poverty, the hunger, our mother on drugs. Where was Coin then? Prim, just a little girl, would spend hours patiently waiting with me on the street as I tried to make money playing guitar as Alma sat comfortable in her big house. 

But that memory triggers something else, I remember the whistle, the way I would call her attention to me when I had earned enough money that day for us to buy food. No matter what she was distracted with, she would come immediately when she heard me. So I do it, the loud three distinct notes that makes it through all the clapping. I see my sister look up, suddenly very aware, scanning in my direction. My heart stops, waiting for her reaction, the seconds seem to stretch, then her face stretches in a large smile, as bright as when she was a child looking up at me. She is happy I am here. She gives a small whistle in return and then a mischievous wink, the kind that tells me my sassy sister is back, before she sits back down, excitement radiating from her. 

"She knows you are here," Peeta whispers in my ear and he squeezes me tight with an excited anticipation that I feel. I nod my head, wiping the proud tears I hadn’t realized were there. 

Now that her speech is done, they begin the long task of handing out the diplomas. I’m having a hard time keeping still as graduate after graduate come up to pick up their fake diploma. My sister's name is called and even with everything going on, I hope Sae is doing the mundane task of taking a picture. How happy I am at the moment, it also just ratchets up my anxiety. Time is running out and we will have to act soon. I make a snap decision and fumble with my purse, pulling out the object that might help but will guarantee a world of trouble too. Peeta sees what I’m doing and silently nods in agreement, knowing it has to be done, so I turn it on. 

"She'll come to us at the end of the graduation, I know it Katniss. Be ready." Peeta tells me, rubbing my tense shoulders. And then it is over. Everyone has their diploma, clapping and cheers fill the field, and hats are thrown in the air.

The chaos is exactly like I expected it. Family and graduates are everywhere trying to find each other on the football field. I itch to jump into the fray get Prim now,but I know that I have to wait where I am. Coin does exactly what I hoped she would do, stay stoically in her spot, waiting as well for Prim to go to her. The body guards start to move, but they are unprepared for the enthusiasm of the people around them, especially the two youngest Hawthorne's who are running circles around them in a game of catch.Gale and Hazelle join the fray, half-heartedly trying to "catch" the two, causing an excellent of distraction. To top it off, Finnick takes off his glasses and hat right in front of my grandmother, causing a flutter of excitement as people instantly recognize him and surround him for an autograph. I can’t help but let out a small chuckle as I catch a glimpse of her exasperation as she looks for my sister. 

Peeta tugs at my arm, pulling me from the sight and I turn to see Rory leading my sister in my direction. My heart beats faster the closer she gets and then finally, finally she is in my arms and we are hugging and crying so hard I can barely breathe. She is shaking like a leaf and I'm trying to tell her it's okay but I’m pretty incoherent myself in my happiness to have her in my arms. 

We both pull back and just stare at each other with goofy smiles for a moment. “Your hair Katniss. It’s so different, the color, and it’s so short. Not that it’s still not beautiful.” 

“And you’re so tall,” I say, realizing she is now several inches over me. 

She let’s out a shaky laugh, “It’s because I’m wearing heels silly,” she says before taking a deep breath then continues. “Katniss I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. What I said...what I did, was awful I never meant it. You mean everything to me. I’ve missed you so much,” she cries in my shoulder. 

“No I’m sorry Prim. I regret ever lying to you,” I answer back holding her tight. I feel Peeta’s insistent push to get us further away from our grandmother and I realize we don't have time to have our reunion at this spot. So I wrap my arm around her waist and walk with her as fast as I can towards the car without pulling too much attention our way, Peeta and Rory behind us, both looking anxiously back. 

“Rory go get your brother and Finnick,” he orders and he simply nods his head and runs without a single word.

“Where’s Sae?” Prim asks as she clings to me. I point ahead, and Sae is twisting the straps of her large purse in her hands, waiting in the middle of the parking lot for us. Prim hurries just a little faster and plows into the old woman, who answers with one of her own tight hugs. My cheeks hurt smiling at them as Prim cries into her shoulder. 

“We need to get out of here now,” Peeta says urgently. I look behind him and I can feel my face blanch as I see who is pushing through people. Coin’s two bodyguards are hot on our heels with my grandmother right behind them, fire in her eyes. I turn around and try to rush us faster, but it’s no use. 

“Stop right there,” a loud deep voice booms behind us. I immediately come to a halt and turn back around to see the bodyguards holding their guns low in front of them. Barely a trickle of people have left the stadium, and we are so far down the parking lot, that there is virtually nobody around to witness the drama unfolding. I instinctively block Prim and Sae’s body with my own, but Peeta clearly has the same instincts as he blocks all three of us. I want him to move but his body is practically an immovable stone. 

“You can’t shoot us here in public,” I spit out just as Coin steps past them. 

“Oh but have you forgotten you have a restraining order. It’s in my right to protect what’s mine from the likes of you. And make no mistake, Prim IS mine.” She holds her head held up high, like she owns the world, like she owns all of us. With those two armed men flanking her, she holds all the cards and has no reason to fear us. Rory, Gale and Finnick come running up behind her, but she barely acknowledges them, just sharply nodding her head at one of the men. He turns around so they are sure to see the weapon in his hand as they come to a grinding halt, the other guard not flinching as he keeps his sights in my direction. I am relieved that Hazelle is keeping the little ones away from this. 

“Grandmother, please, let me go. Let me be with my sister.” Prim pleads, her thin fingers clinging to my hand like she did as a child. 

“Primrose Everdeen, I did not train you to disobey your grandmother. Come here this very moment. Eddie retrieve her this instant.” Her words are not spoken loud, but the deadly threat in them is absolutely clear. The minute stretches as nobody moves, and the joyful sounds of the celebratory graduates sound muffled by the thick tension pulsing in the air. 

But then an unexpected voice rings out loud and clear despite its weak tentative nature. “Mother stop this this now. This has gone on long enough.” My mother steps from behind to face her, surprising all of us. We all had not even realized she was even there. 

“This has nothing to do with you Claire, move aside,” she orders harshly. My mother just laughs, a brittle sad sound that holds no humor in it. 

“You’re right. I really have nothing to do with this, for such a long time.” She looks at us and her eyes soften with painful remorse. “My children. My beautiful children,” she says before she turns back to our grandmother. “But I’m done staying on the sideline. I’m done hurting the people I love.” Her eyes take us in, glistening with tears. It fills my heart with such pain and warmth because it’s been a long time since I’ve seen any type of emotion in those eyes, so similar to my sisters. 

“I’m sorry my lovely girls. I am so sorry that I got you in this mess.” 

“Stay out of it Claire. You don't get it. Cognitive thinking has been one of your many deficiencies. That is why I have the control,” Alma answers, her voice finally breaking with her frustration. “What matters is what is right. And that is for Prim to stay with me, and the other one to go back to whatever brothel she came from. You already fucked up your own pathetic life. I’m not having you ruining another.” And if I could be any more surprised by my mother, she steps up to Coin and slaps her, hard, leaving a distinct red mark on her cheek. Coin clutches her smarting cheek, her mouth opened in shock at my defiant mother. 

“No mother you are the one who doesn't get. You don’t have any more say, and you only ever did in the first place because I let you. Not only have I lifted the restraining order against Katniss, which I should have never signed in the first place, but Katniss is now her temporary guardian. By the time you get the courts to do anything she will be either gone or eighteen. It’s over mother.” 

I am frankly stunned so stunned, I am stripped of my ability to react. Everyone is standing like me, complete shock written all over their faces. I think everyone had forgotten my mother even existed, let alone consider that she would have any leverage in the situation. But Prim squeezes my hand tighter and I see the hope growing in her eyes, probably reflecting my very own.

“You have no right!” Coin screams, her face turning a combination of blotchy white, red and purple. Before any of us can react she plunges for my mother, arms forward so she can lock her frail neck in her angry grip. 

Chaos erupts for a moment as we all lunge to pull them apart. Prim scoots between Peeta and I to reach her grandmother, trying to pull her arm, but we are held back by the desperate guard who is waving his gun at us telling us to stop. The same is happening on the other side with Gale, Finnick, and Rye as the boys shout at the bodyguard to put the gun down. 

“In the name of the U.S. authorities government, stop this very instant!” Booms a voice louder than any of ours, stopping us in place. I turn around to see two black sedans had pulled up, and outside of them are Paylor, Pollux and Castor with grim faces looking at what is before them.

The bodyguards are quick to put their guns away, faces paling and I take that moment to push through and split my grandmother from my mom, wedging my body between them so the bitch can no longer get to her. 

Paylor pulls off her sunglasses and shakes her head at me, but there is a glimmer in her eye that tells me she is not totally overboard pissed... yet. “Why am I not surprised that this is how I would find you Katniss.” 

“My locater is quite efficient isn’t it?” I say pulling my ankle bracelet out of my purse. It was a risk but I couldn’t afford anyone getting hurt because of me and I knew they would back me up. 

“Yes it is. And thank you for turning it back on. I’m going to have to discuss improving the technology with our tech staff since it needs obvious improvements to prevent it being tampered with,” she answers, clearly aggravated.

“The party is over, let’s get going Katniss and Peeta,” Castor inserts.

“No!” My sister practically screams and she jumps into my arms, clinging onto me as tightly as I’m to her. “You can’t take her from me again.” Protests abound all around about taking us away, including Hazelle and the kids who have come closer now the danger is over. Even Coin has snapped out of her stupor to complain loudly that I need to be arrested immediately for disturbing the graduation. 

“Enough!” Comes out a surprising voice, and I turn to see Pollux had bellowed out the word to quiet us very effectively. 

“If I may intercede,” Sae interrupts stepping up. “Why don’t we all go to the diner and figure this out. It’s closed right now since I was planning to use it for a graduation party anyway, so we’ll have the place to ourselves.” 

Paylor is rubbing her temples while nodding her head. “Fine, that sounds like a great idea. Let’s just leave before we draw even more people towards us. A freakin’ graduation…” mumbling the last part. I look around and see that we have indeed started to draw curious stares now our way. Paylor heads back to her black Sedan but Coin’s sharp voice stops her before she gets to her car. 

“This is absolutely ridiculous. I refuse to be part of any of this any longer. I am leaving right now with my granddaughter Prim.” 

“Stop!” Paylor says putting her hand up, while her other hand continues to massage her temple. “Are you Prim’s legal guardian?” 

“Well… No.” 

“Then who is?”

“Katniss is, ma’am,” my mother answers stepping forward. “At least on a temporary basis while I go into rehab.” 

“Really mom?” I turn to her and she reaches her hand out to me, and I take it while she nods yes. 

“I had faith you would come for your sister. And I want to be the mother you both deserve.” Prim throws herself on our mother, tears spilling down and for a moment everything is hopeful.

“Well that settles it then,” Paylor answers but I can here she might have unshed tears she is trying to hold back. “Let’s move this to this diner of yours. Mrs. Coin, you are free to leave, but I suggest your guards watch themselves or they might get arrested for excessive force.” 

We all head to the vehicles, Pollux and Castor making sure Peeta and I go into the official government vehicles and I only look back once at my grandmother who’s face is beet red, flanked by her stunned guards. I have the need to spit in her face, but she is not worth even that. There is no more to say to this woman who has proven repeatedly how little she deserved the title of grandmother. I don’t care what happens to her, if it’s the last thing I do it’s to make sure she never get’s near my family ever again. 

We finally pile into the car, Peeta, Prim and I squeezing in the back. I am happily in the middle, holding onto my sister as tightly as she is to me, my other hand clutching his, my continual anchor as we drive away from the school and leaving Alma Coin behind. 

___________________________

 

“We are not arguing about this Katniss, you can’t change my mind.” 

“You are right, there is no arguing, because you will say as I do.”

“So are you just throwing me off? My legal guardian?”

We silently stare at each other, stubbornly trying to enforce our will. Everyone else in the room has remained completely captivated, looking back and forth at our verbal tennis match, unwilling to interfere. Which is smart, because the #1 Rule of dealing with sisters is never get in between an argument. 

“Now girls, here is some chocolate cherry coke, both your favorite. Drink and take a moment.” Unless of course you are Sae, who always manages to say, or do the right thing. We both blink up at her, her stern gaze telling us to do as she says, before she walks back into the kitchen to help prepare the rest of the food for our larger than expected group. The very voracious Finnick has already polished off a huge basket of fries with Castor and Pollack who are all sharing a booth. They were talking easily until the clash of wills with my sister started. 

Paylor looks exasperated but hasn’t bothered to interfere, letting us work it out as she sucks down a shake. Her information about Snow doesn’t really help the situation. He is dying. The bastard has terminal cancer. But even dying snakes are just as poisonous. He won’t go out without trying to destroy me, was her helpful information.

We’ve been going around in circles for half an hour now. Prim wants to go with me into protective custody and I don’t want her to miss out on college. I’ve worked too hard, sacrificed too much for her to give it all up for me right now. I feel a soothing thumb circling on my lower back and I turn to Peeta, his warm blue eyes, calming me down. 

“Let’s talk in private for a moment,” he whispers in my ear. I take a swig of the soda and stand up, taking his hand and pulling him with me. 

“We’ll be back in a minute.” I say to the group.

“Peeta you better be convincing her to take me along!” She yells towards us. 

I pull him to the back, and push him into the storage room, promptly closing the door tightly. I am just opening my mouth for a tirade on stubborn sisters, when his mouth descends on me, taking advantage to plunder my mouth with his tongue. The seconds stretch to minutes as my once stiff body surrenders to him and I melt in his arms. His hand sneaks up my skirt, sliding up my thigh until he finds his destination. He slip my panties to the side and starts rubbing my throbbing clit vigorously. By the time we come up for air, my leg is hitched up on his hip, fingers entwined in his hair and my eyes are clearing from the quick intense orgasm he has just given me with his talented fingers. 

“What was that for?” I pant out. 

He shrugs with a wicked smile. “You were getting pretty wound up out there. I figured I should take a moment to get you to relax before you have a real fight with the sister you were just reunited with.”

I slap him hard on the chest which only gets him chuckling more. I try to my hardest to give him my best scowl but it won’t stick with that adorable smug look he’s giving me. 

He pulls me tighter into his arms and kisses me on the forehead, before I lean my head on his shoulder and hug him tightly back.

“Okay, Katniss, what’s going on? You have her and now you’re pushing her away.”

“I reacted too fast Peeta, without thinking. All I knew is that Coin was crazy and rich enough take Prim away from us forever. I was desperate. And now I don’t know what to do. I want to keep her close, but what sort of life will she lead hiding with us? I just don’t want her to mess up her future for me. She’s worked too hard to get into school to throw it all away for her screw-up sister.” Just spilling my confessions out to Peeta makes anxiety rise in my chest. 

“Hey I like that you don’t think and just act,” He answers. I try to hit his chest again as he softly laughs at me, catching my wrist with his strong hand so that he can kiss my palm. And just like that he has calmed me again.

“I’m serious Katniss. You have great instincts, act when it’s needed. If you had hesitated for a day she would be off to Europe by now and who knows when we’d see her next. Never doubt that. You are not a screw up and you know it,” he says shaking me a little. “Prim is almost eighteen. This is her chance to be with you. Things are changing so fast. You have to take this opportunity with her while you can. We’ll figure it out. She’ll still go to school.” 

I don’t know what to say so I wrap my arms around his neck and give him a deep kiss, getting lost for a moment in a connection that is far more than physical. “So you know Mr. Mellark, that is my way of saying thank you for being here for me.” 

“Wow, I love the way you say thanks. Wait until later when I show you my ‘you’re welcome’,” he says with a cheesy wink, making me snort loudly. 

“Peeta…” I pull away slowly, running my finger on his chest. There has been something I’ve been keeping from him, and now is as good as any to tell him. “Life is changing faster than you think.”

He hooks my chin, up so that I look at him. “What’s changing Katniss?” he asks with just a slight hint of worried confusion in his eyes. 

“With all the stress we’ve been through, I guess, there are certain responsibilities I went lax on.” I take a deep breath, and finally confess. “Peeta, I kinda maybe sorta think I may be a little pregnant.”

I look at him expectantly, afraid of his reaction. This is something we have never even talked about, but there is no way I wouldn’t want to keep Peeta’s child, even if I do feel woefully unprepared for the task ahead. But our connection has become so deep in the last few months, despite his stunned silence, I can only see good in his eyes. There is a joy there, so intense, I’ve never seen anything like it before. 

“Really? I mean… are you sure?” He stumbles out, a shaky hand moving to my flat belly. 

“I still need to go to a doctor, but I’m pretty sure. And if you are willing, I want to do this with you.” 

“Of course!” He exclaims with a laugh before cupping my face with his large warm hands and bending down to give me a kiss. I can feel tears drop from his eyes and they start my own. I’ve never been more terrified and happy in my life.

“So let’s tell Prim the good news. At least about her. Let’s keep the other news between us for a little bit.”

Peeta agrees and pulls me out of the storage room. When we enter the main room, all conversation stops as they look at us with curiosity while Prim biting her lip nervously. 

We move to sit down from her, and Peeta pulls me to sit on his lap instead of the chair next to him. I give him a stern look, Prim smirks, and Gale rolls his eyes. 

“Well Peeta, do you want to tell her?” I say wrapping my arm around his neck and settling in more comfortably. 

“Prim, of course we want you to go to stay with us, but you need to go to school regardless. There is a university only a few miles away, and we’d like you to attend there. You can come back to our place on the weekends. Agent Paylor, can you arrange for her admission into the UC?” 

“Of course. But you’ll need to change your name Prim as a precaution,” Paylor answers. “We cannot risk any danger coming to you in revenge for Katniss.”

“Yes, anything. I don’t care. I just want to be with you Katniss,” she answers, looking every bit a stubborn Everdeen. I reach out and squeeze her hand, and smile at her. I hear a couple of sniffs and see Sae and my mother are also trying to control their emotions. 

“Can I put in one request?” We all turn to Rye who has been silently sitting next to Prim all this time. Her eyes widen as she realizes that she won’t be seeing her boyfriend in the foreseeable future. 

“Prim,” he says turning to her. “Can you please take my last name. I know I won’t see you for a long time, but I plan to see you again. I plan to marry you one day, and that won’t change. So if you take my last name, I know you’ll be waiting for me too.” Prim nods her head furiously and she attacks him with her patented fierce hug, holding on tightly as she can. 

Paylor’s lips form a straight line, “How romantic that may be, the Hawthornes are known to be close to the Everdeens, you can be easily tracked. How about a compromise, a middle name perhaps?”

Rory and Prim look each other and silently agree before turning over back to Paylor and giving their assent. 

Everything finally settled, Sae hustles into the kitchen and comes back with lunch for everyone with help from the Hawthorne boys. There is a feeling of joy and relief as we share our final moments together despite the fact that we’re unsure of when we will all be together again. Peeta briefly, puts his hand on my stomach again, the look of dazed amazement coming into his eyes again. The always sharp Sae zones in on this and her weathered face form a sweet smile. She takes my hand and squeezes it as I give her a silent nod of confirmation. 

When asked if she’s changed her mind, again, Sae refuses to join us. She decides it’s best to stay home to watch after my mother, to be there for her when she gets out of rehab. There is no way I can ever repay this amazing, kind woman for the many ways she has saved and loved my family. 

Peeta distracts me from mourning the loss of my real grandmother by tugging on my other hand and I turn to look into his eyes as he kisses my palm, comforting me silently. Sometimes I feel like I could live a thousand lifetimes and not deserve the man at my side. But he has repeatedly told me the same thing about myself. I will just have to settle with the fact that not only were we lucky we found each other once, but that we’re able to find each other again. Despite all the odds not being in our favor, we survived some seemingly insurmountable challenges to be with each other today. As we share secret smiles I vow silently that I will always fight with every fiber of my being to keep him and our child safe and happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all those who commented on this story and asked me how it was going. You all keep me going.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction so I would love to hear some feedback. I the only knowledge of brothels I have from HBO so I wingin' it. I hope you enjoy this story!
> 
> I do not own the Hunger Games or the characters therein. That honor belongs to Suzanne Collins.


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